I mean it. Serious suckage. You have been warned.
Consider it a way to gauge how far I've come as a writer, from this in March 2000 to the Fed Civil War and other TGG fics as of the last three years (yikes, hard to believe I wrote "Anatomy" three years ago....).
MechWarrior: Scorched Earth
Standoff
by:
Steve Garrett Jr.
Author's Word (Steve)Welcome to the commentary for MWSE Ep 1. This was where it all started, in all of it's cheesy, sex-filled, violence-coated goodness/badness. I've used quotes for my primary blocks of commentary, but there's at least one occasion where I've used an asterisk and parenthesis for "mid-scene" commentary.
Enjoy!
I'm going to say this: this is a literary experiment for me. In an attempt to enforce realism, all bets are off. There is no censoring, modesty in "foreplay" is no longer present, and you will read every gory or sensual detail. If you don't like that, you can always avoid those parts, or not read at all. But if you appreciate this for what it is, a realistic portrayal of what such a war could be like, and the attitudes of people in it, then do read on. In fact, I'm asking you nicely to read on.
Author's Note: Thanks to Tom Wong and Matt Eustace for their input on Australian slang and talk. You guys have been real helpful. Tom also wrote the scene between Katrina and his avatar, with a far more "erotic" flare than I did.
Addendum 2004: Ah, four years can change a man. When I wrote this initially, it was the pinnacle of my ability. Today, it makes me cringe in embarrassment. But I'm leaving much of the story intact; I'm just going to make some... cosmetic alterations.
And so it begins, with the author's word. I left them here to see what this specific commentary line was commenting upon.
I had, at the time, been influenced by the first "NetForce" novel, and for someone used to Sherlock Holmes, Hardy Boys, and Star Trek novels, it was an interesting experience to go from, at most, the descriptions of breast shape to characters actually touching another character's breasts and with sexual aspects more in the open for the book.
So I decided to try my hand at it as well. I had already played with more extensive foreplay in what was the predecessor to MWSE, the first "Star Trek Timelines" (no relation to the newer one, which is much better), and in this the gloves came off, so to speak. Male characters touched and groped female characters' breasts, they licked and kissed and rubbed the ladies' nipples, they talked dirty with them, and though mostly off-screen, the characters quite frankly were fucking like rabbits. It's no wonder Marina calls me a "pornmeister" over this stuff....
As it got more serious - or rather as the entire thing went from an RPG-like little story I was doing for Spacebattlers to an honest story - the rampant sexuality of the characters began to be diluted by stronger plot. It never fully disappeared: as late as Episode 12, the final story of the war which weighed in at 119,000 words or so, there were still characters pairing off to do the "mattress mombo" in their spare time. But it became backed by better character scenes, at least, with interactions in which sex wasn't brought in as a topic.
And so, without further adieu, I bring you MechWarrior Scorched Earth Episode Number One, "Standoff". Just remember the nose plugs, everyone, cause damn this thing is a stinker!
"Through the trevail of ages, midst the pomp and toils of war have I fought, and strove, and perished, countless times upon this star. As if through a glass and darkly the age long strife I see, for I fought in many guises, many names, but always me."- General George S. Patton Jr.
Prologue
Captain Hojiro Kutari watched Dropships from the Draconis Combine DropShip Dragon's Flame begin moving toward Earth, carrying precious supplies for the new allies of the Star League and Clan Wolf against the Clans. For on this side of the Portal, it was not 3058 but 2016. The mad tyrant Armand Giuseppe had seized control of the United Nations six years before, and now held much of the world in his iron grip. Only China, the Oceanic Alliance led by Australia, and the Pan-American Confederation remained to fight Giuseppe. Now this war was his war, the war of his liege Kurita, the war of the reunited Star League, and the war that could decide the fate of the Star League against the Clans.
Nearby, a Clan Steel Viper destroyer turned and fled, having already sent down Dropships full of BattleMechs, MechWarriors, and supplies to aid the ally of the Crusader Clans, Giuseppe. Above South America, a Clan Wolf transport sent even more Dropships and Shuttles down loaded with equipment for the Americans.
Welcome to Scorched Earth, he muttered to himself.
Originally, the Combine ship was a full-fledged WarShip. When I began writing this, I had very little knowledge of the BattleTech universe and didn't know just how rare WarShips were.
In fact, early on the antagonist Clans were primarily determined by the Clans I knew of from the fluff that comes with MechWarrior 2, though shortly after I began writing MWSE I was introduced to Patrick's BattleTech Archives, which gave me enough background info on the universe that I was able to write more in tune with canon.
Now if they'd only had an agreed-upon ''Mech piloting system....
"Picking up contacts, due east, 1 klick," the voice of Lieutenant Rachel Galvaeriz said.
"I've got 'em," Captain Steve Penton replied, twisting his 75-ton Timber Wolf BattleMech to face the oncoming UN force. Galvaeriz turned her 65-ton Cauldron-Born BattleMech to follow. "Killjoy to Grim Reaper, you there?"
"Loud and clear, Steve," Lieutenant Thomas Banks answered from his 70-ton Summoner. "You read those contacts?"
"Looks like a troop convoy, probably on their way to Valdosta to engage the PAC armored spearhead heading up to Tifton. Reading at least one 'Mech, apparently 40 tons or less. A piece of cake." Penton's deep laugh filled the encrypted comm channel. "Too bad for them that they didn't know we had a 'Mech Lance in the area." The three 'Mech pilots were the first Floridian officers to be given Clan Wolf BattleMechs, and in fact were the only PAC Assault Lance along the entire front. The Cubans and Mexicans had about five Lances total, but nothing heavier than a 60-ton Mad Dog BattleMech. Thus the reason they were now referred to as "Alpha Lance": If anything heavy showed up, they were the only ones who could fight them off.
"Okay, move on out. Grim Reaper, take them from the north. WildCat and I'll take 'em straight on."
"Roger, Killjoy. Moving out now."
Penton hit the throttle, and his BattleMech's powerful engine began feeding mechanical energy into the gyros, causing his Timber Wolf to break out into a run. The Timber Wolf variant he piloted wasn't as fast as Clan Wolf normal, but then again, he had more armor and room for an Ultra Autocannon 10 for his trouble.
