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Posted: 2002-12-29 03:37am
by Einhander Sn0m4n
Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

:?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!
STAT!!

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:40am
by Sokar
That qualifies as different, but no bad or anythng , but I'll go with Lord Wong on this, 200cc'c of Lesbian Porno for this man, STAT!!

Out of curiosity , do you get down with the ladies ? I mean if your getting all to poo-nanny you can handle then the no whacking thing is understandable.....

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:40am
by SirNitram
Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

:?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!
*holds up several gigs of it in hard disks*

Gets the man at attention, but the geyser don't blow unless there's a woman working the pumps...

And I never get blue balls. Which is a big plus.

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:42am
by The Yosemite Bear
I've had a roomate or two come home from work early and start to unlock the door.....

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:42am
by Galvatron
SirNitram wrote:Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off?
Yes.

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:42am
by SirNitram
Sokar wrote:That qualifies as different, but no bad or anythng , but I'll go with Lord Wong on this, 200cc'c of Lesbian Porno for this man, STAT!!

Out of curiosity , do you get down with the ladies ? I mean if your getting all to poo-nanny you can handle then the no whacking thing is understandable.....
One woman, a few times every week(Not every night, because when you have a 2 hour session, the woman tends to be too sore the next day..). Didn't lose it til I was 18, never felt the need beforehand or afterwards. Strangest damn thing.

But I'll take the porno.

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:44am
by Sokar
Wow,Gentlemen, he may actually be the "Man with the Golden Gun", thats not a bad skill there Nitram, Im in personal achy-nut hell if I dont get-off every few days.......

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:47am
by Alex Moon
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

:?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!
STAT!!
WE NEED 20CCs of "Naughty Nurses 9" AND A SHOT OF "Bad Girls in Prison" NOW!

Hurry people, we've got to save this man!

Posted: 2002-12-29 03:49am
by Einhander Sn0m4n
SirNitram wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

:?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!
*holds up several gigs of it in hard disks*

Gets the man at attention, but the geyser don't blow unless there's a woman working the pumps...

And I never get blue balls. Which is a big plus.
You.
Lucky!
BITCH!

:shock: :D :D
I always get blue balls at the drop of a hat.
Go 5 days without wanking it? Blue Balls
Get worked up by Porno and roomy derails my wank by bringing his girls over? Blue Balls.
Boyfriend get me all hot and ready to get fucked by tossing my salad, then get a bad phone call which destroys his sexual mood for the whole fucking night??! BLUE FUCKING BALLS!
Goddess made man with hands for a reason... Thank Goddess in all Her Non-Christian wisdom!

Posted: 2002-12-29 04:06am
by Icehawk
Posted by: Alex Moon

It wasn't too terribly embaressing. Once I realized that she was gone, I loaded up the video again and finished what I'd started. No sense in wasting a perfectly good hard-on. Plus, it accomplished what years of shouting at her didn't: it got mom to actually knock and then wait for me to answer before entering my room.
I pretty much had the same thing with my mom. She walked in my room unexpectedly while I was wackin it and she just quickly turned around, appologized and walked out. After that we never had any problems.

Hehe I also had a particularily funny moment once when my younger sister just waltzed in on me right as I was blowing a huge load into the garbage bin beside my bed. :P She just went "Ewww God!" and ran right out. Wouldda been a pure Kodak moment if you could have caught me on camera just as I jerked my head over to face the doorway. :lol:

Posted: 2002-12-29 04:10am
by Sienthal
Got caught by my childhood friend once. Ironically, she was the object of my fantasy at that moment in time. Unfortunately, it was because she was moving away that she came over. So, we had a nice goodbye, and the incident was never mentioned during it.

I sometimes wonder what would've happened if she hadn't moved away. :(

Posted: 2002-12-29 05:03am
by Dalton
Never got caught. Came close one or two times when I accidentally left my door slightly open...but never got caught. I wouldn't expect any of my family to comment much on it (except maybe my grandmother) since they're all relatively normal and know how the world works. Which reminds me of another story...about the time my grandmother got scared by my sisters "massager" when it turned itself on by accident and fell on her bedroom floor...I'll end it there. She might see this :)

Posted: 2002-12-29 05:43am
by Vympel
95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars :)

However I think there is something wrong with someone if they do jerk off like it's some sort of regular thing- as in "oh look it's time for my 3 o'clock wank".

Posted: 2002-12-29 07:36am
by Joe Momma
Never got caught, but I knew a guy who used to set himself up to get caught by his girlfriends as a sort of litmus test.

Most freaked out. A few joined in. One just laughed.

Guess which one he's happily married to. :D

-- Joe Momma

...delighted and relieved to be an age group where most of the women I date have gotten over any embarrassment/squeamishness about sex and bodily functions.

Re: Ever get caught jerking off?

Posted: 2002-12-29 10:10am
by Eleas
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend? :twisted:

Re: Ever get caught jerking off?

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:00pm
by Ted
Eleas wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend? :twisted:
Being caught by GF usually results in either a blowjob or sex.

Re: Ever get caught jerking off?

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:06pm
by Eleas
Ted wrote:
Eleas wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend? :twisted:
Being caught by GF usually results in either a blowjob or sex.
Exactly. :D

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:22pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
No, I haven't been caught yet. Anyone in the room not looking at me passes it off as my legs moving, and I think sexy thoughts instead of looking at anything.

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:24pm
by Durandal
I've had a few walk-ins, but I'm extremely fast with zipping up my pants, so no one has ever gotten away with more than a nagging suspicion, and if they have, they never mentioned it.
Vympel wrote:95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars
Wrong. 90% of men masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
60% of women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath.

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:26pm
by Tosho
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Pablo Sanchez wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Have casual sex. These guys are usually roommates who live with me anyway. Weed and Beer helps in case of "straight" boys (Straight guys are gayer than you could possibly believe!)
I think I draw the line when it comes to taking advantage of roommates in altered states. It just sounds a bit immoral.
Hey they approach me! Besides, I find that getting taken advantage of while on a beer/marijuana hack is quite fun!!!!
And what's their opinion of being taken advantage of?

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:26pm
by Ted
Durandal wrote:
Vympel wrote:95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars
Wrong. 90% of men masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
60% of women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath.
FUQ it!!!

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:27pm
by Eleas
Ted wrote:
Durandal wrote:
Vympel wrote:95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars
Wrong. 90% of men masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
60% of women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath.
FUQ it!!!
Seconded, it's on the way to Dalton as we speak.

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:38pm
by Pablo Sanchez
Well, I think it needs to be remembered that the average man has a sex-related thought every 12 seconds. If anything, you should masturbate to clear your head for a few minutes.

Re: Ever get caught jerking off?

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:41pm
by Alex Moon
Ted wrote:
Eleas wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend? :twisted:
Being caught by GF usually results in either a blowjob or sex.
Not always.

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp06122002.html :twisted:

Posted: 2002-12-29 01:44pm
by aerius
I take some basic security measures to prevent being caught, stuff like closing and locking the door and proplerly disposing of the evidence. Never been caught yet.