Cracked Cracks the Zombie Apocalypse

[Shroom Man 777]

God, that sounds just as bad as Marvel's mutites and metamutoids or whatever comic book crap is used to explain superpowers. You might as well chalk it up to evolution, wherein humanity is evolving into a species that is 100% death-proof.

The ultimate evolutionary defense! Evolving over death!

[Uncluttered]

It's not too bad; most of our genetic code is unused junk from when we were sea cucumbers and plankton. There doesn't have to be an immune response to it, it can just be deactivated until the meteorite or chemical (perhaps a new hydrocarbon formation in an oil deposit, as was one of my original ideas for the dissemination of the virus) activates it.

Great. Now I'm imagining a vegetarian zombie outbreak. They could eat people for the nitrates; but would prefer eating sewage.
They lie in the sun all day, catching rays for photosynthesis. I can imagine these zombies ideal habitat would be beach polluted with sewage. They might surf.

[Junghalli]

Plus, because the zombification is health based; you could theoretically 'unzombify' someone with a cocktail of antibiotics.

I think having zombification be potentially reverseable would be an interesting idea. Lots of things you could do with it.

Heck, imagine if every once in a while some zombie's immune system just spontaneously beats the infection and he spontaneously un-zombifies. Man, it'd suck to just wake up and find yourself standing in the middle of a groaning horde of zombies, possibly in the process of eating somebody's brains.

[Imperial528]

It's not too bad; most of our genetic code is unused junk from when we were sea cucumbers and plankton. There doesn't have to be an immune response to it, it can just be deactivated until the meteorite or chemical (perhaps a new hydrocarbon formation in an oil deposit, as was one of my original ideas for the dissemination of the virus) activates it.

Great. Now I'm imagining a vegetarian zombie outbreak. They could eat people for the nitrates; but would prefer eating sewage.
They lie in the sun all day, catching rays for photosynthesis. I can imagine these zombies ideal habitat would be beach polluted with sewage. They might surf.

Great, now I had the idea of using this for a type of sewage treatment plant for 3rd world countries that have above ground sewers.

[Thirdfain]

Hotfoot had this great idea for a Zombie Apocalypse story: A virus sort of like the 28 Days Later Virus hits; mass chaos, panic, total breakdown of society- it all happens. Millions starve, or get ripped to shreds, or what have you. But this virus has a little problem- after a few months, the immune systems of infected victims wear it down and it burns itself out. Imagine this: thousands of survivors, bloated on carrion and the flesh of their fellows, start to return to normal. Only those who had been most successful as "infected" are strong enough to survive. They return to sentience, starving and emaciated after denuding the countryside.

And they remember *everything* they've done.

[Junghalli]

Hotfoot had this great idea for a Zombie Apocalypse story: A virus sort of like the 28 Days Later Virus hits; mass chaos, panic, total breakdown of society- it all happens. Millions starve, or get ripped to shreds, or what have you. But this virus has a little problem- after a few months, the immune systems of infected victims wear it down and it burns itself out. Imagine this: thousands of survivors, bloated on carrion and the flesh of their fellows, start to return to normal. Only those who had been most successful as "infected" are strong enough to survive. They return to sentience, starving and emaciated after denuding the countryside.

And they remember *everything* they've done.

That would be awesome.

[weemadando]

I did some hacking about on a project that I'd called "Valencia". Viral infection with a long non-symptomatic period combined with the capacity to survive airborne for short periods in favourable conditions. And then people go feral. Not full rage-virus stuff, just imagination a reversion to a tribe of angry neolithic sorts. Is it a threat? Not really to anyone with half decent infrastructure. But for a few weeks the world would be a deeply unpleasant place to be.

[PainRack]

With regards to the "tanks are useless" bits, the real ire is with the Battle of Yonkers and the ineffective display of Bradleys against the Zombie horde. Again, a horde is just about the most stupid army you can use against the US army.


"tanks aren't used" is just pointing out that you're still going to be using armoured vehicles of some sort in anti zombie pacification missions as they give you mobility, protection, logistics and ammunition. Tanks and other armoured vehicles would be superior to unarmoured technicals by the virtue that you could easily set up base by simply circling the vehicles around. You probably adjust tactics in the sense that you won't dismount infantry but using fully armoured vehicles give you that ability. Something buses and jeeps won't.

