News of the weird

[thecreech]

British shock artist Damien Hirst, chronicled several times in News of the Weird (e.g., skinned dead cattle in copulating positions), told The Guardian newspaper in June that he had discovered a new refinement after giving up drinking. Said Hirst: "I can drink, I can take drugs, and I can produce art. But the art starts looking stupid." Once, he said, he wanted to cover a pig in vibrators to look like a hedgehog and call it Pork-u-Pine. His new installation, set for London in the fall, features Jesus and the apostles as 13 Ping-Pong balls bobbing on fountains of red wine, and another piece on the disciples features several pickled bull's heads. [The Guardian, 6-11-03]
Business is apparently good for "pet psychics" and "communicators" who not only claim to understand animals' emotions in human terms but work with a client base that has included spiders, an iguana, a snake, a skunk, a hawk, a camel and cockroaches, and can do most of their work remotely by having the pet stand close to the telephone (at about $25 for 15 minutes). The Animal Planet channel has a weekly program, "Pet Psychic," and newspapers recently profiled practitioners in Florida, North Carolina and Pennsylvania. (Revelations: Spiders mostly express interest in not being killed, and one French poodle's issue was supposedly the dog's having imaged everything in French instead of English.) [Hartford Courant, 3-19-03; Miami Herald, 10-3-02; York (Pa.) Daily Record, 4-24-03; Palm Beach Post, 6-3-03]

God's Been Busy: Christian Broadcasting Network reported in June that it was no coincidence that the Bush administration's April and May announcements to support a separate Palestinian state were followed by "the worst months of tornadoes in American history" (375 twisters in eight days) and other meteorological disasters; God is punishing the United States, CBN said, for supporting the biblically unthinkable division of Israel. And in May in Brunswick, Ga., after Mary Burgess inherited a cockapoo dog named Cindy and $10,000 to care for her, she told a probate court that God had recently told her she would actually need "$50,000" for Cindy; Burgess had figured expenses (e.g., $225 a month for haircuts) as even more, but said she'd accept the Lord's number. [Christian Broadcasting Network, 6-26-03] [Atlanta Journal Constitution, 6-1-03]
And in May, Laurie Hanniford, of Carlisle, Pa., was fined $352 for failure to file a state tax return in 2000, when she was 14, on total earnings of $316, for which no tax was due, anyway. [Louisville Courier-Journal, 6-2-03] [Las Vegas Sun-AP, 6-6-03]

In Chelmsford, Mass., the town council was split on whether to open the meeting with a Pledge of Allegiance and spent nearly an hour debating such issues as whether the meeting might already be "open" and thus could not "open" with the Pledge (April).
The Speaker of the New Zealand House ruled in May that, though laptop computers are forbidden in the chamber, one member could bring in his carburetor and work on it, as long he didn't make noise. And the Green Party in Granada, Spain, for the country's May elections, offered a comprehensive platform that included issuing "sex vouchers" to give adults under age 25 local hotel-room discounts to encourage couples' intimacy (and safe sex and contraception) because most people that age still live with their parents. [Stuff.co.nz <http://Stuff.co.nz> (Fairfax newspaper consortium), 5-21-03] [BBC News, 5-11-03]

In Easton, Pa., in June, Richard James Clader, 38, was sentenced to at least seven months in prison for a series of episodes on state roads 22 and 33 in which eventually 27 people contacted authorities to report that a motorist (identified as Clader) had driven nude, with the horn blasting, while vigorously masturbating. Clader told the judge that he believes his behavior stemmed from feeling neglected as a child and later by his wife, but said he is making substantial progress. [Easton Express-Times, 6-4-03]

In Racine, Wis., in January, city and state officials knocked on Angie Anderson's door to inform her that they were about to capture a sickly owl in a tree in her yard, but she explained that the reason it appeared immobile was that it was a fake owl, purchased two years earlier from Wal-Mart for $14.99.
A 26-year-old man was killed after he asked his uncle to stab him in the chest to see if a bulletproof vest would protect him (Lakewood, Colo., June). A veteran skydiver accidentally crashed into a veteran hangglider at about 4,000 feet, killing both men (Brackley, England, June). [Mainichi Daily News, 6-25-03] [Denver Post, 6-24-03] [The Sun, 6-13-03]
And career criminal Gary Cowan, whose latest sentence was up, confessed to three more crimes with the hope he would be allowed to stay in prison to finish a restaurant management course (Cambridge, England). [CNN-Reuters, 7-3-03] [Associated Press, 7-2-03] [Daily Telegraph (London), 7-1-03]

[Shortie]

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News of the Weird (It's a good site, check out the archives)

[LT.Hit-Man]

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