My Little Pony

[evilsoup]

My headcanon is that Fancy Pants is Celestia's spymaster-general. After his original meeting with Rarity, he ran a background check and realised who she was - this is why he went to such lengths to shove her in the middle of the Canterlot social scene, and why he covered for her at the end.

He was surprised when he first met Rarity - 'you know the princess?' - because he hadn't been briefed that she was coming.

This makes 'Fleur de Lis' a Bond-pony.

[Skgoa]

And that is a good explanation for her not being jealous of Rarity, too. She isn't his trophy-pony after all.

[open_sketchbook]

My headcanon is that Fancy Pants is Celestia's spymaster-general. After his original meeting with Rarity, he ran a background check and realised who she was - this is why he went to such lengths to shove her in the middle of the Canterlot social scene, and why he covered for her at the end.

He was surprised when he first met Rarity - 'you know the princess?' - because he hadn't been briefed that she was coming.

This makes 'Fleur de Lis' a Bond-pony.

This is now in my headcanon.

[Molyneux]

My headcanon is that Fancy Pants is Celestia's spymaster-general. After his original meeting with Rarity, he ran a background check and realised who she was - this is why he went to such lengths to shove her in the middle of the Canterlot social scene, and why he covered for her at the end.

He was surprised when he first met Rarity - 'you know the princess?' - because he hadn't been briefed that she was coming.

This makes 'Fleur de Lis' a Bond-pony.

That...is too cool to NOT be true.
Sadly I don't think I'll have time to watch the new episode tomorrow for awhile.

[RogueIce]

I loved the episode. Very good, and Twilight was definately showing off her motherly side to Spike. Which is what I was hoping for, and it delivered.

Also some good humor. Twilight's sheepish look when she was going to give Spike a book, and of course Spike's Pimp Hat, courtesy of Cheerilee.

Also, Spike x Rarity shippers should rejoice after this episode as well.

It's also somewhat forboding as well. According to Zecora, this is what happens as dragons mature! Which is...not good. And raises the question: if Spike continues to be his generous self, will he stay a baby forever? Because if he does grow up, greed (and recluse) is his only fate! Kinda puts this famous comic in a new light, doesn't it?

[lordofchange13]

evilsoup one day your head-canon will be show-canon.

The scene with spike and the hat cheerolee gave him is now my favorite scene of the universe.

[lordofchange13]

I am happy and a little unconformable to say, that while watching this episode i felt other emotions then happiness. The knowledge that he may stay in the form of a baby dragon for century's must be horrible,from what i can remember of dragonshy.

[Zixinus]

Comments as I watch:

Wait, you can "tone" a gem? I know we can make artificial gems, but they can do too in Equastria?

It's nice to see the ponies remember Spike's birthday. The meme-brownies like to joke that Spike is often forgotten (like he wasn't invited to Twilight's birthday last episode) and see that it's not true. That, and Spike provides a bit of a counter-weight to the girls, especially with his (relatively) gentle sarcasm.

Heh, you would think that Twilight read everything she could scrounge up about dragons after taking one into her care.

Strange, Spike's maturity seems to actually make him more stupid. I mean, he stole a chicken coup. That's hilarious. Spike's usually the more observant and reserved member of the group.

Oh dear, that is going to be one hefty repair bill (sugarcube corner).

HOLY SHIT! PONYVILLE HAS AN AIR ATTACK ALARM!

It's nice to see the Wonderbolts do something other than do airshows and races. Even if they failed.

I really liked the scene where Spike was observing what he did from the bridge. I actually hoped that the whole rampaging thing would be elaborated upon.

In conclusion, I think the episode was interesting and a bit daring in that they are willing to show Spike losing control of himself and becoming a monster. The implications of his maturation are rather disturbing, but I think that's mostly because most of us are adults and think of it like that. To us, maturation is simply a part of life. To children, it's something to happen in the future and not much to think about.

EDIT: Oh, and this episode is going to throw my fanfic completely out of whack. Irrecoverably so, unless I really mess with the canon.

[RogueIce]

Heh, you would think that Twilight read everything she could scrounge up about dragons after taking one into her care.

It's possible none of the pony literature had anything about this. Zecora does seem to possess knowledge that other ponies might consider to be...unnatural?

Strange, Spike's maturity seems to actually make him more stupid. I mean, he stole a chicken coup. That's hilarious. Spike's usually the more observant and reserved member of the group.

