Page 2 of 3

Re: Coming Out, sort of...

Posted: 2003-01-01 01:03pm
by Alyrium Denryle
Dahak wrote:It's funny what a New Year (and maybe the alcohol involved) might do to you, but here it goes...
I'm gay, and today, I started telling my best friends.
It still is a funny feeling, deep inside, to give out that bit of information I held so closely to my heart. I always felt it might enstrange some of my friends. But today, I want to believe in such drivel like "True friends like you for what you are". Maybe it's even true...
Another part is, well, this community. It may sound stupid, but you are such wonderful persons, especially people like Kelly, the very special Einhander Sn0m4n, verilon, our Overlord Wong, and many others I have been blessed to meet, that are so, well, normal about this thing that it made it easier for me, and helped me really realize that I have nothing to hide or fear :)
Just so you know... :D
Welcome to the wide world out of the closet my friend. Now lock that metaphorical door, and swallow the key :D...Wait, no, you could get the key back when it passes through your digestive tract.......Burn it with an Acetaline torch, there you go :D

I do for the most part agree with you on the activist thing...In principle. Here in the US our system is so bad, and our government(at least right now) is so conservative that aggressive lobbying is the only way to get things done.

Posted: 2003-01-01 01:08pm
by ArmorPierce
This thread got me thinking of my old highschool friends. Awww, good times. I doubt that I'll ever see them most of them again.

Posted: 2003-01-01 01:58pm
by InnerBrat
Good luck with your friends - Mega good luck with your family!

Re: Coming Out, sort of...

Posted: 2003-01-01 02:07pm
by Alyrium Denryle
Dahak wrote:It's funny what a New Year (and maybe the alcohol involved) might do to you, but here it goes...
I'm gay, and today, I started telling my best friends.
It still is a funny feeling, deep inside, to give out that bit of information I held so closely to my heart. I always felt it might enstrange some of my friends. But today, I want to believe in such drivel like "True friends like you for what you are". Maybe it's even true...
Another part is, well, this community. It may sound stupid, but you are such wonderful persons, especially people like Kelly, the very special Einhander Sn0m4n, verilon, our Overlord Wong, and many others I have been blessed to meet, that are so, well, normal about this thing that it made it easier for me, and helped me really realize that I have nothing to hide or fear :)
Just so you know... :D
I hope your friends are as true as mine where. And I hope that your family is more accepting than mine where(Mom, sister, and moms siblings, and their children...fine. Maternal Grandparents..Dont know. Entire fathers side...Disowned)

But even if they arent real friends, or if your family rejects you...Fuck them. You are a great person, and if they ant see that, they arent worth your time or effort. You will always have us to kick around.

Re: Coming Out, sort of...

Posted: 2003-01-01 02:14pm
by The Duchess of Zeon
Alyrium Denryle wrote:
I do for the most part agree with you on the activist thing...In principle. Here in the US our system is so bad, and our government(at least right now) is so conservative that aggressive lobbying is the only way to get things done.

Well, I want equal rights of course (obviously) - though not special privilages, I am against affirmative action after all - Just like they at least in theory do (I suspect a rather large number would like affirmative action for homosexuals as well).

I just don't think they're helping anything by creating an image of homosexuality which isn't true - that is, a stereotype that we all behave a certain way, we all have the same viewpoints, that our goal is the things they want, and to support the issues they do.. This negative stereotype is then very easily perpetuated by people against gay rights, of homosexuals being reduced from people into some kind of amphorous blob lobbying group consisting of cross-dressing Maksimalist-ideological entities who aren't really human beings.

I think a more conservative outlook, without abandoning reality, and the rights we deserve, is surely appropriate, in light of the society in which we live, and its outlook. To fit in, with the USA.. To.. Adhere to the mainstream, so to speak, so that those people who hate us can find no ammunition against us except for whom we love. When you are hated, unfortunately, you have to be doubly-careful. And if the homosexual community made an effort to integrate into the mainstream instead of distancing its self, even when not truly welcome there, less ammunition would be found by those who don't want it there.

