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Stampede wrote: i swear Cal..if you ever try that with me in the car, i'm gonna kick your damn window out.

I did remember. The fumes paralyzed your neverous system so damn fast I don't even think you could smell the thing, much less remember it. Bombs away!

Hehe, ill never forget the time I let a huge one rip the instant I shot a load from masturbating

Personally I just think farting is funny because it SOUNDS funny when people do it. I cant explain why though, it just is. The only time I hate them is when people drop those silent ones that make no sound but stink up the place. If theres no sound with em and they stink, it aint funny.

Icehawk wrote:Hehe, ill never forget the time I let a huge one rip the instant I shot a load from masturbating

Oh, well that was nice. So you had a little fanfare to accompany the Protein Mortar bombardment.

LMFAO

You guys are hilarious!

That reminds me of the time I let one off in my 7th grade english class.

I was sitting in my desk, working on my classword when suddenly the pressure started building up. I tried to hold it by clinchind down on my anal muscles and concentrating on something else. I had helt it for a good while till one of my friends started talking to me and told a downright hilarious joke. That did it. There was no mistaking who did it. I let it out, long and HARD as I laughed. Right then everyone in the room went silent and just stared at me for a second, then busted out laughing. Funny thing is, my desk was right next to the door! There was no possible way of any ventilation out other than that door.

About half an hour later, the period was over and I got out of my seat and started packing my stuff away for next period. Right then, this chick walks in and stands next to my seat (which is where she sat) and made the comment that the seat STUNK. It was all I could to do keep from laughing.

This is so not worth the three pages its accumulated -_-

aphexmonster wrote:This is so not worth the three pages its accumulated -_-

I beg to differ. I was in tears laughing from some of the posts in this thread. I am so glad I registered here.

Vertigo1 wrote:

aphexmonster wrote:This is so not worth the three pages its accumulated -_-

I beg to differ. I was in tears laughing from some of the posts in this thread. I am so glad I registered here.

So, a thread about farting is worth more to you than the months of intelligent debate, conversation, and dismembering of trolls that have come before it?

DPDarkPrimus wrote:So, a thread about farting is worth more to you than the months of intelligent debate, conversation, and dismembering of trolls that have come before it?

I wouldn't go THAT far. This is one of the better threads I've read though.

Everyone needs to laugh. It prevents our minds from becoming gibbering piles of goo.

I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else, but when I stay up all night and don't sleep, I start farting, badly. Anyway my cousin and I were at an all night gathering of people where we stayed up all night drinking coke and playing Risk.
The next morning, we hopped on a bus, barely conscious with eyes as red as sunburnt skin, we got into some seats, and by then I was aware of the smells I was creating, for an hour and a half I slipped in and out of consciosness, noticing that other passengers were avoiding us like the plague. I remember asking Luke somewhat loudly, sounding stoned out of my brain "Mannn, what reeks.", I think the driver turned around at that point, she looked annoyed. We then hopped off the bus, not before I let off the loudest thing I've ever done, that one actually hurt, which as I understand it is not a good sign.

That's my only fart story.

Gandalf wrote:I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else, but when I stay up all night and don't sleep, I start farting, badly. Anyway my cousin and I were at an all night gathering of people where we stayed up all night drinking coke and playing Risk.
The next morning, we hopped on a bus, barely conscious with eyes as red as sunburnt skin, we got into some seats, and by then I was aware of the smells I was creating, for an hour and a half I slipped in and out of consciosness, noticing that other passengers were avoiding us like the plague. I remember asking Luke somewhat loudly, sounding stoned out of my brain "Mannn, what reeks.", I think the driver turned around at that point, she looked annoyed. We then hopped off the bus, not before I let off the loudest thing I've ever done, that one actually hurt, which as I understand it is not a good sign.

That's my only fart story.

LOL! Has anyone ripped a fart that has been loud enough to wake the sleeping?

Dalton wrote:Everyone needs to laugh. It prevents our minds from becoming gibbering piles of goo.