Within ten seconds, the targeting reticle on his neuro helmet turned red, a loud buzz sounding in his ears to let him know that his LRM20 system had a lock on the one BattleMech, a Clan Jade Falcon Jenner. "Eat missile, Clanner boy," Penton growled, firing a full salvo. *("Clanner boy?" Dear Christ, that sucked!) The missiles streaked through the air, slamming into the Jenner. The small 35-ton patrol 'Mech fell due to a gyro overload, and tried to get back up. Switching to his two ER Large Lasers, Penton sent two stabbing beams of ruby energy into the Jenner. He felt heat begin to build up slightly, but was delighted when a small explosion engulfed the Jenner. His lasers had penetrated the Jenner's left torso armor, and detonated it's missile stores. The explosion gutted the 'Mech, sending the Falcon MechWarrior down for good.
From their flank, Banks' Summoner suddenly pounced on the convoy, his green medium Pulse Lasers raking the ground and destroying some of the lighter 21st Century tech APCs. The heavier Clan Bulldog tanks turned to engage the 70-ton 'Mech, and were answered by fire from Banks' ER Large Laser and two Medium Lasers. "God damned fucking Clanner," Banks swore over the comm link. *(Yes, Tom has a sailor's mouth. He's mellowed a tad from age though.)
"Listen, Tom, don't use those Autocannon rounds. We're short enough on ammo as it is." His 'Mech having cooled, Penton sent another ruby beam into one of the three Bulldogs, slicing it in half. "And we've still got another day before we rendezvous with the MFB and Beta Lance."
"Yeah yeah yeah," Banks answered bitterly, using his ER Large Laser to destroy another Bulldog. "This is fun!"
Galvaeriz's Cauldron-Born now stomped up and fired it's Large Pulse Lasers, raking the troop convoy. Finally deciding they weren't going to get away, the UN troops began jumping out of their vehicles and running for cover. "Penton to 23rd Motorized Brigade, you have some boys to pick up. And consider those 'intermittent contacts' dealt with."
"Roger, Captain. 23rd out."
"Hey, Steve, not that I mind having fun and blowing up these stupid idiots, but when do we get to fight some real 'Mechs again? I haven't seen a decent Nova or Stormcrow for a week."
"You always love fighting the big ones, don't you Thomas," Galvaeriz moaned, her Hispanic accent adding a bit of flavor to her remark. "You were pissed when they didn't give you that Supernova."
"Hey, I'm the one who took out it's leg! They should have salvaged it for me, not send it off to fight on that damned Dakota front!"
"Ya, well, it happens to be the place where the UNers and Clanners are trying to break through our lines," Penton pointed out. "And if they get through, we're in deep shit."
"Hey, I thought that the Lyrans were supposed to send some forces to help us? Damned Inner Sphere assholes, can't trust 'em...."
"Um, Thomas, I will point out that they were the ones who gave the PAC and Oceania Alliance most of our BattleMech support equipment, and the entire Star League is sending some forces. Why should we abandon the Australians or Chinese to appease your thirst for bigger 'Mechs?"
"Ah, to hell with the fucking Chinese, if it weren't for them nuking Taipei Giuseppe would never have gotten power in the first damned place!"
"Rachel has a good point, Tom," Penton argued. "Enough of this banter. Move on to Op Point Haven. We have a patrol to finish."
"Dammit, Ross, get your ass over there and take down that Nova!" The voice of the APC convoy's leader was tense as they picked up another incoming UN BattleMech Star.
Captain Joshua Ross of the 23rd United States/Canadian Brigade, Charlie Lance, growled into his combat comm link, "Listen, I've got a fucking Summoner up my ass! Send IceFire over to get him!"
"No can do, Hellbringer, I've got a Stormcrow of my own to contend with," responded 1st Lieutenant Matthew Schuette.
"Let me handle it, boys," came a voice through the combat channel. "Stand aside for the Grumble man!!!" A 65-ton Catapult BattleMech, one of the few Inner Sphere BattleMechs in use by the PAC's 'Mech forces, pounded past Ross's Avatar and toward the 50-ton Nova. The battle insignia of Giuseppe's forces, a globe with two-crossed swords having replaced the old globe-and-olive branch of the UN, marked the Nova a UN 'Mech instead of a Clanner. "Eat this, scum!" A flight of LRMs left one of his missile launchers, slamming into the low profile 'Mech. Autocannon 5 fire began blazing away, the depleted uranium shells ripping away the Nova's armor.
I hate that guy. Especially his voice, Ross groaned mentally. Canadian 2nd Lieutenant Jim Allen was your typical hotshot type who thought he was God's greatest gift to the battlefield. Ross was jarred back to reality by the missiles of the Nova Cat Summoner in front of him. "Ok, Nova Kitty, here's something for ya!" Ross slammed his hand on the "Alpha Strike" trigger, firing all his weapons at once. Two ruby energy beams and three green ones joined a burst from his SRM6 battery and LB-10X Autocannon, all of the firepower slamming into the Summoner and smashing it's leg off. The Clan Nova Cat MechWarrior ejected just as the 'Mech fell to the ground, crippled.
Heat filled the cockpit, the warning meter displayed by his neuro helmet going all the way to the top. "Core meltdown imminent," his computer warned, the mechanical female voice ringing in his ear. Ross's hand hit another button on his cockpit control. "Shutdown sequence overriden." As his hand pressed the override button, Ross could hear the mechanical whirring made whenever heat buildup filled his 'Mech.
"Dammit, I can use some help here you American slugs!" Allen's Catapult fell over to a gyro overload as a Mad Dog BattleMech stepped up to defend the nearly-crippled Nova BattleMech.
"Now he needs help," Ross chuckled aloud, his heat level now down to the acceptable blue level. "Okay, Canuck, I'm on the way." His Avatar picked up speed, barreling down on the Nova Cat BattleMech facing him. His targeting reticle turned red as he entered range for his SRM6 battery. Six SRMs streaked through the air, slamming into the Mad Dog's left arm. The Nova Cat MechWarrior turned, and two ruby lasers cut into the Avatar's torso and arms. Ross saw his damage meter increase due to the hit, and snarled. "You want something, you motherfucking Clan fuckhead?! Have some of this!" Ross switched to his lasers and began firing away. Heat buildup began filling his 'Mech as he fired the two ER Large lasers in his arms, but he didn't let down despite the increasing amount of sweat on his own face.
The lasers had the determined effect. The ruby beams of Ross's large lasers sliced through the arm of the Mad Dog and blew off half of it's energy weapons. Left with only two Pulse Lasers, one large and one medium, and twin LRM20 batteries that weren't as effective in close range, the Nova Cat MechWarrior seemed to panic. He turned away from Ross to get some distance....
.....and ran right into Schuette's battle-scarred Mad Dog.
