How Stravo Got His Groove Back

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-05-16 02:11pm

Hehe, nice.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-05-16 09:19pm

Muhahaha....

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-05-16 09:46pm

CYRAN: Why us? How do we always get into these situations?

IGGY: Guess someone upstairs loves us.

Hehe..

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-05-17 01:37am

Hehehe.. Nice one, Iggy!

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-17 11:57am

Sweet.

And Mark, you most certainly aren't a nobody.

Now give us more Manifest Destiny.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-05-17 07:13pm

Singular Quartet wrote:Sweet.

And Mark, you most certainly aren't a nobody.

Now give us more Manifest Destiny.

Hey, if you can be a nobody, so can I.

Now let's close this addition of Thread Hijack Theater and Ig can give us some more of the fun stuff.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-17 07:19pm

Mark S wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:Sweet.

And Mark, you most certainly aren't a nobody.

Now give us more Manifest Destiny.
Hey, if you can be a nobody, so can I. Now let's close this addition of Thread Hijack Theater and Ig can give us some more of the fun stuff.

You can't be a nobody Mark. You write Manifest Destiny. When you have a fanfic that's stickie dto the top of the forum, you lose all such privilages.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-18 01:28pm

Pcm979 wrote:
CYRAN: Why us? How do we always get into these situations?

IGGY: Guess someone upstairs loves us.
Hehe..

That one was good, liked this line too.

CYRAN: *strained* I've just been thrown into a brick wall by a giant green moderator. What do you think?

Iggy, this is a good story to lighten up bad days.

It's great.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-20 01:10pm

I apologize for a lack of creative humor in this chapter. I couldn't get it to go smoothly, even though I rewrote it four times. In the end, I decided that this was the best result I'd get. Enjoy.

PART 9: Rob Smash Rumble, Pt 2

*fade in on the street. KUJA and SMASH face each other. CYRAN is digging through his bag. STRAVO and ZAIA are off to one side, watching. SMASH steps forward*

SMASH: ROB SMASH!

KUJA: I'll show you!

*they leap at each other. SMASH throws a punch, while KUJA swings his sledgehammer. The hammer hits SMASH'S hand. SMASH yelps and grabs his knuckles while KUJA drops his hammer and begins blowing on his fingers*

KUJA: Yeowch! Cyran, what's the story?

*CYRAN is reading from a manual. Various spare parts are scattered around him*

CYRAN: To loosen lock nut...

*SMASH begins to stomp towards KUJA. KUJA turns to run, but trips and falls on his face. SMASH grabs KUJA by the ankles and begins slamming him into the pavement over and over*

KUJA: Oh-god-the-pain-hurry-up-Cy-ran!

*CYRAN is in the process of assembling a massive tripod-mounted cannon*

CYRAN: Almost there. Just keep him busy!

*KUJA somehow gets free and begins leading SMASH around in circles*

KUJA: Oh, sure! No problem! I can handle this guy!

SMASH: Stand still and let Rob smash you!

KUJA: Not a snowball's chance in hell!

*CYRAN finishes assembling the cannon and stuffs a feeder tube into the bag*

CYRAN: OK! Lead him this way!

*KUJA runs straight towards CYRAN, SMASH following. CYRAN aims carefully and pulls the trigger. A white object is launched from the cannon, zips over KUJA'S head, and flies right into SMASH'S mouth. SMASH stops running, chews thoughtfully, then smiles*

SMASH: Sugar-coated.

*KUJA skids to a stop next to CYRAN*

KUJA: Open fire!

CYRAN: Yee-ha!

*CYRAN presses down the trigger and the donut cannon begins firing a rapid stream of various donut types. SMASH begins chomping them in midair, each donut pushing him back a step. SMASH is forced farther and farther back, growing smaller with each step. Slowly, he is transformed back into DALTON. CYRAN ceases fire and admires his handiwork. DALTON smiles contentedly and pats his stomach*

DALTON: Mmmmm, donuts.

KUJA: Happy?

DALTON: Quite.

CYRAN: Woohoo! We beat Rob Smash! Nothing can stop the Black Mages!

*CYRAN and KUJA do the BM dance while DALTON grabs another set of clothes and puts them on*

ZAIA: Looks like I win. Twenty bucks, please!