:::sweeps up accumulated brain goo scatered around the forum:::

Mark S wrote:

irishmick79 wrote:It's even worse when you unload in a packed car with closed windows. Only evil and sadistic bastards have the balls to do that. Nobody deserves that kind of pain and punishment.

*raises hand slowly. looks around* Car trip. Family vacation. It made its way around the car from one person to the next. Somehow I was the last to actually smell it and by that time I was in tears of laughter from everyone else being hit one by one, screatching and opening windows.

*slow recollection of exact same situation*
I can't understand how people can expect you to prevent yourself from doing something you can't help. But the humour factor doesn't help your cause, does it?

I even did it once in a friend's car; everyone was opening windows, and he even pulled over to the side of the road, and threatened to make me walk if I did it again.

The humor factor and the fact that one can light them on fire does not help either...

Next of Kin wrote:LOL! Has anyone ripped a fart that has been loud enough to wake the sleeping?

I have, got an as kicking the next day though, as I was asleep when doing it.

Next of Kin wrote:

Gandalf wrote:I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else, but when I stay up all night and don't sleep, I start farting, badly. Anyway my cousin and I were at an all night gathering of people where we stayed up all night drinking coke and playing Risk.
The next morning, we hopped on a bus, barely conscious with eyes as red as sunburnt skin, we got into some seats, and by then I was aware of the smells I was creating, for an hour and a half I slipped in and out of consciosness, noticing that other passengers were avoiding us like the plague. I remember asking Luke somewhat loudly, sounding stoned out of my brain "Mannn, what reeks.", I think the driver turned around at that point, she looked annoyed. We then hopped off the bus, not before I let off the loudest thing I've ever done, that one actually hurt, which as I understand it is not a good sign.

That's my only fart story.

LOL! Has anyone ripped a fart that has been loud enough to wake the sleeping?

Well, that's a good question. I'm not sure if it was the pure volume that woke the cat, or the fact that the cat decided to curl up next to my ass, but I have caused my cat to levitate out of a sound sleep. Accidentally, of course.

The worst part is that the cat can actually taste what it smells...

Crayz9000 wrote:The worst part is that the cat can actually taste what it smells...

Oh, Gods! As if I didn't feel bad enough!

But that does explain why Axis gets pissy every time she catches me making burritos...

farts rule!

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:Oh, Gods! As if I didn't feel bad enough!

But that does explain why Axis gets pissy every time she catches me making burritos...

Well, look on the bright side. The cat has to put up with itself every time it uses the litterbox, so it's probably used to that sort of smell...

I have a few fart stories, which i will attempt not to embelish what happened....

1) Location: A LAN party at nick's house
Culprit: The Luke
synopsis: Early in the morning after the LAN, we were all wasted shadows of our former selves, clearly sleep deprivation was working its funky magic on all of us.
Tony (AKA Sox on this board) gets up and leaves the room to go to have a piss, in the bathroom which is opposite the room we're in, he closes the door on the way out and enters the bathroom.

We're all talking about random shit, about what tony "might" be doing in the bathroom, when, suddenly, luke does an almost scream, clearly the boy is in pain...

...out come several extremely bassy vibrations, that can be felt easily through the bed i am sat on, at first i think an apache helicopter is near by, as the thunderous beats are pounding into the floor and everything else in the room.

After approximately 2 seconds of wondering what this cacoghphany was, i understand...it's luke, his face contorted somewhere between ecstacy and pain.

After the 10 second release, there is an uneasy silence as we don't know where to go from here...then someone gets the idea it will probably be a good idea if we open the windows.

Tony comes back from the bathroom, with a perplexed look on his face.

"Did you hear that?" i ask.

"What the hell was it?" asks tony, land we tell him.

It was one damn loud fart. DAMN LOUD. And so luke will be forever remembered in the an(n)als of bottom burpery.

Its true, it was one hell of a bassy fart, the bass of which i have only ever once experienced before, and that was when 2 Fully Loaded Chinouk Helicopters flew low over our house.