The hospital tale

CmdrSweevo · Post by **CmdrSweevo** » 2003-02-10 03:29pm

John Healey says:
Oh, how was the appointment?
Barney says:
pointless, they have no idea really whats wrong with me
Barney says:
did a shitload of tests
Barney says:
made me run...bastards..
John Healey says:
LOL
Barney says:
OOOH, a newbie nurse came in all shy and she asked me when was the last time I masturbated, but I had to get her to say it three times before I understood and her face was bright red!
John Healey says:
LMAO!
Barney says:
classic stuff
John Healey says:
What you mean is, you were torturuing the poor girl

John Healey says:
What did you say?
John Healey says:
:: this is from James, BTW ::
Barney says:
I said last week, she goes fill this : produces a MASSIVE cup :, so asked if there was a time limit and she scowled! Then she didnt approve of the mag I took....lol, I was laughing she was bright red and scowling

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-11 08:45am

Hello Hello Hello, tis I- The Great Unbearded One (also known as Barney in this thread). I'm new to the board so i thought I'd say hi and you guys on here are comical genius'!

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-02-11 08:48am

Greetings. Have fun on SD.net. Read the announcements section for pertinent information.

In other news, what's this thread about?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-02-11 08:50am

welcome! hey! i like your avitar.

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-11 08:52am

I did something highly embarrasing in the form of collapsing at college on Friday, so yesterday (Monday) I was at the hospital and they were running all sorts of tests. CmdrSweevo knew about this and being the caring soul he is asked me how it went at the hospital and this is part of the MSN converstaion we had. He thought it was funny (so did I, I was there) and so he thought he'd post it on here for all you people to look at and hopefully giggle/smile at.

P.S. - Cheers Col. Crackpot, yours is cool too

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-11 05:00pm

Ok, seing the very comical but someone disturbing things posted on here, I was wondering which of you would infact like to hear a gross, disturbing and somewhat painful hospital tale of which I was told about only a week ago. I'll do a majority vote, so please post you opinion.

Thank you

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-02-11 05:04pm

Go ahead.

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-12 05:32am

Ok, I'll take that as a majority vote. Before you continue

WARNING! GRUSOME!

There we go, you have been warned.

2 weeks ago, a guy called Richard went into hospital after having a car crash. Though, dont be too sympathetic as he is also going to jail in 4 months due to the fact that the car he crashed he stole, he was stoned as well as drunk and his license was suspended. Anyways, he's in hospital and he's been out and sedated for about 3/4 days. He woke up and his girlfriend was there. After talking for about 30 mins he realised he had to go the toilet and as he went to get out of bed he realised that he had a tube going into his penis to help him pee. He saw it and had a brief panic attack and started ranting at his girlfriend.
"I got a tube coming out my d*ck! I dont want it in there!" etc. She tried to calm him and tell him that it had to be there. After 5 minutes of this converstaion he said
"Thats it!" and upon that note he ripped it out! Blood sprayed everywhere, he screamed in agony. Luckily he was in the intensive care ward and if he wasnt in pain before he is now.

I heard, I cringed, I shivered. The moral of the story, leave hospital staff to do their job. If there procedure says you need an injection and careful lubrication to take it out, dont rip it out people, or if you get a boner while your penis is in bandages, you're gonna be in some serious pain.

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-02-12 06:30pm

Hahahaha. That ain't nothing.

My friend in residency was telling me about several experiences as a group of us were celebrating at a swanky restaraunt. One was a girl who came in complaining she didn't have a bowel movement for a few days. So they took X-rays and nothing came up. My friend then stuck his finger up her @$$ and dug around but couldn't feel anything so he called in for a second opinion, a doctor with longer fingers.

The new doctor felt something, so he shoved two figners up there to try to dislodge it. It turned out the girl had stuck an entire deoderant stick up there while masturbating. When he removed it from her orifice they didn't move back in time and then they got sprayed, LOL.

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-13 10:47am

ROFL! Nice one Trytostaydead! Anyone got any other 'interesting' stories to post?