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PeZook wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:*Adds Ampliturs onto the list of xenos to be reared for food...*

Dude...can't you just...raise crabs?

Enslaving a powerful psionic race to be used for food is asking for a horrible, horrible incident

A properly cooked Amplitur may taste more delicious than any Earth crab could ever hope to be. Or it may taste like utter shit. Only one way to find out!

And if you don't cook it properly, chances are it'll still make your night one you won't soon forget... Just not in the culinary way you might've expected .

PeZook wrote:Dude...can't you just...raise crabs?

Enslaving a powerful psionic race to be used for food is asking for a horrible, horrible incident

We will be sure to use plenty of psychic jammers when we raise these crabs. We will make sure they are inflicted with the jammers from the moment they hatch.

Should be interesting to see the aftermath of the Second Amplitur Wars if you decide to raise them for food.

Hey guys. Been trying to think up of a good post that would serve to announce the beginning of the Tournament, but I felt that with my current level of talent it would fall flat. So I was thinking of outsourcing it to someone else. I just want the Tournament to start the way it deserves. Thoughts?

CAN I? CAN I?

Even you, Shep. But only if you refrain from pullling a fast one on the first day. And by that, I mean no explosions (nuclear or otherwise), shootings or general mayhem. Plenty of time for those.

Shep, that was a performance worthy of SHROOM!

Shroom actually wanted it to be more than just one action figure. A whole ARMY! Like SMALL SOLDIERS. He also wanted the action figures to realize that they couldn't hurt RAPEWEED by themselves alone. But if they all got together and jumped into the bathtub at the same time, the little batteries in them would be enough to shock/electrocute RAEPWEED.

But that was a bit too SRZ BIZNESS for me

EDIT: You might be able to guess who Rapeweed Rosenberg is. A Shroomyized version of Willow Rosenberg from Buffy. Since after all, a willow and rapeweed are different types of grasses...

And as Steve said:

"You named a female character "Rapeweed"....You, sir, are a walking case of Refuge in Audacity."

And I show what a well-adjusted Esper thinks of the stunt.

Zor wrote:Duel as in two per hand Shroomy.

Zor

Dual is two, mang. Duel is, like, duel monsters or like "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL, FOUL CURR!" which Malcolm Reynolds/John Tamrin did over at planet Ariel.

I couldn't resist making the terrible pun though. That terrible THUMB WRESTLING FEDERATION show plays at Cartoon Network all the time and makes me crazies.

Shroom Man 777 wrote:

Zor wrote:Duel as in two per hand Shroomy.

Zor

Dual is two, mang. Duel is, like, duel monsters or like "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL, FOUL CURR!" which Malcolm Reynolds/John Tamrin did over at planet Ariel.

I couldn't resist making the terrible pun though. That terrible THUMB WRESTLING FEDERATION show plays at Cartoon Network all the time and makes me crazies.

Meh, its best to let Shrooms be Shrooms.

Zor

You mean "Shrooms be Shrooms", right?

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:

PeZook wrote:Dude...can't you just...raise crabs?

Enslaving a powerful psionic race to be used for food is asking for a horrible, horrible incident

We will be sure to use plenty of psychic jammers when we raise these crabs. We will make sure they are inflicted with the jammers from the moment they hatch.

[Reads in papers about Byzantine Imperium's inevitable trouble with Giant Enemy Crabs]

"Now, I won't say they shouldn't have played God. Playing God is a perfectly legitimate national pastime; we should know. What you shouldn't play is a silly God. "

Steve wrote:You mean "Shrooms be Shrooms", right?

No! He meant exactly what he said!

Zor said "Shrooms BY Shrooms," because he plans to clone a vast army of Shrooms, all of whom will have to obey proper traffic regulations or cause ten-Shroom pileups!

We could always genetically modify the ampliturs to remove their psychic abilities. The big question is whether they taste well on the dinner plate. Everything else is secondary.

Another response to Shep's provocation at the Esper Olympics is up.

Remember, kids, real programmers do it with a steady hand and a magnetized needle... or its psychic equivalent.

EDIT: Deepak Asthana may be one of the few Umerian athletes at the Esper Tournament with a decent chance of walking away with a medal for all I know...

So is this actual war, or Shroomnews jumping the... shark? Gun? Crab? Atomic deathray?

Master_Baerne wrote:So is this actual war, or Shroomnews jumping the... shark? Gun? Crab? Atomic deathray?

And war against who? The Amplitur? The Centrality? Espers in general?

Exactly.

This is a Shep approved post, btw.

Well, this makes things more interesting.

In order to avoid psionic dick-waving, I recommend a dice rolling protocol be used.

Well, the Shinra Republic's response is up.

...And my creativity level for this project has probably sunk to an all-time low. Even so, I still like the end result.

Hrm, this is curious. An Anglian note has also been delivered to Shepistan inquiring as to whom they've declared war on. SIS is speculating it is merely an internal measure against the Amplitur that could expand to a prolonged search-and-exterminate campaign against any remnant Amplitur.

You know, in the place of the Centrality's security forces I would be freaking out, too.

Seriously. Action figures?

Wait...they're BRAGULAN-MADE action figures...I'm sure they have a "throttle human children in their sleep" option programmed in