Posted: 2005-04-22 12:02pm
UNNAMED PORNO FANFIC, XXVIII
(Authors Note: This is a one-shot SW based chapter that takes place after AoTC and before RoTS)
*TRAILER*
"Judge me by my size do you?"
"Well I errrr ummmm....."
"Judge me by my size you should!"
*END TRAILER*
EPISODE TWENTY EIGHT: "THE RED LIGHTSABER DISTRICT!" or "YODA NEEDS ASS!"
In a back alley behind the Jedi Temple, the young Twi'lek prostitute raised her hands to her mouth, cupping them over her mouth to stifle what would have been a loud gasp. Deela had not been a whore for long but she was at least smart enough to know that additional noise could bring unwanted attention, especially where her diminuitive green customer had paid her an additional fifty credits for the discretion required.
She had come to Coruscant to find work as a dancer, hoping to make a small fortune catering to the wealthy elite in the Republic capital and return to Ryloth when her looks started to fade. However Strippers in Coruscant didn't make much money, Twi'lek girls were a decicred a dozen on Coruscant and those who did make a living were usually indentured to one client and only paid modestly. One of her fellow dancers, a Gran, had mentioned that she could make a little extra money on the side. With the ubermoralist and doctrinal conservative Benedict Palpatine elected to the Chancellor's position, there had been a steep shortage of 'working girls.'
Coruscant wasn't a safe place, so she decided to stay within a few blocks of the Jedi temple for a little added security, the Coruscant Fuzz didn't patrol this area much and the Jedi didn't really care much about petty crime in the area. In fact more often than not there were a few Padawans dealing spice on the corners. It was either the best rumour she had ever heard or one of the most scandalous secrets that the Jedi were dealing smack in order to fund their order. But it made sense, top of the line starfighters, lightsabers, and the most advanced computer technology in the galaxy didn't come cheap. The Jedi tolerance around the temple made the area known as "The Red Lightsaber District."
It was getting late in the evening and Deela hadn't even been propositioned, what with most people keeping indooors for the latest reports on the Clone Wars and she was about to go home when a small figure covered in robes approached her, he was walking with a cane, make a tapping sound against the pavement.
"Dangerous out here, it can be, for a pretty girl such as you hmmm?"
Deela looked over at him, about ready to just shrug him off and head home, but something in the back of her head caused her to look over at the pint sized being and respond.
"Its all right, besides i'm looking for some company anyway."
"Found some you have, yes?"
"I don't think we mean the same thing..."
The little alien started chuckling, a bizarre laugh that would have been cute had it not been near a dark alley past midnight.
"Understand you well, I do believe, credits I do have."
Deela was able to limit the shock on her face, nearly offended that he would look at her and assume she was a whore, but she sighed to herself, fully aware that is in fact what she was.
"Follow me, for discretion, extra I will pay."
She had followed him to the back alley, there was a small area that the security cameras of the area did not manage to cover, one of thousands of such places all over the Capital District, but these places were largely patrolled, except here in the Red Lightsaber District. They stopped, pausing behind a dumpster. The small man paid his credits and handed her the extra.
"Paying well I am, for one so new at this."
Deela's eyes widened, "How did you know that I..."
It was then that Yoda removed the hood from over his head.
"Oh I understand now, you're a member of the Council, I see you in the holos all the time. You must be the greatest force user on the council!"
"Ohhh, ummm, yess powerful Yoda is..." Yoda, contrary to popular belief, was not a humble man, but damned if he didn't cover for his lack of force talent with cryptic wisdom that made everyone think he was a genius. MAce Windu, Plo Koon, hell even those fuckers Kenobi and Skywalker were tougher, the only reason Yoda had beaten Dooku at Geonosis was because there is nothing more disconcerting that have a little green dwarf chuck himself at you flinging a lightsaber uncontrollably. Dooku had not been bested as Yoda had reported, but had fled to his ship laughing so hard that he was unable to summon the Force to kill all three Jedi he faced. "...but secret, this encounter must be."
"Don't worry hon, you can trust me."