Well, could be any dragon will go through the "grab anything and everything you can" phase. That and it did happen to him pretty quick. I would imagine that, had he been left in that state, he would have become much more discriminating in what he hoarded.

EDIT: If you assume baby dragons would normally be raised by their parents, it's possible their 'growth' is controlled because the mother and/or father dragons are much better at preventing young dragons from taking (or keeping) what they snatch. Or else are better able to direct them to more "valuable" things: gold, jewels, gems, etc. These items being a bit more rare (as well as probably most ending up in the parental stash) probably moderates dragon growth naturally, as well as teaching the younger ones what is or isn't worth grabbing.

Spike, unfortunately, had none of that, so he just started swiping things that he thought to be valuable: or rather, things he saw others probably count as valuable. And of course grew unnaturally.

[Crazedwraith]

Hmm. Good episode. Better than the last couple of weeks but the resolution seems weird. A Dragon's age is basically entirely mutable? Zecora said greed=aging. But ungreeding also means deaging? This episode raises a lot of questions about dragon biology.

Nice to see Fluttershy's fear of Dragons revisited and apparently Spike managed not to get riled up enough to use The Stare on him. Fluttershy also continues to be a much stronger flier in times of need; she was keeping up with RD at rainbow creating speeds for a second then.

Interestingly Cheerilee uses 'Everypony' in reference to Spike. Previous ponies have modified that when they're talking to not Pony. (AB to Zecora: I've heard that from everypony I know and now every Zebra I know as well)

[Zixinus]

I am a bit peeved at how Zecora seems to be the only pony with useful knowledge about anything that the Mane 6 can't figure out for themselves. Some of the writers might be getting some soap underfoot.

As for dragon growth... I am going to write it off as a curse. Look at the other two dragons seen in the show. They looked quite unlike Spike, but similar to each other (though, that's probably just saving with animation or something).

Meanwhile, Spike went from baby to super-size (I haven't counted it, but I am guessing that super-size Spike ended up actually larger than the other two dragons we saw). Maturation in most species takes some time and considering how much he grew since Twilight recieved him and the time she arrived in Ponyville... that's insanely quick. I don't think that's natural.

[open_sketchbook]

The globe in today's episode confirms that the planet is round, not flat. Hoorah!

[Revy]

I think dragons probably grow at a natural rate, but excessive greed can result in unnatural growth spurts such as this, which can also be negated by negating the greed. As long as Spike doesn't get too greedy, I think he should grow at a more normal rate and not turn into a stupid monster. Although I'm really guessing.

Aaaand the Wonderbolts fail to save the day. Again. If they keep that up Rainbow Dash might not even want to join them anymore.

Twilight can teleport people other than herself without also teleporting herself at the same time. Didn't know that. Also, I recently rewatched Fall Weather Friends, and in that one Twilight magically pulls a scroll out of thin air and makes it vanish again. What exactly was she reading?

I'm surprised they didn't do any Godzilla jokes. Good episode anyway, even if I'm not a SpikexRarity fan. I still can't believe that Spike is voiced by Near from Death Note ... I'll never be able to see Near the same way anymore.

[RogueIce]

I would not say the Wonderbolts are useless. They did last longer than RD or Fluttershy, after all. Even managed to, uh, trim Spike's spikes. Somehow. Sure they didn't stop Spike, but what exactly were they going to do to a full grown dragon? I suppose their plan was to gut-punch him, maybe loosening the tail and then catching Rarity? Sound enough plan I suppose, and the speed they'd build up for that probably explains why they couldn't turn away from the water tank in time. But as for actually stopping him...yeah, it'd take either Luna or Celestia for that (or the Mane Six using the Elementsof Harmony*).

And at least the 'Bolts tried to help. Where were the Pegasi Guards for this? Heck, look back at Sonic Rainboom: there were two guards there, and neither lifted a hoof to help Rarity.

*It's debatable whether that would work, though. Since Twilight is kinda the key to them, and she would certainly have lots of doubt and indecision at using them on Spike (to say nothing of the other Five, even if they did get Rarity back somehow). At best, the Elements would likely fail; at worst, it would be a repeat of Luna and he'd be banished for 1000 years - or worse (I maintain Celestia's sorrow at having to use them on her sister - as well as the disruption between the two itself - is why Nightmare Moon was banished instead of redeemed).

