MEGA-CHURCHES

Mr. B · Post by **Mr. B** » 2002-08-20 02:35pm

http://startribune.com/stories/614/3175709.html

100 million dollar churches. Somebodys getting scammed.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2002-08-20 02:39pm

Mr. B wrote:http://startribune.com/stories/614/3175709.html

100 million dollar churches. Somebodys getting scammed.

I'm more partial to small churches, although if they got the money,
who cares?

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-08-20 02:51pm

100 million dollar churches. You're right, someone IS getting scammed, and I WANT TO KNOW WHY IT'S NOT BY ME:

Lagmonster: "So...I want 1 billion dollars."
Corporations: "To do what?"
Lagmonster: "To build...umm...a church."
Corporation: "And it costs a billion to do that?"
Lagmonster: "Well, it's for God, right?"
Corporation: "Well...yes..."
Lagmonster: "And you wouldn't want to spare any expense on HIS account, would you?"
Corporation: "Well...no..."
Lagmonster: "Right then. Oh, and you can't see the parts and labour reciepts."
Corporation: "Hang on...why not?"
Lagmonster: "What, you think your puny mortal mind can comprehend the workings of the Accounting Procedures of the Lord??? Bow, heathen, before his tax-deductible might!"
Corporation: "Sorry, sorry...here you go."

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-08-20 02:53pm

Why doesn't the parish go rent a stadium or football field? More seats for the buck.

Mr. B · Post by **Mr. B** » 2002-08-20 03:01pm

Next of Kin wrote: Why doesn't the parish go rent a stadium or football field? More seats for the buck.

But then they would have to share it with those sports teams. And they get this all to themselves.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-08-20 03:35pm

You'd have more numbers at the stadium. Go for a football game and stay for a complimentary church service.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-20 04:25pm

*Chuckles lighty, damn fine waste of money, if we acutal go check the Bible there are not supposed to be one Large Offical Church or Church Buildings at all

And that friends is from the NEW Testmate

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-08-20 04:29pm

Talk about Six Flags Over Jesus. What's next, the holy water slide?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-08-20 04:39pm

The U.S. government actually letting ME form my own religion, just so I can get my cut of the Gullibul people money, and the Tax exempt status.....

Oh, and Free Petting Zoo and Pony Rides for the Kids with a $100 donation.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-08-20 05:43pm

Seriousily, why would you want to waste a hundred million on a lousy church. Can you imagine the kind of adult book store one could build for that much?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-08-21 01:04am

And think about the Communion! With all those people, the mass will be an hour longer! It will be like waiting in line for food at Disneyland! You would be at the end of the line, and could just barely make out the priest giving out the wafers on the horizon!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-08-21 01:08am

Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven.

The funny thing about people who build 100-million dollar churches is that they find their own way of weaseling out of passages like that; I once had a fundie explain to me that Jesus said it was harder than shoving a camel through the eye of a needle, but technically speaking, he didn't say it was completely impossible.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2002-08-21 12:06pm

Darth Wong wrote:Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven.

The funny thing about people who build 100-million dollar churches is that they find their own way of weaseling out of passages like that; I once had a fundie explain to me that Jesus said it was harder than shoving a camel through the eye of a needle, but technically speaking, he didn't say it was completely impossible.

I guess it just depends on how well the camel is "greased".

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2002-08-21 12:11pm

You mean 'it depends on how well the camel was turned into grease' don't you?

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2002-08-21 12:40pm

Luke Starkiller wrote:You mean 'it depends on how well the camel was turned into grease' don't you?

That's probably the only way it would really work but I was trying to imply that having a lot of money ccould be used to grease palms, or the camel, to get the rich guy into heaven.

Quid · Post by **Quid** » 2002-08-21 11:00pm

Someone once said "The noblest causes require the most money"

Bullshit. That isn't noble, it is the "Holllywoodification" of decent religion. What ever happened to the humility that is taught in the Bible?

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-08-21 11:12pm

Why does so much money need to be poured into a church. Can't the congregation decide on a less elaborate building and plough the savings into a local/national charity?

Mr. B · Post by **Mr. B** » 2002-08-22 01:58am

Next of Kin wrote: Why does so much money need to be poured into a church. Can't the congregation decide on a less elaborate building and plough the savings into a local/national charity?

Bigger the church to more money people give. That means more for the church. This whole place is a huge collectionplate that ust sucks out peoples money and uses it on their evangalical campaigns.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-08-22 02:07am

I am just trying to figure out what Jesus was doing to that poor camel.....

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-08-22 02:09am

Baron!, C.S.!, HITMAN!

Proof I have been in ASVS far too long

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2002-08-22 02:21am

I wonder if anyone has heard this joke before?

What stretches more, skin or rubber?

Lusankya · Post by **Lusankya** » 2002-08-22 02:53am

Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven.

The funny thing about people who build 100-million dollar churches is that they find their own way of weaseling out of passages like that; I once had a fundie explain to me that Jesus said it was harder than shoving a camel through the eye of a needle, but technically speaking, he didn't say it was completely impossible .

Perhaps he was refering to camel DNA strands. They'd pass through quite nicely. You could even get a whole bunch through at once. And technically speaking, camel DNA basically has "a camel" written all over it.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2002-08-22 04:16am

Well, anyways, back to the joke.

"What stretches more? Skin or rubber?"
"Rubber."
"Wrong. Skin."
"Why?"
"It says in the Bible that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked three miles."

LOL Forgot the actual context, like if he walked into some important place or whatnot, but it says he tied his ass to a tree and walked like a mile or a few miles. lol

Doomriser · Post by **Doomriser** » 2002-08-22 01:45pm

Hey, c'mon guys, show a little heart. God needs all that money.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-22 05:13pm

Ahh yes the Omnipotent god Creater of flawed man then gets made because he did know they where flawed now spends his days building umm buildings to himself as it seems he's forgot how to do that himself, the whole seven days bit?

Why does God sound more and more like a Angrey College drop out who spends his days stoned?

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