ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

TC Pilot wrote:*shrug* I hadn't heard it was badly ported when I bought it last month. Aside from the horrible hacking minigame control, I found it takes forever to rotate the camera around with no option to up mouse sensitivity. I went back to check, and sliding the mouse completely across the mousepad rotates the camera roughly 90 degrees. By contrast, a full sweep moves the camera 270 degrees in New Vegas. Also, occasionally the camera would go beserk and end up facing the wrong direction. That usually doesn't happen during a fight, but it happens way more than it ought to.
Where in the hell are you getting this "badly ported" nonsense from. Maybe when it first came out, but they've since patches the ever loving fuck out of it and it works just fine. It works even better when you use a game pad. Here's a hint, you've got USB ports for a reason, go get a goddamned game pad. Not everything is best with keyboard and mouse and turns out pretty much every shooter ever works more better with a game pad.

P.S. I'm saying that as someone who's pretty much exclusively a PC gamer.

TC Pilot wrote:For starters, I'll point out I was using the default normal difficulty setting.
There's your problem. Let your balls drop and up the difficulty, duh. Normal is the setting you use if you're a petite little girl and this is your first time playing a game involving violence and bloodshed. Seriously, a game is "bland" because you can't figure out how to work difficulty setting selection?

TC Pilot wrote:I started out the game with a silenced pistol, but found I was terrible at stealth . So I just said fuck it and went straight to assault rifles. Combined with the early light stealth armor upgraded with magic rehealing armor, I essentially became unstoppable halfway through the first post-Arabia mission. In the cases where I wasn't simply wading through enemies like Rambo, I generally found that the AI was so poor that I could sit in a corner and methodically snipe enemies down one-by-one with my scoped assault rifle since they're too stupid to navigate properly and apparently incapable of following you through the levels in certain cases.
Wait, you mean games gimp or buff the AI depending on your difficulty level choice? No... Fucking.. Way. My mind is blown. Like ears are bleeding here. Also, weren't you just bitching about the controls supposedly being difficult to play, yet here you are bragging about how "easy" the combat is. Which is it, the game's hard to play or is it easy to play? Eitherway, share whatever you're smoking with the rest of the class, homes.

TC Pilot wrote:Granted, I hate gameplay like MW2 or Blops, so I liked how the camera spaz-outs weren't intentional. But I never found combat to be especially challenging (save for the epic thrill of trying to turn if a guy appears behind you). It felt more of a chore to get through in quite a few places. This is not unique to AP, of course. The last RPG I played as actually Dragon Age, and holy fuck did I get bored of practically every dungeon halfway through.
So you're complaining about a game that's in a genre that you don't particularly like, you read before hand that it was supposedly bad, and went into it expecting a bad experience, and golly gee motherfucking wiz, you had a bad experience. Worse, you're complaining about shit that supposedly makes the game difficult to play while simultaneously bitching about how easy it is. Really?

TC Pilot wrote:I think the dialouge, in principle, suffers the same problem as Mass Effect, the sort of "that isn't what I thought you were going to say" effect, albiet I give them credit for actually implementing the time limit that was ditched in ME. I tended to try tailoring my responses to the specific individual, which I think is why I ran into so many "douchebag" lines. Which sorta kills my own interest in interacting with other characters, since I find the protagonist annoying, both because of the voice actor and the actual lines, and I can just kill everyone without much difficulty anyway, so this "choice and consequences" falls flat.
So you're an impatient douche that doesn't like RPGs complaining about an RPG...

Ok, TC, get the fuck out of this thread right now.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Tasoth »

I actually bought this a couple weeks ago after seeing Stark recommend it and reading a synopsis on a 'lets play'. The guy tried to talk me out of it in the store, almost as if I was buying something that was going to rape my mother. I think his statement was 'The dialogue is hard and the controls are touchy'.

I really haven't seen any of that.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by weemadando »

Dudes just need to realise that putting you under pressure to make a convo choice and having real consequences IS NOT BAD GAME DESIGN.