Hey, at least in this scenario, the M113 "Gavin" finally has a use:D

[Simon_Jester]

The real question is whether the logistics burden is worth it, especially for a society fighting a large-scale war to clear its own territory of zombies after (somehow!) being overrun. APCs and tanks are better than infantry in technicals, and I never denied that, but there comes a point at which the qualitiative advantage stops being worth the cost when you're fighting mindless shambling corpses.

One thing Brooks did get more or less right, I think, was the way this could affect air support. The F-22 costs tens of thousands of dollars an hour to fly; is it worth it when other aircraft can perform the 'bomb truck' role just as well? For that matter, how many aircraft in the US arsenal are cost-effective in this scenario? Granted, the opposition will be a lot more obliging than humans about bunching up in areas where they can be bombed easily, but it's still a legitimate question.

The situation with ground vehicles isn't as bad, but the operating costs issue is still legitimate. How much does it cost to put a tank company in the field to fight zombies, and how much more damage will they do than an infantry company in technicals? Some, certainly, but given that the cost disparity is going to be something like two orders of magnitude, I'm really not sure whether it's sustainable.

[Vendetta]

The situation with ground vehicles isn't as bad, but the operating costs issue is still legitimate. How much does it cost to put a tank company in the field to fight zombies, and how much more damage will they do than an infantry company in technicals? Some, certainly, but given that the cost disparity is going to be something like two orders of magnitude, I'm really not sure whether it's sustainable.

A fully mechanised unit with bradleys and tanks is going to do orders of magnitude more damage than infantry in technicals. Firstly they have stabilised weapons systems, meaning that they're going to incapacitate a great deal more zombies per round expended and can stay on the move whilst they do (an MG strapped on the back of a hilux is going to hit fuck all, no problem if you want suppression, no use if you want zombie kibble), they have bigger guns, can carry more ammo (against a densely packed zombie horde a bushmaster is going to shred multiple targets per round simply by being a really big bullet going really fast), and when they're out of ammo they can extract in total safety by simply squashing anything that tries to stop them leaving.

It simply will be more cost effective to use armoured vehicles, they can stay in combat longer, more safely, and do more damage per vehicle whilst they're there.

[Shroom Man 777]

Also, the military's arsenal of Bradleys, the Abrams, the chariots and muskets and ballistae? They're already there. When deadites are running around eating brains and brownies, what's the USA gonna do? Is it going to sit on its ass and wait for weeks while its military buys hundreds of thousands of shitty SUVs and put machinegun mounts on them? Or is it going to react as soon as possible with the weapons it already has to quell the threat ASAP?

I dunno, a military reacting and going in with the weapon systems its got instead of sitting on its ass buying/building/designing new ones, may probably maybe perhaps quite possibly be a reasonable thing to expect. I dunno, maybe I'm just grasping in the dark, it's just a guess, since there are all sorts of other explanations that try to force shit to cock up and get zombos.

Come on, like I said, everyone just repeat all the randome altarnate realty hippotheticel scenareo altarnate histories you've all postulated but replace the word "zombie" with "mongoloid" and lets see how cool it seems like.

Catholic armageddon making electricity stop electricitificating and destroying all technology and making the dead rise and be superpowerful? Try and rephrase that so the Catholic armageddon makes electricity stop electrificating, destroying all technology, and making MONGOLOIDS rise up and become superpowerful! Hell, it makes more sense that way since if the Catholic armageddon makes electricity stop electrificating, that would apply to people's brains as well! That means the NEUROTYPICAL brains stop conducting NEUROELECTROTYPICAL brain signal menergies, thus turning people into MONGOLOIDS!

Sorry Oni. At least with the Catholic armageddon turning people into mongoloids and mental-handicaps, maybe they'll get more people to believe in god.

Space rocks fly overhead and mutate SOMETHING IN OUR GENES and make it like some dumbass Marveloid comicoid graphic noveloid cock up explanation for mutite metamutantoid superpoweroids? Why, why not postulate instead that people have RECESSIVE GENES that cause MONGOLOIDS (wait, they do already! am i rite?) and then the ASTEROID activates these and turns people into hyper-aggressive infective mental handicaps? It certainly works better than some gene that can bring the dead to life.

