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Was playing Terrorist Hunt on Rainbow Six 3.

At the spawn point, there's a pretty big hill that goes up to the mansion entrance and the first terrorists. Dumbass that we're playing with decides to run ahead of everybody.

Me: Hey, moron. There's about 2 million terrorists inside that door. Think you should wait a minute?
Moron: No, it's OK, I have auto--*dead*.

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Another Terrorist Hunt game.

There were about 3 or 4 terrorists on the other side of the door, so I threw a WP grenade through the crack. Or, at least, I tried to because it bounced off the door and rolled underneath my feet.

Me: Ah, fuck.
Friend: Asshat.
*BLAM*

Anyone who ever played the original Rainbow 6 on PC will recall this phrase (or its equivalent) being tossed around liberally during games:

"STICKY GRENADE! STICKY GRENADE! STIC-" BOOOOM!

For anyone who's wondering what the fuck I'm referring to, sometimes a grenade would get caught on certain things, like the player who's throwing its hand, or it would just get stuck floating in mid air in a doorway you just tried to toss it through. Not to bad if its a flashbang. Damn awkward if its a frag.

It was always amusing though at LANs to experience this. Just hearing a huge shout of "STICKY GRENADE!" rise up from everyone playing as they scattered for cover leaving (inevitably) some poor fucker standing there wondering what was going on.

Me and two of my friends were playing an Operation Flashpoint mission in co-op. Me and the other guy had to clear out an AA site, before the third one could do a bombing run with a plane.

After an intense firefight around a Russian AA gun . . .

Me: Okay, I think we got them all. AA site is clear.

*my friend empties his rifle at an escaping enemy soldier*

Me: It's clear *now*.

We two crawl to an edge of a cliff overlooking the area to which our friend is supposed to make his bombing run.

Me: Is that an AA gun over there?

I start to write a message "It's an AA gun! PULL OUT! ABORT!" the moment when our friend's plane rumbles over us, gets instantly shot to pieces, crashing on the ground. When a message "sdes killed" appears on the ground, I hit enter and send the message.

My friend, now observing the game: Yeah . . . I noticed.




From a D&D game my friend was playing (it was around 4 AM).

Game master: An ordinary man approaches you.

One of the players: What does he look like?

Game masters: Three legs, two . . . -- Let's call it quits and go to sleep, okay?

Oberleutnant wrote: I start to write a message "It's an AA gun! PULL OUT! ABORT!" the moment when our friend's plane rumbles over us, gets instantly shot to pieces, crashing on the ground. When a message "sdes killed" appears on the ground, I hit enter and send the message.

My friend, now observing the game: Yeah . . . :) I noticed.

Thats why OFPs integrated voice support is so, so very good...

And what kind of pilot was your friend anyway? If a Zeus could take him down then he's soft. If you aren't having to actively dodge trees and buildings while going 350+ in your A-10 then you aren't trying. Also, knowing all the maps better than I know my own city kinda helps in that matter. Its why I was nearly always given the pilot role in my local games - people like being able to get out of the blackhawk alive.

I constantly get annoyed "When are yo going to get that microphone?" comments from the friends I play with. None of us is a really good pilot, but he's the best . . .

Have you tried FDF Mod? It can be downloaded from koti.mbnet.fi/fdfmod

Really adds new depth to the whole game. Are there any good mods or co-op missions you like?

When i was showing the AvP demo:

Me: "Tense game isnt it? But wait untill you see these facehuggers. Those are the worst. Damn I hate them"

Friend: "meh"

Me (getting down the elevator that leads to a room with facehugger):
"Oh shit OH SHIT. Now comes the part with that fucking facehugger. God I hate those. Always scare the crap out of me when they get me..."

Friend: "..."

Me: "... you hear that sound? That's him! God he must be close. Man the tension, I cant stand it nomore.

Friend: "Look, stay calm, grab some more flares and..."

*FOEMP* ---- FACEHUGGER ATTACK!!! (I die)

Friend: ""JHAAAARGH!!!!" screams, trows arms in the air, leans backwards, topples over his chair on the ground. All in 2 seconds

Me (laughing): "Told you these things were scary"

Oberleutnant wrote::D

I constantly get annoyed "When are yo going to get that microphone?" comments from the friends I play with. None of us is a really good pilot, but he's the best . . .

Have you tried FDF Mod? It can be downloaded from koti.mbnet.fi/fdfmod

Really adds new depth to the whole game. Are there any good mods or co-op missions you like?

