Page 12 of 17
Posted: 2004-07-09 01:22pm
by Chardok
okay, fountains of wayne...I love Geek rock....Connection made, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!
No seriously, I enjoy the attention, even if I do get a bit bitch-slapped
I fully expect to come back in a later episode and either
A) kill someone. or
B) Be responsible for large explosions.
Posted: 2004-07-09 01:24pm
by RedImperator
Chardok wrote:okay, fountains of wayne...I love Geek rock....Connection made, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!
No seriously, I enjoy the attention, even if I do get a bit bitch-slapped
I fully expect to come back in a later episode and either
A) kill someone. or
B) Be responsible for large explosions.
One of the reasons we picked you for this "honor" was that we figured you'd have a sense of humor about this. We'll make it up to you in the next ep.
Posted: 2004-07-09 01:26pm
by Chardok
RedImperator wrote:One of the reasons we picked you for this "honor" was that we figured you'd have a sense of humor about this. We'll make it up to you in the next ep.
There's no need to make it up, in case you haven't noticed (You have) I don't mind being the comic relief
. Great story anyway.
Okay, lovefest over, asshat.
Posted: 2004-07-09 01:35pm
by Durandal
Seriously, we are glad you've got a sense of humor about the whole thing. Once you informed the mods that your mother might be joining the board, we saw an opportunity and could not let it go to waste, regardless of whether or not she actually did join.
Posted: 2004-07-09 01:38pm
by Stravo
Chardok I wanna apologize for banging your mom regularly. I'm not bad Red and Durandal just write me that way.
Posted: 2004-07-09 01:41pm
by Grand Admiral Thrawn
"You had to have been adopted," she said.
"What does that mean?" he said.
"Biff? Honey?" came a voice from the closet. Everybody except Marina froze. Horror slowly crept across Biff's face.
"No. No no no no no no."
"Yes," said Marina, as Mrs. Chardok stepped out of the closet, also sweaty and disheveled, with her skirt on backwards.
"Mom?!"
"Biff, sweetie, I can explain. Sometimes, you see, mommies get a little lonely, and they need to be touched in a special way that only women can do."
"MOM!"
"SCORE ONE FOR THE REDHEADED BABE!" exclaimed Beowulf.
"SHUT UP!" Biff covered his ears and ran down the hall.
"Wait Biff!" cried Mrs. Chardok, running after him.
"Wait!" said Marina. "You forgot your...." she shrugged and tossed the lacy black thong she'd been holding behind her.
"Am I allowed to be turned on by this?" said Kernel to Debi.
"I think I'm turned on by this," said Debi.
"This is the best day EVER," said Mark.
"Yeah, great," muttered Joe.
"You're my hero, Marina," said Kernel.
Marina had a brush out and was fixing her hair back. "I know."
*Dies*
Posted: 2004-07-09 02:47pm
by Shroom Man 777
This thread is proof enough that God exists! *raises arms to the heavens* Hallelujah!
Posted: 2004-07-09 02:50pm
by Captain Cyran
Hehehehe.
That Captain Phallus thing was hilarious guys, hell, the entire chapter was fucking hilarious, keep up the awesome work guys.
Posted: 2004-07-09 04:51pm
by Mayabird
Posted: 2004-07-09 05:19pm
by CrimsonRaine
Okay. I just spent the past hour reading this sticky thread.
I think this story is AMAZING! Oh my god, the characters are just perfect.
And as like several others, I'm going to bitch: for Christ's sake, man, I'm on the co-writers sister and one of the few females on this board. Why am I not mentioned at least once? At least as some super-bitch. C'mon, guys!
Complaining like this will get me nowhere, but I had to do it!
But excellent job, otherwise. It's given me a strange crush on the Kernel.
Raine
Posted: 2004-07-09 05:39pm
by Lonestar
What are you whining about? I'm [trekdestroyer] A highly valued member of the board who is much loved and respected and I still haven't been mentioned![/trekdestroyer]
Posted: 2004-07-09 08:04pm
by aerius
Damn, I was that close to getting laid again...
But man, the Spanky panty thief scene was just too much, I can't wait till he sees it..
Posted: 2004-07-09 08:11pm
by Durandal
You mean they've done it? You can send blow jobs via e-mail?!
Posted: 2004-07-09 09:51pm
by aerius
Durandal wrote:You mean they've done it? You can send blow jobs via e-mail?!