Sorry RyeShep.

Man, imagine. "Something in our genes" that "brings the dead back to life". Lol. Man, like, man. Genetic engineering, right? ENGINEERING MAJORS? Imagine instead of people bitching about designer babies, these genes that bring the dead back to life will instead make DESIGNER STILLBORNS! Haha! Designer dead babies! Designer abortions! Woah! Radical! Genetic! Holy fuck, suddenly when the Radioactive Meteor passes overhead, all the women with stillborns and all the women going abortions suddenly find ZOMBERS crawling in their wombs! Holy shit!

OH SHIT. IF the premise if your story IS something lame like "something in human DNA" creating the undead, why not combine that with Gattaca in an attempt to make zombies more respectable. THEN the attempt at making genetic designer babies goes WHORRIBLY WRONG and then there is an abortion, but the genetic superbaby RETURNS FROM THE DEAD and bites and claws its way out of the mother's uterus like a fucking xenomorph chestburster! RAAARGH!

This causes a designer baby consumer product recall, wherein the company terminates all its products and tries to get thousands of gestating genetically designed babies terminated/recalled/aborted, but this doesn't stop them since they all RETURN FROM THE DEAD! Kickstarting the UNDEAD BABY APOCALYPSE! Oh-fucking-yeah!

ANYWAY! Mongoloids are more scientifically plausible than walking corpses. So at least this will also appease the HARD SCI FI douchebags. Oh no! These mongoloids will have revolutionary CARBON BUCKYTUBULES for brains! Woah! Gigajoules per PSI per paleocubits! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Paleotypical! Yes! I mean, come on, Mongoloids are a revolutionary technology that will be extrapolated in the upcoming years! This is exactly what people do when they find the latest stupid news articles in Popular Science. Hell, man, to add sour to the cream we can even make this MONGOLOID APOCALYPSE caused by either an evil biotech company researching into cures for autism, or evil biotech companies that are making vaccines that not only cause autism but cause MONGOLOID APOCALYPSE!

Shit, I should use autism vaccine mongoloid fears and get those stupid conspiracy theory soccer moms to fund my movie project!

Oh fuck, then I can use REAL mongoloids and mental handicaps as extras to portray the MONGOLOIDS! Fuck, man. I am a fucking genius! GEORGE A. SHROOMERO!

It even has social commentary! Just like zombie movies in malls!

[Ryushikaze]

Hotfoot had this great idea for a Zombie Apocalypse story: A virus sort of like the 28 Days Later Virus hits; mass chaos, panic, total breakdown of society- it all happens. Millions starve, or get ripped to shreds, or what have you. But this virus has a little problem- after a few months, the immune systems of infected victims wear it down and it burns itself out. Imagine this: thousands of survivors, bloated on carrion and the flesh of their fellows, start to return to normal. Only those who had been most successful as "infected" are strong enough to survive. They return to sentience, starving and emaciated after denuding the countryside.

And they remember *everything* they've done.

I had an idea for something along those lines, but A: A seasonal Virus and B: Living 'Zombies'. Creates a scenario where you're not really allowed to kill the Zombies (Grandma will be fine in a few weeks, Billie) for ethical reasons, but they still want to kill you. My scenario wound up far more comedic in the end than yours, but that might be because I hadn't considered 'they remember what they've done' aspect.

[lance]

You could add benefits to being a zombie, like coming out of zombie state a little bit younger/stronger or what ever leading to people using it like steroids.

[Sarevok]

Prototypes bio wank zombies were pretty convincing. They start as easily put down shamblers but eventually evolve into hulking creature that can take multiple tank shells to put down.

[Big Orange]

What the fuck are you on about?

In World War Z some military units and survivors used dogs as helpers and dachshunds were popular because they could carry stuff through the ruined urban areas.

[Oni Koneko Damien]

Come on, like I said, everyone just repeat all the randome altarnate realty hippotheticel scenareo altarnate histories you've all postulated but replace the word "zombie" with "mongoloid" and lets see how cool it seems like.

Why stop at zombies?

