And while this poster looks more like it should be the cover art to an iron maiden album, is still quite badass, the movie does not disappoint.
or like this:
Which shows pretty much every single freaking thing to appear in the movie, minus George W. Bush as Han solo(I consider that a good thing though), also it also does not feature Admiral Ackbar, but that's because he's probably motorboating Princess Leia or something else that you wish you could do right then. This works, because pretty much everything in the movie is awesome, including and possibly especially George Bush Jr. not being Han Solo.
However then you get movie posters which look so freaking mindsplodingly awesome that you figure that the movie has to at the very least be mediocre, but in the end turns out to suck the big one in so many ways. Like for instance:
Just look at that fucking thing, it's fucking awesome! You've got a robotic cop, holding a gun in a dramatic pose, probably pointing said gun at an army of zombies or perhaps other robots, or zombies that are fighting robots! He's standing over the flaming wreckage of his motorcycle, which probably caught on fire due to sucking a zombie head into the intake manifold or something! And in the background is a very apocalyptic looking background, probably because of a Soviet weaponized Cthulhu, which this robot was undoubtedly built to fight! And those two shadowy figures in the background are probably zombies, or cthulhu cultists preparing for the final epic zombie on robot on cthulhu throwdown! ...or something.
Unfortunately, this movie is nowhere near as awesome and is largely considered by just about everyone ever(probably cthulhu too) to suck big giant wingwang.
Then there is this:
This movie actually didn't entirely suck, it had it's moments, and in fact was pretty good for being one of the first major sci fi releases out of canada. However, all that stuff you see on the cover there, it's not in the movie... well except for the beach, there in fact is a beach, and it indeed has sand on it with some rocks, but that's about it. There is no horribly ruined awesome looking city which in no way has any irradiated zombies of any kind, nor any mutants either. There is a space suit, but it is only seen for like thirty seconds at the beginning and looks pretty lame. There is also a space station, but it does not look anywhere near that badass, it kind of looks like an weird 3d octagon or somesuch, and it's like the size of a large camper, not as big as a freaking 747. And while the movie is not entirely horrible, it does in fact act as a huge disappointment, kind of like getting a porno movie with a really hot chick on the cover who looks like that super hot celebrity you always wanted to do (Angelina Jolie, Clare Danes, that lady from the Goonies, whatever), but in stead when you get to watch it, the chick actually has a penis, or like seven teeth or it's a scat movie or something.
Oh yes, and it also possesses only a moderate amount of drama, and is maybe only half full of action rather than being "packed" with it.
Anyway, what are the movies that you have scene which looked like awesome headsplosion inducing badass-fests, but turned into giant penis having poo smearing disappointments?
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- PeZook
