Mysterious Vending Machines RAR

[Formless]

I vaguely recall to be this the case in the animé, where the police too had pokémons?

Yes, usually dog-like pokemon like growlith or Herdier, or whatever is regionally appropriate if a particular city has a tradition of using, say, bug types. And in the games, the police will actually challenge you to battles sometimes if you get caught outside at night. Notably, Sinnoh cops (the region where this all happened in their world) prefer birds and the hominid pokemon machop/machoke/machamp instead presumably because they can just muscle normal humans to the ground and help effect arrests. But elsewhere, they also prefer dogs.

We will need to expand animal rights and animal cruelty laws (as well as enforcing them) because now idiot and abusive pet owners can actually create public dangers with abused pokémon.

As stated in the OP, abused pokemon will often simply turn on their abuser and will definitely cease displaying guard dog behaviors; so they are going create more of a danger to themselves than to others.

But I agree, since even young and untrained pokemon can create lots of collateral damage; the tutorial battle in Black and White takes place in the player character's home, and you actually wreak your bedroom in the process.

Hell, many nations might have to relax their legal weapon laws just to allow non-owners a way to defend themselves.

There is a universal repellant in the games called, uh, repel that keeps wild pokemon away while walking in tall grass. So I am assuming that most species are sensitive to modern irritants like bear spray. Admittedly that's probably of little comfort when you are confronted by a giant angry monkey like Infernape or staring down a Blastoise's water cannon.

- Do the pokémon make animal sounds or do they use their name? (Please say animal sounds)

I always figured pokemon were named after the noises they make, kinda like how cat's are called méo in Vietnam.
And just like cat's, I really hope they have a range of noises available to them.

Yes, they make animal sounds, and yes, like in the games many of those sounds have an uncanny resemblance to their names. Pikachu is a good example of this (although as of the newest games Nintendo gave in and had pikachus and only pikachus say their name because he's the franchise mascot, dammit! I'm serious.).* Chatot is one exception to this rule, because its a parrot and can mimmic lots of human noises. But they're no more capable of actually speaking human languages than a parrot either.

* Fun fact, in the anime, Pikachu actually mimics the names of the main cast when addressing them. But only their Japanese names; it never got redubbed, so outside of Japan the pattern is harder to notice. Your pikachu might do the same thing...

- How much information and guides does the pokédex give on how to train and handle pokémon?

Food is a big question though. I assume they don't follow the law of conservation of energy?

All the information about height, weight, environment, basic behavior, etc. that is found in the game's data for the pokedex, plus nutritional information and basic trainer instructions. Trainers are expected to be able to take wild pokemon out of their capture balls and in a short or negligible period of time have them obeying verbal commands; since there are hundreds of pokemon in the franchise, I expect the 'dex has specific instructions to aid in unusual or non-mammalian cases. Its probably a more specialized job than most people think, despite all the jokes about sending kids into the wild without an education, and most people don't get a pokedex in the first place. Despite their age, the player character's are probably exceptions to the rule, essentially interns or apprentices for famous professors of pokemon biology or behavior. Again, much like in Pokemon Origins or the Adventures manga.

As far as nutrition goes, they can eat whatever is appropriate for a reptile if they are a reptile, or a canid if they are a canid, etc. The dex will have nutritional information, and instructions for special cases. The machines also sell feed at a reasonable price, as well as the various types of berries that grow in the pokemon world and are eaten by many species for both nutrition and health benefits. These berries can be planted and grown if you have agricultural skills.

So for instance, Fennekin is based on fennec foxes so they would be omnivorous and prefer fruit. Charmander are shown eating fruit as well in Pokemon Snap, but will probably need more meat as it evolves into Charmeleon and Charazard. Tepig is a pig, and mostly a vegetarian. Bulbasaur, Turtwig, Chikorita, and Leafeon can all undergo photosynthesis for calories because their biology is unlike anything terrestrial, but would still need nutrients from somewhere and can probably tolerate some extra calories from their food. Eevee is almost certainly an omnivore considering the variety of environments its evolutions are specialized for (even though the only games where they can be found in the wild is the newest ones, based on France, and only on one route). And so on. You get the idea.

Their attacks do obey conservation of energy; as shown in the games and shows they can only use their attacks a limited number of times before needing rest. Some of the more powerful attacks tire them out faster or pull in outside energy, such as solar beam is known to do. You are not entirely sure where some of this energy is coming from, nor the water that water types can spew; but then, you don't know how the vending machines can operate off the grid either. Possibly the pokemon just metabolize energy more efficiently than terrestrial wildlife.

- So the first wave is going to appear. Are they going to destroy the existing wildlife? How completely? Are we going to have a big contender for humanity in terms of ecological disaster?

