StarDestroyer.Net BBS

and put to rest the misery of life that the Dell Dude had known for 20 short years. Montalban quickly turned his attention to..

the bag of Taco Bell Gorditas he'd brought with him, and traded them for what was left of Captain Morgan's rum. This, however, did not sit well with Hunter S. Thompson's perpetually angry and drug-addled attorney, who had somehow survived the massacre, along with his client. The attorney picked up the corpse of a Hell's Angel and roared, "...

"You have broken my briefcase! You have broken my briefcase!" *The enraged attronery opened his case, and reviled an MP40 because he was going too Shep's parole hearing incase thigs went sour. Then his bag of sugar opened up which he thought was crack. He opened fire and...*

blew holy living crap out of every single piece of furniture in the place! Hunter S. Thompson looked up from the floor, cradling his mug of Budweiser thick with wood shavings, and snarled, "...

"You bastard!! That was my favourite Ottoman! I shall be avenged!" Just then, warriors from the Ottoman empire began to attack in retaliation for so many pieces of broken furniture, what they did was horrible they...

... proceeded to storm Levitz's headquarters, declaring that they would now control all the furniture in the world and that...

a pogrom would be enacted on IKEA. Needless to say, the Swedes weren't taking this on the chin and as a preemptive strike...

the Scandanvian people readied there poision meatball cannons; they were pointed at Ottoman Turkey. The Ottomans put in action a plan that would see shody furniture constructed in the West and would crumble upon touch. The Swedes were incensed!! They unleashed the Meatball ballista and wreaked havoc on the Ottomans. The Ottomans, were not easily defeated and they...

erected a theatre shield to stop the meatball onslaught. The Ottomans used the breathing room this brought them to bring in the only human who could bring them victory...

and he was known as Osama Bin..

Fanfic. He wrote stories of nuclear wars and terrorist attacks. He also wrote about romances formed and bonds made because of these tragedies...

that sickened him so. In fact, he scripted the entire battle between the Ottomans and the Swedes and everything else so far (No Homers, Wongites, Bikers, Combiner robots, Ooze, cheese, etc.). Everything that he wrote with his magic pen came to being. The latest chapter in the furniture wars was that...

IKEA scientists had created the Kopperssok - a terrible melding of robotic and textile technology capable of infiltrating any installation by disguising itself as a comfy chair with padded wooden handrails.
At an appropriate time, the Kopperssoks would rise up and kill their new "owners". They were vunerable to impacts from firearms, but could self-repair; soon they could be up again, and killing, and they would not stop until all enemies of the Swedes were brutally unpersoned.
But there was one thing IKEA had overlooked...

they had forgotten the fact, their enemy had already created a even more deadly melding of robotic and textile technology, the hoppersak, which is often a large sofa and which often slices apart their "owners".

soon, these machines are appearing as well but the IKEA....

that were obsessed with creating superhuman beings out of mere farm animals (the previously stated superpig being one of them, and Cartoon Network's SuperCow being another). The animals were continuously...

forced into gladitorial combat to the death in a crude wooden arena (made by one of the scientists' 8-year-old son with his Junior Craftsman set and Crayola stencils). SuperCapybara and SuperHammerheadShark were repeatedly champions, until the applecart was upset by the arrival of...

RadiO wrote:forced into gladitorial combat to the death in a crude wooden arena (made by one of the scientists' 8-year-old son with his Junior Craftsman set and Crayola stencils). SuperCapybara and SuperHammerheadShark were repeatedly champions, until the applecart was upset by the arrival of...

... Rosanne Bar.

Just then, one of the gladiator robots sliced the head off of Rosanne, killing her instantly so she could never again appear in public or appear in this story. The crowd started to chear, "Max-i-mus! Max-i-mus!" The gladiator robots were confused; in their feeble minds they heard...

Something else entirely. "Who the frig is Max Emus?" asked a bemused SuperCockroach. "You stupid tallywhacker," SuperSailfish snapped. "He's...

he said his will be our liberator and tore Supercockroach apart, soon fights are appearing all over the arena and blood soon filled the stadium, however......

the guns fell silent as Max Emus entered the arena. In a clever dramatic twist that even people not reading the story had seen coming, he was none other than the scientist that had created the SuperAnimals. It was just like The Secret of NIMH, but with miniguns and a bodycount running to the thousands.
But suddenly all hell broke loose, again, as...

someone from the audience demanded to know, "Is the Secret of NIMH... Nickel Metal Hydride?" Stunned silence followed, until...

a sleep deprived rabid monkey inserted itself into the discussion. Women screamed, children cried, all hell was breaking loose. Then, the super-animals came and...

ATE THE VERY LAST COOKIE! Well, that pissed everyone off, so in a fit of rage, they Pounced! And pounced again! Well, that left the Super-Animals very upset, as you can well imagine. They...

mewed, summoning the Evil. The Evil then proceeded to devour brains until Kiki and BunBun came with Trog and Riff and Zoe to...