STRAVO: Dammit. I really thought Rob would win.

KUJA: Zaia, you rule!

*KUJA rushes towards ZAIA, his arms out for a hug. ZAIA brings her arm up, then decks KUJA and knocks him flat just as he reaches her*

KUJA: Oooooowwwwwwww...

ZAIA: Don't take it personally. I just happened to be betting on you, that's all.

KUJA: What happened to the sweet redhead I thought I knew?

ZAIA: You blew up the side of her house.

*KUJA groans*

CYRAN: Can I have a hug?

ZAIA: Sure!

*KUJA makes a noise of exasperation as he climbs to his feet. He looks at STRAVO, who shrugs and looks away. KUJA beings trembling with rage*

KUJA: *growls* Cyran, you have just earned my lifelong hatred. Someday, when you least expect it-

*ZAIA releases CYRAN and he walks over to KUJA*

CYRAN: Zaia's nice, isn't she?

KUJA: Yeah. Sure. *under his breath* I will kill you, and then I will eat you…with some chicken from KFC!

*DALTON suddenly comes up behind KUJA and crushes him in a bear hug*

DALTON: Thanks for the donuts!

KUJA: ACK! ROB, I CAN'T BREATHE! YOU'RE CRUSHING MY RIBS!

*DALTON releases KUJA, who falls to the ground. STRAVO checks his watch*

STRAVO: Come on, you guys, or we'll end up being late.

DALTON: Catch ya later!

ZAIA, STRAVO, AND CYRAN: Bye!

ZAIA: Kuja, say goodbye!

*KUJA remains silent. ZAIA glares at him and makes a clawing gesture*

KUJA: *growls* Bye.

*fade out*

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-05-20 01:13pm

FIRST POST!!! [reads]

[EDIT] NOt a bad job, Iggy! I liked it

However, I can see what you mean by it not running as smooth as you wished it to.. Sometimes things written in polay form are harder to write like that.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-20 01:18pm

*wipes tears from laughing so hard* Poor Iggy.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-05-20 02:32pm

Fear the Donut cannon! Hehe, loved it.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-05-20 03:05pm

Reminds me of the episode when Homer gets a conveyer of donuts......yuummy..~Jason

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-20 03:51pm

ROTF

Ohhh, Ig, I thought it was great. Although I would never, EVER punch you in the face when you wanted a hug. Not even if you blew up the side of my house.

At least, I don't think I would....

Seriously, excellent work.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-20 07:26pm

Not as good? I think this is one of the better chapters.

I loved the donut cannon (ph34r my l33t skillz).

You got the BM dance in there, awesome.

I got a hug from Zaia, yay.

You got squished by Dalton, that was some good lines, along with the threatening of my life.

It did seem a bit...short, no doubt from the fact that you were having trouble with this chapter.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-05-20 08:11pm

You should have a verilon in there randomly going around biting people and giving them verilonitis.

:P Just a suggestion.. hehehe

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-20 08:21pm

verilon wrote:You should have a verilon in there randomly going around biting people and giving them verilonitis. :P Just a suggestion.. hehehe

You forgetting that I am in this Ver?

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-20 08:46pm

Mmm...Donuts...

Funny as always I see.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-05-20 10:21pm

*belch*

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-22 01:19pm

A long chapter, but I think you'll like it.

INTERLUDE: Continuity? What's That?

*fade in*

STRAVO: Hey, what the hell?

ZAIA: Where'd everything go!

DALTON: Hey, where's my car?

CYRAN: Yaaa! What happened to New York?

KUJA: Holy shit, what is this?

STRAVO: Does anyone know what's going on?

DALTON: Don't look at me!

CYRAN: Where are we?

KUJA: Looks like a big black void to me.

ZAIA: Don't be a smartass, this is serious.

KUJA: *growl*

STRAVO: All right, how did we end up here? More importantly, how do we get back?

KUJA: We can't.

ALL OTHERS: WHAT?

KUJA: Or at least, we can't do anything personally to get back.

KELLY ANTILLES: Hey, what's going on?

ZAIA: Kelly, is that you?

KELLY: Yeah, it's me. Where the hell are we?

DALTON: That's what we've been trying to figure out.

KELLY: Any luck?

CYRAN: Nope. We've just been yelling at each other.

KELLY: Typical.

