Girl problem: Getting to know her.

muse · Post by **muse** » 2004-03-17 09:36pm

Actually I'd give her a call as soon as you can, we females can have rather busy lives especially on weekends (chick friends and all that..) so by the time Friday rolls around she may be all booked up. And make sure she gets your name & number too so that she can reach you to arrange plans for meeting up and all that.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-17 11:15pm

muse wrote:Actually I'd give her a call as soon as you can, we females can have rather busy lives especially on weekends (chick friends and all that..) so by the time Friday rolls around she may be all booked up. And make sure she gets your name & number too so that she can reach you to arrange plans for meeting up and all that.

My whole motivation for not calling immediately was to avoid being desperate. Good idea though, if I can't find her at work tonight, I'll try calling her.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-03-17 11:27pm

God, Crom... Just relax and FUCKING DO IT. If she likes you, it doesn't matter how retarded you think you look, she'll date you.

Bob the Gunslinger · Post by **Bob the Gunslinger** » 2004-03-18 05:02pm

One good way to get a date with a girl is not to be interested in her.
Maybe it's because you're less nervous and more yourself, or maybe girls read interest as desperation in a nerdy guy like me; I don't know why it works but it does.
I met my wife because I was bored waiting for class in the hallway and just started talking to the first cute girl I saw. Apparently I came off as charming and intelligent because she basically asked me out right away.

The other technique that works is humor. When I was working for the campus humor magazine (The Heuristic Squelch), it gave me a great icebreaker and instant credibility as a "fun guy."
If you can convince a girl you're fun to be around, she's more likely to want to be around you.

And you get to avoid the friend zone!

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2004-03-18 05:05pm

Crom wrote:My whole motivation for not calling immediately was to avoid being desperate. Good idea though, if I can't find her at work tonight, I'll try calling her.

That's why I asked you if you work with her on Thursdays.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-18 06:40pm

Bob the Gunslinger wrote:One good way to get a date with a girl is not to be interested in her.
Maybe it's because you're less nervous and more yourself, or maybe girls read interest as desperation in a nerdy guy like me; I don't know why it works but it does.
I met my wife because I was bored waiting for class in the hallway and just started talking to the first cute girl I saw. Apparently I came off as charming and intelligent because she basically asked me out right away.

The other technique that works is humor. When I was working for the campus humor magazine (The Heuristic Squelch), it gave me a great icebreaker and instant credibility as a "fun guy."
If you can convince a girl you're fun to be around, she's more likely to want to be around you. And you get to avoid the friend zone!

I think it's because you are more relaxed, personally. But either way, I've already expressed my interest in spades, so nothing to do but ride it out, eh?

Next time cool disinterest. Definitely.

Bob the Gunslinger · Post by **Bob the Gunslinger** » 2004-03-18 07:58pm

[quote]FUQed!!![/quote]

Uhm.... What does FUQ stand for?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-03-18 08:47pm

Crom wrote:Next time cool disinterest. Definitely.

It's not the disinterest per se; it's the fact that you're not tongue-tied and tripping all over yourself and looking foolish. You can be very obviously interested in a girl and she'll lap it up if you carry yourself with an aura of self-assurance.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2004-03-18 10:16pm

Bob the Gunslinger wrote:
FUQed!!!
Uhm.... What does FUQ stand for?

Frequently unasked questions
or go here

www.daltonator.com

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2004-03-18 10:28pm

Stuart Mackey wrote:
Bob the Gunslinger wrote:
FUQed!!!
Uhm.... What does FUQ stand for?
Frequently unasked questions
or go here

www.daltonator.com

http://www.daltonator.net/

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2004-03-18 10:38pm

Exonerate wrote:
Stuart Mackey wrote:
Bob the Gunslinger wrote: Uhm.... What does FUQ stand for?
Frequently unasked questions
or go here

www.daltonator.com
http://www.daltonator.net/

yeah yeah {you would think I should know that address by heart given that I have known the site for years...}

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-19 04:56am

Darth Wong wrote:It's not the disinterest per se; it's the fact that you're not tongue-tied and tripping all over yourself and looking foolish. You can be very obviously interested in a girl and she'll lap it up if you carry yourself with an aura of self-assurance.

I see the distinction. Well, disregard my previous statement and replace it with: Next time there will be an aura of self-assurance!

The whole thing is kind of taken some weird twists anyway. She can't go on Sunday because she's moving. The next weekend she's going to her mother's wedding. The weekend after that she's getting her wisdom teeth removed.