I would like to know what the forum thinks will happen. All I will say is; that they are entirely wild, not militarized and will act like they do in the wild; Cyrus and Team Galactic are the only human antagonists/terrorists involved, and he does not directly control any pokemon he has not captured (unfortunately, Arceus is one of the pokemon he has captured); and that every pokemon species that comes through the 4d rift has a global starting population of ~1Million, which may be small for some species like bugs and may be very massive for larger species.

- On the vain of food, what about medicine? Will the pokémon be susceptible to Earth diseases? Will they carry their own (probably not with the pokéballs and the cloning but still)?

They are cloned, so they do not carry any known pokemon diseases like the pokerus (notably, the pokerus can actually make pokemon stronger in the long run). However, they may be susceptible to our contagions if there are known diseases that would effect analogous species, like the fennec fox. The vending maches sell medical supplies. There is also a known condition among pikachu and similar electric pokemon where they may store too much electricity and become feverish and magnetized until it is drained or discharged. Other environmental issues are known, such as a charmander's need to keep its tail lit and keep high body heat.

- Can we use dog-identity chips on them?

[/quote]
Yes, and furthermore the pokeballs already have a similar ID technology installed for the trainer's convenience. How else do you think trainers always know which pokemon is in which pokeball?

A note about pokeballs: some fans speculate that they turn the pokemon into energy, but I interpret them as containing a space larger on the inside, and requiring a teleporter to allow pokemon to enter them. They can also enlarge to the size of a baseball, despite apparently gaining volume.

[madd0ct0r]

However, they may be susceptible to our contagions if there are known diseases that would effect analogous species, like the fennec fox.

Oh great. rabies and pokemon. Can't see that going wrong!

On the other hand, even if they are equally spread only in ideal habitats for them, I think most of the pokemon would die of old age before encountering another of their species. No encounter, no babies. It may not be much more then a intense few decade or so until most of them have been put down.

[Zixinus]

As stated in the OP, abused pokemon will often simply turn on their abuser and will definitely cease displaying guard dog behaviors; so they are going create more of a danger to themselves than to others.

I'm not worried about the idiot animal abuser. I'm worried about everything that gets between the abused pokémon and the abuser. As well as the pokémon once it quits the abuser.

There is a universal repellant in the games called, uh, repel that keeps wild pokemon away while walking in tall grass. So I am assuming that most species are sensitive to modern irritants like bear spray.

My understanding is that only works to avoid getting attacked/meeting pokémon in the wild. The equivalent of an insect repellent.

It will not stop a pokémon already determined to hurt you or made to do so by an owner. If you don't have your own pokémon to defender yourself, you'll have to resort to more brutal means. A similar situation if a lot of people suddenly developed superpowers: until the police adopts you will have a lossened control over violence and regular people will demand the means to respond.

Although the formula for Repel will have to be figured out. Probably sold in by the vending machines and reverse-engineered from there.

A possible solution will be Pester balls might offer a more direct repellent or weapon against pokémon. Essentially a more universal and effective pepper spray. Add small guns or other mechanism to throw them accurately, you have a good civilian weapon against pokémon.

[Formless]

However, they may be susceptible to our contagions if there are known diseases that would effect analogous species, like the fennec fox.

Oh great. rabies and pokemon. Can't see that going wrong!

On the other hand, even if they are equally spread only in ideal habitats for them, I think most of the pokemon would die of old age before encountering another of their species. No encounter, no babies. It may not be much more then a intense few decade or so until most of them have been put down.

Hmmm... Well, they are being distributed primarily on three main continents in initial populations of up to three million (for species that evolve twice). Discounting the starters save for Pikachu, eevee and ralts (which can all be found in the wild) and legendary pokemon which are rare to unique, that's about 700 million individuals. I think they would probably be dispersed in appropriate environments, just as the machines were (I guess that should have been stated in the OP, but I wrote the "open letter" section late at night, so...). What initial population size would be needed for, say, an insect species to take hold in North America? Or a deer species to take hold in Europe?

Of course, there is habitat loss to consider on our world. The creator of Poke'mon made a point of depicting the world as being less "built up" so that the kinds of forests and wilderness he used to play in as a child would be there for players to explore. Species better suited to an urban environment, like Pidgey and Pidove (i.e. pigeons), might be better off when they get here than those that are strictly wild or need a special habitat, like anything that lives in/near volcanos.

I'm not worried about the idiot animal abuser. I'm worried about everything that gets between the abused pokémon and the abuser. As well as the pokémon once it quits the abuser.

Agreed. That stipulation exists more as a self-limiting mechanism on abuse. I'm betting (could be wrong) that after a few people get their achilles tendon cut by an angry Oshawott or their house burned down by a cindaquil that people will get the message that these things can bite back.

