Previously on LP: BARIS:
Bob Johnson sits in the cockpit of the simulation Mercury capsule. Even though it is not the real thing, he has a look of pure joy and a bit of awe as his fingertips brush along the switches and toggles.
Someone outside knocks and asks, very suggestively, "What're you doin' in there?"
Note: scene may have been cut from previous episode.
And now, the conclusion:
Johnson did not know who the menacing man in front of him was. They hadn't been introduced yet, which made sense as Bob had been at the cape for just about 24 hours. Obviously, some sort of authority figure, one who was about to express his authority. The bare gray-walled room with only the one small chair under a light bulb reinforced that view.
It was possible that the man didn't exactly know who Bob was either, because he did not start with "Captain Johnson" or "Mr. Johnson" or even "Johnson." He simply started talking.
"Do you know why you're here?"
Such a familiar tone of voice. It could only mean one thing:
they had discovered his box of prophylactics. But how?
"I do indeed, sir, and I assure you, it is for disease prevention purposes."
The man paused only briefly. "Do you think you're some sort of a funny man?" he asked.
"Sir! I was always told that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! It has saved the Murcan government millions in medical costs for its troops over the years! Sir!"
The two watched each other. The menacing man apparently decided that whatever it was that Bob was babbling about, it had nothing to do with the topic on hand (but probably needed to be investigated later). "I am referring to the break-in into the capsule simulation room last night."
Johnson was shocked. "There was a break-in, sir?" He was horrified by the thought that they might have let someone in. Didn't they lock up the place afterward?
"The break-in that
you new trainees performed!"
"OH! Yes sir, that."
"We have witne..." the menacing man trailed off and glowered. Bob couldn't tell if it was because he had just nullified a long practiced speech of the line of evidence proving Johnson's presence there, but he suspected that was partly involved. "So you admit it!"
"Yes sir. I was so eager to see the simulators. Very eager. This is the greatest honor of my life, sir, coming here."
"How did you get in there? You don't have clearance yet!"
"...someone let me in."
"Who?"
Darn you, Rex. Darn you to heck. "I...don't know sir. A man."
"Do you know who this man was? His name?"
"I don't remember, sir."
"Would you be able to recognize his face if you were given a set of pictures?"
"No sir. I am terrible with faces."
Since this track wasn't working too well, the menacing man switched to another.
"There are very sophisticated and
expensive computers in that room, very sensitive to disturbances like your juvenile behaviors last night! You caused a whole day's worth of delays there! Do you know anything about computers at all?"
What Bob Johnson knows about computers: They are called 'computers.'
He knew
of the new field of computing, that it was there and they worked on machines that seemed half-magical and destined to take over the world in a bloody and terrible uprising, leaving the only surviving humans as a slave race useful only for amusement and suicide missions. Bob had excelled in school, graduated with highest honors in aeronautical engineering (which was no small feat), but somehow the entire concept of 'computers' mystified him. There had been those circuits he made in those intro Electrical Engineering courses (Shocks for Jocks!) but how one went from blinking bulbs and wires to thinking machines that would rule them all...
The menacing man apparently took the long pause as a sign that Johnson did not, in fact, know anything about computers. He took it upon himself, in a ten minute lecture, to explain every single way that Bob's actions had apparently screwed up the very powerful and complex computers that ran their simulations and capsules and how terrible it all was and what the consequences were.
What Bob Johnson now knows about computers: They are called 'computers' and they are strange.
The man screamed, "DID YOU LISTEN TO ANYTHING I JUST SAID?"
"I think so, sir. So you're saying, if I hit a switch, but then put it back, that did something?"
"YES, YOU CHILDISH IMBECILE!"
"I didn't reverse it by putting it back the way it was before?"
"NO!"
"Oh.
Sorry, sir."
"Sorry will not bring back our lost day of training!"
"Then, as my punishment for wrongdoing, I recommend that I be forced into additional training over and beyond the normal training especially in the usage of computers." Johnson received a hateful stare back. "You see, sir, I will be too tired to get into antics after that and would have no time to do them even if I had the energy." He met the stare; Bob decided not to blink.
Thirty seconds passed. Finally, the menacing man said, "You are dismissed for now, Johnson, but know this: we will be watching you and your cohort
very carefully. Future indiscretions will not be tolerated."
"I understand, sir," said Bob Johnson, and he made his escape at a fast walking pace.