And also maybe stop and go "oh its a really, really crunchy RPG with a 3rd person shooter look" rather than "looks like a shooter, lets ignore everything else and pretend it is one."
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by TC Pilot »

Stark wrote:that's solid gold

'consequences don't matter cause combat is easy'

hear that game designers? moar linear plz!
Or better yet, design a game where the consequences matter. :mrgreen:

There's essentially two reasons to replay a game like AP with multiple paths and branching etc. etc: because the setting and characters are interesting enough to interact with in different ways or because it produces different gameplay results. Since I find Thorton to be an annoying douchebag with a terrible voice actor, that basically writes off the first reason for me (ie why give a shit about characters I can't stand). And since my playthrough on normal difficulty wasn't exactly brutal, there doesn't seem to be any reason to find the most advantageous outcomes when a machine gun works just as well. Might that change if I try using different weapons or up the difficulty? Possibly, but there's still what I consider to be the awful controls to slog through, and I've got better things to do with my free time than take another gamble on a $5 game.

I mean, look at it from my perspective: second try on a game I didn't really like, or keep playing Saint's Row 2.
Mr. Coffee wrote:Where in the hell are you getting this "badly ported" nonsense from. Maybe when it first came out, but they've since patches the ever loving fuck out of it and it works just fine. It works even better when you use a game pad. Here's a hint, you've got USB ports for a reason, go get a goddamned game pad. Not everything is best with keyboard and mouse and turns out pretty much every shooter ever works more better with a game pad.
"The controls are bad so buy a gamepad." :lol:

Here, just send me yours so I can bask in the reflected glory of your uber video game skills!
There's your problem. Let your balls drop and up the difficulty, duh. Normal is the setting you use if you're a petite little girl and this is your first time playing a game involving violence and bloodshed. Seriously, a game is "bland" because you can't figure out how to work difficulty setting selection?
It's called context.

But hey, keep talking about how cool you are 'cause you beat a video game on high difficulty. I hear that's really impressive these days.
Wait, you mean games gimp or buff the AI depending on your difficulty level choice?
*shrug* I generally don't play games on the highest difficulty settings, be they RPGs, shooters, or anything. No doubt that's a terrible affront to your super-manly manliness, but hey, this is serious business, god dammit!
Also, weren't you just bitching about the controls supposedly being difficult to play, yet here you are bragging about how "easy" the combat is. Which is it, the game's hard to play or is it easy to play?
Hint: the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Like I said, if a guy comes up behind me, I'm basically fucked. Odds are the guy will unload two or three clips into me by the time I can even turn around. On the other hand, I can just walk into a room, shoot a few guys, duck back out while my armor magically recharges, pop back around to snipe a guy whose stuck on a ladder or shooting a wall or some stupid shit like that, rinse and repeat.
So you're complaining about a game that's in a genre that you don't particularly like, you read before hand that it was supposedly bad, and went into it expecting a bad experience, and golly gee motherfucking wiz, you had a bad experience. Worse, you're complaining about shit that supposedly makes the game difficult to play while simultaneously bitching about how easy it is. Really?
Oh for fuck's sake...

Where in anything that I said did you get that from? First, "a genre I don't like"? :lol: Second, I bought the game because it was like 90% off on Steam and heard that it had gotten blacklisted by retard reviewers and was actually good and was expecting a decent shooter-rpg with a solid plot. Oh noes, it turns out I didn't like the story and I didn't expect the controls to be so annoying. Quick, your i-net ego is under attack because some guy didn't really like a game! :roll:
So you're an impatient douche that doesn't like RPGs complaining about an RPG...
Sorry, not everyone's lucky enough to be a fatty nerd like you to throw away hours and hours of spare time.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

TC Pilot wrote:"The controls are bad so buy a gamepad." :lol:

Here, just send me yours so I can bask in the reflected glory of your uber video game skills!
Wow, you really are dense. It's like this, skippy, if one type of control input system doesn't work so hot maybe you should consider having other input devices? Or maybe you should actually read up on a game beforehand so you know that the PC version is a direct port of the 360 version which would tell you the game probably works best if you use some soft of gamepad. No idea how you get "uber-l33t" from "try using a game pad".

Also, you can pick one of from your local WalMart for $30. Stop being a cheapskate and go get your own.

TC Pilot wrote:It's called context.

