Explusion of Member

[Knife]

To Engineer_00


To the Smurf guy *fala la la la la, la la la la la. Fa la la la la la, la la la la la. Which reminds me, where the hell is the Smurfette?




Edited because I fucked up.

[Zaia]

Thank you, Original Smurf, for changing your sig.

And Engineer, you might want to change the name of this thread. Perhaps I've been hanging around this board too long, but "Expulsion of Member" sounds rather...painful. And harsh. And not at all desirable. Maybe "Expulsion of Membership" instead?

[Knife]

Thank you, Original Smurf, for changing your sig.

And Engineer, you might want to change the name of this thread. Perhaps I've been hanging around this board too long, but "Expulsion of Member" sounds rather...painful. And harsh. And not at all desirable. Maybe "Expulsion of Membership" instead?

Zaia, I don't think that Expulsion should inhabit a sentence with member(anything).

[Darth Wong]

What's the big deal? If her perineal (or rectal) muscles are strong enough, she might be able to clench and squeeze you out, but she can't stay clenched forever, so you can always just ram it back in

[Joe Momma]

Oh God, I just had a flashback to that Philip Jose Farmer novel A Feast Unknown, in which Lord Greystoke (a thinly-veiled Tarzan pastiche) temporarily prevents a captor from anally raping him by contracting his superhumanly strong rectal muscles.

Just one of many great moments in that book.

-- Joe Momma

[Cpt_Frank]

Oh God, I just had a flashback to that Philip Jose Farmer novel A Feast Unknown, in which Lord Greystoke (a thinly-veiled Tarzan pastiche) temporarily prevents a captor from anally raping him by contracting his superhumanly strong rectal muscles.

Just one of many great moments in that book.

-- Joe Momma

what kind of book is that?

[Joe Momma]

Oh God, I just had a flashback to that Philip Jose Farmer novel A Feast Unknown, in which Lord Greystoke (a thinly-veiled Tarzan pastiche) temporarily prevents a captor from anally raping him by contracting his superhumanly strong rectal muscles.

Just one of many great moments in that book.

-- Joe Momma

what kind of book is that?

Let me lay down a little background here...

Philip Jose Farmer was a science fiction writer, known among other tihngs for including sexual content in his stories. Not in a sensationalistic manner, but as a logical outgrowth of the themes and characters. His most famous books were probably the Riverworld series. You can find out more about him at http://www.pjfarmer.com/

Farmer was also a fan of the pulp heroes. Two of his notable works in that area include Tarzan ALive and Doc Savage: His Apocalyptic Life. Both of these books were an analysis of the respective characters' pulp series as if they were documentaries of actual events. At the same time, he injects some realistic notes, especially concerning their personal habits and sex lives. For example, he concludes based on established primate and human behavior that Tarzan would not have had the inhibitions against cannabalism or bestiality that he was presumed to have in the Burroughs' novels. Farmer also included a family tree linking them with each other and many other pulp characters and adventurers.

Farmer did this through the plot device of a meteorite that landed at a place named Wold Newton. The descendants of those people irradiated by the meteorite were people of exceptional physical and mental prowess. It's actually taken on a life of its own. You can see how the fans have carried the idea forward at http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Pulp.htm

Farmer's book A Feast Unknown featured a clash between Tarzan and Doc Savage based on some of the themes in his analyses of them. It's not currently in print, but I was able to check out a copy through interlibrary loan.

*SPOILERS for A Feast Unknown ahead*

At any rate, A Feast Unknown is about a mysterious group with ties to both Lord Greystoke and Doc Caliban (deliberately obvious stand-ins for Tarzan and Doc Savage) that tries to manipulate them into battling one another. This book goes into even greater detail about the personal habits that men like them would likely possess, such as the monomaniacal Doc Savage being sexually repressed.

To add to the fun, both Tarzan and the Doc are suffering from an unusual mental imbalance that turns out to be an inheritance from their neandertal father (long story). They both find themselves getting sexually aroused when in mortal combat, orgasming when they actually kill someone (and eventually at the mere thought of doing so). Among other things, this leads to a morbidly hilarious fight where Tarzan and the Doc are grappling over a sheer drop, both realizing that the first one to come will be momentarily weakened, allowing the other one to throw him over the side.

This also features one of the most disturbing "Where did the author come up with that idea?" visuals I've ever come across. Feel free to PM me if you really want to know. I'm not posting it here since I'm not sure if graphic descriptions of violence are appropriate.

*End SPOILERS*

-- Joe Momma

[Einhander Sn0m4n]

Oh God, I just had a flashback to that Philip Jose Farmer novel A Feast Unknown, in which Lord Greystoke (a thinly-veiled Tarzan pastiche) temporarily prevents a captor from anally raping him by contracting his superhumanly strong rectal muscles.

