StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Ah, so no duel? Very well... AHH SHAPP WLL DROWN US ALL

I'd like to join in. I'd like to be known as Oberbootsman Chard Von Dokken, Funkmaat.

Mostly because funk.

PeZook wrote:This will be a most elite crew that's guaranteed to survive the upcoming patrol, jawohl!

Hmm

Name change to Wernher von Shapp please?

We can therefore not die, because it would cause a PARADOX with the Zenobian timeline!

Chardok wrote:I'd like to join in. I'd like to be known as Oberbootsman Chard Von Dokken, Funkmaat.

Mostly because funk.

You and the also hilariously named compartment-mate Dargos Ritterbachen, ehemaliger Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän will have to figure out who's on the radio/enigma and who's on the sonar.

Subject to herr Kommandant's approval, of course.

MKSheppard wrote: Hmm

Name change to Wernher von Shapp please?

We can therefore not die, because it would cause a PARADOX with the Zenobian timeline!

Your attempts at gaming reality would be commendable if the timeline wasn't already totally fucked to hell!

---

Technical notes: ranks will be assigned by the game. I have no way to easily change them around, so people's declared ranks are subject to random and unpredictable changes before the final crew roster is posted.

Spots left to fill:

Nav officer/ 2 WO

I'm okay with with either. Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän? Which do you prefer?

Chardok wrote:I'd like to join in. I'd like to be known as Oberbootsman Chard Von Dokken, Funkmaat.

Mostly because funk.

(Do we actually need a helmsman or am I better off putting in for that last slot left?)

Generic guys will fill up all those NPC slots. Of course, PC helmsmen won't actually make any decisions in game

Skywalker_T-65 wrote:*winces* I'm glad I'm the weapons guy. Don't need to worry about being on deck when your only job is to shoot torpedos. Unless our glorious commander decides to be stupid brave and has us use the deck gun.

Guess whose job it is to supervise loading torpedoes from external into internal storage. JAWOHL.

Thanas wrote: Guess whose job it is to supervise loading torpedoes from external into internal storage. JAWOHL.

He will also have to do maths.

On six hours of sleep per day.

On a tiny table crammed into the side of the command center.

Possibly while the boat is under attack.

Ah, but I'm the one doing the dirty work of keeping our Unterseeboot operational!

PeZook wrote:

Thanas wrote: Guess whose job it is to supervise loading torpedoes from external into internal storage. JAWOHL.

He will also have to do maths.

On six hours of sleep per day.

On a tiny table crammed into the side of the command center.

Possibly while the boat is under attack.

And counting down the timings. which may or may not be accurate.

Anyway, for loadout - just use the black torps with the golden cone (TIII if possible). Everything else shall be discarded. Better hydrophone is a must, as are battery, silencing and engine upgrades though we most likely will not have enough.

*Jaw drops* What have I gotten myself into?!! Man, my life sucks now...

Somewhere in France

"So, you want me to handle painting the boat with the new Atlantik Tarnung?" asked Wachtofficer Werhner von Shapp, in between drinks at the bar.

"Ja, ja," replied Oblt. Merkel Thanas. "Make sure those Sarkozies put the right grau paint on."

"Right, put the blau paint on. I'll be right on it."

Unfortunately, in the din of the bar, Oblt. Thanas didn't hear Shapp's misrepeated word...

[fuckit I'm not going to do a complex awesome fiction thing here]

PeZook wrote:

Thanas wrote:Guess whose job it is to supervise loading torpedoes from external into internal storage. JAWOHL.

He will also have to do maths.

On six hours of sleep per day.

On a tiny table crammed into the side of the command center.

Possibly while the boat is under attack.

[Cross-references to skill set for grad student]

...NOW I WANT THIS JOB!

Don't worry. I'm sure we will need a replacement eventually.

(I just realized that means I am likely to die in here...darn it...)

All right, Hans Joachim von Doofenberg will be a former Obersteuermann, now the nav officer, and prone to looking at maps upside-down.

"Uhh... were we supposed to go left at that last intersection? Wait, this is the Michelin road map of France..."

Pest, Stenchia
Sept 1, 1943

The cloudy morning sky signified to all present in the naval base of Pest that the nice, calm summer weather was coming to an end. The sea brought with it a distinctly autumn chill, and everyone present in the port walked about with their collars stood up high and their hands in the pockets.

Including the rag-tag group of Kriegsmarine officers piling out of their beat-up Benzwagen in one of Pest's submarine pens. They were gathered in the car only half an hour ago, dragged out from smoky bars and clubs, from under stairs and on one occasion, recruited with a passionate speech and only one application of the Kommandant's horsewhip.

It was this weird Bavarian degenerate, Ian Skywalker, who first broke the shocked silence after they got out of the car.

"Our boat is numbered 1313?", he spat in disbelief upon seeing the tactical number on the kiosk. Then he immediately shut up, because everyone else glared at him as if he said the most inappropriate thing possible. Then they glanced at the Kommandant, who looked surprisingly calm, considering the boat was painted blue.

"JAWOHL MEIN HERREN!", leutnant zur see Wehrner von Shapp yelled, sticking his head out of the forward torpedo hatch, "IT IS DONE, JA? PERFECT WORK, AS I PROMISED! THOSE STENCHIAN LAYABOUTS CAN'T HELP BUT WORK WHEN I'M AROUND!"