But hey, keep talking about how cool you are 'cause you beat a video game on high difficulty. I hear that's really impressive these days.
Yes, because when someone complains about a game being to easy on a lower difficulty that they should maybe try it on a higher difficulty setting it's me totally bragging about my l33t gaming skills... :roll:

Seriously, if you keep this up Stark's going sue your ass for trying to steal his gimmick.

TC Pilot wrote:*shrug* I generally don't play games on the highest difficulty settings, be they RPGs, shooters, or anything.
Then stop whining when a game is to easy, dumbass.

TC Pilot wrote:Hint: the two aren't mutually exclusive.
No, it just makes you look like a whiny tool when you bitch about how difficult a game is to play in the same post where you actually brag about how easy the same game is.

TC Pilot wrote:Oh for fuck's sake...
My thoughts exactly.

TC Pilot wrote:Where in anything that I said did you get that from? First, "a genre I don't like"?
Ahem...
You, earlier in the thread... wrote:This is not unique to AP, of course. The last RPG I played as actually Dragon Age, and holy fuck did I get bored of practically every dungeon halfway through.
Dragon Age came out three years ago, and if that's the last RPG you played it kind of implies that RPGs aren't your thing.

TC Pilot wrote: Second, I bought the game because it was like 90% off on Steam and heard that it had gotten blacklisted by retard reviewers and was actually good and was expecting a decent shooter-rpg with a solid plot. Oh noes, it turns out I didn't like the story and I didn't expect the controls to be so annoying. Quick, your i-net ego is under attack because some guy didn't really like a game! :roll:
And a good deal for why you didn't like the story probably had something to do with you not actually trying to, you know, actually figure out how to use the goddamn response system and saying "fuck it, doesn't matter so I'll just hulk out on normal difficulty and shoot everything". Already covered the control issue, so onward to the next bit of silly shit...

TC Pilot wrote:Sorry, not everyone's lucky enough to be a fatty nerd like you to throw away hours and hours of spare time.
Yes, because actually playing the game enough to check out how the seemingly random shit you do changes how the plot, yo equipment options, and even your play style changes totally makes me a "fatty nerd". :roll: Seriously, Captain Neckbeard, just shut the fuck up, stop trying to pretend you're Stark, and get the fuck out of the thread.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Havok »

TC you are missing Coffee's over all point, and trying to insult him, BADLY, I might add, about YOU not liking certain aspects of the game because they aren't other games or aren't meshing with what you are used to or like. (And refuse to do differently)

The controls are hard- It's designed to be played on controller- The mouse doesn't move the camera the way I want it -It's designed to be played on a controller- No but, I am fucked if someone comes up behind me in game when I am using the keyboard and mouse- It's designed to be played on a controller.

Note that Coffee, a guy who won't even buy another fucking Xbox, doesn't agree with your assessment that the controls are bad on PC. He in fact, says they are fine, and are EVEN BETTER with a controller, like, y'know, the game was designed to be played with. But hey, why actually read what someone wrote when you can try to score some "I win points" by completely misrepresenting what they said.

P.S. Protip: In real life, when a guy comes up behind you with the intention of killing you, and you don't know it, you are basically fucked. "GAME LIKE REAL LIFE?!?! WHAT THE HELL I'M THE FUCKING STUD HERO?!?!?! THIS GAME SUCKS!!!" :lol:

You don't like it for the same reason reviewers bashed it, and that is because YOU can't do what YOU are used to in the game like you can in XYZ game that you are BOSS at. You have made that abundantly clear.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Havok »

Tasoth wrote:I actually bought this a couple weeks ago after seeing Stark recommend it and reading a synopsis on a 'lets play'. The guy tried to talk me out of it in the store, almost as if I was buying something that was going to rape my mother. I think his statement was 'The dialogue is hard and the controls are touchy'.

I really haven't seen any of that.
:lol: I.e., I don't have 10 minutes to consider my dialogue choice and I can run and shot people at the same time like in Halo or Gears. :lol:

It's a shame that such a fun and promising game got treated this way because nerds can't think fast enough or learn new things. So much for the stereotype of gamers being smart. :D
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Tasoth »

At the risk of pounding it into the ground, you don't even really need ten minutes to choose your conversation in ME as you can just go back to options. And it all doesn't matter in the end!

