Girl problem: Getting to know her.
Moderator: Edi
Girl problem: Getting to know her.
I met this really cool girl... (Famous last words.)
She works down at the art counter in the bookstore I work at. She's in to kung-fu movies and Roald Dahl. She's pretty and she's cool, so I figure, what the hell? I want to try to get somewhere with this girl. Anywhere. If I get banished to the Friend-tom Zone, so be it.
The only complication is that I only can talk to her when she's working, since that's the only place where I'll know she'll be at. Since she's pretty busy, while working, we haven't had much opportunity to talk much. So I can't rely on extending a conversation to, "hey, we should hang out sometime." I have no idea how to go about trying to finesse my way into a situation where I can meet her outside of work.
Any suggestions?
She works down at the art counter in the bookstore I work at. She's in to kung-fu movies and Roald Dahl. She's pretty and she's cool, so I figure, what the hell? I want to try to get somewhere with this girl. Anywhere. If I get banished to the Friend-tom Zone, so be it.
The only complication is that I only can talk to her when she's working, since that's the only place where I'll know she'll be at. Since she's pretty busy, while working, we haven't had much opportunity to talk much. So I can't rely on extending a conversation to, "hey, we should hang out sometime." I have no idea how to go about trying to finesse my way into a situation where I can meet her outside of work.
Any suggestions?
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
Gah. I feared it would come to that.Superman wrote:Chics love confident guys. Do like Nike says and "just do it." Just ask her. Say something like, "hey, let's go see that new Johnny Depp movie" or something like that. That's all there is to it.
Confidence - the other superpower. The one that gets you chicks.
Fuckin' A, man. Your advice is noted, appreciated, and unfortunately probably accurate as all hell.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
Thanks for the good news Superman, and the advice. I really like this girl. I think she's worth the risk.Superman wrote:Even assholes get hot chicks. Know why? They're confident. Even if they're assholes. They're CONFIDENT assholes.
But I do have good news for you, crom. This DOES get easier, believe it or not. After you get a little experience under your belt, it's not quite so hard.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
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What risk? There is no risk. If she says no, blah, you're no worse than before, your ego will heal in a few days, or in a night if you have enough beer with you.Crom wrote:Thanks for the good news Superman, and the advice. I really like this girl. I think she's worth the risk.Superman wrote:Even assholes get hot chicks. Know why? They're confident. Even if they're assholes. They're CONFIDENT assholes.
But I do have good news for you, crom. This DOES get easier, believe it or not. After you get a little experience under your belt, it's not quite so hard.
On the other hand, there's so much to gain..
Hey, look at it this way, the only thing she can do is complain to her boss that her collegue is sexually harrassing her and ask to work at a different chain.Crom wrote: Gah. I feared it would come to that.
Confidence - the other superpower. The one that gets you chicks.
Fuckin' A, man. Your advice is noted, appreciated, and unfortunately probably accurate as all hell.
To this day, I'm still wondering which portion of our statements consitute sexual harrassment, although "harrassment" was..... apt, I guess.
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Casual spontaniety gets the chicks too.
Well Crom,
You know her interests already so get a conversation going with her about a Kung-Fu movie that you thought had some funny or memorable scenes or a Roal Dahl story/poem you just read that you thought was particularly poignant and when you get her enthusiastically involved in the conversation, ask her in a seemingly spontaneous way if she'd like to go out and do something fun with you on the weekend. She'll of course say yes, then say "lemme get your number, I'll call you" then make a strategic withdrawal.
Well Crom,
You know her interests already so get a conversation going with her about a Kung-Fu movie that you thought had some funny or memorable scenes or a Roal Dahl story/poem you just read that you thought was particularly poignant and when you get her enthusiastically involved in the conversation, ask her in a seemingly spontaneous way if she'd like to go out and do something fun with you on the weekend. She'll of course say yes, then say "lemme get your number, I'll call you" then make a strategic withdrawal.
