Dissecting "Portal"

[Major Diarrhia]

I don't really see the point in braking down a story you hate, in the process making people read it when your trying to convince them it isn't worth reading.

Even if you don't like Portal it was going to lead into a really cool sequel that he won't write.

My idea was that Troi and O'Brien would have become infected with midichlorians during their time in the Wars galaxy, and that this infection had been slowly spreading undetected through the Federation since their return. This would threaten catastrophe on two fronts; without guidance, the people who are becoming force sensitive in this galaxy are all turning to the dark side. Troi, being one of the first infected and already having PSI powers, is one of the most powerful of these folk. The spread of midichlorians will also make our people vulnerable to the Empire's own force users. The Empire's next venture through the portal will spell the doom for the Federation...

Along comes Voyager, and the EMH finds a way to use Seven's nanoprobes to wipe out midichlorians. Starfleet has come to believe that this midichlorian 'infection' is responsible for the evilness of the Empire, based on how our own recent converts are behaving. Janeway is ordered to take Voyager - essentially invulnerable now with its future technology - through to spread the nanoprobes in the wars galaxy, wiping out the force on both sides of the Portal once and for all.

Troi, in some sort of confrontation with Picard, manages to overcome the dark side. Picard realises that the force is not inherently evil, and is a normal part of life in the Wars galaxy, but Starfleet will not listen. Against orders he sets out to stop Janeway. She doesn't want to listen either, and there is a three sided battle - Picard trying to stop Janeway, Janeway trying to stop the force, and the Empire trying to stop both of them. This was originally planned to culminate at the battle around Endor in Return of the Jedi. The final defeat of the Empire by the Rebels - and of the Emperor by Luke - would convince Janeway that the force is indeed not evil, and at the end of the story peaceful relations would be established between the new Republic and the Federation. A nice happy ending in the classic "enemies become friends" Trek style.

Well I think it's a good premise at least.

The thing is, no one has ever written a 'good' Star Wars vs Star Trek story, becaus eit's perposterous to compare them militarily.

Not so, Paul Cassidy (I don't remember his handle) wrote perhaps the only good STvsSW story. At least I remember it being the only good one, it's been almost two years since I read it and since he updated it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/blueyard/STvSW.html

[Crown]

Well I think it's a good premise at least.

Every story has a good 'premise' it is the execution that is horribly wrong.

Not so, Paul Cassidy (I don't remember his handle) wrote perhaps the only good STvsSW story. At least I remember it being the only good one, it's been almost two years since I read it and since he updated it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/blueyard/STvSW.html

Ahh, it isn't the worst I have read, but it certainly isn't the best either.

[Rogue 9]

[Again this neutrino thing. I a least now know why he had created it. That way he could always let his Feds detect Imperial ships before they could leave hyperspace. But other than that, his creation defies any canon.]

Actually, there are ways in Star Wars to detect a ship about to emerge from hyperspace about a few seconds in advance. Croneau radiation or some such, referred to in the Black Fleet Crisis trilogy. Also, emerging from hyperspace obviously creates some sort of easily detectable effect, since Vader thought that emerging from hyperspace further away from the Hoth system would let the Death Squadron sneak up, as opposed to the Rebels detecting them at the same distance had they been traveling at sublight. It must have been the emergence from hyperspace that the Rebels detected and not the Star Destroyers themselves; otherwise it would have made no difference how close in they jumped.

But that's still no excuse for the gigantic pile of other bullshit. Carry on.

[Singular Quartet]

Well I think it's a good premise at least.

Every story has a good 'premise' it is the execution that is horribly wrong.

The truth. A good writer can take the worst premise, and make a good story. A bad writer can take an excellent premise, and make the worst story.

[

Not so, Paul Cassidy (I don't remember his handle) wrote perhaps the only good STvsSW story. At least I remember it being the only good one, it's been almost two years since I read it and since he updated it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/blueyard/STvSW.html

Ahh, it isn't the worst I have read, but it certainly isn't the best either.

I'll have to read it.

[PeZook]

There's a big question to ask about the throne room shtick:

Where were the Royal Guards?

[Rogue 9]

There's a big question to ask about the throne room shtick:

Where were the Royal Guards?

Jacking off in the antechamber? The story was written by a total idiot. What do you think he was going to do, make things difficult for the heroes? God forbid he put any sort of realism into the story at all, you know.