Mongoloid Park: Rich old geezer uncovers prehistoric mongoloid blood and injects it into frog eggs, resulting in mongoloids with big claws that can open doors and terrify paleontology-obsessed rich white kids!

Bladegoloid: Westley Snipes wears sunglasses at night and kills bloodsucking mongoloids with a tricked out katana!

The Mongoloids of Riddick: Vin Diesel, whose superpower is his boiling puddle of fury, battles Mongolmongers who attack planets and forcefully recruit others to their mongoloid army of the apocalypse.

Star Trek, Mongoloid Contact: Bio-mongoloids attack Earth, then go back in time and attack earth again, and it's up to Captain Picard (who's a cured mongoloid himself, thus has that level of empathetic understanding with true mongoloids) to stop them.

[Shroom Man 777]

You're the best, Oni.

[PainRack]

The real question is whether the logistics burden is worth it, especially for a society fighting a large-scale war to clear its own territory of zombies after (somehow!) being overrun. APCs and tanks are better than infantry in technicals, and I never denied that, but there comes a point at which the qualitiative advantage stops being worth the cost when you're fighting mindless shambling corpses.
The situation with ground vehicles isn't as bad, but the operating costs issue is still legitimate. How much does it cost to put a tank company in the field to fight zombies, and how much more damage will they do than an infantry company in technicals? Some, certainly, but given that the cost disparity is going to be something like two orders of magnitude, I'm really not sure whether it's sustainable.

Brooks tactics against them is to form up infantry squares, right? Guess what an armoured vehicle does? Its a square on its own. Best of all, when you bunker down to sleep, you don't need to dig in and maintain a watch, you can just........ go to sleep by locking your hatches. Keeping one or two soldiers awake to man the comns and keep watch every few vehicles would be a much more effective use of manpower than large infantry companies.

And unlike chain-linked buses and etc, armoured vehicles offer you the ability to shoot back without exposing yourself. Well, the M-113 aside. There are no firing ports on buses or jeeps and make-shift, armoured variants will be inferior to tanks and APCs.

One thing Brooks did get more or less right, I think, was the way this could affect air support. The F-22 costs tens of thousands of dollars an hour to fly; is it worth it when other aircraft can perform the 'bomb truck' role just as well? For that matter, how many aircraft in the US arsenal are cost-effective in this scenario? Granted, the opposition will be a lot more obliging than humans about bunching up in areas where they can be bombed easily, but it's still a legitimate question.

Probably helicopters and B-52s. You're still going to need airborne supply for units and helicopters provide both reconnaisance, attack and supply capabilities.
It depends on tactics though. We already know that various "strongholds" had a large zombie presence around them, attracted by the survivors. Apaches armed with chainguns and rocketpods will be highly effective against hordes. Similarly, ditto to the B-52. For areas which are simply too infested and unclaimable, such as the wrecked cities of China, area bombing would be effective, depending on whether you're using napalm or WP.

In lieu of that, you're still going to need helicopters to provide supply for forward elements, medevac and recon capabilities, unless the US retains UAV capabilities to provide scouts for their forces.

The interesting thing is, its probably going to be easier to supply and outfit such advanced units than equip and supply large, long lines of soldiers with rifles and comb through the area. The reality is that Brooks tactics would have embroiled the US in a large, long term reclaimation efforts, requiring intensive manpower as soldiers prowl through the area over and over again to kill Zeds. While maintaining a secure perimeter.

A intense sweep through an area, securing the perimeter and patrolling the area to mop up zeds could have been much easily accomplished if the various armies had used aircraft or UAVs. The real issue would be which front deserves such lavish expenditure of forces.

[Shroom Man 777]

Prototypes bio wank zombies were pretty convincing. They start as easily put down shamblers but eventually evolve into hulking creature that can take multiple tank shells to put down.

If I had bullshit biowank create a supermongoloid that can take multiple tank shells in the face, would THAT be convincing?

Oh wait, all I'd do is to paint him green and comic book fanboys will be going ooh and aaah about the latest Incredible Hulk movie.

[Rossum]

If I had bullshit biowank create a supermongoloid that can take multiple tank shells in the face, would THAT be convincing?

