213 things you can't do in the military.

[Knife]

I kinda like this one;

The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

This one is tempting on many occasions;

May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the ‘field of honor'.

This one has been violated since the dawn of time;

I should not use government resources to ‘waterproof’ dirty magazines.

Hmmm, that would have been interesting;

I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

[consequences]

And thanks to the Marine Corps for supplying the "Napalm Sticks to Kids" cadence:

Napalm sticks to kids like glue
Sticks to moms and daddies too
Throw some candy in the schoolyard
Watch the kiddies gather round
Lock and load your M-16 now
Mow the little fuckers down

I don't remember the rest...

Thats actually two cadences. There is a shit load of verse that is only a couple lines each that you can string together in any order that makes you happy.

Any way, Lock and Load my .50 calibur is how we sang it.

I've always like the;

A little yellow birdy with a little yellow bill

Landed on my window sill

I lured him in with a piece of bread

AND then I SMASHED his FUCKING HEAD

A little kitten, a baby cat,

was sitting on my welcome mat,

I fed him milk, I made him purr,

And then I burned off all his fur



A tiny mouse, with tiny feet,

was sitting on my toilet seat.

I pushed him in, I flushed him down,

and then I watched the fucker drown

[EmperorChrostas the Cruel]

There are more lines to "the yellow bird cadence":

You should have seen,
tha looka surprise,
before his brains,
shot outa his eyes!

his guts were pink,
I know it's true,
they shot out his ass,
with birdy poo!

Get out of our way,
we're coming through,
If you don't move,
we'll crush you too!

Perhaps this wasn't official, but from our unusualy creative drill sergent.
I was verbally reprimanded for leading the company with this one, (at permanent party in Fort Ord, 127th Signal Battalion)and we were ALL told this cadence was unacceptable, and we were warned. I got away with it once, but anyone ever saying that cadence again would get an article 15. (PC bullshit!)

[Enforcer Talen]

thats odd. the violent and offensive cadences were all we were allowed to do.

[consequences]

There are more lines to "the yellow bird cadence":

You should have seen,
tha looka surprise,
before his brains,
shot outa his eyes!

his guts were pink,
I know it's true,
they shot out his ass,
with birdy poo!

Get out of our way,
we're coming through,
If you don't move,
we'll crush you too!

Perhaps this wasn't official, but from our unusualy creative drill sergent.
I was verbally reprimanded for leading the company with this one, (at permanent party in Fort Ord, 127th Signal Battalion)and we were ALL told this cadence was unacceptable, and we were warned. I got away with it once, but anyone ever saying that cadence again would get an article 15. (PC bullshit!)

Our finishing line was:
The moral of
this story is
If you have pets
Don't bring them here!