Four pulse beams, two red and two green, struck into the Nova Cat Mad Dog. They sliced through the armor of the BattleMech and penetrated to the ammo stores for one of it's LRM20s. Over a hundred LRMs exploded, shattering the right torso and heavily damaging the engine. Allen's AC5 ripped into the Mad Dog's torso, destroying the engine and putting the Nova Cat 'Mech to rest, permenantly.
"That UN Star is within two klicks, Ross," the convoy captain informed him. "And the good news is that they're all recon 'Mechs. Nothing heavier than a Strider."
"You two go on and have some fun," Schuette said with some disappointment in his voice. Ross noticed that his Mad Dog was limping away. "That damned Stormcrow nailed me in the leg with an Alpha."
"Ross to MFB, get on up here, coordinate MFB Foxtrot."
"Roger, Lance Leader, moving up now."
"Stay with the convoy, Icey. Me and Grumble here'll move on up and give those recon 'Mechs a good lashing. Move out, Canuck." Ross put his Avatar to 90% throttle, and moved to intercept the incoming enemy 'Mechs, Allen's Catapult behind him.
And so we are introduced to the core of what was soon to become the Sunhawks.
These scenes should pretty much establish that everything I was going by, at this time, was from MechWarrior 3, and stuff I screwed up from BTech canon. Coolant flushing, "mechanical whirring" sound effects when heat had built up and was being dissipated, etc. And, of course, switching between weapons, while canon BTech books have joysticks having buttons for each weapon system on a 'Mech. And then there are the further screwups. I didn't use italics for the 'Mech names, I didn't put apostrophes in front of the term "'Mech", and I had MechWarriors on the IS side using the Clan designation for machines (though that is at least justifiable due to Wolf-in-Exile involvement in training). I've fixed some of these errors out of habit while doing the commentary, silly me.
Of course, the scene also features, near the end, a brief peak at the past of this peculiar, highly unrealistic alt-21st Century world (though this was all written before 9-11, of course), telling us that China nuked Taipei and somehow that led to Giuseppe's rise to power. Of course, MWSE is pretty much a horribly implausible timeline for the 21st Century, even if it's not hard to imagine the rampant anti-Americanism shown by the UN.
Another development showcased was the early hints of the "Pan-American Confederation", the fictional alliance of the Western Hemisphere devoted to fighting the evil UN. These days especially, when we have Hugo Chavez ranting and raving in Caracas and other leftist parties and groups starting to come to power that are distinctly unfriendly to American interests, the very principle seems silly. It seems far more likely that Venezuela, Bolivia, and some other Latin American nations would've joined Giuseppe in invading the US. But, alas, this was written in March 2000, when Chavez was a failed coup d'etat leader who'd just been elected president less than two years prior, and who hadn't become nearly as public as he's been in the past two years as a figure encouraged the socializing of Latin America.
As for the characters, yes, Penton was once named completely after me, and even after renaming his surname to Penton (derived from "Patton", as I used Jerry Goldsmith's musical theme for Patton from the George C. Scott epic as the character's theme when doing musical stuff) I had also considered further renaming his first name to William to create a further difference to dilute his Marty Stuness. But I got lazy and never did.
Banks is another real person; now long absent on SB under the SN of "Divide_Overflow", the real Tom Banks is a friend of mine from waaaaay back in the 6th grade who got me into the MechWarrior games in the first place (as well as Warcraft 2, for those who wish to lament my recent entry into the World of Warcraft) and who was a participant in the IPARTY sessions that birthed MWSE in the first place. That was almost eight years ago (this commentary line is being done on November 5th '07, MWSE was first conceived in the first days of March 2000) and a lot has changed since then. The real Tom, for instance, is a hell of a lot more mellow than the one portrayed here, who is something of a caricature in that he only resembles the real article at his most... excited, I should say. And believe me, when Tom got excited and nutty, hilarity soon ensued. Had my various rewrites bore fruit, he would have flummoxed Clan warriors everywhere with pop culture quotes ranging from "Bahweep grannah weep ninnibon" to "Welcome to the 21st Century", usually with a John McClaneish "Mother fucker!" appended to it. Well, save for the time he'd have blurted out, "I'm Rick James, bitch!".....
And then, of course, there's Rachel Galvaeriz. Named Anita Galvaeriz in the original run of the storyline, she started as the usual sexy Hispanic love interest of the Marty Stu character, but later I filled her past in; an only child who's parents died when she was young, Rachel moved between her grandparents, with both Grandfathers being Hispanic but her grandmothers being Italian and Greek respectively, and teaching her to speak in those languages, making young Rachel a linguist by nature. At times I contemplated renaming her further because I don't think "Galvaeriz" is an authentic Spanish surname, but I never bothered.
The second group are also inserts, all of people involved in the infamous IPARTY convos that birthed MWSE, and none of whom are on SB any longer with the exception of IceFire's occasional appearances to tout his still unfinished "Death of Angels 6".
Josh Ross aka "Anakha" was the proto-Eagle One/Lord Dragonspyre of Spacebattles in 2000, and I only say that because Eagle One is the only SB persona that I can compare to Anakha - Anakha was a Marine partisan instead of an Air Force guy anyway. Josh was, in fact, primarily responsible for MWSE for it was his suggestion that the lot of us call a proposed online MechWarrior 3 playing unit "The Spacebattles First Freeman's Militia", a joke aimed at a recent thread on the then-new Nonscifi forum, proclaiming the UN's intent to conquer the world "and annihilate religion". The unit's name led to me trying to come up with a "background" and that led to, well, you're reading it.
Matt Schuette aka "IceFire" is the aforementioned animator who has been working on the same cgi spacebattle vid for the past, oh, almost eight years. He started DOA6 in January 2000 and I don't know how many times he's scrapped it. He was enthusiastic for his story role in MWSE and often asked me about what his character was up to and gave me direction on it. And he really was something of a romantic figure, but enough about that.
James Allen used to be named James Linge, aka "Grumble", infamous on Spacebattles in those days as a partisan for Warhammer 40K and Total Annihilation, including causing many flame-wars with Starcraft fans alongside his fellow TA partisans E1701 and QBASIC. He also had some fandom for BTech, but it soured as the MWSE run continued and he eventually lost all interest in it, prompting me to rename his character to Allen when doing the first rewrite attempt.
Initially they were to be their own group, as I was going to have one set of characters covering the Florida front and another the main continental front, but by Ep 4 I dropped that and just merged them all into what became the Sunhawks. The concept I picked back up for "Tides of Fire", the first failed rewrite that was becoming too humongous for the series' popularity, which would've had a Florida Group, Main Front group (At Winnipeg instead of the Dakotas that time), and the Australian and British groups, all much larger. There were at least sixty characters on Tides of Fire's character list, and that was really just the MechWarrior trainees and didn't count other characters featured!
