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Astinius is notlike the other elves. He does not revel in giant orgies like they do... No, he HATES such revelries. He has had many bad experiences that he would rather not talk about, and as a result has become very bitter and hates physical contact that is any more than a handshake, or maybe a hug if he REALLY tolerates(maybe likes) the person. He is cynical, and devotes his life to learning how to use magic. Magic take the place of any actual relationship he may have and he loves it with all his being.

In light of this, can he have a few spells from Encyclopedia Arcane: Nymphology? Tormenting opponents with the sex they usually love would be... perfect.

I want t be able to use these...

Alter Breasts
Transmutation
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.
Components: V, S.
Casting Time: 1 action.
Range: Touch.
Targets: Creature touched.
Duration: 30 minutes/level.
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (harmless).
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless).
Cast either on yourself or on others this spell can
confer upon the recipient of its magical effect either
‘fried eggs’ or ‘big wobbly fun bags’.
Anything from a Double-D down to an A-cup can be
given regardless of the gender of the target. This
allows the latest fashions to be worn whether buxom
or svelte is in season and allows a woman to appeal
to a breast man in spite of what fate has gifted her
with. In an age of snaggle-toothed crones and
muscular, hairy peasant women a male mage who
casts this spell upon himself can make a very
convincing woman as well as giving himself
something to play with on long winter evenings.

Change Sex(AKA Gender Bending)
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 3.
Components: V, S, M.
Casting Time: 1 action.
Range: Touch.
Targets: Creature touched.
Duration: 30 minutes/level.
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates.
Spell Resistance: Yes.
A few magic words, a waving of hands and the
swallowing of a small dried frog and zap, you are a
beautiful woman or hunky man, at least in theory.
This spell enables you to transmute to any gender,
be it male, female, fully functional hermaphrodite or
a fair representation of any weird third or fourth
sexes a humanoid species might have.
This spell is often used for disguise or to curse others
for a short time. Others use it to test whether they
really would have been better off as the opposite
gender and to experience the wonders of the penis or
the female orgasm.
Many are totally unprepared for the hormonal
changes involved in such a drastic bodily alteration
and women changing to men can turn into frenzied
rampaging beasts seeking to pork anything in sight,
while men changing to women can turn into frenzied
rampaging beasts seeking chocolate with ferocious
intensity.
Arcane Material Component: A small dried frog.

If the DM says yes to that I'm leaving.

Tormenting opponents with the sex they usually love would be... perfect.

No, it would turn an otherwise fun game into ENTIRLY THE WRONG KIND of roleplaying.

and lazerus, how would you feel about owning a few slaves?

He's disgusted with the entire concept and would go out of his way to ensure that any slave's are set free, and any slave-traders die a slow, painfull death.

lazerus wrote:If the DM says yes to that I'm leaving.

Tormenting opponents with the sex they usually love would be... perfect.

No, it would turn an otherwise fun game into ENTIRLY THE WRONG KIND of roleplaying.

Bah you are so prude... It woud go along with his sense of humor, imagine a king, hated by his populace giving a speech telling them they are going to war, and all of the sudden he grows a HUGE set of tits.

I probably would never use them, but if the situation became perfect and if I had them pre-preped, they could make for some good roleplaying.

Or, in a patriarchal society, Gender bending could be usefull... If I change the landlord or whatever into the land lady, they lose property rights etc etc etc.

imagine a king, hated by his populace giving a speech telling them they are going to war, and all of the sudden he grows a HUGE set of tits.

That would be funny........as a one shot gag. I really, truely doubt that you would use it for that.

I probably would never use them

Oh, i'm sorry, my lie detector just exploded.

but if the situation became perfect

Defined as "I have them memorized and there is a target nearby."

and if I had them pre-preped, they could make for some good roleplaying.

Or they could make for some perverted roleplaying you twisted.......

Bah you are so prude...

So I"m a "prude" for trying to draw the line between a game I like and your sick ********. If you want that, go surf the net for a chat room with XXX in it's name.

Gender bending could be usefull... If I change the landlord or whatever into the land lady, they lose property rights etc etc etc.

Polymorph other works just fine for that.

I withdraw my request for Power Word Orgasm and Night visitor as well as Vinegar strokes... those are a little too wrong.

eh.......fine. If it's only those two............sure I"ll stay.

But I still urge the DM to say no.

Lazerus and I have reached an agreement on the blue magic.

Character.