I mean, the entire goal of gaining equal rights is to gain acceptance into society and normalization of the things for us within society, of what others enjoy, is it not?

Ultimately it would be nice to have a society where you can't tell the difference between homosexuals and straight people short of when couples kiss in public. And I think the effort to create a homosexuality identity is disturbing because of that, and so the vast majority of the activist groups - for all they may mean well in their intent - represent a long-term threat to what ought be our ultimate goal, and that's integrating in society so we're so totally accepted that we're just a nonissue.

Re: Coming Out, sort of...

Posted: 2003-01-01 02:14pm
by Tosho
Dahak wrote:It's funny what a New Year (and maybe the alcohol involved) might do to you, but here it goes...
I'm gay, and today, I started telling my best friends.
It still is a funny feeling, deep inside, to give out that bit of information I held so closely to my heart. I always felt it might enstrange some of my friends. But today, I want to believe in such drivel like "True friends like you for what you are". Maybe it's even true...
Another part is, well, this community. It may sound stupid, but you are such wonderful persons, especially people like Kelly, the very special Einhander Sn0m4n, verilon, our Overlord Wong, and many others I have been blessed to meet, that are so, well, normal about this thing that it made it easier for me, and helped me really realize that I have nothing to hide or fear :)
Just so you know... :D
good luck on being openly gay.

Posted: 2003-01-01 02:25pm
by Master of Ossus
So... did anything bad happen with your friends, or did they seem cool about it? Best of luck, Dahak.

Re: Coming Out, sort of...

Posted: 2003-01-01 02:26pm
by Alyrium Denryle
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
Alyrium Denryle wrote:
I do for the most part agree with you on the activist thing...In principle. Here in the US our system is so bad, and our government(at least right now) is so conservative that aggressive lobbying is the only way to get things done.

Well, I want equal rights of course (obviously) - though not special privilages, I am against affirmative action after all - Just like they at least in theory do (I suspect a rather large number would like affirmative action for homosexuals as well).

I just don't think they're helping anything by creating an image of homosexuality which isn't true - that is, a stereotype that we all behave a certain way, we all have the same viewpoints, that our goal is the things they want, and to support the issues they do.. This negative stereotype is then very easily perpetuated by people against gay rights, of homosexuals being reduced from people into some kind of amphorous blob lobbying group consisting of cross-dressing Maksimalist-ideological entities who aren't really human beings.

I think a more conservative outlook, without abandoning reality, and the rights we deserve, is surely appropriate, in light of the society in which we live, and its outlook. To fit in, with the USA.. To.. Adhere to the mainstream, so to speak, so that those people who hate us can find no ammunition against us except for whom we love. When you are hated, unfortunately, you have to be doubly-careful. And if the homosexual community made an effort to integrate into the mainstream instead of distancing its self, even when not truly welcome there, less ammunition would be found by those who don't want it there.

I mean, the entire goal of gaining equal rights is to gain acceptance into society and normalization of the things for us within society, of what others enjoy, is it not?

Ultimately it would be nice to have a society where you can't tell the difference between homosexuals and straight people short of when couples kiss in public. And I think the effort to create a homosexuality identity is disturbing because of that, and so the vast majority of the activist groups - for all they may mean well in their intent - represent a long-term threat to what ought be our ultimate goal, and that's integrating in society so we're so totally accepted that we're just a nonissue.
That is of course the way it should be. And that is the way i act. If I find something that slaps me in the face however, I act on it. There will come a time when we are accepted into society, and i hope that it comes in my lifetime. But until that time, there are things we have to do to protect ourselves. I am not a lobbyist. I act by raising awarness. If people are aware of a situation, they will act on it themselves. i am as open as i am because if people notice that there ARE gay people, that they know and care about, they will have a more vested interest in making sure that that person is not hurt.

I feel that race, religion, sexual orientation etc, shouldnt even be an issue in employment, housing etc, however, they are an issue. Hatecrimes should never occure, regardless of who you are. But they DO occur.

