Unnamed crossover

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-27 10:42pm

Green bolts of energy lance through space forming titanic explosions as they impact against the Sheilds of the Desperate Hope. Similarly massive bolts of crimson red lance from the Desperate hope, however they seem pathetic against the massive bulk of the ISD Viscious. Their respective fighters weave and lunge in a dance of death over the two ships spitting energy at each other, trying desperatly to win their dog fights. Concentrated fire on the ISD's bridge sheild grid allows an x-wing to land a lucky proton torpedo shot. Momentarily be-headed the massive craft begins a sickening dive twoards the
Desperate Hope. However, the gunners continue firing the whole time. Gargantuan heavy turbolaser blasts rain a deadly hail directly over the Desperate Hope's reactor. The sheilds aren't up to the task. The ensuing blast creates a micro wormhole as a powersurge causes the ISD's hyperdrive to activate, the massive energies intertwine and then, as if some diety had flicked a switch, all the crew sees is blackness.
Well, How was it?

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-27 10:43pm

No plot, no characters, badly written action...

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-07-27 10:50pm

Might've made a halfway decent introductory paragraph...

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-27 10:51pm

Ok then. That's the end of that story. If i keep trying i'll get one going eventually.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-07-28 10:54pm

Its interesting. The problem is a lack of detail and you have greatly limited immersion through your writing style. Also, its a little confusing a complex due to the fact that we are unaware who's doing what to who.

Its not a bad effort, but with a bit of expanding it would be better.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-07-29 05:04am

SUCKED!

However you do get one do-over.