You can see why I dropped the first rewrite, I'm sure.
Anyway, that was our first look at combat in the War for Scorched Earth. Small 'Mech unit action using MechWarrior 3-based combat with cookie-cutter characters and Marty Stus, with the obligatory Bombshell Chick. Not exactly the most auspicious start for what became one of the most popular fanfictions in pre-Kier and early-Kier Spacebattles history, much to my surprise.
Two days later......
Penton emerged from the shower facilities of Echo Base, having just washed four days of sweat off. No longer in his combat suit but instead in a casual grey T-shirt and black shorts, he made his way to the only place he had any interest in outside of the Mech Bay and his small room.
The pilot bar.
Granted, it was dominated by fighter and aerospace pilots, not MechWarriors. There were only a dozen or so MechWarriors within a hundred miles, after all. I get tired of these flyboys. They think that because they fly they're better. I'd like to see them beat me even with one of those Stone Rhinos!
"Hey, Steve."
Penton turned around to see Galvaeriz leaving the womens' shower area. She was wearing a military issue tank top undershirt that left her muscular arms and shoulders bare. Her golden brown skin, freshly dried with a towel, glistened in the light of the entry way into the main area of Echo Base. Her brown eyes shined with life while her black hair, cut just above her shoulders, seemed soft in appearance. "Rachel," he answered, grinning slightly. "Ready for some relaxation?"
"After spending four days cramped in a Mech cockpit, you're damned right I am." Her devilish grin seemed very seductive as she led Penton into the main center of Echo Base. Everywhere, uniformed personnel rushed about on their business. It was here, just outside of Tallahassee, that the PAC's local command with their Federated Suns and Clan Wolf liasions planned the war along a line running from just at the Mississippi/Louisiana border to just south of Savannah, Georgia. Echo Base stood as the main command center for the entire Southeastern US front. The flags of the PAC, USA, and various other PAC members flew from the top of the ceiling. They walked across the main center to the door outside. The humid summer air hit them, the outside temperature approaching 95 degrees Fahrenheit. By the time they had walked the 300 yards to the other side of Echo Base, sweat had already formed on their foreheads from the sweltering heat. The cool air conditioning of the building hit them as they entered Echo Base's facilities once again. This, the main rec area for the personnel of Echo Base, consisted of a gym, shower and bathroom area, rec room, and of course, "the bar" otherwise known as "PJ's Dive". This was where Penton and Galvaeriz soon entered. The bar's brown walls gave it a nostalgic feel, with a white polished bar and bottles behind it filled with various beverages, the vast majority of them containing alcohol. "Hey, amigo," Penton heard from one corner, "it is good to see you Americans still breathing!"
"Knock it off, Pedro," Galvaeriz retorted. "This, Steve, is Lieutenant Pedro Ninverez, of the Cuban Army."
"Ah, one of our Cuban allies. Let me get you a drink," Penton offered, trying to be diplomatic.
"No worry, amigo. I'm sure our amiga here will be nice enough to get us all a round of tequila."
"I'm sure I would, MechWarrior to MechWarrior." Galvaeriz forced a smile. Under her breath, where only Penton could hear it, she added, "Fat lazy pig."
As Galvaeriz got the bottle for them on her tab, Penton took a seat by Ninverez. "You're a 'Mech pilot?"
"I am in the Able Lance for the 2nd Caribbean Brigade. I pilot a Shadowcat BattleMech. I imagine that you are the lucky MechWarrior to pilot the only heavy 'Mechs on this front?"
"I pilot a Timber Wolf, if that's what you want to know."
"You are lucky, amigo."
Penton thought he could detect some hint of disapproval in Ninverez's voice. Maybe this guy is jealous because he's stuck in a medium weight BattleMech while I've got a heavy Mech.
A crash sounded through the bar, causing all heads to turn. A bottle of fine tequila was spilled on the floor between Galvaeriz and a thirty-something white whose shoulder patch on his suit showed him to be a USAF grunt, probably a soldier used for defending installations and such. "Watch what the hell you're doing, you Puerto Rican bitch!"
"What did you call me?" Galvaeriz snapped.
"I called you a Puerto Rican bitch, Spic girl!"
Galvaeriz's face reddened with anger. "You listen to me, you stupid...."
"If you have a problem with Rachel's ethnic background," Penton growled at the grunt, standing between them, "that's too damned bad."
"Oh, isn't that so politically correct of you. Coming to the rescue of your Latino bitch like a good little...."
"Y'know, I feel like breaking every bone in your body right now. I think I'll start by kicking your balls so hard that you'll never have kids," Penton threatened, only half-jokingly.
"It's too bad a boy like you can't get any white pussy, so you hafta go with Spic pus....."
His arm a blur, Penton's palm slammed into the USAF man's nose, breaking it. The man stumbled backward, blood coming from his nostril. "Next, I'll break your jaw," Penton warned the man.
"You won't have the chance, mother fucker!" The man took a swing at Penton, which was deftly blocked by Penton's lower arm. Penton's knee slammed into the man's groin, sending him down. "You fucking son of a bitch," the man gasped as he tried to stand.
Penton grabbed his opponent's sandy hair and slammed his head on the bar once. "You listen to me, you stupid bastard. I don't care if you're the Grand Poohbah of the KKK, nobody, and I mean nobody, offends one of my lancemates like that. If you don't want to spend a month eating from a straw, shut the hell up!" He threw the dazed grunt to the floor, and watched with satisfaction as the man slinked away.
"I could have taken him myself," Galvaeriz complained as attention in the bar was diverted back to individuals speaking with each other. "Are you going to be this overprotective on the battlefield?"
"I wasn't being overprotective. I don't like seeing racist bigots go after my friends," Penton explained. "Now, you wanted to have a drink?"
"I'm not in the mood for alcohol." Galvaeriz began walking out of the bar, with Penton following her. "I want to spend some time alone, without hormone-crazed jocks taking clumsy passes or making dirty jokes about me."
"Then we can go have something to eat in the cafeteria, if you want."
"I don't want to be with anyone right now, Steve. I want to eat alone, in my small, cramped quarters. You go back and enjoy your camaraderie with the others."
"Camaraderie? I would rather kill most of them, and the others I don't care about."
"I thought you and Thomas were old friends?"
"We've known each other for quite a while, but the guy's a pain in the ass sometimes. Besides, he's logging time in the Mech simulator, and I don't feel like climbing into one of those small simulator cockpits when I just spent the better part of a week in one."