Yoda sensed her with the force again, this bitch was going to rat him out. Normally that was cause enough to carve her into unrecognizeable body parts with the lightsaber and leave her in the nearby dumpster, pass her off to the authorities as a Padawan lightsaber accident. But living for the better part of a millenium comes with a price, erections came only once every hundred years or so. The Jedi Code forbade attatchment but did not explicitly forbid carnal relations, which was why many Jedi frequented prostitutes around and near the temple, or were castrated as infants like Mace Windu. NOw that would be a shock, Mace Windu had the biggest bantha in the herd but lacked the horns. At any rate, Yoda's raging hormones were in overdrive, he had to get laid, and this was the only decent looking whore on the whole block. He wasn't concerned though, the Force would take care of him.
Deela watched as Yoda began removing his robes and undoing his belt, her face contorted into a discerning smirk as she wondered what it was she could actually do for him.
"Judge me by my size do you?"
"Well I errrr ummmm....."
"Judge me by my size you should!"
Deela finally uncupped her hands from her mouth, the shock of the giant twenty five inch penis with 8 inch girth caused her eyes to nearly force their way out of their sockets. It was like a large green Ryloth Jungle Python sticking straight out of a mound of unkempt greay pubic hair. Her lekku twitched nervously and uncontrollably. Yoda could see the shock on her face and feel her surprise through the Force, it aroused him to no end, almost as much as it would arouse him to stretch this girl enough so that they could land a few LAATs. Deela dropped to her knees and took it into her hands, cupping it and flicking the tip of her tongue outwards to stroke the soft supple skin, but before she could gingerly and tenderly pleasure her client, yoda used the force to push on the back of her skull and suppress her gag reflex, Deela's head slid all the way...
2 Hours later
Yoda had finally finished using the Force to purge Deela's memories of the encounter. He was sorely tempted to take his money back also, but the payment for services rendered provided him with enough emotional attachment so that he was still in line with the Jedi Code. Deela had collapsed and Yoda had tossed her into the dumpster and covered her with her coat, so that her gaping fuckholes would not catch a draft. The passed out Deela would awake in the back of a Waste Management Hovertruck about two kilometers from the temple.
Yoda sighed, it would be another hundred years or so before he could do this again, and his cock had reverted to its regular marginal state. He felt demeaned and embarassed for requiring a prostitute, but it was still better than the estimated 4% of Jedi Masters who molested their Padawans.
(Authors Note: This is a one-shot SW based chapter that takes place after AoTC and before RoTS)
*TRAILER*
"Judge me by my size do you?"
"Well I errrr ummmm....."
"Judge me by my size you should!"
*END TRAILER*
EPISODE TWENTY EIGHT: "THE RED LIGHTSABER DISTRICT!" or "YODA NEEDS ASS!"
In a back alley behind the Jedi Temple, the young Twi'lek prostitute raised her hands to her mouth, cupping them over her mouth to stifle what would have been a loud gasp. Deela had not been a whore for long but she was at least smart enough to know that additional noise could bring unwanted attention, especially where her diminuitive green customer had paid her an additional fifty credits for the discretion required.
She had come to Coruscant to find work as a dancer, hoping to make a small fortune catering to the wealthy elite in the Republic capital and return to Ryloth when her looks started to fade. However Strippers in Coruscant didn't make much money, Twi'lek girls were a decicred a dozen on Coruscant and those who did make a living were usually indentured to one client and only paid modestly. One of her fellow dancers, a Gran, had mentioned that she could make a little extra money on the side. With the ubermoralist and doctrinal conservative Benedict Palpatine elected to the Chancellor's position, there had been a steep shortage of 'working girls.'
Coruscant wasn't a safe place, so she decided to stay within a few blocks of the Jedi temple for a little added security, the Coruscant Fuzz didn't patrol this area much and the Jedi didn't really care much about petty crime in the area. In fact more often than not there were a few Padawans dealing spice on the corners. It was either the best rumour she had ever heard or one of the most scandalous secrets that the Jedi were dealing smack in order to fund their order. But it made sense, top of the line starfighters, lightsabers, and the most advanced computer technology in the galaxy didn't come cheap. The Jedi tolerance around the temple made the area known as "The Red Lightsaber District."
It was getting late in the evening and Deela hadn't even been propositioned, what with most people keeping indooors for the latest reports on the Clone Wars and she was about to go home when a small figure covered in robes approached her, he was walking with a cane, make a tapping sound against the pavement.
