"Wha... what's this? Oh you fuckers! You and your fucking Let's Plays! Alright, where the fuck are we now?"
"Okay, at least we've got rice and elephants around here. What do we know?"
"You're all fucking useless, you know that? Start figuring out how to fucking hunt. Alright, who can we blame for this latest deluge of fucking Let's Plays?"
All fingers immediately pointed to a cowering Peptuck. He was promptly given a club and two Russian spammers as support and told to run towards the hills and scout things out a bit more thoroughly.
What's this? Locals! Perhaps they can tell us more of what's going on or lend assistance!
A map? A fucking map? Oh... a fuck it. At least we can see an area that might make a good secondary settlement one day with access to cattle, rice, and incense, although the deserts and mountains are a bit of a detractor.
A bit more scouting and... what's this? A large supply of high quality stone? With our teams of organized and industrious moderators overseeing teams of peons, that could really assist in the construction of monuments to the glory of our Lord and Master, Darth Wong. The whip marks on the backs of the worthless users would totally be worth it.
A bit more exploring and then we get back a communique from Peptuck stating that he lost track of one of the spam bots while wandering about in the jungle, and said something about a MILF or something. Later translation of his rambling informed us that he had not in fact run into a 'cougar' but a 'panther' that had dragged away one of the spam bots before he and the other bot clubbed it to death. He's been ordered to stay put until we can drag someone else kicking and screaming out there to help him.
All right, Peptuck is back in action and his scouting has definitely identified the most likely candidate for our next city when the time comes. We should be able to build a stone quarry and not one but two sugar mines for our drones to labour away in under their new arthropod overlords.
However, talk is now circulating. Imperial Centre is current undefended and we need a garrison at the moment to wave clubs threatening at any wildlife that gets too close. Who should we conscri... err... who will volunteer to sit out at home with a big club to serve as club fodder should the need arise? Not only that, but what project should we begin with next? More club fodder for added defence? Or a more competent scout to explore our surroundings? Perhaps the military members should get together and build up a proper barracks to train our idiots into something with an actual spine? Or should we gather together some hapless peons and have them approach large quadrupedal herbivores with pointy sticks so that we might have luxurious ivory to fill the gaping holes in our souls from our loss of everything we knew?
Also, we finally think we have the fundamentals of getting food more threatening that wheat through hunting, so the question is now what our research strategy should be? With the nearby presence of stone we could perhaps persue the art of taking a mountain and making it into vaguely cubical blocks bit by bit, although since no one knows how to make a goddamn road without asphault, transporting it might be a bit of a bitch until we can figure out dirt and cobblestone roads. There is also the issue of none of us having any metals, so we are considering sending out more scouts to look for shit we can work with, like copper deposits. When asked if this copper could be used to make chains and manacles, the moderating staff has become rather shifty eyed and refused to comment. There are other options, such as actually figuring out how to equip the idiots who are supposed to be defending us with actual bows and arrows instead of fucking clubs, or some daredevils who want to try and break wild horses or start sailing, and even some heretics who desire to add supernatural explanations to everything, but this is SDN!
So who will join up to help defend the empire, and what should we build and research next?
Commander of the MFS Darwinian Selection Method (sexual)
