Annoying action movies cliches

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2008-06-03 05:37am

I hate when a person runs through a clear area, ducking, while dozens of people fire into that area with automatic assault rifles.

And the person is alive and unharmed, often.

That's downright moronic.

Also, Steven Segal's movies reach a level of cliche idiocy no other action movie ever managed, in my view

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-06-03 05:39am

Stas Bush wrote: Also, Steven Segal's movies reach a level of cliche idiocy no other action movie ever managed, in my view

I'll take your SS movies and up you...

OPERATION DELTA FORCE.

Seriously. Dumbest action movie ever.

tim31 · Post by **tim31** » 2008-06-03 08:44am

Kanastrous wrote:
chitoryu12 wrote:
Ugh. Reminds me of Independence Day. Of course, they have to follow the rule that the family pet never dies. So just as the family runs into a maintenence passage in a tunnel as a huge fireball comes roaring down, their Golden Retriever comes bounding in just two feet from the flames, and they're all perfectly all right.
And of course the flame front never expands laterally into the space where our family - and pet - are hiding...

That scene left me wondering why, if not incinerated, they didn't suffocate from either smoke or lack of oxygen thanks to the wall o' fire.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2008-06-03 09:34am

ACtually in the lightnings too, in both cases it's an aristocrat duelist steubens and abby. They both are wanky good with a pistol, but smart enough to know that SMGs, assult rifles, and other long range weapons are better.

Schuyler Colfax · Post by **Schuyler Colfax** » 2008-06-03 01:02pm

Oh yeah, how did I forget this one.

The good guy (or the guy's girl) is about to get killed and then there's that last minute save. I wouldn't mind it if they did it in some kind of ultra uber cool badass away but, I've never seen it done in a way that impressed me.

Shogoki · Post by **Shogoki** » 2008-06-03 01:54pm

No matter how good of a fighter they might be, anybody who is even slightly muscular no match for scrawny guy/girl who knows a little karate.

Schuyler Colfax · Post by **Schuyler Colfax** » 2008-06-03 02:20pm

There's also the annoying little kid who can fight, whether its accidentally knocking out the random henchmen or punching him in the balls.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2008-06-03 02:21pm

No matter how complex or multi-layered any encrypted system is, there's always a way to "work around it" and get to the file you want -

- although regardless of file size or the media you're copying to, the copy process can only be done from a terminal in the bad guy's office, and the bad guy will always walk in within three seconds of the download's completion.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-06-03 02:34pm

Kanastrous wrote:No matter how complex or multi-layered any encrypted system is, there's always a way to "work around it" and get to the file you want -

- although regardless of file size or the media you're copying to, the copy process can only be done from a terminal in the bad guy's office, and the bad guy will always walk in within three seconds of the download's completion.

Also, if the download is 99% complete, you will not get the file period. You won't get 99% of the data you wanted, you won't get any.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-06-03 02:41pm

This isn't necessarily unrealistic; some fucktarded programs will actually delete the temporary data if interrupted before completion...

Yeah, but I really think a super-spy agency gunning for files crucial to saving the world would have a better IT setup than Windows

Zixinus · Post by **Zixinus** » 2008-06-03 03:27pm

Laser sights. I have yet to see one example where they are used properly. Either its the big tip off for the good guy to know that he's targeted or its not used at all, even in a situation where it would be useful (like when precision shooting would be handy).

Also, how characters show no subtle signs of pains after being injured (they either are wallowing in it and bitching about it, while telling you with the most unconvincing fashion that they are going to be ok) and are rarely ever crippled. They also appear to have a limitless amount of blood, as they are rarely ever concerned about, you know, bleeding to death.

Either the human body is shown to be a frail, sensitive thing or as if it was made out of steel.

Also, could we get a protagonist who ISN'T an ass and actually knows diplomacy and negotiation?

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2008-06-03 03:31pm

Zixinus wrote: Also, could we get a protagonist who ISN'T an ass and actually knows diplomacy and negotiation?

"Anybody else want to negotiate?"

speaker-to-trolls · Post by **speaker-to-trolls** » 2008-06-03 06:23pm

Being shot through the lung is fatal, but only after enough time has past for one to give a long speech declaring that you never stopped loving your ex/always looked up to your partner/whatever you feel needs to be said in your last minutes. Also, heat and blunt force cannot hurt you, anyone who says different is just being a pansy (this is actually more annoying on TV shows where there are more opportunities for it to happen, all the human characters on Smallville should at least be paralysed from the neck down with all the beatings they've taken).

CaptHawkeye · Post by **CaptHawkeye** » 2008-06-03 07:12pm

What's a gun sight? The hero has supreme hip-fire accuracy with all weapons and will only use the sight of a gun if its for sniping.

How about snipers in general? Action movies treat them like they're modern day ninjas.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2008-06-03 08:44pm

sniper vs. pirate vs. ninja

Oskuro · Post by **Oskuro** » 2008-06-03 09:18pm

Kanastrous wrote:

"Anybody else want to negotiate?"

