Saddam's War Plan?

[Oddity]

A thought struck me when I was watching the news yesterday and wondering what Saddam Hussein’s next move would be; what would I have done if I had been in his place?

Okay, let’s pretend that I’m one of Saddam’s generals, and he just ordered me to defeat the invaders:

***

Goals:

The previous Gulf War taught me that I can’t defeat the American dogs and their English cocksuckers on open ground, so I won’t even try. Keep conventional warfare to a minimum, in other words. Public opinion is also important; if I can show lots of dead American troops and Iraq civilians, the American public will most likely turn against their leader.
1. Do anything we can to inflict casualties upon the invaders and exploit this in propaganda broadcasts. Our own casualties are not important; they can easily be replaced when the war is over.
2. Use civilians as human shields, then show the dead on television and complain about the American murderers.
3. Saddam Hussein and the military top brass must be kept alive at all costs so that the regime survives.

Deployment:

Establish three defensive rings with Baghdad at the centre. The first ring will consist of ordinary irregulars spiced up with members of Fedayeen Saddam. The second ring will consist of the Republican Guard. Finally, the third ring will consist of the most loyal and well-trained troops at my disposal, such as the Medina Division and so on. All units will keep to large cities such as Umm Qasr and An Nasiriyah, and chokepoints such as the river Eufrat.

Camouflaged storages with weapons and ammunition will be left out in the countryside for guerrilla troops. Eventually they’ll run out, of course, so we have to find someone who can re-supply them. Al Queda, perhaps?

Rockets with chemical warheads will also be camouflaged and hidden in the desert. Hopefully, this will prevent them from being discovered by spy satellites and –planes. Note that the launch of these rockets is only an absolute last resort, since it will most probably turn public opinion against us.

Tactics:

We will be utilizing guerrilla tactics to hit their flanks and supply lines. Since supply vehicles and lightly armed forces is the target, state of the art weapons won’t be necessary. These troops need not be particularly well trained, either. In heavy firefights discipline is a must when we see our friends dying left and right, but the guerrilla units will only attack in situations when they have overwhelming firepower and\or numbers.

We’ll also deploy ‘sleeping forces’ that will wait until the Americans had passed by, and then ‘wake up’ and attack them in the rear. If I can get fundies to commit suicide bombings, that would be good, too.

Baghdad will be the crowning glory. The Americans can’t by-pass this city. All easy entries will be blocked off, with snipers on every roof. The objective is to force the Americans into a street-by-street, building-by-building, room-by-room battle that will chew up their soldiers. Also, with six million civilians in the city, the Americans would have to be very careful with their bombs.

We will win by loosing. Slowly. Very slowly.

***

What do you think?

[Col. Crackpot]

i'd do pretty much what he is doing and a few different things as well..if i was an evil bastard

1)fighting withdrawal by regular forces with guerilla counterattacks by irregualr millitia long enough to keep Allied forces busy so i can fortify baghdad.

2)Use my pussy surrendering conscripts as a weapon. put them in the path of the Allied onslaught to slow them down by having to process the pow's

3)Make them attack me in Baghdad surrounded by my best forces on my own turf.

4)Hold off in baghdad as long as i can until the weather gets hot and nasty as fuck. then counter attack with whatever i have left.

even still, i don't think it will be enough