My understanding is that only works to avoid getting attacked/meeting pokémon in the wild. The equivalent of an insect repellent.

It will not stop a pokémon already determined to hurt you or made to do so by an owner. If you don't have your own pokémon to defender yourself, you'll have to resort to more brutal means. A similar situation if a lot of people suddenly developed superpowers: until the police adopts you will have a lossened control over violence and regular people will demand the means to respond.

Although the formula for Repel will have to be figured out. Probably sold in by the vending machines and reverse-engineered from there.

A possible solution will be Pester balls might offer a more direct repellent or weapon against pokémon. Essentially a more universal and effective pepper spray. Add small guns or other mechanism to throw them accurately, you have a good civilian weapon against pokémon.

I figured that since its a universal repellant, the chemicals are probably either really foul smelling to pokemon, or some kind of mild irritant akin to bear spray. In which case, a stronger irritant like pepper spray seems like a logical next step up.

Pester balls would probably work, though. And considering the attitudes of a lot of american gun owners, I'm betting firearm sales will jump as soon as the bigger birds and snakes start showing up... but I don't know what would happen in Europe and Asia, where the weapon laws are stricter. I guess I'll defer to you on that one.

The vending machines sell anything that would be bought at a pokemart or major department store. This includes Repel and Super Repel. Mewtwo doesn't care about the intellectual property rights of companies like Silph and Devon, and has meticulously counterfeited their merchandise and technologies. However, hand crafted items like Kurt's pokeballs are not purchasable for the obvious reason that they aren't mass manufactured.

[Formless]

Scratch that number on the individual count-- doing the math, starters (and their evolutions) and legendaries account for 105 species in the franchise.

So more like 600 million invaders. Give or take.

[Irbis]

and that every pokemon species that comes through the 4d rift has a global starting population of ~1Million, which may be small for some species like bugs and may be very massive for larger species

Big problem here. Out of 722 existing pokemon, some are unnaturally efficient (as in, literally have supernatural powers) killers that hunt humans for fun. That means million Lampents, Gorebyss, Drifloons, Haunters, Banettes, Dusclops, Honedges, or Phantumps. And these aren't even the worst examples.

Oh, and every Ghost-type is immune to fighting and normal attacks, so you can pretty much assume it's immune to bullets and knives, too. If it's Dark/Ghost? Better run for your life, as it's also pretty much immune or resistant to virtually all pokemon outside a single, rarest type, making them all but unstoppable to anything but big, concentrated attacks.

But forget ghost killers. 1 million aquatic pokemons means 1 million of Wailords which make whales look tiny. How long seas can support them before running dry? What about other colossal pokemon, like Steelix or Gyarados? And below them, there are dozens of elephant sized pokemons, almost all of which are aquatic, flying, or extremely dangerous (dragons) making hunting them difficult proposal. What species on earth are abundant, ever present source of food that can't fight very well?

You're pretty much looking at instant society militarization for survival, and not into something so laughably ineffective as guns. No, pokemon that can be shoot are not a problem, besides, quite a lot of pokemon are actually far more dangerous if armed human they can exploit is nearby.

On the other hand, even if they are equally spread only in ideal habitats for them, I think most of the pokemon would die of old age before encountering another of their species. No encounter, no babies. It may not be much more then a intense few decade or so until most of them have been put down.

It shows that you didn't played the games Some pokemon actually can breed with big number of other species. One in particular, Ditto, who can breed with literally anything is very popular breeding shortcut machine due to this.

In fact, it's so efficient that competitive pokemon players run special breeding programs basically designed to create perfect gene match Dittos which they then use to produce unnaturally strong (as in, perfect stats in anything) pokemon of a kind they want. They don't bother with captures, wild pokemon are no match for SCIENCE!

[Formless]

Oh, and every Ghost-type is immune to fighting and normal attacks, so you can pretty much assume it's immune to bullets and knives, too.

Uh... not true. Ghosts in poke'mon are NOT invulnerable to physical attacks in general *, just fighting type and normal type attacks. In fact, they are weak to Dark type attacks, which are generally phyical. Like Bite. Since they are not resistant to Steel type attacks, blades and bullets should work against them. Just don't try to punch a ghost and you can probably hurt it to some degree or another.

I mean, its easy to see how the name can cause confusion. In Japanese culture, ghosts are NOT incorporeal by default like westerners think of them. Its more a catchall term for the undead, and many ghost types in poke'mon represent things like, say, mummies.

* (hell, Ghost type attacks themselves were considered physical until the game designers started distinguishing them on an attack by attack basis)

[Formless]

t shows that you didn't played the games Some pokemon actually can breed with big number of other species. One in particular, Ditto, who can breed with literally anything is very popular breeding shortcut machine due to this.