Its funny because this very sentance reminds me of the garbage that was in the Point Lookout expansion for Fallout 3. In the standard game there were radioactive feral ghouls (zombies) who were dang easy to kill and were basically decrepit half-naked lunatics who can apparenly survive for over 200 years in a wasteland until someone with a hunting rifle comes by and blows their head off.

But travel a down south a ways and you run into hideously malformed rednecks who apparently imbred themselves into being immune to bullets. The game gives them an automatic reduction to damage and a bonus to their attacks which means a fat slob waddling through the marshlands drinking moonshine made of irradiated water and battery acid can rip apart powered armored soldiers with a BB gun while laughing as a stream of 5mm mini-gun bullets bounce off his beer belly.

That and a cult of tribals who have a ritual where their local ferryboat captain saws open their head and removes a chunk of their brain. They get the same stupid damage reduction which means that repeated shotgun blasts to their head cause next to no damage.

So yeah, there is a precedent for super mongoloids to be more dangerous than zombies. It involves giving them easy access to firearms, destroying civilization, letting them inbreed with eachother in a radioactive environment for about 200 years and let them evolve an immunity to bullets (and grenades, and lasers, and chainsaws...).

[MKSheppard]

A fully mechanised unit with bradleys and tanks is going to do orders of magnitude more damage than infantry in technicals. Firstly they have stabilised weapons systems, meaning that they're going to incapacitate a great deal more zombies per round expended and can stay on the move whilst they do...

Don't forget the ability to fire while under armor. Sure, you can put a shitload of ammo onto a technical; but the gunner in the back is going to be completely exposed to zombie hordes grabbing at him from the truck bed.

Meanwhile, with an Abrams, you can pull out the ammo racks in the bustle to store more than the 10,000 "official" machine gun rounds. And because the coaxial is under armor; you can reload it from under armor; and the tanks armor making you immune to zombie horde attacks means you can just go:

"Hey boss, the coax is overheating again; what do we do?"

"No problem, just wait five minutes to let it cool down and then start shooting again."

Same thing would apply to a Bradley; but the bradley would also have the advantage of the 25mm chaingun being more useful against a zombie hoard than a 120mm gun.

Optimal anti-zombie vehiles? Hell no -- with zombies, you could get by with a 30 ton vehicle instead of a 50-70 ton vehicle.

But as others pointed out earlier -- the Abrams/Brad are available *now* and we have a huge stockpile of them -- 3,200 original 105mm Abrams were built and 4,800 of the 120mm and later models were also built.

Right now; only a small fraction of the 8,000 are actually in service; but they can be pulled from storage depots and reactivicated in less time than it would take to prototype and build a 30 ton anti zombie tank.

Painrack also made a very excellent point -- a tank company can pull into a laager for the night and turn off their engines and lock the hatches and they're immune to zombies.

A Bradley would more ideal for this kind of long term under armor stuff; as you could then put a chemical toilet into the infantry compartment and extra ammo; so that a bradley gunner or what doesn't have to go outside to take a shit and be zombied by someone biting his ass.

The best part is that even if the vehicle breaks down; so what? Just have the people sit around and read novels in the tank until a Recovery and Sanitization unit shows up to set up a perimeter so that engineers can attach tow lines to the dead tank and tow it back to base.

[adam_grif]

How would a lighter vehicle like a Stryker fare? Does the US have any of those in reserve in the States as opposed to deployed overseas?

[Simon_Jester]

Brooks tactics against them is to form up infantry squares, right? Guess what an armoured vehicle does? Its a square on its own. Best of all, when you bunker down to sleep, you don't need to dig in and maintain a watch, you can just........ go to sleep by locking your hatches. Keeping one or two soldiers awake to man the comns and keep watch every few vehicles would be a much more effective use of manpower than large infantry companies.

The real question is whether manpower is the thing at a premium here. If it is, if you have plenty of industrial resources per capita. Especially the kind of heavy machinery that goes into maintaining armored vehicles, and the extensive petrochemical industry that fuels them.

If putting fifty men in the field and their logistics tail is more expensive than putting five men in a tank and their logistics tail, then yes, the tank/armored vehicle/whatever wins. Yes, tactically one tank is better than one armored bus, and vastly better than one jeep. One tank is immune to an infinite number of zombies no matter where they are; one technical and its crew is not.

