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Verilon, you're obviously depressed because your life just happened to be somewhat hard and full of shit and empty of goodthings since a long time, there's a famous quote that says (one day for you the next on you), but i think that sometimes it happen to stay (one day on you) for a long time, maybe a couple of years, but all you have to do is stand-up straight and try to stay-up as much as you can, because eventualy the day will come when it's (one day for you) and you can grab on to it forever and compensate for all the waisted years, you might die before that day comes, or you might have a nervous break down, try not to, hold on to a job, paint, sculpt or sign-up to the nearest gym, go down to the local pub 2 or 3 times a week, have plenty of safe perverted sex, if you're not very attractive don't hesitate to call a man prostitute and suck the hell out of him, watch a lot of porn and don't make a diet, eat weeds and grains and stop junk food and mayonaise, roll a ajoint from time to time, and stay away from heroin or you're doomed.

Pavel wrote:Verilon, you're obviously depressed because your life just happened to be somewhat hard and full of shit and empty of goodthings since a long time, there's a famous quote that says (one day for you the next on you), but i think that sometimes it happen to stay (one day on you) for a long time, maybe a couple of years, but all you have to do is stand-up straight and try to stay-up as much as you can, because eventualy the day will come when it's (one day for you) and you can grab on to it forever and compensate for all the waisted years, you might die before that day comes, or you might have a nervous break down, try not to, hold on to a job, paint, sculpt or sign-up to the nearest gym, go down to the local pub 2 or 3 times a week, have plenty of safe perverted sex, if you're not very attractive don't hesitate to call a man prostitute and suck the hell out of him, watch a lot of porn and don't make a diet, eat weeds and grains and stop junk food and mayonaise, roll a ajoint from time to time, and stay away from heroin or you're doomed.

i think he already does all the drinking and smoking.

Wish I had more sympathy bud, but I've heard that all to much. Lash out if you like, but I agree with the fact that ones own destiny falls in their own hands. If you want to go out, then go out, the world does not come to those who sit idle. I'm not going to say that its going to get better, I can't look into the future and tell you that alls going to be alright. Lifes a bitch, nothing more to say about it, so one can get in their own way or get out of their own way. If I sound callous, sorry, but thats the only true advice that I or anyone can give. Find something you like, do it, if you must do it alone then do it alone, perhaps some guests will join you after you get started. Fate and Destiny falls in ones hand, its all just a choice of what you do with it.

Become evil and soulless. That way, you won't have to deal with any pesky positive emotions, like love, or pity, or any sort of empathy.

Just hang on, verilon. It's about time for your life to turn around. You know as well as I that this isn't our time of year. We both are feeling depressed about certain things. But, we always get through it. And you will find someone, just give it time. You're still very young. I didn't find my special someone until I was almost 21. Take it easy and live your life.

Verilon, I think the best thing for you is quite seriously to seek professional help. I am aware that psychological consults cost considerably over in the US, but they really can help you.
As for me, well I've had to deal with Asperger's Syndrome. It wasn't easy, but mainly I made it through with help from my family, and I know lead a balanced and happy life.
You need to get out. You need to meet people, because in those people will be the one person you can tell everything, and the one person that will listen to all you say.
Meeting this person will build up your confidence. With that confidence you can find a job, get some money together and be able to go on a short trip, even if it is just upstate for the week or something. Just get away for a little bit and think on where you are, where you've been and how to avoid ever going there again...

Sincerely,
Daniel

<pep talk mode> Come on Verilon! Dust yourself off and look on the bright side! You still have your health right? And hey, you will always have me to kick around(figurativly speaking). </pep talk mode> but in all seriousness, my friend. What kind of job skills do you have?

Kelly Antilles wrote:Just hang on, verilon. It's about time for your life to turn around. You know as well as I that this isn't our time of year. We both are feeling depressed about certain things. But, we always get through it. And you will find someone, just give it time. You're still very young. I didn't find my special someone until I was almost 21. Take it easy and live your life.

erm... 21 is pretty young for finding your special someone ( i assume that your definition of special someone is the person you spend the rest of your life with.)

salm wrote:

Kelly Antilles wrote:Just hang on, verilon. It's about time for your life to turn around. You know as well as I that this isn't our time of year. We both are feeling depressed about certain things. But, we always get through it. And you will find someone, just give it time. You're still very young. I didn't find my special someone until I was almost 21. Take it easy and live your life.

erm... 21 is pretty young for finding your special someone ( i assume that your definition of special someone is the person you spend the rest of your life with.)

I'm a special case.

And people wonder why I'm a cynical, sarcastic realist... far easier to live as such, not to say it won't get better inevitably, but till it does all there is to do is square ones shoulders, brush off the dust from getting kicked flat on your ass by a curveball from life, and say in the most marine voice you can muster out "Thank you sir, can I have another"... honostly, don't be like me, just go out and do what you want and don't let anything get in your way.