Incidently, I have realized that Spike taking Rarity, as opposed to any other pony he could have taken, is an act of brilliance and excellent characterization on the part of the writers (aside from the obvious King Kong reference). Think about it: what (or in this case, who) is more valuable to Spike than anything else in all of Ponyville? At least in terms of the (not so) little dragon's heart's desire. The most beautiful pony of them all!

I suppose, if you're that sort of person, you could take that in a creepy way. But really not; Spike was hardly in his right mind here, after all.

[lordofchange13]

Think about it: what (or in this case, who) is more valuable to Spike than anything else in all of Ponyville? At least in terms of the (not so) little dragon's heart's desire. The most beautiful pony of them all!

But...spike captured Rarity not Luna. Who is as beautiful as horse shaped cartoon characters can get.

[lordofchange13]

I still can't believe that Spike is voiced by Near from Death Note ... I'll never be able to see Near the same way anymore.

Ditto, you have destroyed my dark enjoyment of Death Note for ever!

[RogueIce]

Think about it: what (or in this case, who) is more valuable to Spike than anything else in all of Ponyville? At least in terms of the (not so) little dragon's heart's desire. The most beautiful pony of them all!

But...spike captured Rarity not Luna. Who is as beautiful as horse shaped cartoon characters can get.

I was speaking from Spike's perspective on that one. To him, Rarity is the most beautiful pony of them all.

Shocking as this may be, I don't find any of the ponies to be beautiful/sexy/etc.

EDIT: Oh, and on a more serious note... I seriously doubt any dragon would be capturing Luna (or Celestia, for that matter). Though it'd be hilarious to see them try.

Also for the irony: Spike was the one desperately fighting to save Rarity from being kidnapped by the Diamond Dogs, and was (trying) to lead the charge to rescue her. And now he has gone and kidnapped her.

Also the last scene with him staring over the damage he wrought was very, very poignant. Another instance (as with Luna at the Nightmare Moon statue) that managed to say a lot without any words being spoken.

[lordofchange13]

I never said sexy, i meant beautiful in the way that non bestiality humans admire other animals.

[Rossum]

Hmm, Discord was released when the CMC fought near his statue and now we learn that dragons grow larger when the hoard things greedily. This suggests that certain emotions have magical power in Equestria which can be harnessed (The Elements of Harmony being a benevolent example).

I suppose in the wild, the ability to grow giant when being greedy would be a huge boon to an organism (especially in a world with manticores and hydras and the like). A lone baby dragon without parents would just have to survive long enough until it learns to get greedy before it starts hoarding things to fuel its greed and thus grows too big to be threatened by local predators. Fortunately, dragons hoard and eat gems so it would likely just be a case of a lone dragon digging in a gem rich area, getting greedy, growing huge, and then use its increased size to scare off enemies while digging and hoarding more gems.

Spike didn't grow wings during his growth spurt so it's likely that even at his increased size he was just a really big baby dragon (his apparently decreased intelligence due to the sudden changes and greed overwhelming his brain until Rarity snapped him out of it). Since all it took to snap him back to baby size was a memory of being generous then its possible that wild dragons could go through occasional episodes of growing, hoarding, and snapping back once their greed is sated. Even if a greedy growth episode lasts only a day or so, that should be enough for a small dragon to scare off any potential threats while building up a stockpile of stuff for themselves. Having it last longer would just increase the amount of predator deterrence and supply gathering one could pull off at a time (which means that having dragons be naturally prone to greed would be a genuinely viable survival strategy).

Only problem is that it would make it hard for wild dragons to work together or co-exist with other creatures. Fighting ones natural greedy nature would be vital for peaceful co-existence with others. But then again, if a huge disaster strikes (like it has happened at least twice so far) then having a bunch of dragons panic into greedy hoarding mode (like humans do in a disaster) would likely result in a whole bunch of suddenly huge dragons running around collecting stuff. Odds are pretty good the dragons would survive (possibly along with whatever ponies said dragon grabs as well) and who knows... maybe some of those dragons would decide that Equestria is "theirs" and would attack whatever is threatening it while giant sized.

It makes you wonder how common it is for ponies to care for dragons and for said dragons to grow huge when greedy. I'd hate to be in Canterlot when some school-filly spoils her dragon with sweets which causes him to go on a supersized kleptomaniac spree in a city on the side of a cliff.

[Narkis]

Poor Spike. If that's what he has to look forward for when he grows up, he's fucked. And there's no hope in his crush for Rarity. Even if she reciprocates, even if all obvious problems are overcome, there's still the matter of their massively different lifespans. Mature dragons routinely sleep for a century. I really doubt ponies live for a century. There's a better than even chance that Spike won't even be an adult by dragon standards by the time Rarity reaches Granny Smith's age.