In fact, it's so efficient that competitive pokemon players run special breeding programs basically designed to create perfect gene match Dittos which they then use to produce unnaturally strong (as in, perfect stats in anything) pokemon of a kind they want. They don't bother with captures, wild pokemon are no match for SCIENCE!

Okay, I'm going to be a motherfucker and clamp down on this one hard, because it makes no fucking sense outside of game mechanics. Hell, it doesn't even make sense according to the poke'dex, because there are poke'mon that the game data says are compatible that are in a predator-prey relationship and are instinctively hostile to one another in the wild. If it isn't the same species, its not compatible. I might say ditto are an exception, but only because I like the theory that they are related to the mew cloning experiments.

I don't want this thread to be about "lol, pokemon shit is loony tunes logic", so use some common sense people. The Day Care people were written as a lie to children. End of story.

[Irbis]

Uh... not true. Ghosts in poke'mon are NOT invulnerable to physical attacks in general *, just fighting type and normal type attacks. In fact, they are weak to Dark type attacks, which are generally phyical. Like Bite. Since they are not resistant to Steel type attacks, blades and bullets should work against them. Just don't try to punch a ghost and you can probably hurt it to some degree or another.

I mean, its easy to see how the name can cause confusion. In Japanese culture, ghosts are NOT incorporeal by default like westerners think of them. Its more a catchall term for the undead, and many ghost types in poke'mon represent things like, say, mummies.

I know Japanese ghosts aren't always incorporeal, just from the pokemon art itself it looked like things like dark flame bodies should be incorporeal outside of very small area, possibly. But then again, I never watched anime, maybe they're actually solid, though I seem to recall some ghost types can float through walls. Am I wrong?

Anyway, my impression was, weapons-like things on pokemon seem to be domain of fighting/normal types. I wouldn't assume 'physical' attacks of the pokemon to be something humans can replicate, because when you look at the list of physical attacks, it's things like Shadow Blast, Leech Life or Bolt Strike. Even these that are seemingly just claws and teeth suggest there is something special behind them, otherwise why Dragon Claw would be different from Cut? Why only dark pokemon can use Bite at full strenght? And why it's something you need to 'learn' anyway if it's just teeth?

Also, unless humans can get their hands on some fairy types, which were extremely rare until VI generation retconned some earlier types to be fairy post facto, all pokemon they can catch would be at big disadvantage in fighting worst threats. While all things like Honedge or Haunter can kill humans with a single touch.

Okay, I'm going to be a motherfucker and clamp down on this one hard, because it makes no fucking sense outside of game mechanics. Hell, it doesn't even make sense according to the poke'dex, because there are poke'mon that the game data says are compatible that are in a predator-prey relationship and are instinctively hostile to one another in the wild. If it isn't the same species, its not compatible. I might say ditto are an exception, but only because I like the theory that they are related to the mew cloning experiments.

I don't want this thread to be about "lol, pokemon shit is loony tunes logic", so use some common sense people. The Day Care people were written as a lie to children. End of story.

*shrug* it works in universe. Is it really that much more dumber than say wolf being capable of mating with Pekingese, which they would normally eat?

Even if we say obvious prey/predator pairings don't work, that still leaves us with hundreds of pokemons that exist alongside each other without problems that should be able to mate, so extinction outside of some rarer types shouldn't be a problem, IMHO.

Also, after some googling, I came upon this list. Animal cruelty has nothing on pokemon designer's imagination

[madd0ct0r]

species includes sequiential evolutions?

so a charizard and charmander can get it on, or does it require matching stages? How closely related do species need to be?

I just lost an hour to looking through the charts of the pokemon origions project.

[Irbis]

species includes sequiential evolutions?

so a charizard and charmander can get it on, or does it require matching stages? How closely related do species need to be?

Basically, all you need in game is to have same egg group:

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group

Only the baby pokemon, very first evolutions of some pokemons, cannot breed at all.

Hmm. If pokemon were real, I'd expect 3 things to happen:

A) since some are plainly useless, I'd expect them to be unregulated, while high grade pokemon would be a status symbol or even banned weapon. Frankly, some pokemon are unbalanced, potentially much stronger than even legendaries if we're to believe game stats, as most legendaries usually have drawback or two.

B) police would start battle arenas (or whatever method they pick to make them stronger) for their own use, both to ensure their pokemon are stronger than the criminal ones and the extremely dangerous wild ones, which would be probably targets of methodical capture or extermination.

C) military would probably hire competitive players as consultants and start Ditto programs to breed military perfect Mons for special forces. I can see Ditto being one of banned mons, since they are not good at being protectors, but they would be strategic material in war 'production', especially if there is only a million of them. Maybe even some 'bounty for catching' program?

