Things about the real world I learned in games

[Slartibartfast]

From Jedi Knight II:

Corpses dissapear when you turn your back at them.

[DPDarkPrimus]

From Jedi Knight II:

Corpses dissapear when you turn your back at them.

Damn sneaky corpses.

[Darth Gojira]

Some more from AOK:

Villagers will have no qualms about fighting swordsmen, knights, or even castles, but you have to tell them first and after they're done.
Twenty war elephants can fit into a castle, but when one is filled with 20 champions, the 21st cannot find any room.
The most advanced Byzantine army can easily defeat the most advanced Turkish army.
Conversions were easy in the Middle Ages, an old man with a book waved at you...unless your religion had the concept of Heresy, because then you explode.
Persian war elephants are VERY smart, they can convert.
Frankish Paladins had no trouble running down British Longbowmen.
Huns didn't need houses.
Byzantine fortifications could be taken down by the simpliest of seige engines.

ROTLFMAO!! Let's not forget that most battles were fought by only twenty men, or that the Aztecs used siege weapons!(If they did, my great10 grandparents would be heart sacrifices). Also, the Aztecs used turtle ships, men can take multiple arrow hits, atheists can hire cheaper spies, mamelukes threw swords, and trebuchets could be set up in only seconds!

[Darth Gojira]

From Jedi Knight II:

Corpses dissapear when you turn your back at them.

Now THAT's what I call decompostion!

[Darth Gojira]

The best swordsmen don't use shields

For rank defensive work, shields are good.....swordsman on swordsman.....they can be a big hindrance.....

So why did my ranks of men-at-arms(with shields) die against enemy ranks of halbrediers(with only a spear)/ Thanks for acertaining the historical accuracy of the game, though.

[Anarchist Bunny]

Things I learned from Resident Evil.

A person who can carry over 1500 grenades can only carry 6 keys at once.

Cops don't wear bras.

You can be whatever you want despite age.(Chris is ex-Air Force *and* an ex-cop at 25; Jill is a munitions expert, classical pianist, chemist, gunsmith, mechanic, ex-cop, ex-Delta Force, *and* the god damn Master of Unlocking at 23; Claire is a demolitions expert, burglar, motorcyclist, locksmith, and a student of the John Woo school of physically impossible
gunfighting at 19; Rebecca is supposed to be a trained medic and a member of an elite police unit at 18; and Steve is a crack pilot, gunman, and can operate seemingly any kind of heavy machinery at the tender age of 17)

Everyone else in the world can run at impossible speeds through impossible routes and complete avoid hostile people and creatures until you show up.

Life is full of plot holes.

Corprate assassin's are the cause of all of life's problems.(If it weren't for irrational busting in and firing men in black with sub-machine guns Marcus wouldn't have become the Leech Queen and cause the Arklay incident, Wesker would have been better prepared to take care of the S.T.A.R.S. members in the Mansion, the Racoon City incedent wouldn't have happened as fast/at all, resulting in Claire not going to Paris to find Chris, resulting in Resident Evil Gun Survivor being the only Resident Evil to take place)

[Anarchist Bunny]

More things I learned from Resident Evil:

Umbrella employee's LOVE puzzles.

People on luxury cruisers commonly carry ammunition for rocket and grenade launchers on them, especally if they are in first class.

Zombies with different color clothing are much more powerful, but somehow naked ones are even more powerful.

A magnum bullet to the head and some highly organicly corrosive acid laced grenades to your torso and genital area will just make you mutate into something more powerful, and in no way effect your inteligence.

[AdmiralKanos]

From all FPS games: rocket launchers and grenades won't even make a mark in a typical door.

[weemadando]

From all FPS games: rocket launchers and grenades won't even make a mark in a typical door.

Hitman -

A 6'2" bald white man can pass easily as a native chinese/HK if he just wears a suit with a red shirt, not a white one.

[The Penultimate Ninja]

This still going on?

Here's one from Freelancer: Either the planets are really small or the player is flying a 30-mile long fighter.

[Spyder]

Generals: A man can take up to 10 tank rounds to the chest before developing a limp.

Starcraft: Marines can aim their assault rifles at the sky and shoot down ships in low orbit the size of Voyager.

Final Fantasy series: Can run into anyone's homes, take what I want, they will not care.

[The Yosemite Bear]

From Jedi Knight II:

Corpses dissapear when you turn your back at them.

Damn sneaky corpses.

Actually after encountering so many nanites in system shock, I deduced that it was the result of the "Nanites" devouring the corpses so that shodan could give me more toys to play with....

[Crayz9000]

What the hell...

GTA3: A light tank can carry an infinite amount of ammunition, blows up cars simply by driving into them, can be rammed by 255 vehicles before catching on fire, and can fly if it points its turret backwards, floors it, and fires at regular intervals.

GTA3: Police will ignore you, no matter how many accidents you're causing, how many red lights you're running, or how fast you're driving, until you do a hit-and-run or scratch the paint on their patrol car.

Half-Life: A lone scientist wearing an HEV and armed only with a crowbar can take on the entire United States Marine Corps, plus the armies of an alien world. (Well, OK, not quite, but you get the idea.)

Unreal: Laser rifles leave strange circular rings in the air.