[PeZook]

There's a big question to ask about the throne room shtick:

Where were the Royal Guards?

Jacking off in the antechamber? The story was written by a total idiot. What do you think he was going to do, make things difficult for the heroes? God forbid he put any sort of realism into the story at all, you know.

No, not really. I was just surprised he didn't grab the opportunity to make a jab at the Empire. He avoided the question of ground combat entirely.

[Singular Quartet]

The thing is, no one has ever written a 'good' Star Wars vs Star Trek story, becaus eit's perposterous to compare them militarily.

Not so, Paul Cassidy (I don't remember his handle) wrote perhaps the only good STvsSW story. At least I remember it being the only good one, it's been almost two years since I read it and since he updated it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/blueyard/STvSW.html

Hmm... reading through it (as I said I would, at some point or another) and it's a little off tech-wise. Not by much, I assure you, it's just not considering some of the little things. Otherwise, it's fine so far.

EDIT: Such as: There are no other ships than ISDs, the windows are just regular old plexiglass (no tint! NO TINT!) and shooting off the bridge disables an ISD.

[Crazedwraith]

Hmm... reading through it (as I said I would, at some point or another) and it's a little off tech-wise. Not by much, I assure you, it's just not considering some of the little things. Otherwise, it's fine so far.

EDIT: Such as: There are no other ships than ISDs, the windows are just regular old plexiglass (no tint! NO TINT!) and shooting off the bridge disables an ISD.

?? Very first chapter of Clash of titans features a fleet of Neb-bs and dreadnoughts.

[consequences]

Equation I worked out for Clash of the Titans a while back.
Borg>Federation
8472>Borg
Galactic Empire=8472
Federation>=Galactic Empire?!?!?!

Replicators solving all the Rebellion's supply problems, lack of understanding of the non-DET nature of bio-bitches beams, lack of noticing that a fucking weak explosion tore bio-whore ships apart without even using nanoprobes, giving bio-cunts speed never witnessed in the show to allow them to stomp all over the Empire, giving them undetectable first strike on everything they felt like hitting, the list goes on and on.

[Rogue 9]

Equation I worked out for Clash of the Titans a while back.
Borg>Federation
8472>Borg
Galactic Empire=8472
Federation>=Galactic Empire?!?!?!

... How would that work?

Borg>Federation
8472>Borg
Galactic Empire=8472 (nowhere even close really, but we'll run with it)
8472>Borg>Federation
Empire=8472 (given)
Therefore, since Empire=8472, we can replace 8472 with the Empire in the equation, like so:
Empire>Borg>Federation.
Simplified to the relevant parts:
Empire>Federation

I have no idea where you got Federation>=Empire out of the information given.

[Kuja]

I have no idea where you got Federation>=Empire out of the information given.

Simple.

The Borg were beating the Federation
8472 was beating the Borg
The Federation beat 8472.
Assuming the Empire and 8472 are equals, the Federation would beat the Empire.

I have no idea where that Empire-8472 comes from, though.

[consequences]

From a single Defiant schooling a VSD in the fic.

So the Borg can obliterate any number of Fed ships with ease, 8472 can trash Borg effortlessly, Empire can hold its own against 8472, and a Federation ship can take out an Empire ship with more than one hundred times its volume? Pardon me if I say fuck no.

[Kazuaki Shimazaki]

Bingo! God was that a bad fic. You know a writer is bad when his naritive boils down to, "Yeah, that's right, two hundred gigatons! You heard me, Trekkies, so suck it!"

It's one thing to be a poor writer, it's another to be dishonest and biased, but it's an entirely different kettle of fish to actually make back handed comments durring a naration. Yes, Portal is possibly one of teh worst SW vs ST fanfics ever, but at least Kennedy tries to maintain the illusion of objectivity, even if he is annoyingly, starkly dishonest in other ways.

Yeah, I wrote that after I was drunk in the head from reading Portal and a few other almost-as-bad stuff in FanFix.com (I hadn't discovered quality FanFic yet). I wasn't really thinking about objectivity (I'm maintaining objectivity in using the latest TA analysis for the Imperial weapons data, but I definitely wasn't thinking much about being neutral in the way I present it), just snubbing those Trekkies in FanFix. I'm still feeling stupid for writing the durn thing, and I put on a self-deprecating smile every time I re-read Chuck's ripdown.

Mea culpa

[Iceberg]

I always thought SDR had good humor value as satire.