Some pokemon are as strong and dangerous as a tank, sea pokemons could be very dangerous to warships, air pokemons to airplanes. I'd expect entirely new branch of armed forces quickly created to deal with these, similar to trained dolphins programs.

[Irbis]

Basically, all you need in game is to have same egg group:

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group

Only the baby pokemon, very first evolutions of some pokemons, cannot breed at all.

Though, a disclaimer here: besides theoretical compatibility, there is also a breed rate, something dictating how likely they are to produce offspring. If the pokemon are too different, this can fall to 0%, basically taking care of Formless objection they shouldn't be able to breed. This is also why people use Dittos, by the way.

I guess if you want logic, pokemons of various egg groups might be like dogs, having very different forms and shapes, but still having ancestors close enough to be able to breed?

By the way, no one seems to know how to make more Dittos, which is why I mentioned they would be a very strategical pokemon. They always produce the egg of a mate with another pokemon, and cannot seemingly breed with each other.

[Solauren]

Actually, if the various Governments have any brains, this will not be as bad as you think.

Consider:
We have these machines appearing from an unknown source, by unknown means
We have these machines handing out what are, for all intents and purposes, alien life forms.
These alien life forms are modeled after creatures we depict as having major offensive capabilities.

I'm fairly certain a squad of Blastoise could handle a similar sized group of armed soldiers.
I'm fairly certain a Bulbasaur would rip a tank apart with a Solar Beam.

To be, this almost looks like a covert alien invasion. With the soldiers being protected by the civilian populace.
A populace that might take to Pokemon battling and thereby increasing the abilities of these soldiers.

The Goverments should move quickly to seize and secure these machines, as well as put incentives in place to hand over any Pokemon that were handed out.

Otherwise, we might have a Pokemon apocalypse, and welcome our new alien overlords and their adorable soldiers.

[Formless]

Uh... not true. Ghosts in poke'mon are NOT invulnerable to physical attacks in general *, just fighting type and normal type attacks. In fact, they are weak to Dark type attacks, which are generally phyical. Like Bite. Since they are not resistant to Steel type attacks, blades and bullets should work against them. Just don't try to punch a ghost and you can probably hurt it to some degree or another.

I mean, its easy to see how the name can cause confusion. In Japanese culture, ghosts are NOT incorporeal by default like westerners think of them. Its more a catchall term for the undead, and many ghost types in poke'mon represent things like, say, mummies.

I know Japanese ghosts aren't always incorporeal, just from the pokemon art itself it looked like things like dark flame bodies should be incorporeal outside of very small area, possibly. But then again, I never watched anime, maybe they're actually solid, though I seem to recall some ghost types can float through walls. Am I wrong?

Ghastly and its evolutions are primarily gaseous (hence the name), but they can go through state changes to behave as solids as well. However, I've stated already that this isn't based on the main Anime with Ash and co., its based on the games and the Origins OVA.

Anyway, my impression was, weapons-like things on pokemon seem to be domain of fighting/normal types. I wouldn't assume 'physical' attacks of the pokemon to be something humans can replicate, because when you look at the list of physical attacks, it's things like Shadow Blast, Leech Life or Bolt Strike. Even these that are seemingly just claws and teeth suggest there is something special behind them, otherwise why Dragon Claw would be different from Cut? Why only dark pokemon can use Bite at full strenght? And why it's something you need to 'learn' anyway if it's just teeth?

Like this list of moves? Which states that Shadow Blast is a special attack? ( ) And consider that electric type physical moves like Bolt Strike still deal damage primarily through the flow of electricity, meaning that they are no different from biological tazers. We totally can replicate that kind of thing.

Steel and rock type poke'mon are far more fearsome, IMO. Steel poke'mon actually have a resistance to most types, and logically have the most resilient bodies, with Rock types coming in at a close second.

Also, unless humans can get their hands on some fairy types, which were extremely rare until VI generation retconned some earlier types to be fairy post facto, all pokemon they can catch would be at big disadvantage in fighting worst threats. While all things like Honedge or Haunter can kill humans with a single touch.

Ralts is one of the retconned pokemon, and one of the starters I've included here. Also, eevee now has a fairy evolution, because its eevee, duh.

Okay, I'm going to be a motherfucker and clamp down on this one hard, because it makes no fucking sense outside of game mechanics. Hell, it doesn't even make sense according to the poke'dex, because there are poke'mon that the game data says are compatible that are in a predator-prey relationship and are instinctively hostile to one another in the wild. If it isn't the same species, its not compatible. I might say ditto are an exception, but only because I like the theory that they are related to the mew cloning experiments.

I don't want this thread to be about "lol, pokemon shit is loony tunes logic", so use some common sense people. The Day Care people were written as a lie to children. End of story.