Unreal Tournament (Original): A converted mining hammer can deflect nukes, rockets, flak shells, bullets, and laser blasts without being damaged. Plus you can use it to jump fifty feet in the air.

Age of Empires 1: A war elephant can take roughly 10 direct catapult and cannon hits before it dies. In the meantime, it can (and will) raze a half-dozen buildings.

Age of Empires 1: Catapults fire cows and peasants.

Age of Empires 1: A black Camaro convertible whose driver has a shoulder-mounted bazooka can destroy anything. Very quickly.

Warcraft II: Touching any wild animal approximately 20 times in rapid succession causes said animal to explode.

Elite Force II Demo: Your Hazard Team mates like running in place directly in front of walls. Even when under heavy fire.

Nethack: Kitchen sinks are readily found even in the deepest dungeons, and are usually attended by succubus dishwashers. Plus, you can identify a magic ring by dropping it down the drain (although getting it back is another matter...)

Carmageddon II: Nuclear missile silos make great racetracks. Plus they have this giant red button that ends the world.

Carmageddon II: Gray-skinned aliens are no match for a red sports car. For that matter, their ships must have been built by the Federation, because driving into one causes it to explode.

[aphexmonster]

I've learned from Russian Attack that a single man with a knife can take out the entire russian army.

I've learned from side scrolling shooters that you can never underestimate how much ammo your opponent ( boss ) needs/has/ will use.

I've learned from Doom and other FPS .... that holding 500 bullets, 50 shotgun shells, 500 plasma bateries, and 50 rockets is perfectly okay while running and fighting endless demons, and you can easily double it all with no problem just buy putting on a backpack the size of a small suitcase.

I've learned from Contra that ammo doesn't mean SHIT

I've learned from mega man that you just can't stop the x-buster

I've learned from blastermaster that tanks can jump 20 feet in the air, fly straight up with ease, drop a thousand feet without any damage, and drive endlessly without needing fuel. Did i mention ammo doesn't mean SHIT ?

I've learned from Judge Dred on super nintendo ( shudders ) that shooting an enemy 5 times in the face doesn't mean shit, but one kick ownz them as they explode.

I've learned from 90% of video games on nintendo and super nintendo that gravity doesn't mean shit, and that when all else fails, start jumping around and shooting like you're having an epilectic seisure with a gun.

[SHODAN]

NES have taught me that

- Dragons breath bubles
- Collecting coins earns extra lifes
- Walking mushrooms and flying turtles can be easily defeated by jumping on them

Playstation have taught me

- Never buy an unmodded console

[The Yosemite Bear]

Shadow Run for the Genisis

1. Killing random passers by gets you lots of money, and improves your abilities.

2. Despite said sociopathic behavior, you are the "Good Guy"

3. The security camera tapes from a sleazy hotel are worth just as much as the secret projects deta from an evil coperation. (Ha!, P0rn rulez)


Pirates (Sid Meyer, Microprose) (Multipal formats)
Every member of your family has part of the same treasure map.
Repetably Looting and Pillaging a hostile city will make them friendlier to you?
Jamaca seems to change sides at least twice a year.

[Robert Treder]

Commandos 2:
- Nazis didn't care if entire patrols went missing, just so long as they never saw a dead or incapacitated body.
- It's okay for your language expert/spy who is fluent in many languages, english included, to have an incredibly thick French accent when speaking English. You can just assume that his German is flawless.
- A 6'4" Irish muscleman can effortlessly bury himself in the soft ground in a matter of seconds.
- Nazis were never suspicious of flying cigarette packs. They always just picked them up and smoked them, rather than discerning their origins.
- If a Nazi saw a bottle of wine on the ground, they would walk over to it, pick it up, and drink it, even though they were on duty.

[Darth Gojira]

What the hell...

Age of Empires 1: A war elephant can take roughly 10 direct catapult and cannon hits before it dies. In the meantime, it can (and will) raze a half-dozen buildings.

Elephants have tougher skin than you think

Age of Empires 1: Catapults fire cows and peasants.

Age of Empires 1: A black Camaro convertible whose driver has a shoulder-mounted bazooka can destroy anything. Very quickly.

Actually, once a priest with martyrism converted my coor death car. I had to build about 12 nuke troopers to surivive!

[Stormbringer]

GTA3: Police will ignore you, no matter how many accidents you're causing, how many red lights you're running, or how fast you're driving, until you do a hit-and-run or scratch the paint on their patrol car.

Funny, that sounds like Detroit and it's cops to me.

[GonK]

What gaming has taught me about life;

When they give you lots of armour/ammo it's time to hit F6 and quicksave cos life is about to get nasty...

Can't reach that power-up on the crate? Simple fire a rocket at your feet and jump.

Any airvent will always have some sort of small nasty jumpy think to attack you usually trying to latch itself onto your head.

Playing too many games can affect your view of reality.
After playing thief you may find yourself hiding in shadows and refering to people as Taffers. No matter how strong the urge is to Blackjack your flatmates this urge must be resisted, remember the mission briefing "No civilian casualties" anyway they don't have anything worth stealing...

[phongn]

DOOM: You can fire a giant Plasma Cannon of Doom, but if you dare turn around before impact it'll suddenly become harmless.