"Then go have fun. Play basketball, watch old movies, just go enjoy yourself. Just because I'm the only woman MechWarrior here doesn't mean you have to dote on me."
"Rachel, I was just...."
"Go, now. Scat." Galvaeriz walked into her quarters, and locked Penton out. After a few moments, he threw his hands up in frustration and walked away.
The punching bag never stood a chance.
With one full swing from his right fist, Penton sent the thing flying across the boxing room after giving it an intense pummeling. Heads turned as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. Almost amused by the scene he had created, Penton asked, "What's wrong? Never seen someone take out his frustrations on a punching bag before?" A laugh came from behind him. Penton turned to face the Cuban MechWarrior he had met in PJ's. "Ah, it's you, Lieutenant....."
"Pedro Ninverez, Captain Penton." Ninverez chuckled softly. "You seem worked up for such frustrations. Tell me, does this have anything to do with the very clever and oh so beautiful Lieutenent Galvaeriz?"
"Rachel is my Lancemate. We look out for each other on the battlefield, and we look out for each other in life too."
"True. But I think there's something deeper here, amigo. Something you're not letting out. I think..."
"Who cares what you think?"
"....I think," Ninverez continued, ignoring Penton's sarcastic interruption, "that deep in the heart of ice that beats in your chest is a desire to do with Rachel Galvaeriz what all men do with women they desire."
Penton frowned. "I hate it when people use these nice, watered-down flowery terms. I understand what you're saying, Ninverez. 'You want to have sex with her', is the gist of it."
"I would say that you have found my meaning, amigo."
"Let me tell you something, you smartass," Penton growled, sticking a finger in Ninverez's face. "1st Lieutenant Rachel Galvaeriz is one of the bravest people I've ever met. I trust her with my life every time I get into my Mech's cockpit, and she does the same for me. That is our bond, not some hormone-driven desire for sex!"
"Of course, Captain," Ninverez agreed without a fight, stepping back and raising his palms in a gesture of surrender. "I have a patrol soon, so I will be leaving you now." Ninverez left quietly.
Penton clinched his fist and drove it into another punching bag with anger at his own stupidity.
Enter another badly-named character, as I was then desperately trying to think up Hispanic-sounding names that weren't too common and I'd not yet found Kate Monk's Onomastikon directory online. Pedro comes off as a challenge to Penton when it comes to the fair Rachel Galvaeriz, but of course such a dramatic possibility will be spoiled. No original character will snag the sexy babe from my Marty Stu god dammit!
And also, enter stage right, is one of the developments I sometimes regret. The Ku Klux Klan is back, ladies and gentlemen! No longer the mere annoyance and meager presence of today's KKK, they have returned with a vengeance, becoming perpetual annoyances throughout the storyline straight to the end, complete with hints of political chicanery by the hoodheads. They will continue to plague our skin color-blind heroes and heroines throughout the story run and into the fluff, where I had an entire unit of the Terran Alliance Armed Forces dominated by them and thus rife with racial tension, and indeed some later plots would've had them becoming an internal danger in the far future.
Aside from that, we've seen the following: At least two characters, one of them a throwaway with little hope for it, want to get into Rachel Galvaeriz's bed. The other one is suffering from horribly overblown angst about the fact that he very desperately wants to fuck a beautiful, intelligent comrade who, as we will soon learn, has the hots for him as well, but is shy about it because she wants commitment. Gee, the woman wanting commitment in her relationship, just how often has that old canard been done in fiction to create emotional tension? Dear God how did I ever think this way?
Anyway, enough on following Marty Stu's angst-driven quest to climb into bed with his enormously attractive love interest. Let's go to perhaps the most fun set of characters in this entire early storyline. Off to Oz we go, mate!
"Picking up a couple of medium weight 'Mechs coming in, due east, Firestorm. 'Mechs appear to be hostile. Move to intercept with Baker Lance."
"Roger that, Ground Command," Captain Matthew Eustace of the 2nd Royal Australian BattleMech Brigade said from the cockpit of his 80-ton Warhammer BattleMech. The massive Assault Mech began moving toward the enemy target. "Omega, Phil, and Apophis, stay back and watch the HQ. Viper, you're with me."
"Roger that, Lance Leader," 2nd Lieutenant Tracey Hendrickson replied from her 60-ton Mad Dog BattleMech. She began following him, ready should Eustace call down her two LRM20 batteries to rain fire upon a target.
Eustace's neuro helmet began feeding him data from the Warhammer's radar and thermal detection system. Two enemy contacts entered the 1 kilometer range of his radar, one a Nova and the other a salvaged Inner Sphere Bushwhacker. The twin Light Gauss Rifles on his arms moved into position as his zoomed targeting reticle turned yellow, indicating he could hit the enemy. "Here's a fight for ya wankers," Eustace snickered, firing the two Lt. Gauss Rifles. Their magnetically propelled ammunition flew forward and pounded the Bushwhacker. 'The Mech leered for a moment, but stayed on course and returned fire with it's LRM5 batteries. Ten LRMs streaked toward Eustace's Warhammer. The three AMS weapons placed on his torso and head began firing, killing all but two of the missiles, which did little more than dent the armor on his left torso.
"I have a lock on the Nova. Permission to fire, Lance Leader," Hendrickson requested.
"Fire!"
Hendrickson complied, and 40 LRMs rushed through the air to hammer the low profile Nova 'Mech. Hendrickson's aim proved superb, as almost every missile pentrated the center torso and took out the engine. More importantly, one of the LRMs penetrated to the microfusion reactor of the BattleMech, causing it to meltdown. A shockwave appeared as the 'Mech blew in two. The Bushwhacker was caught in the explosion, and Eustace verified through his neuro helmet's display that the Bushwhacker's armor had lost some of it's integrity. He switched to the four ER Large Lasers on his torso and fired a group blast. Heat filled his Mech, causing him to begin sweating, as the four ruby beams cut into the Bushwhacker. Its right arm, housing a deadly UAC10, was blown clear off, and damage was done to its right torso. Eustace's heat sinks were stretched to their limit as they worked to drain the heat from the Warhammer BattleMech. Another flight of LRM5 projectiles slammed into him, his AMS reduced in efficiency by the heat. As his 'Mech rocked from the hit, he could hear his computer say, "Core meltdown imminent. Shutting down." His heat too high, Eustace refused to override, and his 'Mech shut its systems down to allow the heat to lower. His Warhammer was helpless to the Bushwhacker.