"Wait, Stenchia? What the hell is Stenchia, I thought we were in France?", it was the Bavarian again

"Shut up and check your stations. I will talk with herr Shapp."

Everyone's souls shriveled a bit.

"And someone go and find the navigator!"

The officers immediately scattered to the four winds. Which was fortunate, because they saved themselves the sight of watching Ian Skywalker try to cross the tiny, narrow plank leading to the boat from the shore, and failing miserably to the amusement of the gathered crew.

The navigator was found a mere hour later. It turned out he got lost on the way to the submarine pen.

U-1313 was now fully crewed, but a great many tasks remained before it could go out to sea.

---

Personnel File for Oberleutnant zur see Merkel Thanas.
Crew List for U-1313

NOTICE: Due to massive incompetence at the BDU, the high command does not possess any record of Oberleutnant Merkel Thanas ever receiving his final promotion. However, the last bureaucrat to bring this up was found trampled by a pure-breed horse in suspicious circumstances, so nobody bothers.

"BLUE? WHY THE HELL IS THE BOAT BLUE?"



*******************************
(OOC: Vat iz our patrol order? I suggest Gibraltar. Great pickings there) But first we should speed across the blasted biscaya into deeper waters where we can dive better. I suggest a test dive to 180m as soon as we get there. Don't bother with flak when aircraft are spotted, standing orders should be to immediately press go to periscope depth, then press crash drive (c?) immediately after. When in shallow water and as soon as the bow is underwater, manually adjust depth to 20-40 meters after pressing crash drive).

Oh boy...I can already tell I am going to be the laughing stock of the Kreigsmarine. Man...that sucks. Oh well, as long as I can actually hit things with the torpedos all is good.

Pest, Stenchia
Sept 2, 1943

Why...why are there trig tables under my station? Why do I need trig tables to shoot torpedoes? Oh god I am going to fail so hard at this and they will find me out and then they will shoot me oh god Jeebus save me...

"ATTENTION!" Wehrner von Shapp's yell startled everybody present in U-1313's cramped command compartment. Leutnant Skywalker dropped all the arcane utensils he was examining. Books and geometric devices scattered all over the floor, "HERR KOMMANDANT IS CALLING EVERYONE INTO HIS OFFICE!"

The officers left the boat as quickly as they could, although the navigator, leutnant von Doofenberg, got confused and used the torpedo hatch, and then ran to the wrong office.

"Mein herren", kommandant Thanas began, putting down the orders he's been reading and re-reading for the last hour, "We have received our orders. We are to put out to sea on the 10th, and proceed to patrol grid CA55 in search of enemy shipping."

The kommandant let this sink in for a while.

"But herr kommandant, how are we going to reach the Indian Ocea...", von Doofenberg furrowed his brow, "Oh, right. Enschuldigung, I held the map the wrong way...but wait, this can't be right, we are going to patrol off...New York?"

"Jawohl. As I said, we leave on the 10th..."

"But that's a Friday!", leutnant Skywalked gasped

"...on the tenth.", herr Thanas continued calmly, "And I expect the boat to be ready earlier than that. You will all provide reports for my approval concerning your respective areas by tomorrow, so that we can start to load torpedoes and provisions."

"We could swap out the hydrophones, herr kommandant..."

"I will see what I can do. Get to work, I expect orders to be carried out swiftly or things will start to happen to your careers. And fingers. Possibly both."

Oh god..., groaned Ian Skywalker, the only officer here who had no idea what he was supposed to do.

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CHIEF WATCH OFFICER

Responsible for determining watch rotations, rest periods and compartment manning schemes.

Should provide the kommandant with information on where crewmen from the bridge should go whent he boat is submerged, where their battle stations are and under what conditions should the flak gun be manned.



NAVIGATOR

Responsible for plotting the course and speed towards your destination. Should provide a rough outline of the route from Pest (brest) to New York that he thinks U-1313 should take on its patrol.

WEAPONS OFFICER

Is responsible for proposing the weapons loadout for your patrol.



This is the current default loadout. You can carry four torpedoes pre-loaded in the fore tubes, additoinal four in the ready reserve, two more below the floor panels, one loaded in the rear tube and one in reserve in the read torpedo compartment.

Additionally, two torpedoes can be stored outside the pressure hull, however these can only be basic TI type, as electric torpedoes have to be regularly maintained, which cannot be done when they're stored outside the pressure hull.

Descriptions of torpedo types:







Take note of the Renown cost of each torpedo. The Weapons Officer should provide a proposal for what types of torpedoes to bring, and where they should be stored. Take note you only have 500 renown points to spend in total.

CHIEF ENGINEER

His job is the easiest right now, as all he has to recommend whether or not to spend 300 renown on upgrading the boat's hydrophones (the only upgrade you can afford right now).

Herr kommandant has to approve or modify these plans before you can set to sea, on a Friday, in U-1313.

T III torpedoes all the way except for externals.

And an update for the sonars is a must. How else are we to find pray if we cannot hear it?

EDIT: For max fuel efficiency, speed shall be set at 8 knots manually.

So - was it ever decided who was sonar and whos on the enigma/coms?

Aren't you on coms?

Oh, and we need a mascot for the tower (probably best to be decided among the crew).

I suggest a seal.