I honestly wish they (being developers) would take more chances making games like AP.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Havok »

Well obviously, if ME3 uses the AP conversation style, THE GAME WILL BE TOO HARD! :lol:

And honestly, AP isn't much of a chance... it has a familiar, but vastly improved, conversation system, familiar shooting system, familiar stealth system... it just seems like they took the ONE element out of the game that FattyNerdsTM NEED to have in it...

I AM THE MASTER CHIEF INVINCIBLE HERO THAT GETS ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS AND DIGITAL WOMINZ!!!

Except, they didn't, you just have to work a little harder and try something a little different to get there.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Stark »

Tasoth wrote:At the risk of pounding it into the ground, you don't even really need ten minutes to choose your conversation in ME as you can just go back to options. And it all doesn't matter in the end!

I honestly wish they (being developers) would take more chances making games like AP.
There are hints they wanted to do even more with it - in Rome, with the icecream man, there are times where it appears he's going for a gun and you can react and blast him first. If there had been more of that sort of stuff, it could have made combat/dialog combine a lot more smoothly - especially if someone reaches for a detonator or whatever and you can blast them if you're fast enough.... but he might have just been picking his nose, etc.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Stofsk »

AP is one of my all-time favourite games, ever. It's a shame it was so unpolished because it lead to it 'flopping' in the eyes of many, and when you hear about the stuff that went on in the development phase it's actually amazing they came out with a finished product that was as good as it was.

For example, people criticised the VA for giving Thorton a bland voice/performance. The actual VA was told to be as bland as possible, which he didn't appreciate one bit. This is a game that worked almost despite itself at times. Like I said I love this game to death but I can see where it could have been easily improved had the development team not been so fucked up.

It's conversation system and the consequential ethics system alone is what makes this game work. The gameplay is fun of course (and it too is underrated - I love how there are three playstyles that are all equally valid) but it's really the whole 'interact with others and how you treat them determines how they treat you now/later' is one of those things A-list studios often forget, or do in a superficial manner. I for one would love to see a sequel. Chris Avellone FTW! :)
Stark wrote:
Tasoth wrote:At the risk of pounding it into the ground, you don't even really need ten minutes to choose your conversation in ME as you can just go back to options. And it all doesn't matter in the end!

I honestly wish they (being developers) would take more chances making games like AP.
There are hints they wanted to do even more with it - in Rome, with the icecream man, there are times where it appears he's going for a gun and you can react and blast him first. If there had been more of that sort of stuff, it could have made combat/dialog combine a lot more smoothly - especially if someone reaches for a detonator or whatever and you can blast them if you're fast enough.... but he might have just been picking his nose, etc.
Rome is interesting because from what I've heard it had some of the most problems from the development team. But some of those missions were excellent and more were definitely intended for them - the 'assassinate that arab dude' one in particular. It starts off with Thorton in a tuxedo, crawling around bushes with a sniper rifle, but he never even gets close to the party. Clearly they wanted to do more with that but couldn't.
Last edited by Stofsk on 2011-08-25 01:28am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Terralthra »

I bought Alpha Protocol during Steam's summer sale for $4.99 and it was easily worth several times that much. Playing through again to let events unfold differently (ie bang every chick while making sure to get the ones I don't want to commit to dying horribly and rescuing the hot redhead photojournalist+SPOILER ALERT assassin) is a hell of a lot of fun. I'm trying to figure out how any path could possibly be more overpowered than pistol/stealth, but not having any luck.

Had no problem at all with the controls, dialogue options are fun, gameplay is fun (if somewhat samey once you pick your core skills).

Still can't bring myself to murderize Marburg. I gotta give him professional respect.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by TC Pilot »

Mr. Coffee wrote:Wow, you really are dense. It's like this, skippy, if one type of control input system doesn't work so hot maybe you should consider having other input devices?
Maybe. Then again, having as I do only one game with that sort of issue, paying six times the actual price of the game to get some peripheral is a bit much.
Yes, because when someone complains about a game being to easy on a lower difficulty that they should maybe try it on a higher difficulty setting it's me totally bragging about my l33t gaming skills...
"There's your problem. Let your balls drop and up the difficulty, duh. Normal is the setting you use if you're a petite little girl and this is your first time playing a game involving violence and bloodshed. Seriously, a game is "bland" because you can't figure out how to work difficulty setting selection?"