But it didn't matter. Even though she had sacrificed her medium pulse lasers for more LRM20 ammo, Hendrickson's Mad Dog still had two large pulse lasers. The two light red beams struck out and hit the Bushwhacker's vulnerable right torso. With expert aim, Hendrickson kept her pulse lasers focused on the damaged armor of the Bushwhacker, and an explosion ripped its torso apart as its remaining stocks of UAC10 exploded. The crippled Bushwhacker collapsed, the Steel Viper MechWarrior inside ejecting just in time.
"Firestorm to base, we've dealt with them! Heading on back...."
"Sweet Mother of God!!! We've got a Star of Steel Viper 'Mechs on approach from the west!"
"Bloody hell!" Eustace increased his throttle to full, bringing his Warhammer back into the fight. He passed by Ground Command, shouting an order into his combat comm system. "Apophis, take that Summoner. Omega, the Rifleman is your's. Phil, engage the Hellbringer. I've got the Warhawk!"
Hendrickson followed him, locking her LRM20s onto an enemy 'Mech. "I've got a lock on the Mad Dog. Permission to fire?"
"Shoot the damned bugger!"
Hendrickson let lose another double salvo of her LRM20s, sending all fourty deadly missiles right at the Mad Dog. The Steel Viper 'Mech proved fully unable to withstand the entire barrage under Hendrickson's expert aim, its ammo stores exploding and rendering the 'Mech useless. Eustace noticed that the MechWarrior inside the Mad Dog hadn't bailed, thereby indicating he had been caught in the explosion and killed. Eustace brought his Light Gauss Rifles to bear on the Warhawk, and activated his wide-band transmitter. "This is Captain Matthew Eustace of the 2nd Royal Australian BattleMech Brigade to Clan Steel Viper MechWarrior. I offer you the change to honorably withdraw."
"This is Star Captain Patrick Mercer of Clan Steel Viper. Are you prepared to die today, freebirth?"
"You first, you bloody Clanner." Eustace fired his Guass Rifles, hitting the Warhawk in the torso.
"All Points, leave the freebirth in the Warhammer alone. He is mine." Four PPC discharges slammed into Eustace's Warhammer, causing a gyro overload and a massive heat spike. Eustace raced to get his 'Mech back on his feet, but the Warhawk kept approaching, reading for another PPC strike....
Suddenly Lt. Thomas Wong's Summoner 'Mech leaped over Eustace's Warhammer with it's jump jets, and fired an Alpha Strike. The burst of fire from the Summoner's UAC10 only clipped the Warhawk's right leg, but the two large and two medium ER lasers slicing into the arm, damaging the arm actuator and causing the arm to fall limp at the Warhawk's side.
A flash of LRM20 fire signaled that Tracey Hendrickson was again in action. This time, the Viper Summoner lost an arm to fourty more LRMs. Its left torso was also damaged by the barrage. "Hey, I'm going to run out of ammo here boys," Hendrickson warned.
"We’ll be done in a sec Trace, sit tight and watch me do my stuff," 2nd Lt. Chris Manning growled, pounding the Clan Rifleman with pulse laser fire. He pointed to the Rifleman's leg, and let lose an Alpha Strike that sliced it in half and forced Manning's Hellbringer 'Mech to shutdown. He was helpless to a Steel Viper MechWarrior piloting another variant of his 'Mech, but Phil Wright intervened with his lasers and forced the MechWarrior to confront his larger, heavier opponent.
Eustace decided to ignore the Warhawk for the moment, due primarily to the fact that its firepower had been effectively halved. He turned his Warhammer to the Summoner fighting Wong, and let lose a barrage from his large lasers. The concentrated firepower damaged the Summoner's knee, and Wong's own Summoner opened up with his UAC10. The heavy depleted uranium rounds pounded through the weakened knee of the Summoner, and took its leg out from under it.
The enemy Star had been reduced to two remaining 'Mechs: Star Captain Mercer's Warhawk and the Hellbringer that was now facing a mutual assault from Wong, Wright, Manning, and Hendrickson, who had closed in to use her pulse lasers. Eustace turned to the Warhawk, which hit him with another PPC blast, although only two this time. Heat again flooded his cockpit, and the damage to his left torso began interfering with his neuro helmet readouts, causing fuzz on the various screens as well as causing his radar to began having a "shaking" effect that made it impossible to tell locations without direct site. Cursing to himself, Eustace switched to his Light Gauss rifles and aimed carefully at the cockpit of the Warhawk. "See you in hell, Clanner," he mumbled, firing the Gauss rifles. Their rounds pounded right into the cockpit of the Warhawk, mutilating Star Captain Mercer. He was dead before his disabled BattleMech hit the ground.
Nearby, the last Hellbringer feel from the onslaught of being outnumbered 4 to 1. "Firestorm to Ground Command, Clan Star dispatched," Eustace reported with pride.
"Another victory for the Untouchables," Wright added.
"That felt good. So now do we get to go home? I'm in the mood for a shower," Hendrickson sighed.
"Mind if I join you Trace?", Wong added with a sly smile.
"Wait a bloody minute....."
"This is Baker Lance to Ground Command, our shift is over. Alpha Lance should be en route with MFBs to salvage any equipment we find. We're heading home."
"Roger that, Baker Lance."
"Okay guys and gals, beers for everyone, my shout." Eustace put his throttle to full, and led Baker Lance in the direction to McClaney Base outside of Port Darwin.
And thus enter the Aussies! As usual, only the girl, Tracey, is an "original" character, and she was mostly a creation of Matt.
Who is Matt you say? Captain Matt Eustace is, of course, another Marty Stu, of SB's very own H.B.M.C. (who, ironically, is the only Aussie from this group still posting on SB with any regularity). Matt rewrote a bit of this scene, as my author's word indicated, to reflect Aussie slang better, and he would later go on to write his own MWSE stories, including critical adjuncts to Episode 9 and a story branching the gap of Eps 9 and 10, with an unfinished one that would have occurred during the events of the final episode. He was also a source of many headaches for me in one of the early warnings I should have heeded of the requirements for having more than one person writing in a universe. But altogether a swell enough guy and an imaginitive writer. If only he came on ICQ more often. :p
The other guys in the unit were all, at one time, prolific or semi-prolific SB posters. Chris Manning and Tom Wong posted on SB as Chris and CMG respectively, with CMG later changing SN to CyberianKnight. They were both schoolmates of Matt and actively participated in the creative process of MWSE at times. Generally cool guys, though Tom later went on to annoy and anger many in later escapades, I do kind of miss having them around.....