But at some point I have to ask: why is your tank sitting in the middle of a pile of zombies? It moves about thirty to fifty times faster than the zombies. If you have a secure perimeter anywhere, why are you charging armored vehicles into the middle of zombie hordes and saying "Ah-ha, a technical would be screwed here!" Why aren't you riddling them with bullets from a hundred yards away and then pulling back, when it's trivially easy to draw zombies after you and out into open country? Granted, in close terrain or urban environments that won't work... but in urban environments, the tanks won't be able to do anything but motor up and down the streets wondering how many zombies are wandering around inside the buildings in any case?

The interesting thing is, its probably going to be easier to supply and outfit such advanced units than equip and supply large, long lines of soldiers with rifles and comb through the area. The reality is that Brooks tactics would have embroiled the US in a large, long term reclaimation efforts, requiring intensive manpower as soldiers prowl through the area over and over again to kill Zeds. While maintaining a secure perimeter.

A intense sweep through an area, securing the perimeter and patrolling the area to mop up zeds could have been much easily accomplished if the various armies had used aircraft or UAVs. The real issue would be which front deserves such lavish expenditure of forces.

Yes. Proper aerial spotting is good and important. I agree with that. What bothers me is the question of what the ground forces should look like; infantry would seem more appropriate than tanks, and the need to make them mobile enough to escape concentrations of zombies doesn't necessarily justify the exceptional cost of tracked armor.

I really do not know what the numbers look like here. But I think using tanks on account of their total immunity to zombies is solving the wrong problem: you can't put all your men under armor at all times. If you can't hold a secure perimeter on the strategic level (in which zombie attacks are rare enough and well-policed enough that the risk of a serious outbreak is negligible), it really doesn't make any difference how invincible your ground troops are; the home front will be falling apart. If you have a secure perimeter, then your goals revolve around clearing and holding infested ground and expanding that perimeter.

For this purpose, you cannot rely purely on heavy armor, and when confronting large zombie forces it makes more sense to carve them up over a few miles of open ground than to charge a tank into the middle of them and call in an artillery barrage on your own position while laughing at how your tank is shrapnel-proof and they aren't or whatever.

[adam_grif]

Jester, what kind of zombie situation would be as such that several thousand armored vehicles could not deal with it? Are you assuming that the entire country is already overrun entirely?

If you're dealing with whole cities totally infested with Zombies (extremely implausible save biowank), you can bomb them. Fuck the 30 survivors in a city of 100,000. Firebombs away! It'll burn itself out eventually.

If a city is significantly (<95% infected), then you can roll into the city, and anounce over loudspeaker that all humans should stay indoors until further notice. Then, you send up big flares and shit, get as much attention from zombies as you can, and gun them down as they come into the streets en masse. You know what 120mm canister shells from an Abrams does to tightly packed streets full of people?

After they're all redead, you broadcast that it's safer to come out now, and you get them to follow you in convoy outside the city to a makeshift quarantine zone.

This is the kind of stuff that can get done in one afternoon unless there are billions of zombies. Modern weapons are horrifically effective at mass slaughter in tiny spaces of time, the biggest bottleneck is how fast you can get the enemies to run in front of your guns.

If the infection drags on for weeks without an effective solution, then it will probably become appropriate to retire the tanks. After all the high concentrations of zombies are dealt with, then it's time to get mass firing squads of National Guardsmen or what have you.

[Rossum]

I had an idea for something along those lines, but A: A seasonal Virus and B: Living 'Zombies'. Creates a scenario where you're not really allowed to kill the Zombies (Grandma will be fine in a few weeks, Billie) for ethical reasons, but they still want to kill you. My scenario wound up far more comedic in the end than yours, but that might be because I hadn't considered 'they remember what they've done' aspect.

Hey, maybe the zombie virus is like chicken pox where everyone catches it but they only catch it once? Then when one kid at school gets it and collapses in a dead heap during gym class then his parents can pick him up and bring him home. Then they just handcuff him to his bed for a few weeks while feeding him cow brain soup until he gets better.