Hmm, I suppose I can see how you construed me "bragging" given your "AI is skull-fuckingly tough" starting position. Well, I play games on regular difficulty settings, so my complaints about AP fall under that context.
Then stop whining when a game is to easy, dumbass.
You asked me to explain why I thought AP was a mediocre game. You not liking my reasons doesn't particularly matter to me except insofar as it's kinda funny to see you flail around because some guy on the internet plays games differently, as if the fate of the never-going-to-happen AP sequel is hanging in the balance on the result of this thread.

As I said to Stark, could my experience overall improve if I changed my playstyle or upped the difficulty? Maybe. But I've got better games I could spend my free time on right now.
No, it just makes you look like a whiny tool when you bitch about how difficult a game is to play in the same post where you actually brag about how easy the same game is.
Uh huh. Because, after all, I didn't start off the whole complaint by emphasizing I was playing on a lower difficulty and that I was terrible with stealth.

Honestly, get the fuck over yourself. .
Dragon Age came out three years ago, and if that's the last RPG you played it kind of implies that RPGs aren't your thing.
Wow, I mentioned a problem about a second RPG (the dungeons were too long, on normal difficulty! :shock: ) so I must hate the entire genre! :roll:

Of course, never mind that I talk about the mouse controls for New Vegas in the exact same post.
And a good deal for why you didn't like the story probably had something to do with you not actually trying to, you know, actually figure out how to use the goddamn response system and saying "fuck it, doesn't matter so I'll just hulk out on normal difficulty and shoot everything".
Or you could actually read what I said.

I mean, you're seriously trying to argue with "I didn't like the characters"? Are you really that insecure about this game?
Yes, because actually playing the game enough to check out how the seemingly random shit you do changes how the plot, yo equipment options, and even your play style changes totally makes me a "fatty nerd". :roll:
Pretty much, yeah. It's like the "it gets better after 10 hours" routine with Final Fantasy 14 as if throwing another 12 or so hours at the game just to see if it gets better is nothing.
Havok wrote:TC you are missing Coffee's over all point, and trying to insult him, BADLY, I might add, about YOU not liking certain aspects of the game because they aren't other games or aren't meshing with what you are used to or like. (And refuse to do differently)
Ok, I admit to the shitty insults part :P

However, I was merely explaining why I did not enjoy AP and considered it a mediocre game. I did not shell out $30 from my miserly pockets, so I got stuck with some bad mouse controls. Apparently I picked all the lines where Thorton was a douchebag and the VA was asleep, so I kinda wish he'd gotten blown up in Saudi Arabia. I play games on regular difficulty setting, so my assault rifle run-and-gun routine wasn't hard. Going "lol dumbass play it right" like Coffee doesn't change that, and suggests to me at least a rather sad insecurity that he can't accept that some guy somewhere played the game in some way that doesn't maximize enjoyment. In comes the shitty insults.

Like I said in the Deus Ex reviews thread, AP got unfairly panned by reviewers, it's certainly not that bad.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Ford Prefect »

Stark wrote: Although the joke responses to Heck are great stuff. :V
Maybe you should get a funnel.

Heck was my BEST FRIEND playing AP. :)
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by weemadando »

I really wanted a "put Heck and Marburg in a room together" sitcom spin off.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by White Haven »

...God, yes. That...yes. Ando, you're a tool in G&C, but that just redeemed so much of that. I needed a good laugh. :)
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

TC Pilot wrote:Maybe. Then again, having as I do only one game with that sort of issue, paying six times the actual price of the game to get some peripheral is a bit much.
So you're a cheapskate. Still doesn't change the fact that you control problems would be completely solved by using a game pad since, get this, the game's controls are optimized for a game pad.

Hmm, I suppose I can see how you construed me "bragging" given your "AI is skull-fuckingly tough" starting position. Well, I play games on regular difficulty settings, so my complaints about AP fall under that context.
Which is why I find your complaints so goddamn hilarious. You're saying the combat is to easy when that could be solved simply by upping the difficulty. It's like complaining about a car being to slow when you haven't even taken it out of first gear.

