Minischoles wrote:A freaking elemental shaman, a class with absolutely 0 use for spirit of any kind, and yet he rolled on them for his DPS gear. Things like that really lead me to question how people can get to 80 and still not know their goddamned class.
That's the best you've got? That's
honestly the best story you've got? That's nothing.
Sit down in that chair, son. I've got a story for you. *lights a pipe*
My paladin is 80 now, prot-spec and I tank a couple heroics a day, but back when this takes place, I was still 78 and ret, but I still tanked quite often because I knew how to do it and I was diligent with picking up tanking gear as I went. (Never without a real tank's permission to roll, mind you.)
So one day, I was asked to come tank a Gundrak run by a hunter guildie of mine. I said sure, since I had a couple quests for it. He invited me to group with a pair of deathknights. As I recall, one was 77 and the other 76. I'll withhold names to protect the stupid, but for the purposes of thise story I'll call them, oh, Tweedledum and Tweedledee. So me, my hunter friend, and the Tweedles snag a priest - also from my guild - to come heal. She's shadow, (still is) but she's a pretty good healer. Also, on the way to the stone, I warn folks that I'm ret-tanking, not actually prot.
So, the run begins with Tweedledum leaping down the first ramp and aggroing a snake patrol. Oh, Jesus. Then, instead of running to the tank like anyone with an ounce of competence, he goes baying back up the ramp with the snakes chasing him. As a result, our priest loses LoS and both he and I die. Great start.
We dust ourselves off and start pulling, going a bit slow but steady. We kill snake boss, move into the golem room, kill him with a bit of trouble (damn that surge) and then continue on into the cave with the four-troll pulls. Now, normally, I don't bother with cc, but since I'm ret and my healer is shadow, I decide to err on the side of caution. I mark a skull, an x, and the classic hunter-trap square. Simple, right? Well, the moment I pull, one of the Tweedles (never did find out which) throws down a death and decay.
Yeah, a death and decay. One of their highest-threat spells.
Naturally, aggro goes wild and three people die. I warn them not to do that again. We continue down the hall at glacial pace, and just as I start wondering why the hell we're going so slowly, Tweedledum spouts: "wtf hunter why u killin square get on skull"
Sigh.
My hunter and I kindly explain how trap works and one of the Tweedles (I forget which) replies "lol ur a tank why u bother w/trap u just tank evrything". To be frank, I should have kicked them out at that point, but they hadn't really harmed anything aside from being morons, so I let it slide.
Then we get to the arena with the two dire trolls. We pull them and a pestilence squirts up over the balcony and pulls the remaining three observer trolls. Our two intrepid Tweedles panic and start runnign around everywhere, blood boiling and death gripping, frustrating my attempts to assert control and my hunter's attempt to trap. I forget how many people die this time.
We kill the remaining boss and run back to the bridge leading to the final few pulls. On the way, our hunter has to go afk for a second, so we wait. As we do, I see Tweedledum go into blood presence, then frost presence. He stays in frost.
You know, the tanking stance for deathknights.
Now, this is something I'd been suspecting of him for awhile now, because his aggro was all out of porportion to the damage he'd been doing. We did the bridge pull and, natually, he pulled aggro again. So I told him to get out of Frost. His reply? "no i live longr this way"
Kick.
Tweedledum: "wtf fuck you asshole"
Tweedledee: "wtf why u kick him"
Kick.
Natually, they go for the classic World of Warcraft Patented Dick Move: pulling the next bunch of mobs to wipe the group. Only they can't even get THAT right as I put divine intervention on our healer and the hunter feigns, which means that they're the only ones who end up paying a repair bill. Morons.
They follow this up with repeated nasty whispers to all three of us, incuding such gems as "haha u nub dont pay peple to lvl ur character" "hunter nub ur dps sucks" "I kept that group alive 3 times lol" until we sighed and put up ignores. We then pulled an enhancement shaman from guild and proceeded to four-man the last two rhino riders and the final boss.
Oh, and by the way: one of the two Tweedles (I forget which, again) failed to out-dps our hunter's pet wolf. The oher one was strugging to stay above said wolf. At the time of the group kicks, I had done 300,000 more damage than either of them in my tanking gear.
*empties the ash out of his pipe*
Now THAT, son, is a nublet story.