Oh, and then when one parents kid falls over dead and rises back up as a walking corpse hungry for human face meat then all the other parents come by and decide to have their kids have a big sleepover so they get their kids infected now to get it over with! Imagine, one kid turns into a mindless zombie and then all the parents in the neighborhood lock their own kids in a room with him so they can party. They'll play Hide and Seek and Tag you're it and Cowboys and Indians (though the parents might scold them if the kids just gang up and throw bedsheets over the zombie kid and tie him up so he can't bite them).

And this just keeps being done for generations (or whatever, maybe its just one or two generations of parents who are total moronic douchebags) until suddenly everyone with the zombie pox virus (read: everybody who had their retard parents lock them up in a room with a zombie kid when they were 9 years old) gets an outbreak again and goes on a rampage. Everyone knows that the zombie pox virus will go back after a while so they can't really kill all the shambling people trying to bite their faces off. But then again they can't just willingly get themselves infected and use up their sick days because somebody has to keep the wheels of society running while Zombie McCorpseface stumbles around on major freeways and inside peoples office buildings.

Hey, maybe it could be in a kids book where the child protagonist doesn't want to have a zombie pox party with the undead fat kid that eats spiders at recess. He spends the first chapter hiding from his retarded parents until suddenly a comet or something reactivates all the zombie pox and starts a zombie apocalypse! Watch as the kid builds a treehouse and sets up traps to keep his zombie parents away until they get better... and then he gets to invite all his friends to a Not-a-Zombie party where they eat candy and stay up late for three weeks while the army haul their parents off to laboratories to run tests on them and get them back to normal. And then the sequel sees our gang of kids go to the Child Services where they get sent off to kind loving families... who are werewolves!


Oh, and as for mongloid movies:

Mongolight: A young impressionable high school girl meets a hot boy who turns out to be a 300 year old mongoloid. He wants to drink her blood and she things that blood drinking mongoloids are totally hot!

Mongolight Full Hairoon: Said young impressionable high school girl soon discovers that there is a tribe of really hairy mongoloid boys in the area who don't like to wear clothes. This leads to hilarious (and hot) tension between the leader of the hairy mongoloids and her 300 year old mongoloid boyfriend. There might also be some evil mongoloids in the area doing stuff.

Mongol Potter and something else: A socially maladjusted kid is kept locked up in a cupboard under a staircase by his mean old Aunt and Uncle. That is until he learns that he's a magical mongoloid who should go to Mongoloid School. A really huge Hairy mongloid shows up and beats up his Aunt and Uncle to show them that hiding Mongoloids in cupboards is bad because Mongoloids naturally use magic to hide their existence from the natural world... er... Disapperate! Also, an undead evil mongoloid wants to kill Mongol Potter but can't because Mongol Potter is an expert at using other people as human shields!

GI Mongloid: An international team of super secret ops agents use really noisy and conspicuous equipment to try to stop the evil Cobra from using nanowank to turn Paris into Mongoloids. Also the bad guy has an army of mongoloids who are immune to snake venom (but not bullets) and secretly replaced the president of the United States with a mongoloid without anyone noticing!

The Mongolatrix: In a virtual world where everyone wears leather and sunglasses, a team of rebels must save some humans while killing innocent bystanders before the evil AI mongoloids can take over the virtual bodies of said bystanders to keep them from killing people. Also, one mongoloid AI can copy himself into lots of other people and turns the whole Mongolatrix into a Mongoloid Apocolypse!

Star Wars attack of the Mongoloids: The Galaxy is torn in a war between one side that uses robotic mongoloids and another side that uses a bunch of clone mongoloids that they never knew they had until the bounty hunter mongoloid they were all cloned from tries to kill a government official and leads the heroes to a planet full of said mongoloid clones! Who will win? Mongoloid robots or mongoloid clones?

Watchmongoloid: Superheroing was apparently a fad at one point. Watch as a big glowing blue mongoloid (created with science!) does absolutely nothing of importance other than excite the god fantasies of people while another guy uses technoababble to fake an attack from extradimentional mongoloids and hopefully stop the cold war while only killing a few million people! Also, all the heroes except for one are incompetent mongoloids that love moral ambiguity and the remaining one is f*(%ing insane!