He's all but finished, I just need some help from someone in scaling up the animal companion...it's not something I've attempted before

Alyrium Denryle wrote:

Astinius is notlike the other elves. He does not revel in giant orgies like they do... No, he HATES such revelries. He has had many bad experiences that he would rather not talk about, and as a result has become very bitter and hates physical contact that is any more than a handshake, or maybe a hug if he REALLY tolerates(maybe likes) the person. He is cynical, and devotes his life to learning how to use magic. Magic take the place of any actual relationship he may have and he loves it with all his being.

In light of this, can he have a few spells from Encyclopedia Arcane: Nymphology? Tormenting opponents with the sex they usually love would be... perfect. *snip*

NO.
This is not going to be a sex/rape game. This is NOT going to be a game where you mindlessly polymorph peasants into frogs and termites, or hurl fireballs at sheep, or stab children for no reason. I'm allowing evil, but EVIL WITH A PURPOSE, not mindless slaughtering and polymorphing.
Infact, if you REALLY want to do that, do it ingame. Then don't come crying when some wizard's/paladin's guild cracks down on you with a dozen 20th level NPCs.
I realize you were only talking about a few little sex-changing spells, but these things can quickly get out of hand, and I find such material unsuitable for my games. Understood?

what the DM says I must obey.

Alyrium Denryle wrote:what the DM says I must obey.

Sorry if I appear overbearing, but I've had some bad experiences with beserk players who did this kind of stuff. Taught me a good lesson. The above post was simply a warning to anyone who was going to attemp this stuff, not just you in particular.

Captain tycho wrote:

Alyrium Denryle wrote:what the DM says I must obey.

Sorry if I appear overbearing, but I've had some bad experiences with beserk players who did this kind of stuff. Taught me a good lesson. The above post was simply a warning to anyone who was going to attemp this stuff, not just you in particular.

Ah ok. I wouldnt have used the spells in that manner, dramatic or situational irony would be the only reasons I would use them.

A letch growing a set of boobs et al

Captain tycho wrote:

Alyrium Denryle wrote:what the DM says I must obey.

Sorry if I appear overbearing, but I've had some bad experiences with beserk players who did this kind of stuff. Taught me a good lesson. The above post was simply a warning to anyone who was going to attemp this stuff, not just you in particular.

I've had players go berserk on me before. I just run with it and have the local nobles, paladinic order, and/or wizard's guild do what they'd do anyway.

Rogue 9 wrote:

Captain tycho wrote:

Alyrium Denryle wrote:what the DM says I must obey.

Sorry if I appear overbearing, but I've had some bad experiences with beserk players who did this kind of stuff. Taught me a good lesson. The above post was simply a warning to anyone who was going to attemp this stuff, not just you in particular.

I've had players go berserk on me before. I just run with it and have the local nobles, paladinic order, and/or wizard's guild do what they'd do anyway.

Thing with the forgotten realms is, you can have some high level character, such as one of the Seven Sisters, warp/ride in and dispatch the beserk player easily, especially if this activity is taking place in the Dalelands or the Silver Marches.

Coaan is good to go..(hopefully) I'm a little unsure on the animal companion, so let me know if it seems messed up and I'll try rerolling it all again

char

Damn this should be fun.

I'm working up my special mount now. Once done with that I'm good to go. There's a slight issue with BAB and saves for the mount, but I'm consulting other experts in the field ([/Stewart mockery]) and should have it figured out before too long.

Rogue 9 wrote:I'm working up my special mount now. Once done with that I'm good to go. There's a slight issue with BAB and saves for the mount, but I'm consulting other experts in the field ([/Stewart mockery]) and should have it figured out before too long.

It was the same for the Dire wolf...it would have been nice if the rules could have stated which class to take the saves of...the bab was easier to work with though..

Yeah, but my mount's a griffon, which is a magical beast, and the paladin's mount template says that it retains the BAB, saves, and skill points of an animal. How can it retain something it never had in the first place? And the BAB values of animals and magical beasts are different. I need to know which one to use.

Rogue 9 wrote:Yeah, but my mount's a griffon, which is a magical beast, and the paladin's mount template says that it retains the BAB, saves, and skill points of an animal. How can it retain something it never had in the first place? And the BAB values of animals and magical beasts are different. I need to know which one to use.

You need the monster manual...no way around that one methinks without it

I have it. I'm looking at it. The problem is that the mount rules are poorly written.

Rogue 9 wrote:I have it. I'm looking at it. The problem is that the mount rules are poorly written.

As are the companion rules.

Hrm. Considering it is indeed a magical beast, you should mayhaps use that set of rules of it?...an idea might be to write up both onto a piece of paper and see what they turn out like

Tweaked the char(s) a bit more. At least now I have a halfway decent bodyguard
I don't have to create the Shadow companion, have I?