But wait, if the world is round, how does the whole "rising the Sun and Moon" work? Does the planet really need the sisters to keep spinning it? Or is it all just an elaborate ploy that began long ago by two absurdly powerful immortal magic-users so that they'd bring all ponies under their everlasting control?

Also some stuff that came up while I was watching previous episodes and I need to share with someone:

Why was the winter episode before the autumn one? And is cleaning up winter and autumn necessary, or just a pony tradition?

Pinkie sense? That's weird. Never showed up before. Or again.

Knight Spike was nice. More presentable than what the real grown-up Spike looks like.

A steam train pulled by ponies? Wtf? The rails and carriages and draft ponies I can sort-of-see if they haven't figured out steam power yet. But what's the point of the engine then? It's just dead weight.

Celestia is a troll. I remember thinking that in the Phoenix episode, but I can't remember why now. Still, I trust my past-self with these kind of judgment calls.

So, Rainbow Dash flew supersonic without either a rocket or a jet engine strapped on, made a legend come true, and was (indirectly) responsible for everyone getting their cutie marks? And all that while she was just a kid? Scootaloo's right, Dash rules.

Crazy Pinkie Pie is the best Pinkie Pie.

And so is crazy Fluttershy. Though not quite as crazy as Pinkie. Must be all the parties.

Discord is the greatest villain ever. Though he got defeated a bit too easily. And he really should have had a song of his own.

LUNA'S BACK, YAY! And Celestia's definitely a troll, she had more than a year (presumably) to tell her sister that thing's changed a bit in her absence, and didn't. Hope she got a good laugh out of it, at least.

Man, if it weren't for Celestia, the common ponies would've stormed the Bastille by now. These noble ponies aren't exactly fit to rule.

Do the occasional pangs of "Oh god, what the fuck am I watching?" ever go away? I thought they'd be gone by now, but it's very much not the case. Is it just because I saw everything too fast and my weeping inner adult still needs some time to internalise just how irrelevant he is?

[Revy]

I am a bit peeved at how Zecora seems to be the only pony with useful knowledge about anything that the Mane 6 can't figure out for themselves. Some of the writers might be getting some soap underfoot.

To be fair, I think it's more an excuse to give her something to do. She had very little screentime in Season 1 after we met her. Also, she offered no useful insight during the parasprite swarm, and despite knowing what they were did not know that music could be used to lure them. Pinkie knew.

And at least the 'Bolts tried to help. Where were the Pegasi Guards for this? Heck, look back at Sonic Rainboom: there were two guards there, and neither lifted a hoof to help Rarity.

I think because they're royal guards. Them helping to save people would be the equivalent of the secret service leaving their posts to stop a mugging when they're supposed to be safeguarding the presidents life. It's not their jobs to play hero, they're royal guards not Mare Do Well.

I really doubt ponies live for a century. There's a better than even chance that Spike won't even be an adult by dragon standards by the time Rarity reaches Granny Smith's age.

Unless she can find out the secret to Celestia and Luna's eternal youth. Heck, a thousand years on and Luna reverts to being a filly after getting freed from dark magic.

But wait, if the world is round, how does the whole "rising the Sun and Moon" work? Does the planet really need the sisters to keep spinning it? Or is it all just an elaborate ploy that began long ago by two absurdly powerful immortal magic-users so that they'd bring all ponies under their everlasting control?

They live in a world where pegasi make the clouds in a factory and create rainbows out of spicy rainbow coloured liquid. Don't think too hard about it, it's magic. You might as well ask where the excess mass came from and went with regards to Spike's size shifting in the latest episode.

Why was the winter episode before the autumn one?

Lauren Faust said she was more concerned with showing the target audience how the ponies deal with the seasons than keeping any kind of internal timeline.

Pinkie sense? That's weird. Never showed up before. Or again.

It did, see Mare Do Well.

Celestia is a troll.

Everypony keeps saying this, I still don't get it. Why? I mean without viewing everything through deeply cynical tinted glasses?

Do the occasional pangs of "Oh god, what the fuck am I watching?" ever go away? I thought they'd be gone by now, but it's very much not the case.

They went away with me around about episode three or four. But then I freely admit to being a child at heart, so I love this kind of stuff. I'd happily walk around in public wearing a MLP t-shirt now. I even have the end credits music as my ringtone.