Oh, and her coworker told me how she'd be helping her move to her boyfriend's place this weekend. Crushing blow! Ow. She hasn't said anything to me about it, but I'm assuming the friend-tom zone for me.

The way I figure it, I'll try and arrange for her to come see Hellboy with me, since some friends are throwing a line party, the movie looks awesome, and she's still pretty damn cool, boyfriend or no.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-03-19 05:02am

Crom wrote:I see the distinction. Well, disregard my previous statement and replace it with: Next time there will be an aura of self-assurance!

Good man.

The whole thing is kind of taken some weird twists anyway. She can't go on Sunday because she's moving. The next weekend she's going to her mother's wedding. The weekend after that she's getting her wisdom teeth removed.

Oh, and her coworker told me how she'd be helping her move to her boyfriend's place this weekend. Crushing blow! Ow. She hasn't said anything to me about it, but I'm assuming the friend-tom zone for me.

Boyfriend? Shit!!!

Sorry to hear about that.

The way I figure it, I'll try and arrange for her to come see Hellboy with me, since some friends are throwing a line party, the movie looks awesome, and she's still pretty damn cool, boyfriend or no.

Ummm, be careful that you don't find yourself in this situation: http://www.wizard.net/~joelogon/platonic/

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-03-19 05:15am

Crom wrote:Oh, and her coworker told me how she'd be helping her move to her boyfriend's place this weekend. Crushing blow! Ow. She hasn't said anything to me about it, but I'm assuming the friend-tom zone for me.

Not necessarily a crushing blow. It just depends on what you want to do with her. Her coworker might be bullshitting. Or if your girl hasn't mentioned him perhaps things aren't rosy and peaches between them? You never know.

However I know exactly how that feels like regardless. I met a cute girl, just chatted her up before class (we were in the same class, we were waiting in the same area, this can be so fucking easy...). The problem was she had a boyfriend. Shit happens, eh? But the thing is don't let it get to you (like I let it get to me). You end up thinking "why bother?" which is not where you want to be, trust me.

The way I figure it, I'll try and arrange for her to come see Hellboy with me, since some friends are throwing a line party, the movie looks awesome, and she's still pretty damn cool, boyfriend or no.

That's the right attitude to have. Fuck Mr. I'm-not-around-to-take-my-girlfriend-to-a-martial-arts-film and just have fun with her.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-03-19 05:27am

Crom wrote:Oh, and her coworker told me how she'd be helping her move to her boyfriend's place this weekend. Crushing blow! Ow. She hasn't said anything to me about it, but I'm assuming the friend-tom zone for me.

God, I know exactly how that feels. I met this great girl, chatted her up for around two, three weeks. We looked in each other's eyes and started giggling. She showed real interest in hanging out with me.

So after about two or three weeks, with a bit of prodding from one of my friends (who had met her at the same time as I had), I ask her if she'd like to go out to dinner with me.

"I'm sorry, but I already have a boyfriend."

It's worst when it fuckin' comes out of nowhere, isn't it?

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-19 05:29am

Darth Wong wrote:Boyfriend? Shit!!!
Sorry to hear about that.

Yeah. I could have possibly believed in the faint hope that maybe she was thinking about leaving him for me. Only, that's completely crushed by the whole moving-in-with-him this weekend thing. Curse my Vulcan logic!

It's a crotch-punch alright. I wasn't the happiest of campers for a couple hours this evening. But if I've learned anything by this thread it is that there's other girls, and this kind of thing won't kill me. If anything, it's good practice. I mean, if I let this kind of thing tear me up, then I would be right back where I started. Fuck that.

Ummm, be careful that you don't find yourself in this situation: http://www.wizard.net/~joelogon/platonic/

Merciful Wonka ...
I am that man.

Thanks for the warning. There is much to consider.

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2004-03-19 05:33am

Boyfriends, damnable things, working around that problem myself, well all I am really doing is talking to her and having fun, and working in some compliments on her appearance and such(in such a way it's kinda obvious i am flirtig with her I hope), she seems to have low self-esteem, so it does tend to come up...

No, I don't really feel bad for this, she's clearly not happy in her current relationship, first they where together then they broke up, together again, now they are not together, more like dating, so I might as well try some moves out.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-19 05:37am

Stofsk wrote:Not necessarily a crushing blow. It just depends on what you want to do with her. Her coworker might be bullshitting. Or if your girl hasn't mentioned him perhaps things aren't rosy and peaches between them? You never know.

I'd like to believe that. I'm actually going to wait and see how things play out. I'm going to get my one date, goddamnit, I worked for it.