I play a lot with the BAS stuff, but most of it is too unbalancing towards the US. Which is why the Nashe Ourija (I think thats how its spelt) or "Our Weapons" project has garnered so much attention from me - excellent russian weaponry of many different types.

Also play around a lot with the Vietnam mods. Though I am yet to try ANY of the WW2 stuff.

Playing AvP original co-op at a LAN recently:

*thoomp thoomp thoomp thoomp thoomp*

Merrick: "Who's got the grenade launcher?"

Bless: "Bice."

Me: "We're fucked."

*boom boom boom boom boom* As we all die from friendly fire.

And from a species DM game later

Me (as Alien): "mmmm... Marine snack" *headbite*

Merrick/Bice (who were 2 of the unfortunate marines): "STOP THAT!"

From Allegiance:

There's a starbase that's being subjected to an all out attack by our team. We even had a cap ship in on it. The other team, of course, is defending with everything they have when our cruiser launches a tac nuke at the asteroid.

Guy in the base: OH, SNAP!
*base explodes*

This happened to my brother in America's Army: He fired a RPG at one of the enemy players, but gets shot dead by the same guy while the RPG is still in flight, so of course the other guy dies about a second later.

Now that they are both dead and in spectator mode, the other guy messages:
"1 for 1, eh?"
to which my brother replies:
"Yeah, but at least they're not picking me up with a mop"

From Sven Co-op: (this conversation was composed of people using microphones, voice macros, and spamming HLSS soundbites.)

Random Player 1: Enemy Robot Grunts spotted!

Random Player 2: Medic!

Random Player 3: ....ring ring ring ring, BANANA-PHONE, BANANA-PHONE!

Random Player 4: Fucking hell, they have 700 health!

Random Player 3: ....i've got this feeling, it's so appealing, for us to get together and....

Random Player 1: We're all gonna die!

Random Player 3: ....sing, Sing! Ring ring ring ring.....

Random Player 5: Wild, uncontrolled bursts!

Operation Flashpoint coop, custom mission made by my friend.

The basic premise (as I can recall) was that we have to get somewhere and blow up something (T72 afair), of course with maximum discretion. The mission involved getting into the city, blowing up the said tank and getting out.

Of course we tripped the alarm and things got messy. Since the Opflash BlackOp character is designed to be literally invisible when prone (I had tons of russians standing on me and never saw me) I decided to sneak to the tank (active now) lay a satchel and get the hell out.
So there I am, lying in front of an entrance to a bar, half covered, with the tank 50meters before me.

My friend: - Be careful, if that thing notices you youre dogshit.
Me: - Nah, dont worry. This game is designed in a very stupid way, you can't really be seen when youre prone.
Tank: - Target Acquired *RATATATATA*
Me: - ^@&%#%@#&%!&%!&^@#

We were sneaking & generally behaving blackopish for about an hour straight, so it was kinda frustrating.

This occured in a RPG session between my bro and me. He was in this badly damaged Grasshopper, duking it out with a Griffin before I decreed both mechs too badly damaged to continue fighting. His kill kill kill nature led him to do the following

Bro: *Walks up mech to mech. Open Cockpit. Start firing autopistol.*
Enemy Mechwarrior:*Use mech hand to stick up middle finger*

The next 5 minutes involved the exchange of crude and cruder insults.


P.S(The oppo had a damaged cockpit just in case you were wondering)

Heh, that reminded me of a Battletech game a while back...two guys were in LAMs, and they were pounced by a few SRM-carriers, which proceeded to volley-fire entire loads at them. Every last one of which missiles, this enormous wall of missile asswhoop, and they just dance through the storm untouched.

GM: That was fucking awesome, you get Robotech Skill Points!

lol about whitehaven's comments...

actually my simular quote was in OGRE.....

me constantly ramming his ogre with tanks...

and all of my attacks being aimed at his treads and nuke missiles... (yes I took penalties, but I still managed to knock those weapons and only those weapons out..

Now realizing he has nothing to get in range of my Artillery fire, and is down to one MP a turn.....


realizing I spent half my points on artillery positions.....

realizing he has a gauntlet of death between him and my command posts made up of all of my artillery....

*can I just call it quits now?*

I have a friend who never has forgiven me for using him as sacrificial bait in a Battletech game, and he constantly refers to it.

"Yeah, have you told them about your brilliant 'stand on the hill and take it like a man' strategy?"

"No, I know what your plan will be, don't tell me. 'Go stand on this hill...'"

"What, he lost half his units? He probably told them 'stand on the hill...'"