STRAVO: Cyran, why don't you shut your mouth and let me think?

CYRAN: Oh, I wouldn't want to interrupt THAT, would I?

STRAVO: Come a little closer and say that.

CYRAN: Yeah right! What do you think I am, stupid?

STRAVO: Yeah!

CYRAN: Asshole!

DALTON: Will you two cut it out?

BOTH: NO!

ZAIA: Look, can we just calm down a bit and figure out where we are?

KUJA: I already told you.

ZAIA: No you didn't.

KUJA: Yes I did.

KELLY: Then repeat it.

KUJA: Fine. *a beat* We are in a place I like to call Limbo. Whenever I, that is, the real me, stop writing, all my characters and thoughts go into Limbo. They stay there until I start the story back up, at which point they all return to their normal universes.

STRAVO: So that's why we're here? You're not working on the story?

KUJA: Basically.

CYRAN: Lazy bastard.

DALTON: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

KUJA: No it's not.

DALTON: Yes it is. Limbo? A place for characters not being written or some gibberish? That's crazy.

KUJA: No it's not. You do it too.

DALTON: I do?

KUJA: Yep. Everyone does. Most characters don't remember it because when they return to their normal universes, it's like it never happened at all.

ZAIA: Wait a minute. If we're all characters from the story, then what's Kelly doing here?

KELLY: Yeah, what am I doing here?

KUJA: How should I know? I'm not me. Well, I am, but not in that sense.

*silence*

CYRAN: I hate you, KUJA.

KUJA: You can't hate me!

CYRAN: Why?

KUJA: Because I hate you! I'm the one holding the grudge here, remember?

CYRAN: Oh yeah.

KELLY: Why on Earth are you holding a grudge?

CYRAN: Because Zaia hugs me and not Kuja.

KUJA: *growl*

KELLY: *coldly* Oh. I see.

KUJA: It's only because you're not there, Kelly! If you were there, I wouldn't be worried about Zaia?

ZAIA: *coldly* Oh really?

KUJA: No! I mean, I like you too, Zaia, a lot, and-

KELLY: Oh, a lot, huh?

KUJA: No!

ZAIA: You don't?

KUJA: ACK! I can't flirt with two women at once!

DALTON: *to STRAVO* should we step in?

STRAVO: Nah, it's more fun to stand by and watch him flounder.

DALTON: Good point.

CYRAN: Ha! Now both of them hate you!

KUJA: Shut your trap!

CYRAN: Wanna make me, metalhead?

*KUJA begins trembling with rage*

KELLY: *to ZAIA* Hug him, will you? It'll be hell for all of us if you don't!

ZAIA: Oh, fine.

*ZAIA hugs KUJA*

KUJA: Yay!

CYRAN: Now that we're all happy again, *pulls a guitar out of his traveling bag* who's up for a round of Kum-by-a?

*group piles on CYRAN, and a cloud of smoke eclipses the severe beating he receives. When the smoke clears, his clothes are torn and rumpled and his guitar has been broken over his head*

CYRAN: *dreamily* Lookit the purty stars…

KELLY: Hey Kuja, if you're not working on the story, shouldn't you make a public service announcement or something? People are waiting, after all.

KUJA: Right. *clears throat* I'm sorry, everyone, but due to the presence of a skewered llama in my neighbor's backyard, I have been unable to work on this story.

*silence*

ZAIA: A skewered llama?

KUJA: Hey, it's as good a reason as any.

*more silence*

STRAVO: You are one royally fucked-up person, you know that?

KUJA: That's what the doctors say. Only they use a lot more syllables.

*fade out*

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-22 01:23pm

*thwaps Iggy* Does that mean you're not working on ANY story???

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-22 01:24pm

*wince* No!

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-22 01:28pm

*hugs* Oh, okay.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-22 02:57pm

ROTFLMAO....

Oh my. Good times. Good, good times.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-05-22 03:04pm

Aya: *Floats by on a raft, with Davy Crockett, Huck Finn and a dancing monkey wearing a top hat. Waves at the others*

Iggy: Hey, what are you doing here?

Aya: Same reason as you, except when I stop thinking, I come here.

Kelly: So, do you come here often?

Aya: Enough times to build up alot of frequent flyer miles and cottage.

-----------------------------

Hehe, couldn't resist.