Personaly I would just go up to her and ask her to a movie, that's too obvious for me and it's a kinda date thing, which you don't wanna do if you want to get to know her first.
I'd say wait till you finish work and then ask her if she wants to go for a coffee of something. Never underestimate the power and alure of caffine.
I'd say wait till you finish work and then ask her if she wants to go for a coffee of something. Never underestimate the power and alure of caffine.
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I OTOH have a problem that I want to get to know a girl first before I decided wheter it could be anything else, and then I might have come to like them alot so there's alot more at risk, just going forward and trying to pick someone up is something I could never do unless heavily inebriated...Colonel Olrik wrote:What risk? There is no risk. If she says no, blah, you're no worse than before, your ego will heal in a few days, or in a night if you have enough beer with you.
On the other hand, there's so much to gain..
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You want a good opening line? Walk up to her and say hello. Remember to smile. If you talk to her (remember to ask her about herself and don't drone on about yourself!!!) then she might be sufficiently intrigued to want to continue the conversation privately.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
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I recommend getting her full name and the tag number from her car. Armed with that information, you should be able to get her address and phone number, maybe her social security number. Then you can stake out a good spot to watch her house and learn her schedule. Be sure to remember a camera with a telephoto lens! After a week or two of observation, you should be able to enter her home confident nobody will be there--we wouldn't want her to spoil the surprise, would we? Don't forget, people often forget to lock upstairs windows, if you're having trouble with the lock on the door.
Inside, you'll want to document everything you can. Especially important are documents like bank statements, credit card bills, tax records, etc. Be sure to check her bedroom thoroughly--that's where her most treasured possessions are likely to be kept, and they'll give you a good idea what kind of person she is (also, take the opportunity to search for any firearms and remove their ammunition--guns aren't safe, and if you really care about her, you won't risk her hurting herself). Be sure you leave the house just the way it did when you came in, and leave before your sweetie gets home!
Now, with all this information (you might want to build your own darkroom to develop the photos--heaven forbid she knows one of the guys at the drugstore who develops pictures who might spoil the big surprise for you!), you can get to work impressing her. Because you know her schedule and her route to and from work (you HAVE been following her, right?), you can arrange a "coincidental" meeting at your convenience where you can casually mention how you two are so alike, your credit card balances are nearly the same, or that your mothers live within a few miles of each other (be sure you mention her mom's real address and maybe a few fun facts, like the time she goes to sleep at night or the type of lock on her back door, just to show you're not some dilletante, but you're REALLY interested in her). To really impress her, arrange several of these "coincidences" within a few days, each at different locations. She'll think Fate is bringing you together!
Finally, one magical evening, it will be time to make your move. Buy a dozen of her favorite flower and sneak into her house while she's asleep. Get naked and slide into bed with her, holding the flowers. Wrap your arms around her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear until she wakes up. She might be startled, so be sure to hold on tight when she first wakes up. Once she realizes who you are, she'll be so happy she'll shriek with joy.
I hope this advice helps.
Inside, you'll want to document everything you can. Especially important are documents like bank statements, credit card bills, tax records, etc. Be sure to check her bedroom thoroughly--that's where her most treasured possessions are likely to be kept, and they'll give you a good idea what kind of person she is (also, take the opportunity to search for any firearms and remove their ammunition--guns aren't safe, and if you really care about her, you won't risk her hurting herself). Be sure you leave the house just the way it did when you came in, and leave before your sweetie gets home!
Now, with all this information (you might want to build your own darkroom to develop the photos--heaven forbid she knows one of the guys at the drugstore who develops pictures who might spoil the big surprise for you!), you can get to work impressing her. Because you know her schedule and her route to and from work (you HAVE been following her, right?), you can arrange a "coincidental" meeting at your convenience where you can casually mention how you two are so alike, your credit card balances are nearly the same, or that your mothers live within a few miles of each other (be sure you mention her mom's real address and maybe a few fun facts, like the time she goes to sleep at night or the type of lock on her back door, just to show you're not some dilletante, but you're REALLY interested in her). To really impress her, arrange several of these "coincidences" within a few days, each at different locations. She'll think Fate is bringing you together!