*shrug* it works in universe. Is it really that much more dumber than say wolf being capable of mating with Pekingese, which they would normally eat?

Actually, many dog breeds are only compatible in a genetic sense. But physiologically, there is no way a German Shepard can actually breed with, say, a Chihuahua. They can only breed due to human intervention.

That's why it makes no sense. Even if you want to say a Skitty is genetically compatible with a Wailord, its a round peg and a square hole problem (*erghm*). In reality, that is a significant factor in speciation; two subspecies over time just lose the ability to get it on with eachother, or alternatively the drive to to do so (though I don't want to get too caught up in the ambiguities in species classification). And besides which, none of the media adaptations of poke'mon actually depict this as far as I can tell, because no one thinks it makes sense except a few weirdo fans. As a game mechanic, its too inconvenient to catch two pokemon of the same species (especially if the species is a starter). But that seems to me to be the only reason it happens. And again, the Day Care is a lie to children. I mean, they always have other people's poke'mon around, not just yours, so who knows what goes on backstage at those establishments?

Also, after some googling, I came upon this list. Animal cruelty has nothing on pokemon designer's imagination

True, but the writings of the poke'dex, which also contains blatant violations of common sense, are already dealt with at the bottom of the the OP. Most of that article is okay, but there is a lot of the Dex that reads like the Star Trek technical manuals. Igglybuff for starters probably doesn't actually violate the laws of motion, or else no one would be able to catch one and we would have an inconsistency on our hands. Also, Snorlax is a big eater, but outside of the Dex they do vary in size and, presumably, diet. Its helpful to remember that the 'dex is implied to be written in part by kids and teens and contains a lot of entries that begin with "it is said".

...incidentally, I'm not going to clarify whether or not Arceus is actually a god or whether he is, as Cynthia implies in the game, merely treated that way by the Natives of Sinnoh. I personally prefer to think that he has more in common with Cthulu; hell, they even give him the same "alien" visual cues as Deoxis, which canonically come from space.

species includes sequiential evolutions?

so a charizard and charmander can get it on, or does it require matching stages? How closely related do species need to be?

I'm going to say it depends on the species and whether or not the basic evolution is implied to be mature or not. Charizard and Venosaur are supposed to be the most mature form of their group, so a charmander probably can't breed. Pikachu and Pichu is explicitly done like this; but they don't have to actually evolve into Raichu. Raichu are instead supposed to be nest protectors from my understanding. Eevee can be fully mature without evolving, even though they are smaller than their evolutions. But not really that much smaller, and some of the media adaptations show large unevolved eevee so... yeah. Game Freak is never going to give eevee a normal type evolution; it would be redundant.

[Formless]

Hmm. If pokemon were real, I'd expect 3 things to happen:

[...]

B) police would start battle arenas (or whatever method they pick to make them stronger) for their own use, both to ensure their pokemon are stronger than the criminal ones and the extremely dangerous wild ones, which would be probably targets of methodical capture or extermination.

I'd expect them to use methods more similar to how we train real police dogs than the preferred "battle" method(s) used in the Poke'mon World. Police needs are a bit different than merely training them in attack; like using dogs to sniff out evidence and the like, or for pursuit. Granted, it would probably have to be altered for individual species since most of them are going to be used differently than police dogs; I can easily see the Chimchar-->Infernape evolutions being used more like, well, monkeys. Because they are monkeys.

Plus, some of them are probably more useful than others for police and military use. Torterra for instance mostly stay still and soak in sunlight unless they are searching for clean water. Small price to pay for being a tree with legs.

C) military would probably hire competitive players as consultants and start Ditto programs to breed military perfect Mons for special forces. I can see Ditto being one of banned mons, since they are not good at being protectors, but they would be strategic material in war 'production', especially if there is only a million of them. Maybe even some 'bounty for catching' program?

Hell, if ditto can be trained to morph into humans, they could be used for some pretty creepy espeonage tactics.

Consider:
We have these machines appearing from an unknown source, by unknown means
We have these machines handing out what are, for all intents and purposes, alien life forms.
These alien life forms are modeled after creatures we depict as having major offensive capabilities.

"Unknown source" depends on if they believe the About section to have actually been written by Mewtwo. And how they react come October when the predicted birds start appearing.

Actually, I wonder if they would look into reverse-engineering the entry method for getting into the Distortion World themselves...

The Goverments should move quickly to seize and secure these machines, as well as put incentives in place to hand over any Pokemon that were handed out.

Otherwise, we might have a Pokemon apocalypse, and welcome our new alien overlords and their adorable soldiers.

Like I said before, that's a lot of property to confiscate in a small amount of time, and there is no telling if the governments of the world will handle this in a uniform manner.