You asked me to explain why I thought AP was a mediocre game. You not liking my reasons doesn't particularly matter to me except insofar as it's kinda funny to see you flail around because some guy on the internet plays games differently, as if the fate of the never-going-to-happen AP sequel is hanging in the balance on the result of this thread.
You complain the controls are difficult with a mouse and keyboard in a game that's control scheme is optimized for a fucking game pad. You complain that the combat is to easy which could be solved by upping the fucking difficulty. Sega green lighting a sequel has nothing to do with it, Monkeyboy. It's completely about your reasoning for AP supposedly being mediocre being entirely based on bullshit.

As I said to Stark, could my experience overall improve if I changed my playstyle or upped the difficulty? Maybe. But I've got better games I could spend my free time on right now.
So you're complaining about a game that you didn't even bother to actually try to play... Why even bother posting in the thread then?

Uh huh. Because, after all, I didn't start off the whole complaint by emphasizing I was playing on a lower difficulty and that I was terrible with stealth.
Yes, we get that you think a game is to easy on lesser dificulty settings and you're to dumb to figure out that you can solve that simply by upping the difficulty. We totally understand that you couldn't figure out how to toggle the crouch button to sneak up on people (and the stealth system is literally that simple, just crouch and come at badguys from behind them. Hell, they cover this in the first five fucking minutes of the game). We get it, you're an idiot that says the game's mediocre instead of just admitting that you're not that good at game. I bet you're probably one of those idiots that constantly blames it on lag when you get your ass shot off playing multi in FPS games too.

Wow, I mentioned a problem about a second RPG (the dungeons were too long, on normal difficulty! :shock: ) so I must hate the entire genre! :roll:
You also mentioned that it was the last game in that genre you played. It's a three year old title and there have been multiple RPG titles that have come out since then, so it's not that hard of a stretch to think that maybe, just maybe, RPGs aren't your thing.

Of course, never mind that I talk about the mouse controls for New Vegas in the exact same post.
Then you're a fucking idiot, because that would mean you have played another RPG title since DA came out. So not only can you not figure out how difficulty settings work, that playing a game optimized for game pads without a game pad is a terrible idea, or how to follow simple instructions in tutorial missions, now you can't even figure out what kind of games it is you play.

Or you could actually read what I said.
Ahem...
You earlier in the thread... wrote:I tended to try tailoring my responses to the specific individual, which I think is why I ran into so many "douchebag" lines. Which sorta kills my own interest in interacting with other characters, since I find the protagonist annoying, both because of the voice actor and the actual lines, and I can just kill everyone without much difficulty anyway, so this "choice and consequences" falls flat.
Maybe you should try reading what the fuck it is you type before you hit post, because that damn sure looks like you're saying "I couldn't figure out how to make the response system work, so I said fuck it, so I'll just blame it on characters being dull and consequences of actions not meaning anything in context of the game's story". Turns out those choices actually have some fairly major impact on how the story unfolds, what equipment options you have, how your character progresses in leveling, ect...

Pretty much, yeah. It's like the "it gets better after 10 hours" routine with Final Fantasy 14 as if throwing another 12 or so hours at the game just to see if it gets better is nothing.
Not even. From game start to the end of the Saudi missions takes a hell of a lot less then ten hours and contains a couple of dozen decisions that not just impact how the Saudi missions unfold story, equipment, and character wise, but also impact how things happen through out the rest of the fucking game.

Maybe if you weren't being such a dishonest, hyperbolic shithead you'd get that. Instead you're trying to channel Stark's gimmick and failing harder than JSF does at it.