"Dangerous out here, it can be, for a pretty girl such as you hmmm?"
Deela looked over at him, about ready to just shrug him off and head home, but something in the back of her head caused her to look over at the pint sized being and respond.
"Its all right, besides i'm looking for some company anyway."
"Found some you have, yes?"
"I don't think we mean the same thing..."
The little alien started chuckling, a bizarre laugh that would have been cute had it not been near a dark alley past midnight.
"Understand you well, I do believe, credits I do have."
Deela was able to limit the shock on her face, nearly offended that he would look at her and assume she was a whore, but she sighed to herself, fully aware that is in fact what she was.
"Follow me, for discretion, extra I will pay."
She had followed him to the back alley, there was a small area that the security cameras of the area did not manage to cover, one of thousands of such places all over the Capital District, but these places were largely patrolled, except here in the Red Lightsaber District. They stopped, pausing behind a dumpster. The small man paid his credits and handed her the extra.
"Paying well I am, for one so new at this."
Deela's eyes widened, "How did you know that I..."
It was then that Yoda removed the hood from over his head.
"Oh I understand now, you're a member of the Council, I see you in the holos all the time. You must be the greatest force user on the council!"
"Ohhh, ummm, yess powerful Yoda is..." Yoda, contrary to popular belief, was not a humble man, but damned if he didn't cover for his lack of force talent with cryptic wisdom that made everyone think he was a genius. MAce Windu, Plo Koon, hell even those fuckers Kenobi and Skywalker were tougher, the only reason Yoda had beaten Dooku at Geonosis was because there is nothing more disconcerting that have a little green dwarf chuck himself at you flinging a lightsaber uncontrollably. Dooku had not been bested as Yoda had reported, but had fled to his ship laughing so hard that he was unable to summon the Force to kill all three Jedi he faced. "...but secret, this encounter must be."
"Don't worry hon, you can trust me."
Yoda sensed her with the force again, this bitch was going to rat him out. Normally that was cause enough to carve her into unrecognizeable body parts with the lightsaber and leave her in the nearby dumpster, pass her off to the authorities as a Padawan lightsaber accident. But living for the better part of a millenium comes with a price, erections came only once every hundred years or so. The Jedi Code forbade attatchment but did not explicitly forbid carnal relations, which was why many Jedi frequented prostitutes around and near the temple, or were castrated as infants like Mace Windu. NOw that would be a shock, Mace Windu had the biggest bantha in the herd but lacked the horns. At any rate, Yoda's raging hormones were in overdrive, he had to get laid, and this was the only decent looking whore on the whole block. He wasn't concerned though, the Force would take care of him.
Deela watched as Yoda began removing his robes and undoing his belt, her face contorted into a discerning smirk as she wondered what it was she could actually do for him.
"Judge me by my size do you?"
"Well I errrr ummmm....."
"Judge me by my size you should!"
Deela finally uncupped her hands from her mouth, the shock of the giant twenty five inch penis with 8 inch girth caused her eyes to nearly force their way out of their sockets. It was like a large green Ryloth Jungle Python sticking straight out of a mound of unkempt greay pubic hair. Her lekku twitched nervously and uncontrollably. Yoda could see the shock on her face and feel her surprise through the Force, it aroused him to no end, almost as much as it would arouse him to stretch this girl enough so that they could land a few LAATs. Deela dropped to her knees and took it into her hands, cupping it and flicking the tip of her tongue outwards to stroke the soft supple skin, but before she could gingerly and tenderly pleasure her client, yoda used the force to push on the back of her skull and suppress her gag reflex, Deela's head slid all the way...
2 Hours later
Yoda had finally finished using the Force to purge Deela's memories of the encounter. He was sorely tempted to take his money back also, but the payment for services rendered provided him with enough emotional attachment so that he was still in line with the Jedi Code. Deela had collapsed and Yoda had tossed her into the dumpster and covered her with her coat, so that her gaping fuckholes would not catch a draft. The passed out Deela would awake in the back of a Waste Management Hovertruck about two kilometers from the temple.
Yoda sighed, it would be another hundred years or so before he could do this again, and his cock had reverted to its regular marginal state. He felt demeaned and embarassed for requiring a prostitute, but it was still better than the estimated 4% of Jedi Masters who molested their Padawans.