However I know exactly how that feels like regardless. I met a cute girl, just chatted her up before class (we were in the same class, we were waiting in the same area, this can be so fucking easy...). The problem was she had a boyfriend. Shit happens, eh? But the thing is don't let it get to you (like I let it get to me). You end up thinking "why bother?" which is not where you want to be, trust me.

Oh yeah. Been there. I just kept telling myself, "you got to take the bitter with the sweet," and grinned and bore it. After a while it wasn't so bad. And with this newfound confidence I am pretty certain I could do this again, only without the sixty page thread bolstering me up.

That's the right attitude to have. Fuck Mr. I'm-not-around-to-take-my-girlfriend-to-a-martial-arts-film and just have fun with her.

The way I figure it, I lost a year's worth of life asking her out, the least she can do is see an excellent movie with me.

Arthur_Tuxedo · Post by **Arthur_Tuxedo** » 2004-03-19 05:38am

Crom wrote:It's a crotch-punch alright. I wasn't the happiest of campers for a couple hours this evening. But if I've learned anything by this thread it is that there's other girls, and this kind of thing won't kill me. If anything, it's good practice. I mean, if I let this kind of thing tear me up, then I would be right back where I started. Fuck that.

Hey, you didn't call someone up who you've been too afraid to talk to for four years running and profess your undying love for her. Ahh, looking back at the kid I was makes me so glad I've already learned many of the most important lessons and don't have to go through that kind of hell again. Of course, I have zero experience when it comes to a real, committed relationship, so I'll probably look back on some soon to come disasters and be glad I've already learned things I don't know yet...

Anyway, you've got the right attitude. What it all comes down to is that there are plenty of intelligent and pretty women out there, and there will always be more where she came from.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-19 05:39am

Uraniun235 wrote:It's worst when it fuckin' comes out of nowhere, isn't it?

Especially when it's from nowhere. Like her coworker. Because I didn't know. And she hadn't said anything. Ah hell, it was going to suck no matter where it came from ...

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-03-19 05:39am

I should also like to point out that perserverence can yield results, but only if you really like this girl (and she likes you more than her current boyfriend). I had friends who were involved in a love triangle - she had been seeing one of my friends for years, and the other guy was friends with her for about as long. In any case, she recently broke up with her boyfriend because things had been going downhill for awhile, and also because she had been seeing the other guy as well.

Still, plenty of fish in the sea and all that.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-19 05:45am

Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:Hey, you didn't call someone up who you've been too afraid to talk to for four years running and profess your undying love for her. Ahh, looking back at the kid I was makes me so glad I've already learned many of the most important lessons and don't have to go through that kind of hell again. Of course, I have zero experience when it comes to a real, committed relationship, so I'll probably look back on some soon to come disasters and be glad I've already learned things I don't know yet...

Actually, I had a crush on a girl for three years. Two of these years whenever she got near me I would start babbling and tensing up. One day I came up to her and asked her, "Do you like me?"

Smooth Einstein. Smooth. That went over extremely well.

So while I haven't felt your pain, I can sympathize greatly. Definitely look back and be glad. Don't be too hard on yourself. Errors are made so we can learn and not look stupid later.

Anyway, you've got the right attitude. What it all comes down to is that there are plenty of intelligent and pretty women out there, and there will always be more where she came from.

Amen.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-03-19 05:47am

Stofsk wrote:I should also like to point out that perserverence can yield results, but only if you really like this girl (and she likes you more than her current boyfriend). I had friends who were involved in a love triangle - she had been seeing one of my friends for years, and the other guy was friends with her for about as long. In any case, she recently broke up with her boyfriend because things had been going downhill for awhile, and also because she had been seeing the other guy as well.

Oh, I like her alright. But I think, from the safety of my room far far far away from her, that I'd like to avoid something like that if possible. Jesus, I'd rather ask another girl out ...

Still, plenty of fish in the sea and all that.

Hell yeah.

Arthur_Tuxedo · Post by **Arthur_Tuxedo** » 2004-03-19 11:44am

Crom wrote:So while I haven't felt your pain, I can sympathize greatly. Definitely look back and be glad. Don't be too hard on yourself. Errors are made so we can learn and not look stupid later.

I'm not being hard on myself. I was 16 at the time, and barely even really knew the girl when it all came down to it. I look back on it with great amusement.

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2004-03-19 03:00pm

Crom, did it ever occur to you that she's unfaithful and just wants to have sex with you behind her boyfriend's back?

I'm not encouraging such immorality mind you (

), I'm just pointing it out as a possibility.