Phil Wright used to go by Entil'zha on SB (not to be confused by Isil'Zha) and was a talented writer as well. He was mostly known, back in 2000, as having "novelized" some of Johan's spacebattles videos, particularly the Alpha Quadrant ones (I think he was also going to novelize "Galactica" at one point). I don't remember if he had much interest in Battletech at all, and thus MWSE, it's been so long.
Tracey never got the chance, due to various reasons, to grow out of the fact that she was the token hot female of the Aussie unit and was little more than the Aussie version of Galvaeriz. Just that Galvaeriz had the benefit of being Marty Stu's crush, a benefit poor Tracey never got to enjoy. I recall her having some character moments, but then, well, let's wait until that comes, yes?
And another battle scene comes by us, a completely anti-climactic affair and the first of many 'Mech battles that would seem formulaic and unexciting seven years after its writing. Years after I wrote this, Marina complained about an even wordier series of 'Mech battles in the second "Ultimate Edition" episode of MWSE because she said she got no sense of the tactics being employed, just a long ream of text describing who was shooting what and what visual and physical effect it had. And, unfortunately, it was a just accusation. One of my biggest problems in writing BattleMech fights is too much attention on the mechanics of the weapons, trying to track how much damage is done and to where, and not on what truly moves a fight; the positioning and maneuvers of the combatants and their particular situations.
On top of that, this battle suffered also from the fact that MW3 was, at this time, still my primary source. I had no problem using a plethora of custom loadouts and giving the Vipers newer Inner Sphere machines like the Bushwhacker interspersed with frontline OmniMechs because, of course, the Jaguar forces in MW3 also used these 'Mechs and I still had only a vague idea of who was supposed to have what (it would be almost a year before I laid hands on my first field manual sourcebook at this point). There was the whole business of the damage causing Matt's displays to "fuzz", as is done in MW3, and the fact that MW3 showed inaccurate weapons fire when compared to the rest of BTech; missile batteries were always "all or nothing" affairs where either all twenty missiles of an LRM20 hit or none did, as opposed to canon (and even other games) where the missiles fired consecutively and not simultaneously as in MW3, thus allowing for only parts of a barrage to hit (10 out of 15 or 4 out of 10, etc.); pulse lasers were not streams of needle-like laser pulses to dig into ablative armor for improved damage, but simply longer-lasting spears of light that had to be kept over a target while normal lasers fired all at once. MW3 calls a "gyro overload" what normal game mechanics simply considers falling from a failed piloting skill roll after taking 20 damage in a turn.
And so the Aussies are introduced. But now it's time to return to Mr. Marty Stu and his unbridled lust for Ms. Galvaeriz. Let's at least pretend to be enthusiastic, yes?
Penton stumbled out of bed grumbling as his receiver began beeping. "Dammit, why me?" He sat down at the monitor, and pressed the button to activate the monitor. Colonel James Tozawa was a Japanese-American third generation immigrant whose grand parents had moved to America after WWII. He commanded the 3rd PAC Regiment, which included the Battalion that Penton's Lance had been attached to. Giving the customary salute, Penton said, "Captain Stephen Penton reporting, Colonel."
"At ease, Captain," Tozawa replied. Penton's hand lowered as Tozawa got to the point. "Intel has learned that a high ranking Smoke Jaguar officer, Star Colonel Ratache Osis, will be personally inspecting the front line forces near our impending thrust toward Tifton. We believe he will attempt a deep penetrating raid against Delta Base near Dalton with the assistance of Jade Falcon and UN forces. Today we will be hosting an officer of the Eridani Light Horse to prepare for Operation: Salazar. I want you present at the briefing. Be in Conference Room 3 at 1300 hours. And bring Lieutenants Banks and Galvaeriz."
"Will do, Colonel. Penton out." He turned off the monitor, and moaned. He had been hoping to spend at least three days before returning for another round at the front. But this was big. Ratache Osis's death in battle could serve to demoralize Clan Smoke Jaguar in time for Operation: Salazar's push to liberate Savannah, Macon, and Montgomery. By robbing the Clans of a crucial local leader, it would disrupt the local command and make it easier for the drive to work. Penton activated the message system and sent a message to Banks to be present, but opted against sending a message to Galvaeriz. She deserves a personal visit to know her break isn't going to happen. Putting on his shorts, but not bothering to put a T-shirt on, Penton left his quarters and walked down a pair of corridors to Galvaeriz's door. He started knocking. "Rachel, are you in there?"
"Steve?" Galvaeriz's voice was somewhat groggy. "One minute." Footsteps approached, and the door was unlocked. The door swung open. "What is it?"
Penton found trouble keeping his eyes from staying from her face. She was dressed only in a flattering black bra that revealed most of her breasts, in conjunction with thigh-long black shorts. "Oh, um," Penton blushed slightly, "I wanted to tell you that we have a briefing at 1300 hours today in Conference Room 3."
"Steve, come in instead of standing out in the hallway," Galvaeriz told him.
"If you want." Penton entered her quarters, spartan as they were. She had a normal double-sized bed with plain green sheets, her nightstand only having a picture of her deceased parents and a lamp for reading a book now sitting on that nightstand. Her TV was on the other side of the room, with a table in the middle and a bathroom on the other side. There was a small couch on the wall along the door to the bathroom, and it was there that Galvaeriz sat down, indicating for Penton to sit by her. Somewhat reluctant, Penton did. The soft fabric felt ticklish on his bare back as he leaned backward, a pulled muscle on his right side tingling in protest. "Well, you wanted me to sit here. Now what?"
"Steve, I think there's something going on between you and me. More than just friendship and comradeship, but something.... else."
"And what would that be, Rachel? Are you trying to tell me something?"
Galvaeriz put a hand on his shoulder, the simple touch proving sufficient to send a wave of excitement through him. "Steve, you seem so cold sometimes. I would be a fool to think that you didn't harbor some attraction for me."
Penton laughed. "Rachel, I don't know if you're being modest or if you're actually ignorant to the fact that you are very sexy. The way your body is shaped, the way you walk, the way you talk...." He laughed again, albeit a little nervously. "Of course I am attracted to you. There are times of weakness that I would love to, well, make love to you. But I have an obligation as your superior not to breach your trust. That is far more important for me."
"You think I'm sexy?"
"Very sexy."
"Even for a Puerto Rican Spic?"
Penton frowned. "You're not even Puerto Rican, Rachel. Your parents were born in America, you were born in America, you're an American. And that's all that matters."
"And this coming from a white male who can't get any white women so he goes after...."
"Are you joking around, or are you actually effected by that bigot's talking?"
"What do you think?" Rachel got on his lap, and before he could re-act, she kissed him on the lips.