Bruce Willis doesn't count, he's a movie genre all on his own... If only because he's guilty of most of the aforementioned cliches, but he makes them look good.

chitoryu12 · Post by **chitoryu12** » 2008-06-03 09:20pm

Stas Bush wrote:I hate when a person runs through a clear area, ducking, while dozens of people fire into that area with automatic assault rifles.

And the person is alive and unharmed, often.

That's downright moronic.

Go play Time Crisis 3. They have a scene where the two player characters happen upon a wrecked ship on the beach where they start out, and when they spot literally dozens of soldiers and several jeeps all charging at them, firing P90 submachine guns, stand there and agree to go into the ship to hide (keep in mind the soldiers are by this point a few dozen yards away), then start running.

Of course, that IS a game series where enemies armed with pistols can miss several times at literally point-blank range when you're standing still.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2008-06-04 12:37am

Zixinus wrote:Also, how characters show no subtle signs of pains after being injured (they either are wallowing in it and bitching about it, while telling you with the most unconvincing fashion that they are going to be ok) and are rarely ever crippled. They also appear to have a limitless amount of blood, as they are rarely ever concerned about, you know, bleeding to death.

Though there are those moments when it's, just, you know, super.

I say, anyone for tennis?

TithonusSyndrome · Post by **TithonusSyndrome** » 2008-06-04 01:32am

This isn't just limited to action movies, but the cartoonish operating systems that make constant beeping sounds for the most mundane actions, like scrolling some text across the screen, and resemble no kind of OS whatsoever. I guess this isn't as bad as it was in the 90's, though.

Oskuro · Post by **Oskuro** » 2008-06-04 04:33am

I've noticed that they also tend to go a bit overboard when killing the bad guy. Instead of just shooting him, he often is burnt, mauled, electrocuted, squished and run over.... twice.

Guess they do it to drive home the point that he is finally dead, and to give some satisfaction to the audience, but sometimes it feels cliched.

An example of this? Cyrus the Virus, from Con Air, was stabbed, crashed through the windows of an overpass, electrocuted on high-voltage lines, and finally regained conciousness to see a piece of machinery smash his skull. All in the same scene, mind you.

Napoleon the Clown · Post by **Napoleon the Clown** » 2008-06-04 05:18am

Pistols are good for when you need to conceal a firearm relatively easily. If concealment isn't an issue, or if you've got a means of hiding a fairly large firearm, go with something a bit... nastier. 12 gauge with an 18" or so barrel and minimal extra length. You get the full burn on the chemical charge, and most of the time the slug is rifled or you'll be using shot, which isn't too horribly effected by barrel length at the ranges it's best suited for. Rifles are ideal for armor, distance, etc. Though pistols will do better against armor and other barriers over most shot.*

Any instance where there's an opportunity for a main character, be it protagonist or antagonist, to kill the person that is a major threat but doesn't. The protagonist not killing an obviously very dangerous individual when he has the chance is especially irritating.

When the Bad Guy intentionally leaves behind clues because he's JUST THAT GOOD. No, sorry. The guys that don't do everything they can to cover their tracks get caught in short order.

Explosions in general.

The depictions of martial arts REALLY piss me off, sometimes. Most hand-to-hand combat is very short. And for the love of whatever you find sacred, any wasted movement is a Bad Thing. Haymakers, roundhouse kicks, etc. Watch someone who really knows how to kick ass sometime. Competition martial arts are pretty. The stuff that is truly good for self defense is simple, brutal, and impressive due to the end result, not the lead up.

*Note regarding the whole pistol/shot: Shot tends to overpenetrate a lot less than most pistol rounds. That's why cops use 00 buckshot, and why it's often trumpeted as the ideal home defense ammo. It'll kill a person dead reliably, but it will be less prone to going through a lot of things.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2008-06-04 05:29am

Destructionator XIII wrote:
PeZook wrote:Also, if the download is 99% complete, you will not get the file period. You won't get 99% of the data you wanted, you won't get any.
This isn't necessarily unrealistic; some fucktarded programs will actually delete the temporary data if interrupted before completion...

Or the file system may do transactional writes.

hongi · Post by **hongi** » 2008-06-04 06:33am

I hate the high-techcomputer systems that zero into a person's face. Y'know, those narrowing squares that clears up the part you want to see. It's used waaaay too much.

Also, I hate it when an evil guy presses a button and the camera zooms into the mechanism (usually bad CGI) and we see the electricty coursing through the processors and wires etc etc. Used way too much.

darthbob88 · Post by **darthbob88** » 2008-06-04 02:46pm

hongi wrote:I hate the high-techcomputer systems that zero into a person's face. Y'know, those narrowing squares that clears up the part you want to see. It's used waaaay too much.

Ah, yes, CSI and their infinite-resolution CCDs. It doesn't matter how much your target was moving, how poor the shot was, or how far away the picture was taken from, you can still zoom/sharpen the picture enough to see every zit on the target's face.

Ted C · Post by **Ted C** » 2008-06-04 03:02pm

The Sci-Fi Channel original movies (shiver) pull this one all the time...

One of the heroes/heroines gets dragged/knocked/sent to certain doom by the villain/monster, yet after the remaining hero(es)/heroine(s) dispatch(es) said villain/monster, the doomed person reappears without serious harm.