StarDestroyer.Net BBS

WHORES suggests, "Perhaps we should find a oracle who can give us more information?"

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To the Oracle!

Sir Getshitintheheadalot slinks bank into anonimity.

The Oracle is far to the north, in the lost kingdom of Ayesveeyes.

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Ask WHORES to fly us all there.

The even stronger WHORES flys The Baron, Lady Beth, and Brian to the edge of the northern barrier mountains. The Dwarf-Romans will follow at thier best speed.

The Mountains of Usenet tower over the peaceful plains of Sadeen, not even WHORES can fly over them. There is a river coming out of the mountains to the east.

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Find safe location along river on the way to the Oracle, wait for traveling army, gather loot when army arrives.

You follow the edge of the mountains to the edge of a large jungle.

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Search for the largest predator in the area, suck out its soul.

Before doing that, summon a huge fireball and ignite the jungle.

Reconsider, and instead summon a moderately-sized fireball to ignite the jungle. On the far side, so all the animals in the jungle conveniently come running towards us.

Smell the invisible alien that's actually the largest Predator in the area.

Before you use the sword to light the forest on fire, Brian growls, "Stop! There is something here that we cannot see."

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Torch the forest and burn the bastard. Brian can sniff out the bastard and WHORES can then eat it.

Not recalling the results the last time that he started a forest fire, The Baron starts a raging conflagration in the jungle.
Spoiler >|

ETA: OOC question, and correct reference as jungle, rather than forest.

As jungles tend to be damp places I assume the raging fire starts on a tree and then gets rained out because it rains alot in the jungle. You know what lese happens to invisible things in the rain? They become relatively visible due to the rain mysteriously forming their outline.

Use this fact to our advantage to absorb our resident predator alien soul.

Pickup new shiny weaponry along the way.

As the rain arrives without warning to smother the fire, you see a man sized creature, outlined by falling water.

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Hurl a huge elephant sized fireball at the invisible fiend.

Your sword does not throw fireballs, it works like a flamethrower.

You fire a line of flame at the fiend, igniting his armor.

As he doffs his armor, he becomes visible.

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Rinse and repeat.

You find that he is too wet to set aflame. You hear the dragon in your sword yell, "Use the blade you idiot!"

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Slice off Alien's head Highlander style.

Absorb Quickening.

You slice off his head before he can react,

You realize that the sword now makes you just slightly faster when drawn. It also makes you speak with all the speed of a teenage girl with a story to tell.

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Tell my story with the speed of a teenage girl.

After retelling the entire tale in a few minutes, you sheath you sword.

"Did you get all that?"

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No because it doesn't all fit in my pocket. Say it again but use smaller words so they'll fit in my pocket.