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Hmm...I think I'll stay in space for awhile...

Great chapter.

Captain_Cyran wrote:LOL!

Great chapter Kuja. Loved the whole Lamp post incident. Though I'd never insinuate that Zaia was a wicked witch...Unless of course there was someone to take the fall for it so I wouldn't get killed.

I'm comin' after you while you sleep, Cyran. *eyes glow red*

Hmmmm.... the current trend in fanfics seems to be Zaia kicking ass.

Zaia wrote:

Captain_Cyran wrote:LOL!

Great chapter Kuja. Loved the whole Lamp post incident. Though I'd never insinuate that Zaia was a wicked witch...Unless of course there was someone to take the fall for it so I wouldn't get killed.

I'm comin' after you while you sleep, Cyran. *eyes glow red*

Oh really now?...Hmmm. I don't know if I should be scared or excited...

Captain_Cyran wrote: Oh really now?...Hmmm. I don't know if I should be scared or excited...

My guess .... be afraid. Be VERY afraid!

(What movie was that from? )

2000AD wrote:Hmmmm.... the current trend in fanfics seems to be Zaia kicking ass.

Indeed. I like it.

Although I think I was more kickass in DF's story--it's hard to be ultimately kickass when one has a hat shoved over one's face.

Zaia wrote:

2000AD wrote:Hmmmm.... the current trend in fanfics seems to be Zaia kicking ass.

Indeed. I like it.

Now, just don't let it go to your head...

*disappears back into depths of obscurity, where he belongs...*

[vadervoice]

Your Lack of Fanboy in this Chapter Disturbs me

[/vadervoice]

Part 26: No Nukes!


*HIT-MAN, DALTON, STRAVO, and a somewhat bandaged ZAIA all sit or stand around a sidewalk bench*

STRAVO: So now what to we do?

DALTON: There's not much we can do.

STRAVO: But...there's gotta be something!

ZAIA: There's nothing, all right?! We lost them, now they're free to do anything they want, got it?!

*silence*

LT: So...we're screwed.

ZAIA: Yes. Unless something goes wrong with their plans.

*CUT TO: a local gun store as KUJA and CYRAN are escorted out by a pair of beefy security guys*

KUJA: All I want it a 50-megaton nuclear weapon! Is that too much to ask for?

SECURITY 1: Sir, please calm down.

KUJA: You guys make a living selling offensive weaponry, don't you? Why don't you have any nukes in stock?

SECURITY 2: Sir, there's nothing we can do about it.

CYRAN: Cheapskates! Back home we can buy four for a quarter!

KUJA: Yeah!

SECURITY 1: Well then, why don't you toddle on home, kids. Good night.

*the SECURITY go back inside. KUJA and CYRAN begin to walk away, then KUJA suddenly stops*

CYRAN: What's up?

KUJA: Cyran, what did you learn in school?

CYRAN: Reading, writing, and arithmetic.

KUJA: They teach you anything about revenge?

CYRAN: No, I learned that on my own.

KUJA: Good.

*they spin. KUJA throws a fireball and CYRAN throws an ice blast. The store erupts into a hail of sparks and snowflakes*

SECURITY 1: OH GOD, WE'RE FREEZING TO DEATH AND BURNING ALIVE AT THE SAME TIME!

SECURITY 2: MY RIGHT SIDE IS BLACK AND MY LEFT IS BLUE!

KUJA: Of course, you realize that this brings a whole new meaning to the phrase no nukes.

CYRAN: Yeah, no nukes!

COUNTER GUY: AND WE HAD AN 80-MEGATONNER UNDER THE COUNTER THE WHOLE TIME!

*they freeze*

KUJA: HANG ON!

CYRAN: WE'RE COMING!

KUJA: DON'T DIE!

*they bravely rush into the store. Time passes. They emerge triumphantly carrying a large warhead*

KUJA: We did it!

CYRAN: We're gonna be heroes!

*they start rushing down the street when CYRAN stops*

CYRAN: Hey, weren't there some people in there, too?

*all the ammo in the store detonates at once*

KUJA: Not anymore.

CYRAN: Oh well. Can't be helped now.

*KUJA checks his watch*

KUJA: Let's go. We've gotta get everything set up before the crowd arrives.

*CUT TO: STRAVO and the others*

STRAVO: Well, if all our lives are going to end, I say we get one last drink.

