Deleted Scene from "The Passion"

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-03-02 04:46am

Careful, you might get 64-ounce of Coca-Cola dumped over your head by some 75-year-old woman!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-03-02 04:59am

Heh heh heh.

Poe's gonna get smoted...

KhyronTheBackstabber · Post by **KhyronTheBackstabber** » 2004-03-02 05:03am

Don't forget the scene where Jesus goes into the inn, hands the innkeeper three nails, and asks "Can you put me up for the night?"

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-03-02 05:07am

This reminds me of a joke I've read:

The Apostles decide to do Jesus a little surprinse and they get a hooker for him. They put them in the same room, but after a while there's screaming and the girl runs crying and yelling. When Jesus comes out, he is asked what happened.
"Well, she started to undress and remained naked in front of me. Then she spreaded her legs and when I saw the wound she had there I cured her"

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-03-02 08:37am

Comosicus wrote:This reminds me of a joke I've read:

The Apostles decide to do Jesus a little surprinse and they get a hooker for him. They put them in the same room, but after a while there's screaming and the girl runs crying and yelling. When Jesus comes out, he is asked what happened.
"Well, she started to undress and remained naked in front of me. Then she spreaded her legs and when I saw the wound she had there I cured her"

YOU SICK DERANGED MONSTER!!!

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-03-02 06:09pm

Another one.

"I hear Jesus has a huge dick."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, because he was hung like this."

*stretches out arms in crucifixion pose*

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-03-02 07:29pm

This idea is so obvious and tasteless, I'm suprise no one's done it yet.

A picture of four Jesus'.

One's crucified traditionally (Like a Y)... One's crucifed like an M... I hope you see where I'm going with this.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2004-03-02 07:40pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:This idea is so obvious and tasteless, I'm suprise no one's done it yet.

A picture of four Jesus'.

One's crucified traditionally (Like a Y)... One's crucifed like an M... I hope you see where I'm going with this.

I don't think it's possible to arrange a human body in the shape of an M or an A like that without severe dismembering.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2004-03-02 07:42pm

Andrew J. wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:This idea is so obvious and tasteless, I'm suprise no one's done it yet.

A picture of four Jesus'.

One's crucified traditionally (Like a Y)... One's crucifed like an M... I hope you see where I'm going with this.
I don't think it's possible to arrange a human body in the shape of an M or an A like that without severe dismembering.

Thats the idea.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-03-02 07:56pm

I was just talking about the arms, like normally done... but whatever works.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2004-03-03 12:49am

That reminds me of the Jesus porn I thought up once... You can twist the bible around to be a very perverted book...

Post by **Dalton** » 2004-03-03 02:38am

Alyrium Denryle wrote:That reminds me of the Jesus porn I thought up once... You can twist the bible around to be a very perverted book...

Why do you need to twist it around? Just read the story of Lot for all the pervertedness you need.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-03-03 04:25am

ROTFLMAO!! Nice ones!

"Jesus saves; Gretsky scores!!"

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2004-03-03 09:13pm

Alyrium Denryle wrote:That reminds me of the Jesus porn I thought up once... You can twist the bible around to be a very perverted book...

Jesus: Get thee up behind me, Satan.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-03-03 11:26pm

Heh, that was worth a chuckle.

Gandalf wrote:Heh heh heh.

Poe's gonna get smoted...

[nitpick]It's just smote. Smite is the verb, smote is the past tense.[/nitpick]

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-03-04 01:35am

Darth Yoshi wrote:Heh, that was worth a chuckle.
Gandalf wrote:Heh heh heh.

Poe's gonna get smoted...
[nitpick]It's just smote. Smite is the verb, smote is the past tense.[/nitpick]

Methinks the nitpick is unnecessary, Gandalf's just being silly.

Hobot · Post by **Hobot** » 2004-03-09 09:32am

Hilarious. Now, if I were to obtain a picture of a person jumping out of the World Trade Center tower and slap on the same speech bubble wouldn't that be hysterical?

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2004-03-09 06:02pm

Hobot wrote:Hilarious. Now, if I were to obtain a picture of a person jumping out of the World Trade Center tower and slap on the same speech bubble wouldn't that be hysterical?

No, because the World Trade Center was a real tragedy; not a fairy tale.

Hobot · Post by **Hobot** » 2004-03-09 07:05pm

Lord Poe wrote:
Hobot wrote:Hilarious. Now, if I were to obtain a picture of a person jumping out of the World Trade Center tower and slap on the same speech bubble wouldn't that be hysterical?
No, because the World Trade Center was a real tragedy; not a fairy tale.

So you deny the historical fact that thousands of innocent (and guilty) people were crucified?

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-03-09 07:28pm

Alyrium Denryle wrote:That reminds me of the Jesus porn I thought up once... You can twist the bible around to be a very perverted book...

all Psalms is is soft core pr0n anyways. . . . .

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2004-03-09 09:27pm

Hobot wrote:So you deny the historical fact that thousands of innocent (and guilty) people were crucified?

When has reality ever stopped people from using black comedy? Never, that's when. Grow some balls, pussy.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-03-09 10:39pm

Joe wrote:Another one.

"I hear Jesus has a huge dick."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, because he was hung like this."

*stretches out arms in crucifixion pose*

I was thinking of a teen comedy starring a 16 year-old Jesus and his apostles in high school. It could be called "Fast Times at Bethlehem High, or "Isreali Pie", or something.

Hobot · Post by **Hobot** » 2004-03-09 10:53pm

kojikun wrote:
Hobot wrote:So you deny the historical fact that thousands of innocent (and guilty) people were crucified?
When has reality ever stopped people from using black comedy? Never, that's when. Grow some balls, pussy.

When did I ever say I was offended by the image?

Still, I wonder what kind of reaction I'd get if I were to post WTC themed version of that kind of humour. Do you think I'd have to wait a few years to get some laughs?

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2004-03-10 12:02am

Hobot wrote:When did I ever say I was offended by the image?

Still, I wonder what kind of reaction I'd get if I were to post WTC themed version of that kind of humour. Do you think I'd have to wait a few years to get some laughs?

Some kids at my school are already using 9/11-related topics when we joke with the fundementalists. It depends on the people. Give it 2000 years.