This is the text of a single-page PDF file that I recently made up for fun.
Commandment #6
THOU SHALT NOT KILL
Legal disclaimer #1: exceptions to this commandment include Egyptian slave-owners (Exodus 2:12), touching Mount Sinai (Exodus 19:12), striking your parents (Exodus 21:15), kidnapping (Exodus 21:16), swearing at your parents (Exodus 21:17, Leviticus 20:9), murder (Exodus 21:23), breaking into someone's house (Exodus 22:2), sorcery (Exodus 22:18), bestiality (Exodus 22:19, Leviticus 20:15-16), worshipping other gods (Exodus 22:20), taking advantage of widows and orphans (Exodus 22:22), working on Sunday (Exodus 31:15, Leviticus 23:27, Numbers 15:36), worshipping idols (Exodus 32:28, Deuteronomy 32:21), adultery (Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 22:22), incest (Leviticus 20:11), homosexuality (Leviticus 20:13), marrying both a woman and her mother (Leviticus 20:14), being a medium or spiritualist (Leviticus 20:27), prostitution if you're a priest's daughter (Leviticus 21:9), blasphemy (Leviticus 24:14), being an enemy of Israel (Leviticus 26:7), encroaching upon the Levites' altars (Numbers 1:51, Numbers 3:10, Numbers 18:3), defying the priesthood's authority (Numbers 16), being a Canaanite (Numbers 21:3), having sex with non-Israelites (Numbers 25:1-9), inviting Israelites to non-Israelite religious functions (Numbers 25:16), being a Midianite (Numbers 31:18), living in land that the Israelites want for themselves (Deuteronomy 2:34, Deuteronomy 3:6), being a Hittite, Girgashite, Amorite, Canaanite, Perizzite, Hivite or Jebusite (Deuteronomy 7:1), being a prophet for any religion other than Judaism (Deuteronomy 13:5), suggesting any religion other than Judaism (Deuteronomy 13:6), living in a town where they don't practice Judaism (Deuteronomy 13:12), worshipping other gods or celestial objects (Deuteronomy 17:2), disprespecting a priest (Deuteronomy 17:12), being a false prophet (Deuteronomy 18:20), refusing to become a slave to Israel if it so demands (Deuteronomy 20:10), being a "stubborn and rebellious" child (Deuteronomy 21:18), being a female and having premarital sex (Deuteronomy 22:20) or being raped and not calling out for help (Deuteronomy 22:23), rape (Deuteronomy 22:24), being the child of an idol-worshipper (Deuteronomy 32:24), witholding war booty from the church (Joshua 7:15), being a non-Israelite and living in the town of Jericho (Joshua 6:21), Ai (Joshua 8:25) or Makkeda or Libnah or Lachish or Gezer or Eglon or Hebron or Debir or any surrounding areas (Joshua 10:28-40) or Hazor (Joshua 11:10) or Jerusalem (Judges 1:8) or Zephath (Judges 1:17) or Bethel (Judges 1:25), opposing Israel (Judges 3:21, Judges 4:15), or being chosen as a human sacrifice to God (Judges 11:39), being an Ammonite (Judges 11:29), being a Philistine (Judges 15:15), having something that Samson needs to pay off his gambling debts (Judges 14:18), being part of the same tribe as a rapist (Judges 20:48), dodging the draft (Judges 28:10), being an Amalekite (1 Samuel 15:3-8) or Geshurite or Girzite (1 Samuel 27:8), being chosen as a child sacrifice to make God happy (2 Samuel 21:1,8-9), and many other exceptions (see rest of Old Testament).
Legal disclaimer #2: if you are God, exceptions include "the sons of God having children with the daughters of men" (Genesis 6:1), or being in the same city as a rapist (Genesis 19:24), or disobeying an arbitrary order not to look at your handiwork (Genesis 19:26), or a man "spilling his seed" (Genesis 38:10), or being the children of Egyptians (Exodus 2:29), or being Egyptian soldiers (Exodus 14:28). Other acceptable exceptions include worshipping idols (Exodus 32:35), making unauthorized fire (Leviticus 10:2), being a priest and not taking care of your appearance (Leviticus 10:6), breaking any of the rules in Leviticus (some of which include such harmless acts as eating shellfish or wearing clothes woven from two fabrics, Leviticus 26:14), being ungrateful to God (Numbers 11:1, Numbers 14:33, Numbers 21:5), breaking any of the rules in Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 28:58), living in land the Israelites want (Joshua 10:11), possessing the Ark of the Covenant without being an Israelite (1 Samuel 5:6-12), looking into the Ark (1 Samuel 6:19), touching the Ark without proper reverence (2 Samuel 6:6-7), being the child of an Israelite/Hittite marriage (2 Samuel 12:10-18), completely random targeting for the purpose of taking away King David's guilt (2 Samuel 2:1,10,15), being the blameless child of an idol-worshipper (1 Kings 14:1,9-13), and many other exceptions (see rest of Old Testament).
Legal disclaimer #3: the authority of Old Testament law is disavowed by Christians who observe the New Testament and the "new covenant"... unless they still agree with those laws, in which case selected portions thereof can still be regarded as the infallible, immutable, perfect, absolute moral laws of God.
I've been thinking of putting the PDF for this one on my anti-Creationism website