A government has a resonsibility to protect its citizens, and if they will not do that...I refuse to be a victim, and I refuse to be stepped on.

Posted: 2003-01-01 03:06pm
by Dahak
Master of Ossus wrote:So... did anything bad happen with your friends, or did they seem cool about it? Best of luck, Dahak.
No, nothing happened :)
Apart from the annoying fact that I now have to endure torture sessions about wether I have a BOYfriend or not, instead of torture about GIRLfriends.
I guess that won't change, unfortunately :D

Re: Coming Out, sort of...

Posted: 2003-01-01 03:13pm
by Dahak
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
Alyrium Denryle wrote:
I do for the most part agree with you on the activist thing...In principle. Here in the US our system is so bad, and our government(at least right now) is so conservative that aggressive lobbying is the only way to get things done.

Well, I want equal rights of course (obviously) - though not special privilages, I am against affirmative action after all - Just like they at least in theory do (I suspect a rather large number would like affirmative action for homosexuals as well).

I just don't think they're helping anything by creating an image of homosexuality which isn't true - that is, a stereotype that we all behave a certain way, we all have the same viewpoints, that our goal is the things they want, and to support the issues they do.. This negative stereotype is then very easily perpetuated by people against gay rights, of homosexuals being reduced from people into some kind of amphorous blob lobbying group consisting of cross-dressing Maksimalist-ideological entities who aren't really human beings.

I think a more conservative outlook, without abandoning reality, and the rights we deserve, is surely appropriate, in light of the society in which we live, and its outlook. To fit in, with the USA.. To.. Adhere to the mainstream, so to speak, so that those people who hate us can find no ammunition against us except for whom we love. When you are hated, unfortunately, you have to be doubly-careful. And if the homosexual community made an effort to integrate into the mainstream instead of distancing its self, even when not truly welcome there, less ammunition would be found by those who don't want it there.

I mean, the entire goal of gaining equal rights is to gain acceptance into society and normalization of the things for us within society, of what others enjoy, is it not?

Ultimately it would be nice to have a society where you can't tell the difference between homosexuals and straight people short of when couples kiss in public. And I think the effort to create a homosexuality identity is disturbing because of that, and so the vast majority of the activist groups - for all they may mean well in their intent - represent a long-term threat to what ought be our ultimate goal, and that's integrating in society so we're so totally accepted that we're just a nonissue.
Well, I don't know, but somehow I am afraid that the universe will end or I'll get sucked into a black hole, when we have the same opinion on a matter... :D

But I totally agree. I hate to get lumped into a mass, just being labeled "gay", without considering the fact that every single human being is different.
I don't necessarily share the ideas of gay rights groups, "just because" I'm gay.

But that seems to be the problem with all lobbyist groups, that they assume their ideas truly are the ideas of the whole represented minority, like feminist groups, black rights, et al.

Posted: 2003-01-01 03:21pm
by kojikun
If you're not going to strip for the other gayboys here at SDN, this isn't very special :p

Posted: 2003-01-01 03:32pm
by The Duchess of Zeon
kojikun wrote:If you're not going to strip for the other gayboys here at SDN, this isn't very special :p
He's German; gayboys don't strip there - He's going to be sent back in time to serve as one of Frederick the Great's palace guards.

Posted: 2003-01-01 03:35pm
by Dahak
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
kojikun wrote:If you're not going to strip for the other gayboys here at SDN, this isn't very special :p
He's German; gayboys don't strip there - He's going to be sent back in time to serve as one of Frederick the Great's palace guards.
he he :D
Although I might be a tad bit too small for that *g*

And I possibly will get shot if I ever did strip (*shudder*), because it violates the Geneva convention or sumthin... :D

Posted: 2003-01-01 03:46pm
by The Duchess of Zeon
Dahak wrote: he he :D
Although I might be a tad bit too small for that *g*
I think nubility in uniform was the primary requirement..
And I possibly will get shot if I ever did strip (*shudder*), because it violates the Geneva convention or sumthin... :D
Well, he did manage to get Prussia into and out of a sufficient number of tight situations that even the likes of you might be gainfully employed a-soldiering.

