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Agent Fisher wrote:And with the Title HALO was meant to be in caps

So change it. This ain't HoS, you know.

yeah but one must always be careful about pissing of the mods.

Do not meddle in the affairs of Mods, For they are cranky, quick to edit, and unspeakably whiny. *scary ghost noises*

Agent Fisher wrote:yeah but one must always be careful about pissing of the mods.

Do not meddle in the affairs of Mods, For they are cranky, quick to edit, and unspeakably whiny. *scary ghost noises*

I am confused, so your whiny as well as cranky?

Ignore the second chapter, I am rewriting that part. My first intention was to do a ground combat thing but i decided to do a space combat one. The next chapter will be coming soon

Cool I have had this on my watch list I liked it so far.

Agent Fisher wrote:Ignore the second chapter, I am rewriting that part. My first intention was to do a ground combat thing but i decided to do a space combat one. The next chapter will be coming soon

Goodie. I like your story alot.


Now for Chapter 1
Since your looking for a review then I shall give MO.

"The Pillar of Spring, Pillar of Summer, and the Pillar of Winter had been upgraded"

That line right there is very dull, even more sence you mentioned they had been upgraded in the last line, maybe you could of mentioned with what, or how they were upgraded.

Also try to use active sentences when possible.

Just my tips for ya. I have to say great story, I can't wait to read chapter 2!

Tech^salvager wrote:

Agent Fisher wrote:Ignore the second chapter, I am rewriting that part. My first intention was to do a ground combat thing but i decided to do a space combat one. The next chapter will be coming soon

Goodie. I like your story alot. Since your looking for a review then I shall give MO.

"The Pillar of Spring, Pillar of Summer, and the Pillar of Winter had been upgraded"

That line right there is very dull, even more sence you mentioned they had been upgraded in the last line, maybe you could of mentioned with what, or how they were upgraded.

Also try to use active sentences when possible.

Just my tips for ya. I have to say great story, I can't wait to read chapter 2!

I meant the first chapter not the second.

I meant the first chapter not the second.

I know Thats why I looked over chapter 1 and gave you MO.

Here I will update my first post so it looks better
Updated.

Chapter 1

1300 hours, September 21, 2552 (Military Calendar)\
UNSC HIGH COMMAND (HIGHCOM) BREIFING/ANNOUNCEMENT ROOM ALPHA-1,
Sydney, Australia, Earth


Admiral Gordon, supreme naval commander, strode to the podium. Now was the moment of truth. Shortly after Reach was lost, every single ship had been recalled. And now a group among the council wanted to abandon Earth and flee to a new world, and the rest of the council was starting to agree with them. Gordon whispered a quick prayer for the words needed now. He reached the podium and faced the council. And the cameras.

"Members of the council and people of Earth. It has been two weeks since the attack and destruction of Reach. Two weeks since our largest colony was razed to the ground. Once the council learned of this, every ship was recalled to Earth. One ship that returned was not expected, the Gettysburg. Aboard this ships were Master Chief SPARTAN-117, Senior Petty Officer SPARTAN-104, SPARTANS-043,-058, and Sergeant Johnson. Two other crew members of the ship did not return, Vice Admiral Whitcomb and Lieutenant Haverson. They sacirificed themselves to take out an entire Covenant fleet, six hundered ships. However the news they brought with them was this. The Covenant now know of Earths location and are on their way. Now many of you are thinking that leaving Earth is looking better all the time. That is what many of you feel is right. But not I!'

"But if we stay we will die!" Someone shouted from the back.

"If we flee we will die! There have been too many retreats, too many comprimises. They invade our space and we fall back. They burn entire worlds, and we fall back. They destroy our largest military base, our largest colony, and we fall back. Now they are knocking on our door and people want to fall back again. I say NO! THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE! THIS FAR, NO FURTHER! And we will make them pay for what every single life they have taken from us!"

"But it will be the end of us!" Shouted the same voice from earlier.

"Then it will be our end! I would have us make such an end, that hundereds of years from now, the Covenant would look back and shudder at the memory of the race that did not flee, that did not cower. We did not go quietly into the night, we stood our ground and defended our home to the last breath! Not as another race that ran away! VICTORY OR DEATH!"

Through out the room it started small and alone. A single person clapping, but soon the entire room was deafened with applause. Gordon stood back from the podium.



Admiral Garewal, chairman of the council, stood and walked to the podium. "Thank you Admiral Gordon, the council will now decide on this issue." The Council rose from their seats and left the room out of a side door. Gordon sat on one of the empety chairs and closed his eyes, there was nothing left to do but pray.

=========

The door opened and the council filed out. As the council sat in their chairs, Admiral Garewal returned to the podium.

"The council has reached a decision. Every single civilian and troop transport capable of Slipspace flight will be loaded with as many people as can be packed in, will be dispatched to a new world, far away. Every other ship, including civilian ships, is to be armed and defend Earth. Every person left on Earth are now conscripted into the UNSC. We shall defend Earth to our last breath!"