Finally, one magical evening, it will be time to make your move. Buy a dozen of her favorite flower and sneak into her house while she's asleep. Get naked and slide into bed with her, holding the flowers. Wrap your arms around her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear until she wakes up. She might be startled, so be sure to hold on tight when she first wakes up. Once she realizes who you are, she'll be so happy she'll shriek with joy.
I hope this advice helps.
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Say "hi", then say "whats your name" then say "im [insert name here]" (these last two are interchangable) hopefully using her superior female conversation skills she should be able to keep the coversation going.
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Hrm, I'm having the same problem as Crom, but I'm a bit further ahead. I'm wondering what kind of telephoto lens to get, I've never been into photography so I feel like I'm in way over my head. I tried to get help at the local Best Buy, but when I described my plans they just looked at me funny and called security.
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Wait a second, Julia Andrews was in the sound of music and she's MARY POPPINS!!
Good luck Crom, I hope you can get the nerve.
Good luck Crom, I hope you can get the nerve.
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Right. I think I'll keep this one on the backburner. Plan B. Right next to my Go-Straight-To-Jail card.RedImperator wrote:<snip> ... I hope this advice helps.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
So what you're saying is low-risk, high payoff? Holy moly, that's awesome! I'll do it!Colonel Olrik wrote:What risk? There is no risk. If she says no, blah, you're no worse than before, your ego will heal in a few days, or in a night if you have enough beer with you.
On the other hand, there's so much to gain..
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
That's a great idea, too. All I would need is something to suggest to go and do ... well, hopefully by then I'd know what she likes to do.Bertie Wooster wrote:Casual spontaniety gets the chicks too.
Well Crom,
You know her interests already so get a conversation going with her about a Kung-Fu movie that you thought had some funny or memorable scenes or a Roal Dahl story/poem you just read that you thought was particularly poignant and when you get her enthusiastically involved in the conversation, ask her in a seemingly spontaneous way if she'd like to go out and do something fun with you on the weekend. She'll of course say yes, then say "lemme get your number, I'll call you" then make a strategic withdrawal.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
I'm somewhat reluctant to shoot straight for the movie too. I'd actually like to get her in an environment where we could hang out first. On the other hand, why not aim high? Assuming she accepts and things go poorly, at least I got to see a Johnny Depp movie.Dorsk 81 wrote:Personaly I would just go up to her and ask her to a movie, that's too obvious for me and it's a kinda date thing, which you don't wanna do if you want to get to know her first.
I'd say wait till you finish work and then ask her if she wants to go for a coffee of something. Never underestimate the power and alure of caffine.
The coffee idea is cool, but one of the major problems is that our shifts are almost completely opposite. I'm just getting on just as she's getting off. And I don't drink coffee.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
I'm twenty-three. I don't know how old she is, she's preparing for grad school, so she should be between twenty-one and twenty-four.Galvatron wrote:It might help to dispense advice if we all knew how old you are and how old she is.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
Hello. Smile. Don't drone about myself. Right. Ask about herself. Must ... intrigue!Lagmonster wrote:You want a good opening line? Walk up to her and say hello. Remember to smile. If you talk to her (remember to ask her about herself and don't drone on about yourself!!!) then she might be sufficiently intrigued to want to continue the conversation privately.
"Our people were meant to be living gods, warrior-poets who roamed the stars bringing civilization, not cowards and bullies who prey on the weak and kill each other for sport. I never imagined they'd prove themselves so inferior. I didn't betray our people – they betrayed themselves."
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
-Gaheris Rhade, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
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That's good. I was afraid you were both teenagers. First of all, I'd ignore any advice that encourages stalking or gift-giving. You want to appear confident but not cocky and she needs to think you have an active social life.Crom wrote:I'm twenty-three. I don't know how old she is, she's preparing for grad school, so she should be between twenty-one and twenty-four.
Do you ever work with her on Thursdays?