A Thread for Stargate's Best Lines

[JME2]

Jack: Use two of those things.
Reynolds: Sir?
Jack: It's a "blast door"!
(hilarious, but given how C-4 is always less powerful in SG universe than real life, I suppose you would need two)

The way RDA delivered that bit always cracks me up whenever I watch "Reckoning.

[SCVN 2812]

Anubis' First Prime (who had been trounced by SG1 previously in some other episode) gloats at having captured SG-1.

O'Neill: "Ah Her'ak, failing upwards I see."

The phrase "failing upwards" has actually entered into my everyday speech. Sometimes its the only way to explain how people get the positions they get. I've uttered the phrase "big honkin' space guns" a few times too in conversation with friends.

Carter "We can't call it the Enterprise."
O'Neill "But who wants a ship named after a Greek tragedy?!"

[JME2]

Sheppard: Five bucks to anybody who can figure out how to contact the Daedalus.

Banks: (her console beeps) Uh, Colonel Sheppard?

Sheppard: Got an idea, Banks?

Banks: Well, no, but I am being hailed by the Daedalus on subspace. Does that count?

Sheppard: Technically that's not your idea, but good enough. Put ‘em on screen. I'll pay you later.

-- From "The Lost Tribe" --

[Chris OFarrell]

Several lines from 'Fallen' now also come to mind;

*After Carter finishes delivering the rather dubious sounding plan to a room full of SG Teams, the Tok'Ra, Generals and other people*
O'NEILL: "Okay. Everyone who thinks this is absolutely an insane idea, raise your hand".
*Most of the room raise their hands*
O'Neill: "Come on...be honest!"
*Everyone else including several Generals and the Tok'ra present all raise their hands...and Carter."

*And when Daniel and Jonas are on board Anubis's ship and Daniel has logged in*
DANIEL: "That's it. I'm in....uh, this may take more than a little while."
JONAS: "Well, can't you do some kind of a keyword search?"
DANIEL: "Yeah for what, Achilles?"

[Sheridan]

I still think the two-part episode where Anubis is trying to destroy Earth using the Ancient weapon to overclock the Stargate had a couple of wonderful ones.

When Carter and Jack are in the X-302 (303?) and running through the checklist prior to taking off (slightly paraphrased):

"...Autopilot?"
"Check."
"Inertial Dampers?"
<Pause>
"Cool. And, uh, check. Phasers?"
"Sorry, Sir..."


The scene where McKay is wondering why Anubis waited several hours before appearing in the gate room via hologram out loud to Carter:

"But, why wait? Why does this guy show up a day and a half after this all starts to do his whole 'prepare to meet your doom' thing?"

"I don't know, maybe he wanted to make sure it was gonna work."

"Yeah, that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? 'Nothing can stop the destruction that I bring down upon you!' And then the gate shuts down. 'Oops, sorry, never mind.'"

[Crazedwraith]

There's a bit later in the conversation I like as well

MacKay: We can send certain things through both ways, right? Like radio waves.

Carter: What? You want to call him?

MacKay: Yeah right. "Anubis this is your agent, you're playing it way over the top can you get serious please?"?

[Argosh]

In "Within the Serpent's Grasp".
TEAL'C: "If the coordinates are of a Goa'uld world, which is not on the Abydos, cartouche, the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful."

O'NEILL: "Surgical attack, Teal'c."

[Manus Celer Dei]

Jonas: Those of us who aren't originally from the planet Earth have got to stick together, right?
Teal'c: Are you suggesting an alien conspiracy?

[Imperial Overlord]

Jack: I just want it on record this is the wackiest plan we've ever had.
Carter: Wackier than blowing up a sun?
Jack: Wackier than that. [Walks away]
Carter: He's probably right.

[JME2]

I've got a couple from Continuum:

***

Hayes: So what's coming next?

Daniel: (with grim smugness) Death, slavery. Uh, more slavery, more death.

Hayes: Look if you want to say 'I told you so' go a head and get it off your chest. But then you can do one of two things; you can help, or you can leave.

Daniel: Okay, bye!

[starts to walk to the door]

Mitchell: Jackson!

Daniel: Right! I forgot to say, 'I told you so!'

***

(3 hours into Ba'al's extraction ceremoney)

Jack: Never, in the history of boredom, has anyone been as bored as I am, right now.

***

[CaptainChewbacca]

Its not really a line, but in the SG1 episode 'Family Ties', when Teal'c walks in to see a show, sits down in the front row, and then slowly, sadly realizes he's trapped in a production of 'The Vagina Monologues' and can't get away.

The way he hangs his head is just...

[Braedley]

From the episode that Space had on today (season 2)

O'Neill: General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man.