What do I have to do to get some reviews?

Its late ill review more in-depth tomrrow.

Promise

Agent Fisher wrote:What do I have to do to get some reviews?

Write a chapter that you have to actually scroll down to read, for starters.

Rogue 9 wrote:

Agent Fisher wrote:What do I have to do to get some reviews?

Write a chapter that you have to actually scroll down to read, for starters.

Yes well, at least i am writing!

And the next chapter will be much much bigger

The story it self is ok just what everyone else says the chapters need to be longer the story sounds cut off at some points because of the length.

Other than that good job.

Been watching First Contact recently?

Kuja wrote:Been watching First Contact recently?

Yeah i have.

Authors note. I am currently ignoring Halo 2 and the arrival of the covenant at the end of the ilovebees.com saga. However I will include parts of that story in here.

The Clam Before the storm

Two weeks later.

"Wake up Admiral," said the elite that was dancing with a grunt. "It is time to wake up."

Admiral Gordon opened his eyes and focused on the small holographic figure on the pedestal next to his bed.

"Rommel, what time is it?" Asked Gordon.

"It is 0600. It was at this time you request a wake up call." Said the A.I.

"Rommel next time I ask that just give me another 30 minutes." Growled Gordon.

The holographic smart A.I. smiled. "Well, arent we in a good mood this morning?"

"Rommel just shut it and let me get ready in peace. Oh, and have someone send coffee."

Rommel chuckled. "Very well, Admiral." He clicked his heels theatrically and winked off the pedestal.

Grodon was tempted to lay his head back down and fall back to sleep. But now he need to get up and prepare for the day. He rolled out of bed and head for the bathroom. Twenty minutes later he walked out showered, shaved and feeling slightly better.

There was a knock on the hatch.

"Come." Said Gordon.

The door opened and in stepped Admiral Harper, carrying a pot of coffee.

"Bill!" Said Gordon. "I didnt expect to see you. Usally you are fussing too much over the Second Fleet to stop in and say hello."

"Well Jim, Second Fleet doesnt really have anywhere to go right now, so I thought I might stop by and say hello."

"Well you are welcome any time. So how are things with the Second?"

"Well we are all getting pretty restless. We arent used to be sitting on our hands."

"Well, I remember that one time when..."

******

Gordon stepped into the command center of the Super Heavy Orbital Defense Platform Sacremento. This platform and four others like it, were the cream of the crop when it came to the Orbital Defense Grid. The Sacremento had two Super Mac guns and four Heavy Mac guns. It was as powerful as four standard defense platforms. The Sacremento had been designated the Command and Control center for the defense of earth space.

Gordon sat down at the confrence table in the center of the room and Rommel appeared a second later.

"Good morning Admiral." Said the A.I.

"Morning, Jim." Said Admiral Garewal.

"Nice to see you Gordie." Said General McPherson, commandant of the Marine Corps.

"Morning people," said Gordon. "So how are things going."

McPherson spoke first. "Well we have finished evacuations. And the left behind are starting to shape up into something like a militia. I still wouldnt take them into combat with me given a choice, but they will do the job when the time comes."

"Good. Ryan, how are things going with the fleet?" Asked Gordon.

"Well, we have managed to scrape up three hundered active duty capital ships. We only managed to get fifty ships out of the mothballs, worth putting crew on. The rest of the mothballs, well we got the fastest ships we could, set them up to be remoted controlled, and loaded nukes on them. That give us another fifty ships. So we have four hundered ships to throw at them." Said Admiral Garewal.

"Good," said Gordon.

"Admiral, there is something eles." Said Rommel, who could barely contain he's glee.

"What is it Rommel?" Asked Gordon.

"We may have gained the biggest equalizer of them all. Sir, last night while you were asleep, there was a break in at Chala Base, in North America. During the breakin a device was activated. It was the same device that made that kick in slip space that knocked out the ship that was coming back from the ONI mission. Well this time the device has somehow cut off all slip space jumps in a sphere around Earth. The edge stops short of the moon, but there is no way a ship can make a jump in that bubble. In other words no more pinpoint jumps past our defenses. And we think the Covies dont know yet."

"Hot damn, that may just give us the edge we need!" Said Gordon.

Gordon spoke again. "Ok, here is what I have planned. We arrange for our nuke ships to be behind the Covies when the appear. As soon as the show up, I want us to nuke them with those ships. When the nukes have softened them up we fire volleys of MAC rounds at the Covies. If we can whittle them down like that, then we have our forces move in for the kill. ONI figures the Covies will send only six hundered ships, since they thats how much they were sending in the beginning. With the ODG we should be able to hold the line. Now we should put these plans into motion ASAP."

******

A week later.

Gordon burst into the C&C. One of the techs called out. "SIR COVIES FORCES INBOUND! ETA TEN MINUTES. HOLY SHIT, SIR SCANS SHOW EIGHT HUNDERED SHIPS!"