Just one of many great moments in that book.

-- Joe Momma

what kind of book is that?

Let me lay down a little background here...

Philip Jose Farmer was a science fiction writer, known among other tihngs for including sexual content in his stories. Not in a sensationalistic manner, but as a logical outgrowth of the themes and characters. His most famous books were probably the Riverworld series. You can find out more about him at http://www.pjfarmer.com/

Farmer was also a fan of the pulp heroes. Two of his notable works in that area include Tarzan ALive and Doc Savage: His Apocalyptic Life. Both of these books were an analysis of the respective characters' pulp series as if they were documentaries of actual events. At the same time, he injects some realistic notes, especially concerning their personal habits and sex lives. For example, he concludes based on established primate and human behavior that Tarzan would not have had the inhibitions against cannabalism or bestiality that he was presumed to have in the Burroughs' novels. Farmer also included a family tree linking them with each other and many other pulp characters and adventurers.

Farmer did this through the plot device of a meteorite that landed at a place named Wold Newton. The descendants of those people irradiated by the meteorite were people of exceptional physical and mental prowess. It's actually taken on a life of its own. You can see how the fans have carried the idea forward at http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Pulp.htm

Farmer's book A Feast Unknown featured a clash between Tarzan and Doc Savage based on some of the themes in his analyses of them. It's not currently in print, but I was able to check out a copy through interlibrary loan.

*SPOILERS for A Feast Unknown ahead*

At any rate, A Feast Unknown is about a mysterious group with ties to both Lord Greystoke and Doc Caliban (deliberately obvious stand-ins for Tarzan and Doc Savage) that tries to manipulate them into battling one another. This book goes into even greater detail about the personal habits that men like them would likely possess, such as the monomaniacal Doc Savage being sexually repressed.

To add to the fun, both Tarzan and the Doc are suffering from an unusual mental imbalance that turns out to be an inheritance from their neandertal father (long story). They both find themselves getting sexually aroused when in mortal combat, orgasming when they actually kill someone (and eventually at the mere thought of doing so). Among other things, this leads to a morbidly hilarious fight where Tarzan and the Doc are grappling over a sheer drop, both realizing that the first one to come will be momentarily weakened, allowing the other one to throw him over the side.

This also features one of the most disturbing "Where did the author come up with that idea?" visuals I've ever come across. Feel free to PM me if you really want to know. I'm not posting it here since I'm not sure if graphic descriptions of violence are appropriate.

*End SPOILERS*

-- Joe Momma

D00d... I seriously need to lay off the fucking WEED before coming here.... whoa...

[Einhander Sn0m4n]

What's the big deal? If her perineal (or rectal) muscles are strong enough, she might be able to clench and squeeze you out, but she can't stay clenched forever, so you can always just ram it back in

???!!??!!?!!!!

[Joe Momma]

D00d... I seriously need to lay off the fucking WEED before coming here.... whoa...

But wait, here's something fun to do after heavy toking:

• Watch the Blair Witch Project all by yourself at 3 in the morning.
  
  Then wake up the guy in the next apartment (me) from the first sound sleep I've had in five days with your screams.
  
  Next, after I charge over there with weapons in hand to defend you from whatever nine-assed peyote demons are chasing you around the room, decide to court death by asking me if you can get a ride to the store to get some Doritos because you got the hella munchies coming on.

-- Joe Momma

I actually would have normally laughed my ass off and given him a ride, but I'm not a happy morning person (more of an Adolf-Hitler's-rabid-rottweiler-after-a-week-long-diet-of-nothing-but-crank-and-gunpowder morning person).

[Lord Pounder]

D00d... I seriously need to lay off the fucking WEED before coming here.... whoa...

But wait, here's something fun to do after heavy toking:

• Watch the Blair Witch Project all by yourself at 3 in the morning.
  
  Then wake up the guy in the next apartment (me) from the first sound sleep I've had in five days with your screams.
  
  Next, after I charge over there with weapons in hand to defend you from whatever nine-assed peyote demons are chasing you around the room, decide to court death by asking me if you can get a ride to the store to get some Doritos because you got the hella munchies coming on.

-- Joe Momma

I actually would have normally laughed my ass off and given him a ride, but I'm not a happy morning person (more of an Adolf-Hitler's-rabid-rottweiler-after-a-week-long-diet-of-nothing-but-crank-and-gunpowder morning person).

I did that only i was watching the Exorsist.

[Engineer_00]

Because, Mike. I'd much rather have an official departure then just "throwing in the towel". The way I see, I've got two choices: Go down with some glory, or leave respectfully. I haven't made my mind up if I'm going to leave at all, so don't assume anything. As to why I want to leave, well that's another story.

[ArmorPierce]

Make a goodbye thread. That way, you will give us your final gift, a post count boost thread.