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Ha, these are nice. I think there's a lot of potential with this idea. I'd suggest some ideas for my card if not for the facts that I have no knowledge of Magic's system, and I'm not exactly a prominant member here.

I'll be looking forward to seeing what else you come up with, though!

Hrm, just for the helluvit. . .

General Zod

Type: Fundie Slayer

Effect: Orbital Eye Lasers

Color: Red

Stats: 3/3, tap 2 red Mana for +1/+1 vs. anti pr0n nutjobs and gain Mountainwalk for the remainder of the scene.

If there are no anti-pr0n whackaloons in play, Eye Lasers cost +3 more to
activate, due to general apathy.

The Yosemite Bear

green/red



G add +0/1 token to creature at any time as an instant so long as the bear is not tapped or blocking.
R tap add -1/0 sarcasm token to creature at any so long as the bear is not elegible to do so.

stats: 0/5

come on I suck at debate, and besides logevity, I have no teeth, I'm just big.

Nephtys - Summon Cynical Cannonfodder (G)

0/1

May only attack on every other weekday.
Any creature blocked by Nephtys gains +1/+0 and trample.
Insult your opponent to take Nephtys from your graveyard into your hand.


Postcount Plus (insert number here)[/i]

How about this.

and another Version of Yosemite, slightly modified:

Rabid Monkey labs.

Allows player to either ressurect one dead card. Clone an opponents card. Counter any special ability an opponnt has. Enhance the ability playing character has.

Power costs cut in half if Typhonis, Yosemite Bear, Kelly Antillies,or Ast.Ast.Cmd Smi cards are in play in players hand.


since I have no clue how MTG works may need to ask Bear what my abilitie are.......

Oh, come now, Noble Ire. Nepthys is hardly as bad as all that.

Ok It seems by looking through this thread again I have no idea what these cards are all about and I don't get why they are funny or whatever so don't bother wasting time on one for me as I wont get it anyway (just in case someone was thinking about it)

Ahhhhhhhh I want one

Lord Zentei wrote:Oh, come now, Noble Ire. Nepthys is hardly as bad as all that.

I didn't think so either, but I give 'em what they ask for.

Typhonis:

Ahhhhhhhh I want one

Just give me the specs, or at least a general idea.

Crossroads Inc.
3 colourless, 3 white.

Classification: 'Cool' Starship Fan.

0/3

If any starships are in play, Crossroads Inc. gets +2/+2
If any Debaters are in play, Crossroads Inc. gets -2/-2

"Calculations? Facts and figures? Debating on more then Opinions? Ah!!!"

Kelly's Playpen



Infamous Land-Brothel


T tap any number of creatures you control for R each.


The Brotherhood of the Monkey, never will you find a more sordid den of perversion and deviance.

Typhonis

1/4

Abilities.

Can tap an oponents card for one mana of any color but said mana must be the same type as printed on said card and only one card may be tapped at one time.Unless Rabid monkey labs is played when he can tap 2 cards.


gains +1/0 if played with The Yosemite Bear, Kelly Antillies, Ast.Ast.Cmdr Smee.

Hmm. How about this?

---

Village Idiot

1 Colorless Mana

Enchantment -- Aura

If AdmiralKanos, Son of the Sons, or Wookiee is in play, attach this aura to an opponent's card.

That card cannot be untapped as long as Village Idiot is attached.

"Yes, I am smarter than you. In fact, the average person is smarter than you." ~Darth Wong

---

(Did I get the quote right?)

Modified slightly. There aren't really any colorless enchantments.

Kelly Antillies 1RR

Rabid Monkey

if Zaia is present Kelly gets +1/-2
if AYVB is present Kelly gets /+1

tap and spend red mana equal to the total mana cost to bury a target male card.

1/3

Noble Ire wrote:<znippy mgznip>
Modified slightly. There aren't really any colorless enchantments.

Nice. Modifications for verisimilitude are perfectly all right in any of my suggestions.

EDIT:

Worthless Trolling Palmfucker

Enchantment -- Aura

Only use if AdmiralKanos, Son of the Sons, or The Wookiee is in play.

Upon attachment to an opponent's card, that card may not be untapped.

Ability: Remove Avatar. Take a razor and cut out the image on the attacked card.

"...generally used for the type of people who show up, make no points at all, and just generally try to annoy everyone with stupid posts." ~the Shit List

Imperial SmackDown 4colorless 2red Sorcery

Destroy all idiots, trolls, fundamentalists, trekkies, and racists in play. All your creatures gain +6/+0 and Trample until end of turn and must attack.

Someone think of a good quote to go with this one. I got nothing.



Tinkerbell 2 colorless 1green Legendary Creature- Cute

Reduce all damage dealt to Tinkerbell to zero.

*pops out of a cukecake*

0/2



Mrs. Kendall 3 colorless 2 white Legendary Creature- Mother

Tap: Prevent 4 damage that would be dealt to target creature, if creature is Cpl. Kendall prevent 8 damage.

Tap, white: Prevent all damage dealt so far this turn.

Again, need a quote for this.

0/4

Only now at the end do you understand


Cry havok and let slip the dogs of war



Shit played with RML thais could give a card a +8/0 in one round


For Mrs Kendall..... A mothers love......