Verilon,

You always seem so damn chipper on these boards its hard to see you in a state like that. Howevre one thing needs to be clear, its OK to feel lonely, we all do at one point or another, but a relationship, being in or out of one shuld never DEFINE us. We are who we are not because we are seeing someone or there's someone there to hold us. We are who we are whgen we're alone and when we're with someone. Another person cannot define us nor can they complete us. To look from someone else to help make us feel whole is both unfair to you and the other person. The other person wants to be with someone that is already complete, not to be the final piece in the jigsaw puzzle that is you.

To look to another to do that is an insult to yourself.

As to the lack of motivation...that's a symptom of depression and I would try to talk to someone. I went through a similar funk back in College that lasted throughout my Sophomore year. You cannot think your way out of it, you need to talk to tohers and air how you feel, because when you are depressed EVERYTHING is in a haze and you see all of life through that awful haze. It distorts all your perceptions and makes things even more difficult for you and you spiral deeper into the depression. It's a viscious cycle.

Just know that there are plenty of folks here that care.

Ver, I sympathize with what you are going through, because I am there myself at the moment (relationships, jobs, friends, etc). I understand. Please trust that I do have some idea what you are feeling, and have had a lot of practice (11 years) listening to my friends and family deal with their depression. I wasn't a psych minor for nothing...

I know we don't know each other very well yet, but please, if you ever need someone to talk to, I will be here for you. Whenever, wherever. Just let me know.

Kelly Antilles wrote:

salm wrote:

Kelly Antilles wrote:Just hang on, verilon. It's about time for your life to turn around. You know as well as I that this isn't our time of year. We both are feeling depressed about certain things. But, we always get through it. And you will find someone, just give it time. You're still very young. I didn't find my special someone until I was almost 21. Take it easy and live your life.

erm... 21 is pretty young for finding your special someone ( i assume that your definition of special someone is the person you spend the rest of your life with.)

I'm a special case.

Andrew J. wrote:Become evil and soulless. That way, you won't have to deal with any pesky positive emotions, like love, or pity, or any sort of empathy.

Well, I'm already evil, I've demonstarated thjat plenty of times....I just can't do the soulless thing for reasons mentioned above.

Pavel: It's been going for a few weeks now....and frankly, I am scared of what I am like when I am depressed....I don't like to want to cry, I don't like feeling sad...Ever.

Sparkticus: I am already seeing a shrink.

Stravo: Again, I'm seeing a shrink.....but it is weird, because an emotional attatchment as I have said I needed is a lot of times what makes me happy. It may sound really weird, but I do actually have to have one to be able to feel *truly* happy. Sure, I am generally a happy person, but I will be happy *all* the time when I have someone that cares about me as much as I care about them.

Zaia: Thanks for your sympathy....I guess it was just time for me to let out for once.....I am always listening to other people's problems...

verilon wrote:

Andrew J. wrote:Become evil and soulless. That way, you won't have to deal with any pesky positive emotions, like love, or pity, or any sort of empathy.

Well, I'm already evil, I've demonstarated thjat plenty of times....I just can't do the soulless thing for reasons mentioned above.

Ah ah, you think you are evil, but if you feel any sort of affection for anyone at all, you're just a pantywaist. Now if you were frustrated because of lust that would be perfectly in keeping with being evil, but your emotional attachments show you to be the goody-two-shoes wannabe that you are.

Andrew J. wrote:

verilon wrote:

Andrew J. wrote:Become evil and soulless. That way, you won't have to deal with any pesky positive emotions, like love, or pity, or any sort of empathy.

Well, I'm already evil, I've demonstarated thjat plenty of times....I just can't do the soulless thing for reasons mentioned above.

Ah ah, you think you are evil, but if you feel any sort of affection for anyone at all, you're just a pantywaist. Now if you were frustrated because of lust that would be perfectly in keeping with being evil, but your emotional attachments show you to be the goody-two-shoes wannabe that you are.

Jeez, you just can't take a joke......and no, soulless would mean loveless, not evil. No one saud that you can't love someone and still be evil. ANd *shudder* at the thought of being a goody-two-shoes. I may help out every now and then, but that does NOT make me a goody-two-shoes.

verilon wrote: Jeez, you just can't take a joke...

And you can't recognize one, either.

Andrew J. wrote:

verilon wrote: Jeez, you just can't take a joke...

And you can't recognize one, either.

Hey, so I forgot my smilies....

To verilon: Perhaps you've answered this already, but have you gotten yourself checked out for clinical depression?

Shinova wrote:To verilon: Perhaps you've answered this already, but have you gotten yourself checked out for clinical depression?

Yes, and no, I'm not depressed.....weird, innit?