Well, not quite yet, but it can be done by proxy. Email the local escort service, send them a credit card number & address, and they send over an escort to give you the BJ.
Posted: 2004-07-09 10:28pm
by Durandal
Well shit. But how cool would it be to receive a blow job via e-mail?
This e-mail contains an attached executable (BLOWJOB.EXE). This blow job may contain a virus and be harmful to your penis. Do you wish to continue?
Posted: 2004-07-09 10:50pm
by Pablo Sanchez
I was referenced but did not appear in the credits as such. I demand some sort of restitution.
Posted: 2004-07-09 11:44pm
by Chardok
Pablo Sanchez wrote:I was referenced but did not appear in the credits as such. I demand some sort of restitution.
Did someone say prostitution? I'm in.
Posted: 2004-07-09 11:45pm
by Mayabird
Durandal wrote:
This e-mail contains an attached executable (BLOWJOB.EXE). This blow job may contain a virus and be harmful to your penis. Do you wish to continue?
FUQ!
The day just keeps getting better and better.
Posted: 2004-07-10 12:09am
by Pablo Sanchez
Chardok wrote:Did someone say prostitution? I'm in.
Okay, here's my offer.
1. You keep it clean (use a rubber) and go in for a check-up every six months. I know a veterinarian, he's cheap.
2. You kick 50% of your daily gross upstairs to be. That's the
gross, not the
net. You know the difference, bitch, don't try to hold out on me.
3. In exchange for said monies you will recieve my protection, that is some motherfucker tries to jump without payin', or some dude try to slice you, or whatever... I fuck him up.
4. You also gain the right to work on my territory, which means that you won't get any other bitches tryin' to grab yo spot or whatevah's. 'Cause they know they don' wanna fuck wit' me. Respect.
Posted: 2004-07-10 12:11am
by aerius
Durandal wrote:Well shit. But how cool would it be to receive a blow job via e-mail?
This e-mail contains an attached executable (BLOWJOB.EXE). This blow job may contain a virus and be harmful to your penis. Do you wish to continue?
As long as you run a virus check on it you'll be fine, unless it's one of those amateur blowjobs where the chick grinds her teeth into your penis. If only Norton or some other company made an instant virus check for STDs...
Posted: 2004-07-10 12:14am
by Pablo Sanchez
aerius wrote:As long as you run a virus check on it you'll be fine, unless it's one of those amateur blowjobs where the chick grinds her teeth into your penis.
I think Microsoft is developing a patch for that.
Posted: 2004-07-10 12:20am
by aerius
Pablo Sanchez wrote:aerius wrote:As long as you run a virus check on it you'll be fine, unless it's one of those amateur blowjobs where the chick grinds her teeth into your penis.
I think Microsoft is developing a patch for that.
Given that it's Microsoft it'll probably have a fatal lockjaw error or the tongue action won't work.
Posted: 2004-07-10 12:48am
by Mitth`raw`nuruodo
lmfao at the blowjob convo there....
He got up and grabbed the bundle. Suddenly, it unraveled, and all of Spanky's troubles melted away. It was a paid of black thong panties with lace trim, size M, silk. Frederick's of Hollywood. He could tell without checking the tag.
That sub is probably a medium, he thought. These might be hers. His heart churned for a moment. He was obligated, technically, to at least ask if they belonged to her, before he claimed them as found items and added them to his collection. His beautiful, beautiful panty collection.
This is a good pair. Nice panties. He rubbed the slippery fabric with his hands.
You know what? These would have been thrown out anyway. I'm not stealing these at all. I'm rescuingthem."
That made me laugh for a good 5 minutes.
Great work guys.
Posted: 2004-07-10 01:44am
by Shroom Man 777
Man, this Spanky stuff, Chardok's mom, Biff, Kernel and all of their insane shenenigans just makes me wish I'd get an appearance all the more.
Posted: 2004-07-10 11:53am
by RogueIce
Lonestar wrote:Bwahaha! That was fantastic. Keep it up.
I expect more later. Perhaps a depressed USN Recruiter*
*snip*
Yes, me. I know, I know...I'm plugging myself. Sorry. I do have a few threads in The Mess about me and my bad attitude towards my job though.
Yes, yes, we know all too well.
Heh, I'd love to see a brawl among the recruiters. That would be fucking priceless.