Starfleet Battles...

we decided blackhole + asteriods....

me playing orions charge right in, with full reieforcement, and cut between asteriods....watches fed cruiser tear it's self in half trying to catch me.... (then the rest of it falls into the black hole....)

"Running into the asteriods are you mad!"
"not half as mad as someone crazy enough to follow me."

We've got a whole bunch, from different tabletop games and occasional IRC logs.



"I submit that a sufficiently violent anal rape has to be Aggravated."
--Joel, exploring the concept of Personal Horror in World of Darkness


Player: "Nice horse. Where'd you dig it up?"
NPC: "I did not dig it up. I summoned it forth."
Player: "Oh."
--Nicoz realizes that Kumbanigash the Black isn't the world's most normal indivitual.


"'THAC0' <-- the silliest RPG abbreviation ever. 'Huhuhuh, let's come up with a real stupid abbreviation for a real complicated concept on the world's worst fucking rule and then everyone will know we're really smart'"
--Mogge, on role playing construction


"He'll be buried in the ground, where I don't have to look at him."
--Imperial pilot Nyub, who wants space free from fallen comrades


GM: "You empty your guns into the guy, out of eight shots each you hit him with eleven bullets simultaneously."
Player: "He he... he's not so tough now is he..."
GM: "He slowly crawls back to his feet again."
Player: "What the fuck?! Fucking POS guns! I throw mine at him and pull something bigger."
GM: "The pistol hits him straight in the forehead and he falls to the ground, dead."
--Joel and Pålle find out how russian army pistols are best used in Twilight 2000


Player 1: "Ooo fuck. Nicoz? Hey, I feel a warping in space-time."
Player 2: "Denelian, tell me spacetime is supposed to be warped."
Player 1: "It's supposed to be warped! It's great if it's warped!"
GM: "Reality turns white around you."
Player 2: "Denelian... You lied to me."
--Nicoz and Denelian like reality the way it is.


Player 1: "I walk up to the corpses and, you know, do my usual thing."
Player 2: "If he tries anything obscene, I stop him!"
--Inquisitor Indarion keeping the situation under control


Player: "Hey guys, look! A half elf!"
--Micke reflects over the outcome of hitting elves with big swords

There were dozens of great one-liners, zingers, and crazy stunts amongst the group of friends I game with, the KVG (Kanawha Valley Gamers).

At Marcon in Ohio: A friend is playing a Gangrel in the LARP, and has found a spot to sit and be a hermit as his character hints says he should. Slowly, a gang of Vampires start to gather around and smooze up to him. Finally he discovers that a rumor had started that he was the Gangrel Justicar....

Another time at Marcon: The KVG were playing Assimites in the Vampire LARP, and through a mix of cunning words and gullible gamers had managed to kill and drain 8 Vampires. As they were walking down the hallway, a large group of irate Vampires spot them and start stalking their way. "Hey! You in the trenchcoat! STOP!" The KVG bravely run away.

During a game of of DragonStorm, where the characters are all shapeshifters: John, the werewolf, is standing on top of a very deep, deep cliff, watching the flying shapeshifters fighting a monster down in the canyon below. John decides he wants to join in the fight. "Ah'm jumpin' off the cliff, an' landin' on that thing's back!"
"you're WHAT?"
"I'm jumpin', don' a swan dive onta his back!" He misses, although he is caught before he hits bottom. From then on, any stupid trick in that game is refered to as the 'Werewolf SwanDive'.

This is also the game where we name the town we found "WeBad". The caves we discover beneath it become known as the "UnderBad".

A friend of mine playied the Brujah primogen, and second oldest/mostpowerful/most seniority to the Sacramento prince.

Well some of the prince's childer, decieded that the associates of the Brujah Primogen should be "Put in their place", so a harrassment campaign was started...

The problem?

The Vampires showed up while my friend, my self and several others we're playing illuminati. We simply switched from playing the card game, to roll playing as members of the Illuminati around the vamps...

Vamp: your nothing, your a meal
Me: your master wouldn't like you breaking your rules. Especially with us.
Vamp: what can't know about vampires
Me: Excuse me you have had the stupidity to interrupt a meeting between a primogen and our organization. Who do you think manipulates Oliver Stone into making some Conspiracy Theory Movie so that the sheep don't figure out who REALLY runs things?


the worst up shot, was I had to go to one of the Sac area official LARPS and attend in the Elysium, as the Illuminated Represenitive...

The Yosemite Bear wrote: the worst up shot, was I had to go to one of the Sac area official LARPS and attend in the Elysium, as the Illuminated Represenitive...

Please, Please tell me you were the Gnomes....