[Zixinus]

Speaking of evolving, will the vending machines also sell stuff like evolutionary stones? So if I want the Dark evolution for my eevee I can use the shard for it (and the appropriate handling and training)?

[Formless]

For the purpose of this, evolutionary stones don't exist and are unnecessary. Like in the card game. Again, they are an all too convenient gameplay contrivance. Your pokemon can evolve based on the environment it is in and the way it was raised.

Besides, umbreon and espeon have never needed evolutionary stones. Umbreon evolve at night, and espeon evolve during the day (they have an affinity for sunlight, apparently, even though they aren't grass type); in game this is based on its happiness level. Sylveon is similar, except its based on the new "affection" mechanic. So if you want a sylveon, groom it well!


...


Although, I have seen in at least one "realistic pokemon" fanart for Vaporeon the speculation that water stones are in fact just compressed beach sand. Also, eevee's grass and ice evolutions take place when you are near a "Moss Rock" or an "Ice Rock", which are large and immobile. The features of those are suggestive of what would actually influence their evolutions. I've always entertained the notion that leafeon's plantlike characteristics are from absorbing moss into its body in a symbiotic relationship, for instance.

Thunderstones are probably just natural batteries, firestones are probably some kind of combustable mineral. Etc. No need to buy anything.

[Simon_Jester]

I'd expect them to use methods more similar to how we train real police dogs than the preferred "battle" method(s) used in the Poke'mon World. Police needs are a bit different than merely training them in attack; like using dogs to sniff out evidence and the like, or for pursuit. Granted, it would probably have to be altered for individual species since most of them are going to be used differently than police dogs; I can easily see the Chimchar-->Infernape evolutions being used more like, well, monkeys. Because they are monkeys.

True. Also, they need to be trained in nonlethal means of restraint for use on human suspects, while also being trained in whatever forms of combat are most effective against Pokemon.

Something like a Machoke that just fucking wrestles people to the ground, but does so more effectively/safely than a human, would be nice.

By the way, how much do we know about how Pokemon stand up to, say, gunshot wounds? Some of the tougher ones must have very impressive if not tanklike durability and resistance to harm, but others are 'just animals' and there's no obvious reason they should be more dangerous than ordinary wild animals of the same size and temperament.

[Formless]

Well, there are lots of moves that would cause penetrating injury, cuts, burns, crushing injuries, and concussion (if they were used on a humanoid), and even poisoning or other more exotic conditions, but giving the list a quick scan to refresh my memory very few combine the penetration value AND energy release in a small volume that a bullet can do. Most of the ones that might are high power attacks like Hydro Pump or Explosion. There are poke'mon that use projectiles like rocks, icicles, or seeds, but many of them are low power attacks that potentially hit multiple times rather than high power attacks that hit once. There are some ambiguous examples like swift, though, that might be projectiles OR energy attacks. Its hard to tell.

Magnet Bomb is probably the most similar attack to a bullet that I can find on the list. Depending on the game, it launches one or more "steel bomb that stick to the target." and it never misses (like Swift and a couple others).

Generally, those are the kinds of injuries that a poke'mon is expected to be able to survive. Most of them that aren't things animals can do to each other in real life are things that the natural environment can do; or if not, they are supernatural effects like psychic powers. So generally, they seem to be like animals, but a bit tougher (so maybe harder bones?) and possibly able to heal better than in real life.

[Simon_Jester]

Does the media provide any reference points?

[Irbis]

Does the media provide any reference points?

There are multiple anime episodes with guns in the series (hilariously enough, banned in USA for showing guns in negative light...):



Despite never being used effectively (since it's, you know, cartoon for kids) the show still suggests the bad guys with guns lose because pokemon are just better. Take with grain of salt, thought.

[Formless]

Yeah, all over the place. But a lot of them change a bit based on the artist's interpretation- for instance, in the mainstream anime no one gets seriously hurt or injured (unless its convenient for the plot). Oftentimes, you will see claws and projectiles glowing for some reason (re: because censorship). Whereas in Poke'mon Adventures (the most famous manga) pokemon are routinely shown delivering and regenerating from grievous wounds. The most infamous example was early in the comic where a scyther (a giant praying mantis with sharp forelimbs) cuts an arbok (a giant hooded snake) in half. The snake later regenerates its lower body.

One of the status effects in the game is "frozen", and they have always depicted it as exactly that-- the poke'mon is frozen in solid ice. And this is not normally lethal to poke'mon.

But some things are consistent. Electric attacks can almost always cause arcing electricity even if it requires the poke'mon to make physical contact, fire moves are always what they sound like (flamethrower is a breath of fire, fire spin is a fire tornado, etc.), and ice beam works like Mr. Freeze's ice gun. Stuff like that. The animators love battles ending with dust getting kicked up from impacts or explosions. And many, many pokemon are capable of throwing similarly sized pokemon around several meters with their attacks.