No for really this time, get the fuck out of the thread and stay the fuck out of it, you mirthless douche.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Stark »

Rergarding the missions, I have actually heard that people didn't realise the tutorial was optional (and, conversely, that the tutorial even existed). At the point where you can do the three training courses for rewards, you can simply turn around and go back to Westridge and start the first mission. The rewards you get for the tutorials are arguably worth the time, depending on your skillset. One of my friends didn't realise tutorials were on offer and accidentally skipped them, so he had no idea how to do anything. :V
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

Those people must be deaf or profoundly retarded, dude. One of the handler's (mina I think), flat out tells you about the training courses and that you can skip them if you want.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by weemadando »

The tutorials are great for the relationship building opportunities with the different guys.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Stark »

Mr. Coffee wrote:Those people must be deaf or profoundly retarded, dude. One of the handler's (mina I think), flat out tells you about the training courses and that you can skip them if you want.
I guess people only listen to conversations that are EPIC enough, and not the ones that are 'yeah dude this is how the place works, come try this stuff out ok'?

The guy tells me he left the Westridge Big TV room, and figured the best thing to do was immediately turn around and go back in, so... not a sharp one.

Darcy's training thing is broken, I think; he says you need to turn off the 3 alarms while the guards try to beat you up, but I've never had to disarm more than two of them.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

Stark wrote:Darcy's training thing is broken, I think; he says you need to turn off the 3 alarms while the guards try to beat you up, but I've never had to disarm more than two of them.
You don't really have to turn off any of the alarms. Just beat the snot out of the guards or let 'em walk into some EMP mines or use shadow operative if you went with a stealth build and choke them the fuck out and bang-zoom, pass Go and collect $20,000 from Darcy. The only tutorial bit I had any trouble with was the lock-picking/hacking shit because I suck at those minigames, but it's not a big deal once you're out in the actual game and you can just use an EMP grenade to disable that shit. For reals, EMP grenades and health kits should be the only gadgets you carry.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

Just a quick little aside back to numbnut's "the controls are horrible" hatfuckery...

TC, you're either a special ed case or you've never played Alpha Protocol at all. The mouse sensitivity slider is under in the Game Options right under the invert y-axis toggle, ya fuckin' tard.
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by TC Pilot »

Mr. Coffee wrote:So you're a cheapskate. Still doesn't change the fact that you control problems would be completely solved by using a game pad since, get this, the game's controls are optimized for a game pad.
Yes. And? I've acknowledged this about a half dozen times now.

Again, that you feel it neccesary to get so worked about my complaints is your own issue.
Which is why I find your complaints so goddamn hilarious. You're saying the combat is to easy when that could be solved simply by upping the difficulty. It's like complaining about a car being to slow when you haven't even taken it out of first gear.
Well, that's an awful analogy, but whatever.

It's me complaining that it was too easy on the default difficulty setting. I suppose I could have nefariously witheld information on what difficulty setting on was using to let you bloviate some more, though it hadn't occurred to me when I started.
You complain the controls are difficult with a mouse and keyboard in a game that's control scheme is optimized for a fucking game pad. You complain that the combat is to easy which could be solved by upping the fucking difficulty. Sega green lighting a sequel has nothing to do with it, Monkeyboy. It's completely about your reasoning for AP supposedly being mediocre being entirely based on bullshit.
Alright, I'll clarify: it was a mediocre entertainment experience. Congrats, you've wasted another post crying about how some guy didn't like the game.
So you're complaining about a game that you didn't even bother to actually try to play...
I played through it once. That was enough to make a reasonable judgement that the game wasn't particularly enjoyable.
Why even bother posting in the thread then?
There isn't exactly a surplus of new threads on sub-par RPGs I coincidentally recently played.
Yes, we get that you think a game is to easy on lesser dificulty settings and you're to dumb to figure out that you can solve that simply by upping the difficulty. We totally understand that you couldn't figure out how to toggle the crouch button to sneak up on people (and the stealth system is literally that simple, just crouch and come at badguys from behind them. Hell, they cover this in the first five fucking minutes of the game).
:lol:

And here I was thinking "I hate RPGs" was the only made-up shit I was going to see from you. God, you really are butthurt about this.
Then you're a fucking idiot, because that would mean you have played another RPG title since DA came out.
No, shit-for-brains, it means I *GASP* played New Vegas before I played Dragon Age. Holy shit, that must mean I don't neccesarily play a game in the order they're released. Mind-blowing stuff!
Or you could actually read what I said.
You earlier in the thread... wrote:I tended to try tailoring my responses to the specific individual, which I think is why I ran into so many "douchebag" lines. Which sorta kills my own interest in interacting with other characters, since I find the protagonist annoying, both because of the voice actor and the actual lines, and I can just kill everyone without much difficulty anyway, so this "choice and consequences" falls flat.
Maybe you should try reading what the fuck it is you type before you hit post, because that damn sure looks like you're saying "I couldn't figure out how to make the response system work, so I said fuck it, so I'll just blame it on characters being dull and consequences of actions not meaning anything in context of the game's story".
Oh good, more of Coffee's make-believe. You know, it'd be quicker for you and me both if you just kept your imaginary arguments inside your head

But whatever helps soothe your butthurt, I guess.
Not even. From game start to the end of the Saudi missions takes a hell of a lot less then ten hours and contains a couple of dozen decisions that not just impact how the Saudi missions unfold story, equipment, and character wise, but also impact how things happen through out the rest of the fucking game.
The rest of the "fucking game" being about 12 hours, give or take. Again, better things to do with my time. Saint's Row 2 is demanding my attention right about now. By the way, did I mention how much I hate sandbox games because I'm playing a 5-year old game? :mrgreen:
No for really this time, get the fuck out of the thread and stay the fuck out of it, you mirthless douche.
"Mirthless douche"? :luv:

Cry harder, fanboy. Cry harder.

Edit - lol @ the mouse sensitivity thing. Oh wow, ok, that helps a fucking lot. But what the hell is mouse sensitivity doing anywhere not-controls menu!?
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Re: ATTN: EL DOUCHEBAG (Coffee) Alpha Protocol

Post by Mr. Coffee »

TC Pilot wrote:Yes. And? I've acknowledged this about a half dozen times now.
Then it's your own fault that you're dealing with control problems. Glad we got that sorted out.
Again, that you feel it neccesary to get so worked about my complaints is your own issue.
Who's getting worked up? Seriously, the only people that say shit like "don't get so worked up" are trolling dumbshits.

It's me complaining that it was too easy on the default difficulty setting. I suppose I could have nefariously witheld information on what difficulty setting on was using to let you bloviate some more, though it hadn't occurred to me when I started.
You're bitching about a game being to easy on it's default difficulty. No shit it's not going to be challenging when you play it on normal. Christ on a crutch, is it really that hard for you to understand that your entire complaint here is retarded since you can solve it simply by upping the difficulty?

Alright, I'll clarify: it was a mediocre entertainment experience.
Yeah, I get that. I'm really just waiting for you to finally understand that most of your problem with the game comes from you not actually playing the damn game.

Congrats, you've wasted another post crying about how some guy didn't like the game.
Because telling someone how and why their points are bullshit is totally "crying"... :roll: Grow the fuck up already, would ya?

I played through it once. That was enough to make a reasonable judgement that the game wasn't particularly enjoyable.
Yes, we've already established that you barely played the game. Now get the fuck out of the thread.

And here I was thinking "I hate RPGs" was the only made-up shit I was going to see from you.
Show me where I said you "hate" RPGs? What I said was that RPGs aren't your thing, you dishonest shitball.

God, you really are butthurt about this.
Are you JSF's long lost twin brother or something? Grow the fuck up.

Oh good, more of Coffee's make-believe. You know, it'd be quicker for you and me both if you just kept your imaginary arguments inside your head
Yes, I totally imagined you saying you don't play many RPGs. :roll:

The rest of the "fucking game" being about 12 hours, give or take. Again, better things to do with my time.
And yet here you are wasting your time talking about a game that supposedly isn't worth your time...

"Mirthless douche"?
Would you prefer dickcheese or fuckhead or something?

Edit - lol @ the mouse sensitivity thing. Oh wow, ok, that helps a fucking lot. But what the hell is mouse sensitivity doing anywhere not-controls menu!?
[/quote][/quote]

So besides your other imaginary problems with the game we get to add your being to sucking stupid to look at the goddamned options menu to the list.
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Goddammit, now I'm forced to say in public that I agree with Mr. Coffee. - Mike Wong
I never would have thought I would wholeheartedly agree with Coffee... - fgalkin x2
Honestly, this board is so fucking stupid at times. - Thanas
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