Freeform Infocom Game

[Hawkwings]

Forget "Perma-name."

Forget "Rename."

Walk with rest of party along the path.

[Enigma]

Since the protagonist is all but useless, look for the nearest tavern to get drunk and find the nearest sheep to fuck.

[The Yosemite Bear]

remember I'm the one who discovered Permaname not protagonist...

[KrauserKrauser]

Attack narrator.

[Enigma]

After that attack Brian.

1) go to tavern and get drunk
2) fuck a sheep or a reasonable facsimile
3) if possible attack narrator
4) if still alive then attack Brian
5) if alive after that masturbate into the town well.

[Questor]

Congratulations, you have been renamed "Baron Kenneth von Lowe"!

Your attempt to attack the narrator fails.

Your attempt to attack Brian the Fisherbear fails, as you are so drunk that you cannot stand.

Your attempt to find the town wall fails.

You sleep it off on the ground where you fell. Baron Kenneth von Lowe (heretofor known as "The Baron") awakens, hungover.

>|

[Enigma]

Now attack the narrator then masturbate into the well

[KrauserKrauser]

Find nearest barn, set barn on fire, knock self out and forget all memories, wake up thinking that I might be eaten by a Grue.

[Hawkwings]

Attempt to get eaten by a Grue, or vice versa.

[Questor]

The Baron's attempts at recursion fail.

You must wait until nightfall to be eaten by a Grue.

You cannot find the narrator, but you are cited for performing obscene acts on a wall.

>|

[Erik von Nein]

Break the fourth wall, step out of the monitor and into a totally alien world.

[Questor]

You are unable to find the fourth wall, as you already shattered it getting here.

(Fourth Wall?!? HAB is summoning Valkyries for the campaign against Darkstar, and you want the fourth wall?)

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

Which kind of Valkyries

Attempt to hit on Hot Wolf riding Women in Norse style chainmail, failing that see if they are interested in Sir Mary's Daughter,

After all who wouldn't want a little hollywood/fantasy lesbian action going on in the story line?

[Questor]

What other kind of Valkyries would HAB want? The B-70!

Your attempts to seduce a large strategic bomber are unsuccessful.

I suppose you could say that aerial refueling is a kind of sex...

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

try to look for the norse chicks with riding wolves, and raven's on their shoulders.

[Questor]

You find no norse chicks in the village, but everyone seems to be afraid of the coming of the AYVB.

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

oh, wait to get Norse Valkyries all we need is an epic slaughter, destruction and disembowlment, war and destruction.

since the AYVBs are showing up that shouldn't be too hard to accoplish.

[Questor]

You hear tails of villages of men to the south, where no woman goes.

>|

[Enigma]

Head to where villages have tails.

[Questor]

The tales tell of villages where the men have tails, but only as long as they are members of the AYVB.

You head south.

To your left is a dark forest, and to your right, is a mountain with many caves.

>|

[KrauserKrauser]

Set the forest on fire. Dance the dance of pyromancy.

[Questor]

Game Saved: 101.sav

You start a huge forest fire.

Three men in uniforms come and arrest you for starting a forest fire.

You are arraigned for 15 counts of muder, 5 with special circumstances.

The judge asks, "How do you plead?"

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

Me, Whores, and Beth/Random/whatever plead not guilty as we are not the nutjob and try unsucessfully to keep him from doing this. We also plead not guilty for the nutjob on reasons of mental defect/insanity.

[Questor]

The Judge declares, "Charges against Brian the Fisherbear, WHORES, and Lady Beth are dropped, Baron Kenneth von Lowe is hereby ramanded for trial."

Later, before the trial, The Baron's lawyer asks, "Hey, scumbag, would you like to testify on your own behalf?"

>|

[KrauserKrauser]

Eat lawyer's face.