[Bright]

Only problem is that it would make it hard for wild dragons to work together or co-exist with other creatures. Fighting ones natural greedy nature would be vital for peaceful co-existence with others. But then again, if a huge disaster strikes (like it has happened at least twice so far) then having a bunch of dragons panic into greedy hoarding mode (like humans do in a disaster) would likely result in a whole bunch of suddenly huge dragons running around collecting stuff.

It wouldn't just make co-existing with other creatures hard; it would also make sharing space with other dragons difficult to say the least. From what we've seen, they're not very social creatures, with each adult dragon having their own territory. But what implications does that have for breeding? If the competition for resources is this steep, I don't see boy-dragons and girl-dragons getting along long enough to procreate. That would seem to indicate that the hoarding is either cyclical as you suggested, or eventually gets less compulsive as dragons age.

Interestingly, the dragon in "Dragonshy" left behind his treasure when he flew off. That always bugged me a bit. How did he even get it all to the mountain in the first place, or did he collect it all before going to sleep there?

EDIT: Oh, and this episode is going to throw my fanfic completely out of whack. Irrecoverably so, unless I really mess with the canon.

Hmmm, yes, it might do a number on my own as well. My story does involve a very loose, very anarchic "dragon nation" with a ruling matriarch. That doesn't seem likely anymore.

[lordofchange13]

Pinkie sense? That's weird. Never showed up before. Or again.

I shows up again in the mare-do-well episode

Do the occasional pangs of "Oh god, what the fuck am I watching?" ever go away? I thought they'd be gone by now, but it's very much not the case.

I stopped feeling weird in the middle of "Griffon the brushoff"

[lordofchange13]

Do the occasional pangs of "Oh god, what the fuck am I watching?" ever go away? I thought they'd be gone by now, but it's very much not the case.

I stopped feeling weird in the middle of "Griffon the brushoff"

Your future!!

[Zixinus]

The globe in today's episode confirms that the planet is round, not flat. Hoorah!

Yeah, but it's a random prop. The fandom actually wanted to go crazy over it as they thought it meant at least an outline of a world map, but one of the developers told otherwise.


Revy

Although I'm really guessing.

I'm on the same assumption. Growth sprouts can happen, but not that fast and definitely not due to some mental signal that "you've got a horde!". Also consider that Spike grew naturally under Twilight's care: he got larger and more intelligent.
Here, Spike suddenly grew larger and larger but became less intelligent.

Aaaand the Wonderbolts fail to save the day. Again. If they keep that up Rainbow Dash might not even want to join them anymore.

I don't think she will, at least not in the long-term. My guess is that the writers set them up as things for Dash to admire, not as a goal for her.

That, and I think that if Dash really wanted to join, she'd already done so.

Twilight can teleport people other than herself without also teleporting herself at the same time. Didn't know that.

But only if it's funny to do so, not when it would be helpful.

I mean, she teleported herself a few metres in Applebuck season but not in several emergency situations (like in Feeling Pinkie Keen).

To be fair, I think it's more an excuse to give her something to do. She had very little screentime in Season 1 after we met her. Also, she offered no useful insight during the parasprite swarm, and despite knowing what they were did not know that music could be used to lure them. Pinkie knew.

True, it's just that I'm a bit peeved that Twilight brought Spike to two doctors already and they were useless. Bring her to strange zebra from far away, a zebra that has miracle-cures to diseases that ponies don't know (Cutie Pox), she knows instantly!

Heck, a thousand years on and Luna reverts to being a filly after getting freed from dark magic.

I'm actually guessing that the two princesses can modify their forms any time they want (hence why Luna lookedd very different in her own episode versus the first episode), like Luna did in Nightmare Night.


RougeIce

Where were the Pegasi Guards for this?

Maybe in the Palace, guarding the princess? That is what they seem to be meant to do.

Again, we saw a general alarm system, meaning that there is some sort of systematic response to various treats. One of them is a Dragon and the Wonderbolts have to do SOMETHING useful. Maybe they are famous because they ARE originally meant as a fast-responce unit to external threats, and their "races" and "air-shows" are mere practise and training for them?

*It's debatable whether that would work, though.

I think it depends on your assumptions on how they work. For one, do they work by themselves (amplifying the power of their corresponding element) or only in combination?

at worst, it would be a repeat of Luna and he'd be banished for 1000 years

Why? At worst, Spike would be banished to the Everfree Forest or some other isolated spot, away from ponies.
Again, Luna was a special case. Remember that it was specifically mentioned that Celestia tried to reason with Nightmare Moon and she refused. Spike may not be no where as powerful as Nightmare Moon, thus something as radical as sending him to the moon may not be necessary.