So, I'm running this AD&D 2ndE game way back when and my players' party (4 people) is around 7th to 9th level. They track an orc raiding party into a secret hideout where they witness a huge gathering of orcs (numbering in the hundreds), backed up by ogres, stone giants (at least a couple of dozen) and other creatures they did not recognize. They are still undiscovered.

ME: What do you do now?
Mage (played by my cousin): I cast a fireball into the middle of the gathering.
ME:

*~70 orcs are incinerated by fireball*
*monsters notice party*
*squish*

Correct answer? Get the hell out of Dodge and warn the nearby kingdom garrison that they are in all likelihood going to suffer a major attack very soon, then come back with serious reinforcements.

----------------

Another AD&D game, same group, different characters, around 8th level.

*party sees a 10-foot, slovenly looking giant*
Party's dwarven fighters: Hill giant! Let's kill it, they're easy!

*charge*

*mountain giant hears their charge, turns around and smacks the first one for 48 out of 89 hit points in a single blow, forcing system shock roll*
PLAYERS:

------------------

Those for now. There are others...

Edi

I'm running a Vampire Masquerade game and the players have stumbled into a crypt beneath an office building. They're not liking this at all but bravely continue on. I describe in great detail as they find a great stone sarcophogi and it slowly rumbles open. Long taloned fingers covered in the dust of ages peek out around the corner of the top and the squeal of stone on metal as the top slowly comes away revealing gleaming fangs in the hooded darkness of the depths of the tomb. Slowly a figure---

Player 1: "We run away."

Me: "Huh?"

Player 1: "Don't go any further we run away."

Player 2: "If there's a window I fling myself through it."

Me: "But---"

Player 3: "We're running like little girls and we don't care."

Frustrated mumbling from me as I have to rework the encounter due to outright player cowardice. I actually always appreciated he group's practicality.

LadyTevar wrote:

The Yosemite Bear wrote: the worst up shot, was I had to go to one of the Sac area official LARPS and attend in the Elysium, as the Illuminated Represenitive...

Please, Please tell me you were the Gnomes....

Worse I was an Alien....

During a prelude adventure in a custom sci-fi universe, the players get to play pirates to get a general feel for the system and the setting.

GM: Okay, the frieghter is crippled, they've given you their cargo and their important passengers. What are you doing now?
CAP: Well, we could go to the core worlds, try to ransom off this guy.
WEPS: The Core? Are you fucking crazy? Do you know what will be waiting for us there? Dreadnoughts and battleships and all sorts of nasty shit waiting to take us down. We're in a glorified fucking frieghter here.
CAP: Yeah, but think of the money we could make off of this guy. The syndicate would probably love us forever.
WEPS: I'm telling you, I think it's a bad idea. We can ransom this pendajo just fine out here.
CAP: Okay, well, we'll worry about that later.
GM: What are you doing about the other ship?
CAP: I'd rather not have any witnesses. Let's finish them off.
WEPS: Are you sure? We could take that ship back to the syndicate...
CAP: Too much of a hassle. Finish them off, WEPS.
WEPS: Whatever you say Cap.
(WEPS locks the other ship and starts to send a transmission)
WEPS: Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that our Captain, Karl-
(CAP cuts the transmission)
CAP: What the hell are you doing?
WEPS: Turn it back on.
CAP: No! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!
WEPS: They're going to die anyway, what the fuck difference does it matter if they know who you are or not?
CAP: Just kill them!
(WEPS draws a laser pistol on the Captain)
WEPS: Let me finish what I was saying, asshole.
CAP: No!
(WEPS burns the Captain a nice new hole right in the neck)
WEPS: How you like that now mister "I wanna go to the core, I wanna be big time". How you like it now? Big time, motherfucker, big time! *pauses* Anyone else going to stop me?
(Silence on the bridge)
WEPS: That's what I thought.
(WEPS re-establishes communications)
WEPS: As I was saying, ladies and gentlemen, our Captain Karl Wilhelm has ordered your ship destroyed, and you along with it. Farewell."
(WEPS prepares to open fire)
GM: Er...why are you going to kill them? You do realize you just killed the man who gave you that order, right?
WEPS: ...Fuck, that's right. Shit, let's board that puppy or something.
Everyone: *laughs at WEPS*

A little later...

WEPS: Okay, so who do we have who can navigate the other ship back to the syndicate base?
NAV: Well, I can, but I'd rather be on this ship.
WEPS: Anyone else? *silence* ANYONE? Yo, GM, who else could navigate these things?
GM: Take a guess.
WEPS: Fuck.
CAP's Ghost: Big time, motherfucker, big time!