LT: I'm with that.

ZAIA: Oh hell, why not. Then I can die drunk and surrounded by guys.

*they start to walk towards the nearest bar when a piece of paper is blown across the street into DALTON'S face. He grabs it and is about to throw it away when he stops and reads it*

DALTON: Guys! I've saved the day!

OTHERS: Huh?

DALTON: *reads* Come to the ultimate rave tonight on top of the Empire State Building. Beer, snacks, and music courtesy of Black Magic Ltd. The night will conclude with the greatest fireworks show ever seen in Washington DC.

LT: Washington? But we're in New York.

*a beat*

STRAVO: Oh shit.

ZAIA: Well, it's obviously too late to stop them, since it's already after sundown. Let's just grab a drink.

DALTON: But if we go to the rave and fail anyway, we can still get drunk and die in the middle of a party!

STRAVO: Yeah, it's win-win!

ZAIA: OK, let's go!

LT: Party time!

*fade out*

Hahahahahahaha! You sir, are a god, Kuja.

Normally, I wouldn't go to a party, even with fireworks... but nuclear weapons... hrmm...

Singular Quartet wrote:Normally, I wouldn't go to a party, even with fireworks... but nuclear weapons... hrmm...

Yeah, makes it all the more appealing.

Aya wrote:

Singular Quartet wrote:Normally, I wouldn't go to a party, even with fireworks... but nuclear weapons... hrmm...

Yeah, makes it all the more appealing.

I KNOW! But... meh, doubt I'll make it. No matter.. *disappears back into the depths of anonymousness...*

Aya wrote:

Singular Quartet wrote:Normally, I wouldn't go to a party, even with fireworks... but nuclear weapons... hrmm...

Yeah, makes it all the more appealing.

Kuja and I know how to throw parties.

Loved the bit about the greatest fireworks show ever seen in Washington D.C. Kuja. Very nice.

1. Kuja: Very good chapter, but as I am all bandaged up, I really should save my strength and not talk too much. Go on, run with it; I set you up.

2. Singular Q: You realize that by constantly disappearing into the depths of anonymity, you make yourself well-known, right?

Zaia wrote:1. Kuja: Very good chapter, but as I am all bandaged up, I really should save my strength and not talk too much. Go on, run with it; I set you up.

2. Singular Q: You realize that by constantly disappearing into the depths of anonymity, you make yourself well-known, right?

Zaia: You know you can take your logic and shove it, right?

*drops like a rock back into the lake of anynominimity, althoguh it may have been bad spelling.*

Singular Quartet wrote:Zaia: You know you can take your logic and shove it, right?

Doncha just hate it when I'm right?

Singular Q wrote:*drops like a rock back into the lake of anynominimity, althoguh it may have been bad spelling.*

LOL

Kuja wrote:
DALTON: *reads* Come to the ultimate rave tonight on top of the Empire State Building. Beer, snacks, and music courtesy of Black Magic Ltd. The night will conclude with the greatest fireworks show ever seen in Washington DC.

LT: Washington? But we're in New York.

*a beat*

STRAVO: Oh shit.

When I read that announcement I also took a beat to get it. Very nice. Nukes always lend an air of subtle humor to any story....right?

Stravo wrote:When I read that announcement I also took a beat to get it. Very nice. Nukes always lend an air of subtle humor to any story....right?

As subtle as roses and chocolates.

Stormbringer and Fanboy will save the day, or at least somehow aid in the utter failure of the day, I just know it!

Raves, Gnomes, Nukes, Zaia in a Cat Suit, this has NY times besteller written all over it

is this going to end?

Ace Pace wrote:is this going to end?

No. Not ever. You will be ninety-two and black mages will still be wreaking havoc upon NYC, Stravo will still be attempting to find a groove that fits, and Zaia will still have razor-sharp claws that she will whip out whenever she feels like it.

Zaia wrote:

Ace Pace wrote:is this going to end?

No. Not ever. You will be ninety-two and black mages will still be wreaking havoc upon NYC, Stravo will still be attempting to find a groove that fits, and Zaia will still have razor-sharp claws that she will whip out whenever she feels like it.

And boobs that hang down to the floor.

Aya wrote:And boobs that hang down to the floor.

And a castrated friend named Aya. *sharpens*

I said you would be ninety-two; didn't say the characters would be too. So: .