Darth Wong wrote:Several options for dealing with fingers covered in your girlfriend's vaginal fluids:
Wipe it on your dick to lube it up for insertion.
Put your fingers to her lips and see if she licks them off.
Lick it off your own fingers while grinning devilishly at her.
Simply ignore your messy fingers and do whatever you were planning to do.
Be a pathetic hygiene freak and wipe it off on the sheets.
Be a total loser and go to the bathroom where you carefully wash your hands with antibacterial soap.
PS. I personally tend to use options 2 and 3.
Since 7 is already taken.
8. Put it on her face, then slap and punch her face hard until she submits to your authority 100%.
Nothing spells hilarity like jokes about beating women, eh? You, sir, are a tool.
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963 X-Ray Blues
DPDarkPrimus wrote:Meh, even the newbs are getting more than me.
It's when the Underaged n00bs are getting more then you are that we really have to start the get women to visit Iowa fund going....
Alternatively, the "Get DPDP to visit women" fund.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest "Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
When do we open the "get darthdavid a woman" fund eh? FAVRIOTISM!!! This Is INTOLERABLE!!! I wanna get me a woman. Or at the very least an effemminate man.
darthdavid wrote:When do we open the "get darthdavid a woman" fund eh? FAVRIOTISM!!! This Is INTOLERABLE!!! I wanna get me a woman. Or at the very least an effemminate man.
Hmmm, have you been introduced to DPDarkPrimus? I hear he might be on the market.
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
darthdavid wrote:When do we open the "get darthdavid a woman" fund eh? FAVRIOTISM!!! This Is INTOLERABLE!!! I wanna get me a woman. Or at the very least an effemminate man.
Hmmm, have you been introduced to DPDarkPrimus? I hear he might be on the market.
Tsyroc: Don't make me sodomize you with an umbrella.
darthdavid: First come, first serve. Oh, and go ask koji.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest "Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
How bout a "bring some hot women down into the south" fund. There isn't a whole lot to choose from in the Memphis area...
"I once asked Rebecca to sing Happy Birthday to me during sex. That was funny, especially since I timed my thrusts to sync up with the words. And yes, it was my birthday." - Darth Wong
Leader of the SD.Net Gargoyle Clan | Spacebattles Firstone | Twitter
Neither of you are going to get any until you lose that whiny "why am I not getting any?" shpiel, stand up straight, puff your chest out, and be a man.
"I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark." - Muhammad Ali
"Dating is not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be a heart-pounding, stomach-wrenching, gut-churning exercise in pitting your fear of rejection and public humiliation against your desire to find a mate. Enjoy." - Darth Wong
In my brief :love tickling" experience. My fingers dried pretty quickly.
Is it normal to get a finger cramp during this stuff?
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
Gandalf wrote:In my brief :love tickling" experience. My fingers dried pretty quickly.
Is it normal to get a finger cramp during this stuff?
it's all in the technique and how long you go at it.
90+ minutes. Recovered quickly enough though.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
ahh, the smellyfinger. That was what i always used as the Cunnilingus-Gage-O-Cleanlinesstm.... much like the dipstic in the oil pan. it works as follows:
give 'er a good what have you with the fingers.
remove the aformentioned fingers.
Perform an act of subterfuge by giving her a playful hug.
while shielded from her prying eyes, take a moment to give Rosy Palm and her five friends a good sniff. If the smell is mild, go buck wild. if it assaults the nose, go find a hose.
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
Gandalf wrote:In my brief :love tickling" experience. My fingers dried pretty quickly.
Is it normal to get a finger cramp during this stuff?
it's all in the technique and how long you go at it.
90+ minutes. Recovered quickly enough though.
What happened? She fall asleep?
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
Jesus Fucking Christ dude, you actually had the patience for 90 minutes of fingering? I salute thee.
Fuck that, I salute the girl;
She could keep her sexual drive for that long.
Didn't get all sore down south!
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
The Yosemite Bear wrote:I was in my twenties before I got any.
Yeah, I was 20. I was not a happy camper being a 20 year old virgin
"I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark." - Muhammad Ali
"Dating is not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be a heart-pounding, stomach-wrenching, gut-churning exercise in pitting your fear of rejection and public humiliation against your desire to find a mate. Enjoy." - Darth Wong
darthdavid wrote:I'm not a noob, i'm underaged and i'm not getting any at all. Where the fuck does thatput me?
Legal.
Let him land on any Lyran world to taste firsthand the wrath of peace loving people thwarted by the myopic greed of a few miserly old farts- Katrina Steiner
Darth_Zod wrote:it's all in the technique and how long you go at it.
90+ minutes. Recovered quickly enough though.
What happened? She fall asleep?
No, silly. Blow-up dolls don't have to sleep!
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
Nothing spells hilarity like jokes about beating women, eh? You, sir, are a tool.