Excited by her kiss, Penton returned it with similar vigor, his heart racing. They stopped, Penton believing the temporary concession to mutual passion over. This belief was washed away as Galvaeriz removed her bra, her exquistely formed breasts now fully exposed to Penton's vision. Their lips came back together as Galvaeriz pushed herself against him, smiling. Penton put his arms around her, pulling down her shorts and placing his hands on her buttocks. Galvaeriz moaned loudly with pleasure as Penton pulled her closer, his lips having moved on to her neck and moving downward.....
Her screen activated, Banks appearing on the screen. The two stopped suddenly, at first not realizing that it was a message and not a live feed. "Hey, Rachel, though you might like to know we got a meeting at 1300 hours today at Conference Room 3. See you there!" His image disappeared.
The two would-be lovers breathed sighs of relief, and returned to the business at hand. Galvaeriz dragged him over to her bed, letting him get on top of her as they continued to kiss. His hands grabbed her breasts as he began to....
Knock.
A very loud growl escaped from Penton's throat as he raised himself off of her. Galvaeriz shouted, "Who is it?!" as she jumped off the bed, pulled her shorts up, and searched for her bra to put back on.
"It is me, Rachel. Pedro."
"Bad timing, you lazy Cuban pig," Galvaeriz snarled under her breath as she slipped the bra back on. Out loud, she answered, "What is it, Pedro?"
"I wanted to talk with you, Rachel," came the answer.
Penton stood behind her. "You want me to leave?"
"Let me see what he wants, first," Galvaeriz asked of him. Unfortunately, the two had run out of time to make their tryst worthwhile. They would be due for the morning sitrep within an hour, and still had to shower and get dressed. "Okay Pedro, come in."
Ninverez entered, wearing his casual uniform and showing himself to be an early riser indeed. Noticing Penton's presence, a devlish smile crossed his face as he asked, "Hello, amigo. Was I interrupting something?"
"No, I was just here telling Rachel that we had to be in Conference Room 3 at 1300." Penton's frustrated expression revealed the transparency of his lie.
"I imagine. Rachel, I though you'd like to know that the 'Mech technicians have reloaded your BattleMech with the newer UAC5-X ammunition for your UAC5s. I suggest you speak with them if you wish further information. And now, amigo and amiga, I take my leave of you." Ninverez casually left her quarters.
Galvaeriz ran her hand through her black hair. "Sometimes I wish I could blow that smug expression of his away."
"What happened between you two anyway?"
"Not much. He annoyed the hell out of me back in 'Mech training. I guess he found it amusing, just like he did walking in on us."
"Rachel, I...." Penton put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry for what happened here. I don't know what go over me."
"No, that's okay. It was my fault, and my fault totally." Galvaeriz put a hand on his cheek, smiling. "Although we didn't get to finish, I loved every moment of it. You are a very strong lover."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Penton answered, going for the door. "I have to go shower and get ready for the morning sitrep. I'll see you there?"
"And at the briefing at 1300 hours," Galvaeriz finished for him. "I will be there."
"Good. Oh, and," Penton turned back from the door as he went to exit it, "I'd like to be the first to say that you have a very nice pair of tits." *(Jeebus why did I think that was a "cool" macho thing for the character to say? *pounds head on desk*) The grin on his face and twinkle in his eye betrayed the comical nature of his compliment.
"Why, thank you so much for that, Steve," Galvaeriz answered as the door closed. Soon after the door closed, she began giggling at what he said.
Boobies Boobies Boobies Boobies Boobies..... er.... where am I again?
Oh yeah, commentary.
For the record, I always imagined Galvaeriz as having nothing more than Bs bordering on Cs. I prefer proportion, after all. But yes, when one's describing her chest assets as "exquisitely formed" it does kind of get out of hand. But she's the Marty Stu's love interest and she gets dubious perks like having her breasts complimented in prose (and then by Mr. Marty Stu in such a terrible, unromantic, idiotic fashion. Gaaaaarh.)
And maybe time had dulled the memory and Galvaeriz turned out to not be as hot on needing commitment as I thought. That or I'm confusing her with her rewrite counterpart or something. But yes, she jumps him in her hot bra and shorts and is clearly hot for him until, of course, the soon-to-be-forgotten romantic rival pulls off a completely cliched cockblock.
Alas, poor Pedro, we never knew him well. Within four episodes he will be gone, not to be seen again until a chance mention in.... Ep 12 I think it was. By then Marty Stu and sexy Rachel will be having hot sex at least, what, three times per episode? Four? I'm sure I lost count seven years ago. Plus he won't get to contribute his genes to the Ghost Bears, but that's another entirely munchy story for Mr. and Mrs. Marty Stu.
Oh, look! More Aussies! Aussies are always cool!
Eustace flipped through the TV channels, sitting in the rec room of McClaney Base with the other members of Baker Lance. "There's nothin' good on telly, Tom."
"Yeah, well," Wong grabbed the TV controls from him, "I heard they're gonna be showing Star Wars Episode 3 tonight. It'll be fun to see Leo DiCrapio take a dive into that lava again."
"I still can't believe that moron George Lucas let DiCrapio be Anakin, bugger."
"Too right!"
Manning and Wright emerged from the restroom, both wearing white T-shirts and brown shorts. "So, did we kick some arse today or what?"
"Another victory for the Untouchables, right boys?" Hendrickson's voice came from the shower. The door opened, and she emerged. All eyes turned to her, all four pairs widening at least a little bit. "What? What are you looking at?"
"Um, Tracey......"
Hendrickson looked down at her chest, as if having to remember she was topless. "Oh, that," Tracey laughed. "What's wrong? You guys walk around without shirts all the time, so why can't I?"
Without a pause, the foursome quickly began agreeing. Vindicated, Hendrickson walked to the kitchen of the rec room. Manning whispered into Eustace's ear, "She's got nice tits, don't she?"
Eustace simply nodded in agreement.
This was written not even a year after Phantom Menace came out, and the casting of Hayden Christiansen as Anakin Skywalker was still at least a year away IIRC. As a result, it wasn't too much of a leap to assume that Lucas might land DiCaprio. Who I actually like as an actor, as time and cooler roles have purged him of the Titanic taint.
Poor, poor Tracey. She deserved so much better than she got. But that's what happens when your love interests don't include the author's Marty Stu. As it is, this scene is good for confirming that so far both of the female characters are bordering on shameless exploitation of their sex appeal and that the male characters are for the most part acting like teenagers. Curse you teenage hormones! Curse you I say!
And now back to the Marty Stu. Yes, I know, the Aussies are more entertaining. Don't worry, they'll be back.