Origins is somewhere between Adventures and the mainstream anime. You see a trainer command its pokemon to use bite, it does exactly that; and it looks painful. But they avoid showing any gore.

Does the media provide any reference points?

There are multiple anime episodes with guns in the series (hilariously enough, banned in USA for showing guns in negative light...):

Officially, its because the censors didn't like showing guns being pointed at children. Same rules applied to a lot of 90's cartoons. There was another episode in the same season that got aired where Ash runs into a criminal armed with a gun and he tries to play hero by having Pikachu attack-- Pikachu refuses, and later we learn that it was a police training exercise so no one was in real danger (hence why it got aired). But apparently in that continuity, it takes special training before a poke'mon will willingly attack an armed human.

[madd0ct0r]

I imagine the police would probably find pokemon with one of the sleep inducing attacks useful.

Bulbasuar would fit, but there's about 200 other pokemon with some form of sleep inducer.

[Formless]

Paralyzers like Shock Wave and Stun Spore would also probably work well for them. Don't taze me, Pikachu!

[Zixinus]

Questions regarding the pokédex?

-The one "we" get contains properly-written information, yes? Because you mention that a lot of entries are essentially filled with folklore like "Charizard can melt steel!"." But the pokédex is where these come from. So I take it that the pokédex we get is actually written and edited by professionals and functions a bit more like a specialized wiki (you already mentioned what kind of information is inside)?

- It is mentioned that the pokédex holders have to register the thing with their fingerprint, so it is tied to one person. Does this hold true for these models too? Are there other such security precautions? Will it also beep when I approach another pokédex holder? Will it identify other pokédex holders?

-Also what functions does the pokédex contain? I am guessing that it contains a camera and microphone to identify pokémon. Is the camera that-good with image recognition that it will recognize most pokémon (does it do it through IR? visible spectrum? something else?). Will it recognize footprints? Cries? Does it have extra functions, like smelling? Will it recognize moods and other properties of a currently-scanning pokémon?

- I take it that the pokédex handles the ball IDs and stuff? Is this function replicable with a smartphone with an appropriate hardware?

- Also, will it limit how many active pokéballs (containing pokémon you tamed and own) you can have with you? Will the six-limit rule apply to people using the vending machines? What about people without a pokédex? Will they get around such rules?

- Since Mewtwo obviously pisses on copyright and patent laws, does the pokédex contain information on how it's built? From FAQ of common issues, through repair manuals and instructions, up to even source codes and blueprints? I am asking because I am wondering what happens if it gets damaged and needs to be fixed. Can you buy another one in the vending? Parts?

- Does the pokédex contain functions not directly related to pokémon? Can it be used as a phone? Can pictures/videos be taken with the camera?
In the games they would show what kinds of pokémon are found on a map. Does this do so too? Or does that have to be manually added?

- How good is the battery life? What ports does it have? I assume that the voltage/amperage/type is marked? Will a compatible charger be issued with it? I am presuming that it doesn't run on nuclear batteries or other crazy thing?

- In general, can I buy accessorizes for it from the vending machine?

- I am assuming that it runs on its own software, built in the pokémon world. How compatible is the hardware/software to our computers? Will our computers recognize it, or do we have to reverse-engineer everything?

- The design and nature of the pokédex changes throughout the series and in-universe, by region? Will different vending machines distribute different kinds of pokédex?

Questions about the vending machines and the stuff within:

- I am assuming that the vending machines sell food. Some of these are bound to be fruits and vegetables from the pokémon-world. What if some of these seeds are found to be healthy and planted? Can we recreate plants that pokémon feed off of? Can we eat these foods?

- Are they magically stocked? What happens to the coins? Will they run out? Do they accept items or pokémon?

- I take it that item-balls are inside too. What are the limitations of these?

- Are flutes (or looking at the wiki, recorders or whistles) in? Do these, or other normal instruments, have a profound effect on pokémon or will function like regular instruments? (I can play a flute...)

- Are there other non-directly pokémon items found inside? Like the Silph Scope, bicycles (in item balls, I assume), escape ropes (regular ropes?), escape items (hopefully ones that work better than they look),

- Considering that Mewtwo made these in hope to arm us against a coming Pokemon-apocalypse (Firefox spell-checker has that in its dictionary!), are there items in there that would not be usually found in Pokémarts?

I probably have more later.

By the way, Formless: this thread has made me want to play the old GBC color game. I didn't actually play that game. I am going to end up digging up my sticker-collection (actual trading cards are too expensive for Hungarians). Next, I'll probably be downloading the animé sooner or later. Thanks for having me indule in unwanted nostalgia!