"Very well. Send the word to the fleet, get the nukes ready now. And give me system wide comms."

The tech flipped a switch and pointed at Gordon.

"Comrades, friends and fellow soldiers of the UNSC, greetings. This is Admiral Gordon, abroad the Sacremento. I speak to you today as brothers. Today we continue something that has been continueing for twentyseven years. Your fathers and mothers before you have fought this fight. And fought it well. And now so will you. The vigor you have brought to this fleet reminds me of the times before the Covenant. The days of the first SPARTANs. When the know galaxy trembled at the sound of weapons. Now it will tremble from our resolve." Throughout the fleet men were rushing to their stations, bulkheads were closing. "The Covie bastards are expecting us to be weak and disorganized. What they dont know is that we have the advantage now. We know where they are going to attack. We also have a few other tricks. I want you to know that you are all heros. Heros for being willing to lay down your life for another. Today is a glorious day. Today we will show the Covenant what it means to fear. Today we sail into history." All throughout the fleet singing broke out. It was the UN anthem. "So, its everyman to his station or gun. Sharps the word and quicks the action. For Earth, for home, and for the victory."

Now there was silence. People shifted nervously at their stations. Then there was a flash on one of the monitors and they were here. "Christ theres a shitstorm of them," someone breathed.

The UNSC fleet formed up with a few hundered mobile repair stations to be used as shields. All among the fleet, weapons were loaded, safties were removed, firing solutions computed. And so the two forces just stared at each other. For a full minute no one moved. Not a single shot was fired. There was a single transmission broadcasted, no one knew who broadcast it. "For Earth." Suddenly there was movement. A single Longsword went shooting headlong towards the Covenant. Seconds later his squadron and every other fighter, bomber, and attack craft were screaming towards the Covenant.

Gordon still had his system wide transmission. "All ships you are clear to engage." He cut the transmission. He turned towards his holographic German Field Marshall A.I. "Rommel, you have control of the MAC gun network. As soon as they come into range, hit them with everything you got."

A smile appeared on Rommels face. "With pleasure Admiral. They will enter firing range in thirty seconds."

Thirty seconds later the first shots of the Battle of Sol were fired.

"Comrades, friends and fellow soldiers of the UNSC, greetings. This is Admiral Gordon, abroad the Sacremento. I speak to you today as brothers. Today we continue something that has been continueing for twentyseven years. Your fathers and mothers before you have fought this fight. And fought it well. And now so will you. The vigor you have brought to this fleet reminds me of the times before the Covenant. The days of the first SPARTANs. When the know galaxy trembled at the sound of weapons. Now it will tremble from our resolve." Throughout the fleet men were rushing to their stations, bulkheads were closing. "The Covie bastards are expecting us to be weak and disorganized. What they dont know is that we have the advantage now. We know where they are going to attack. We also have a few other tricks. I want you to know that you are all heros. Heros for being willing to lay down your life for another. Today is a glorious day. Today we will show the Covenant what it means to fear. Today we sail into history." All throughout the fleet singing broke out. It was the UN anthem. "So, its everyman to his station or gun. Sharps the word and quicks the action. For Earth, for home, and for the victory."





Now that little speech reminds me of the one Sean Connery made at the begining of "Hunt For The Red October."

Fisher, you have support from a fellow Halo fanatic. Now write faster, you bastard.

THE CLAM BEFORE THE STORM!

Sorry dude, I had to do it.

SpecWar826 wrote:"Comrades, friends and fellow soldiers of the UNSC, greetings. This is Admiral Gordon, abroad the Sacremento. I speak to you today as brothers. Today we continue something that has been continueing for twentyseven years. Your fathers and mothers before you have fought this fight. And fought it well. And now so will you. The vigor you have brought to this fleet reminds me of the times before the Covenant. The days of the first SPARTANs. When the know galaxy trembled at the sound of weapons. Now it will tremble from our resolve." Throughout the fleet men were rushing to their stations, bulkheads were closing. "The Covie bastards are expecting us to be weak and disorganized. What they dont know is that we have the advantage now. We know where they are going to attack. We also have a few other tricks. I want you to know that you are all heros. Heros for being willing to lay down your life for another. Today is a glorious day. Today we will show the Covenant what it means to fear. Today we sail into history." All throughout the fleet singing broke out. It was the UN anthem. "So, its everyman to his station or gun. Sharps the word and quicks the action. For Earth, for home, and for the victory."





Now that little speech reminds me of the one Sean Connery made at the begining of "Hunt For The Red October."

Yes, and the last part is from Master and Commander.

Losonti Tokash wrote:Fisher, you have support from a fellow Halo fanatic. Now write faster, you bastard.

Glad to here it. Well, now the real battle will begin.

Pretty cool.

I am having an open call for ship names and ship captains. If you want in this is your chance.

Are you taking suggestions for names, are you asking if people want to be in your story, or both?

Agent Fisher wrote:I am having an open call for ship names and ship captains. If you want in this is your chance.

Need an Elite?