Blah! The world is bland today compared to what it once was; we don't get any really eccentric or outrageous Heads of State anymore (Not even some tinpot dictators in the middle of back of beyond slap each other on the ass in public, do they?)

Ah, joy to irrevency...

Posted: 2003-01-01 05:11pm
by Stormbringer
Dahak wrote:Apart from the annoying fact that I now have to endure torture sessions about wether I have a BOYfriend or not, instead of torture about GIRLfriends.
I guess that won't change, unfortunately :D
Good for you Dahak, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice. I hope things continue to go well for you.

And inevitably, So DO you have a boyfriend? (you set yourself up for that one)

Posted: 2003-01-01 05:38pm
by jodathalas
Thats good. I am happy for you. :) It's good to get stuff off your chest, huh?

Posted: 2003-01-01 05:42pm
by Dahak
Stormbringer wrote:
Dahak wrote:Apart from the annoying fact that I now have to endure torture sessions about wether I have a BOYfriend or not, instead of torture about GIRLfriends.
I guess that won't change, unfortunately :D
Good for you Dahak, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice. I hope things continue to go well for you.

And inevitably, So DO you have a boyfriend? (you set yourself up for that one)
No, I'm a happy(HA!) single. :D

Posted: 2003-01-02 12:32am
by Alyrium Denryle
Dahak wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
Dahak wrote:Apart from the annoying fact that I now have to endure torture sessions about wether I have a BOYfriend or not, instead of torture about GIRLfriends.
I guess that won't change, unfortunately :D
Good for you Dahak, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice. I hope things continue to go well for you.

And inevitably, So DO you have a boyfriend? (you set yourself up for that one)
No, I'm a happy(HA!) single. :D
Welcome to the club...Well I am not overjoyed by being single, more indifferent personally :D

Posted: 2003-01-02 01:53am
by Darth Yoshi
For lack of a better word, congrats. It seems that your friends took the news rather well. I am happy for you.

Let's celebrate! Break out the booze!

Posted: 2003-01-02 02:02am
by Master of Ossus
Dahak wrote:No, nothing happened :)
Apart from the annoying fact that I now have to endure torture sessions about wether I have a BOYfriend or not, instead of torture about GIRLfriends.
I guess that won't change, unfortunately :D
I'm glad for you. It seems that you have chosen your friends wisely. I also hope that it makes you feel better, to have told someone else you know about this. Best of luck, with the teasing and with the rest of your "new" life.

Posted: 2003-01-02 02:41am
by Coyote
I hope things go well for you; some may not understand and try to make life difficult, but they are the ones with the problem, not you... I hope you feel free and unburdened.

Someday we'll reach the stage where all this won't matter.

Posted: 2003-01-02 05:53am
by InnerBrat
Coyote wrote:I hope things go well for you; some may not understand and try to make life difficult, but they are the ones with the problem, not you... I hope you feel free and unburdened.

Someday we'll reach the stage where all this won't matter.
someday we'll reach the stage where liking either sex exclusively will be considered unusual.
Well, I can but hope...

Posted: 2003-01-02 06:59am
by Dalton
Gay? Eh. Don't care.

I congratulate you on your bravery and wish you best of luck and more power to ya, but I really don't give a damn about sexual orientation :)

Posted: 2003-01-02 12:19pm
by Straha
Your Gay? So what?
Really why do I care, unless you like me in which case it does matter. Any other way it makes no difference to me.

Posted: 2003-01-02 02:02pm
by Stormbringer
innerbrat wrote:someday we'll reach the stage where liking either sex exclusively will be considered unusual.
I don't think that will ever happen. To be blunt, there will always be straight people. That's how the system works and it won't change with out some artifical tinkering with man himself.

I think the best possibly and realistic hope is for there to be a world where sexual orientation doesn't matter. That unless you're looking for sex it doesn't matter.
innerbrat wrote:Well, I can but hope...
Bi?