satan comes up to you in a puff of smoke

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-06-22 03:32pm

A working GSV, fully capable of anything.
With my Mind at the center.

Baron Mordo · Post by **Baron Mordo** » 2003-06-22 04:11pm

Got a light?

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2003-06-22 04:14pm

Depends on the price. If he asks for something concrete that I'm willing to part with, then, sure, let's make a deal. If he asks for something nebulous like my soul, then I'd take that to indicate that 1) souls actually exist, despite the lack of evidence and 2) it must have some real value, if Satan is willing to trade all these things for one. If that was the case, then I'd hold off on making a deal until I found out more about souls and why Satan values them so much, so that I'd be able to determine whether or not I'd be willing to part with mine.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-06-22 04:25pm

See if you can get retail value on second hand souls and become an agent. You'll be up to your neck.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-06-22 07:11pm

I'd tell him to go to hell.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-06-22 07:12pm

Howedar wrote:I'd tell him to go to hell.

I think he'd oblige.

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-06-22 07:20pm

"Go away."

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-06-22 07:26pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:I get into a fiddle contest with him and smack his punkass down, then I get his golden fiddle and laugh in his sorry face.

'Round the mountain run, boy, run.

I'd ask for the perfect donut. Just like Homer. Then I'd eat all but one bite, have that bronzed and hang it around my neck with the engraving, "Suck on this Lucy"

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-06-23 01:22am

Enforcer Talen wrote:and offers to make a deal.

what is your response?

"Ok, I want immortality, fame and fortune, all the women that I want. In exchange, I'll give you this cool leather jacket."

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-06-23 01:40am

Actually, now that I think about it, I would say in a hideously overdone French accent, "Go away, or I shall taunt you a second time."

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-06-23 05:06am

Baron Mordo wrote:Got a light?

Not a light, BUD lite...

Back on topic, I would immediately be bored and walk off with no response.

drifter god · Post by **drifter god** » 2003-06-23 05:14am

i think the first thing id say would be...

oh god no, im on a game show...

then hed hit me for calling him god and leave and id be out of a deal

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-06-23 05:19am

Obviously, long life, prosperity and all that, happy future for the human race etc - in exchange, he can have my soul for eternal torment.

But first, I would drop heavy hints that torture and suffering really turn me on, and that the only thing I fear is eternity in happiness... that'll fox him.

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-06-23 05:35am

I'd ask him to join me on a beer. The rest can come later

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-06-23 05:39am

Admiral Valdemar wrote:I get into a fiddle contest with him and smack his punkass down, then I get his golden fiddle and laugh in his sorry face.

I like the Travis Meyer parody "The Devil Went To Jamaica"

Johnny roll that ball of hash and make sure that it's the bomb
Cause the Devils got the kind of shit they smoke in Vietnam!
You'll get a million in smackeroos in cash if you can cook,
But if you can't the Devil gets your dope!

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-23 06:29am

Ommnipotence.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-06-23 08:15am

*Opens ever ready wishlist*

Well, Mr. Devil, I'd like:

1.To be the Emperor of the World.
2.LotR Elvish immortality.
3.To cure my mental instability.
4.To give all the gift of common sense.
5.To harold in the space age as fast as physically possible.
666.To lose a couple hundred pounds of fat, and then taunt the girls who rejected me by flaunting my enormous wealth and power in their faces. Bitches.

Pending that: "I'll give you ten bucks if you buy me some vodka."

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-06-24 08:47pm

First, I'd like a tour of hell. Then, I'd ask when he collects of souls. Depending on whether or not I find his responses favorable, I might then ask for a much quicker plague to reduce the human population, and introduce a new plague everything 200 years to keep it in check. Or I might ask for access to all video games--past, present and future.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-06-24 09:05pm

Hail Satan!

Easy deal, I name a bunch of stupid people, and Satan goes and kills them in some gruesome way.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-06-24 09:10pm

Weed-making contest.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-06-24 10:13pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:I'd ask "Are you really a lesbian or are you doing it because you think it will make you more popular?"

I told you I was just experimenting in college. *runs away*

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-06-24 11:22pm

I join him in Unholy Alliance of Death and Despair. Muwhaha.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-06-25 12:29am

"Damnit! I told you that's my final offer on hell! You'd have to be an idiot to think you'd get more for your outdated instituition."

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-06-25 01:40am

Cut deal for all the Blues and Rock Musicians in Hell

He get's the souls I get the Ticket sales.

GO ON TOUR!!!

Think about the talent well have.

Ryoga · Post by **Ryoga** » 2003-06-25 02:04am

Yeah, I was wondering when someone was going to mention 'The Devil Went Down to Jamaica'. That's what I'd do; get that motherfucker stoned six ways to next Thursday, and then ask him to do stupid shit until he sobers up. 'Hey Satan, that art-deco church is pretty ugly...hit it with lightning!" "Okay dude." Sure, he'd kick my ass later, but....

Seriously, though, I'm kinda wondering if getting a tour of Hell would be a good idea. Remember those milk ads where the guy appears to have everything he wants, and Satan is posing as God, and claiming it's heaven? Then he finds out there's no milk, and you hear evil laughter and see a puff of smoke? Well, Satan's probably the more trustworthy of the two in the Bible, but I wouldn't put it past an immortal to pull the wool over my eyes on a brief 'visit'.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

satan comes up to you in a puff of smoke

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