Rossum

I suppose in the wild, the ability to grow giant when being greedy would be a huge boon to an organism (especially in a world with manticores and hydras and the like). A lone baby dragon without parents would just have to survive long enough until it learns to get greedy before it starts hoarding things to fuel its greed and thus grows too big to be threatened by local predators. Fortunately, dragons hoard and eat gems so it would likely just be a case of a lone dragon digging in a gem rich area, getting greedy, growing huge, and then use its increased size to scare off enemies while digging and hoarding more gems.

That does make some sense. A magical ability to grow large and stockpile a large amount of food while being large enough to fight away pretty much anything may be a very useful ability.

Also, think about the reactions Spikes have:
-increased size: scares away potential predators and competitors
-heightened voice: ditto
-heightened aggressiveness: prevents looters

Similar to maturation (which is what might have confused Zecora), but not quite the same.

Since all it took to snap him back to baby size was a memory of being generous then its possible that wild dragons could go through occasional episodes of growing, hoarding, and snapping back once their greed is sated.

Perhaps the greed is related to food-hoarding? For a dragon, gems are valuable too, so "greed" here is merely an instinct to stockpile food.

Only problem is that it would make it hard for wild dragons to work together or co-exist with other creatures.

Not necessarily. Spike managed to live all his life without this problem occurring. It is possible that it might be a specific, strong stimuli (in this case, Spike getting lots of things or desiring lots of things under a very short spawn of time) that triggers the reaction.
Dragons would be aware of this naturally and would avoid triggering it with each other. Lovers might share their horde or manage to avoid triggering this stimuli altogether. Spike was able to snap out of it, so it could be possible that lovers or even other dragons know how to manage this reaction.


Narkis

Spike didn't grow wings during his growth spurt so it's likely that even at his increased size he was just a really big baby dragon

Why would he grow wings? Spike is a land dragon.

It makes you wonder how common it is for ponies to care for dragons and for said dragons to grow huge when greedy.

It depends on how the writers thought about the egg-thing as a test (was it an unique test for Twilight to mess with her? do they have a stock of dragon eggs?). We never saw any other baby dragons kept around.

I'd hate to be in Canterlot when some school-filly spoils her dragon with sweets which causes him to go on a supersized kleptomaniac spree in a city on the side of a cliff.

I don't think that would work. For one thing, Twilight has kept Spike around since she was a filly and this never happenned before. Spike needs to get a lot of material goods (probably non-food stuff, even from Spike's standpoint) to have the hoarding-maturation trigger to work.

The fact that Twilight has never heard of this happen before may indicate that this happening is pretty rarely a problem.


Narkis

Does the planet really need the sisters to keep spinning it? Or is it all just an elaborate ploy that began long ago by two absurdly powerful immortal magic-users so that they'd bring all ponies under their everlasting control?

I often wonder that myself. My best guess is that they're not "real" suns but magical suns, as the planet on they are on is somehow either permanently eclipsed or entered a very distant orbit of their sun.

Or they (and I guess this is more likely) in a more Discworld-esque world where reality and physics doesn't work as we think they do.

Why was the winter episode before the autumn one?

[insert pony shrugging image here]

Executives meddling with the schedule. Or the writers not giving a buck about always being right-on time seasonal.

And is cleaning up winter and autumn necessary, or just a pony tradition?

It may actually be necessary, as in Equastria at least, things work in ways that the ponies want them to work. Ponies make the weather (Dash mentions that it is not supposed to rain today in some episodes), it's logical they manage the seasons too.

How they get snow, I don't know.

A steam train pulled by ponies? Wtf?

It's just a joke. Don't worry about it.

Celestia is a troll.

Maybe in your headcannon, but not in official canon. She is a kind, gentle pony that cares about the ponies under her.

Yeah, there are some plotholes as to why she does some things and why she ignores some other things, but we never actually saw her being downright mean (the best example as of yet is a minor gag when they kept refilling her tea).

Do the occasional pangs of "Oh god, what the fuck am I watching?" ever go away?

I don't know, I never had any. I started watching when I heard how many adults liked the show too, I was curious and started watching.
I re-watched my childhood favourite too, Swat Kats, as an adult. Gargoyles recently as well.