Favorite Quotes

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-09-14 12:16am

Post them! Be they historical, contemporary, fantasy, sci-fi, or fiction, books, literature, the written word, movies, or video games, post them!

Some of mine:

A few from 'Firefly:'

Zoë: Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black market beagles.

Zoë: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife!
Zoë: Anyone we can't spare.

-Mal is standing over a man he's defeated in combat; his sword is at the man's throat-
Mal: Mercy is the mark of a great man.
-Mal stabs the man in the shoulder-
Mal: Guess I'm just a good man.
-He stabs him again-
Mal: Well, I'm ok.

From 'The Boondock Saints':

Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink ships!
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.

Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relatio

Conner MacManus: Jesus! He brought a six-shooter!
Murphy MacManus: There were nine guys. What were you going to do? Laugh the last three to death?

And a few from real life:

The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them we are missing.
-Gamel Abdel Nasser[/quote

On the Tobruk front a large force of Italians attacked one enemy cyclist, causing him to dismount. After heavy and prolonged fighting they were able to puncture his tires. The front wheel was destroyed, while destruction of the rear wheel must also be considered probable. The handle bars are in our hands, but possession of the frame is still contested.
-German satire of an Italian war communique, reportedly captured by British troops in Libya

"The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his..." General Patton

"They couldn't hit an elephant at that dist-...." - Major General John Sedgwick's Last Words (American Civil War)

"General Lee, I have no division!"

--George Pickett

"It's the invasion! There must be ten thousand ships out there!"
*What way are these ships of yours headed?*
"Right for me!"
-Werner Pluskat, June 6, 1944

You can be sure of the French always beating any number of Germans who come into the field against them. They will never be beaten by any nation but the English, for to every other nation they are, in efficiency and intelligence, decidely superior
-Matthew Arnold, British poet at the outset of the Franco-Prussian War

Please tell me you're a Republican
Ronald Reagan to his surgeon after being shot by John Hinkley

If there is a God, then Richelieu has much to answer for. If there is not, then he has done very well.
-Pope Urban VIII, on hearing of Richelieu's death.

"All the former prisoners are now the government."
-US Ambassador to Czechoslovakia Shirley Temple Black, on the new Czech leadership, January, 1990.

If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.
- Albert Einstein

"I'd rather have a German Division in front of me than a French one behind."
- General George S. Patton

"The Pope! how many divisions has he got?"
- Stalin
In 1935, a French visitor asked Soviet leader Josef Stalin if he thought Pope Pius XI might prove to be an ally.

"Tell my son Josef that he will meet my divisions in eternity."
- Reply from the Pope when he heard the story years later.

"The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose."
Muammar Qaddafi

"And also i think we should destroy Carthage."
-Cato

"Some damned foolish thing in the Balkans,"
Bismarck's prediction on what would provoke the next war

"God favors fools, little children and the United States of America."
-Bismark again

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-14 12:36am

"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world." - Sir Malcolm Bradbury

"We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought." - Winston Churchill, on a political rival

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." - P.J. O'Rourke

"Such a fine line between clever and stupid, really." - David St. Hubbins

"I love a woman who can kick my ass." - Spike Spiegel

"No, that would destroy the resale value." - an economist, responding to a suggestion that he have his wife's wedding ring engraved

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-09-14 12:36am

I don't feel like making a list right now, maybe later. But I always liked these two, which also illustrate my great dislike of melee cavalry.

"They are in armour. Fire at the horses" –unknown 40th regiment sergeant, Waterloo

"Here come those damned fools again" –men of the 30th regiment, Waterloo

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-09-14 04:44am

Marge : If the police are renegade, then who will be around to police the police ?!
Homer : ionno...... coast guard ?

<flashing alarm system> : SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED!

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-09-14 09:41am

Some of my favourite quotes are in my sig.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-09-14 10:06am

"Shit happens."-Anon.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-09-14 12:41pm

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-09-14 01:58pm

We live on a hunk of rock and metal that circles a humdrum star that is one of 400 billion other stars that make up the Milky Way Galaxy which is one of billions of other galaxies which make up a universe which may be one of a very large number, perhaps an infinite number, of other universes. That is a perspective on human life and our culture that is well worth pondering.
-- Carl Sagan

You cannot be both sane and well educated and disbelieve in evolution. The evidence is so strong that any sane, educated person has got to believe in evolution.
-- Richard Dawkins

It is absolutely safe to say that, if you meet somebody who claims not to believe in evolution, that person is ignorant, stupid or insane (or wicked, but I'd rather not consider that).
-- Richard Dawkins

It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, "mad cow" disease, and many others, but I think a case can be made that faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate.
-- Richard Dawkins

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-09-14 02:24pm

Some lady to Winston Churchill: "Sir, if I were your wife, I'd poison your coffee!"
Winston Churchill to some lady: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!"

Anon: "Hurdle the dead and trample the weak."

?: "Money is the root of all wealth."

And everything by Steven Wright.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-09-14 05:39pm

"The gods of transportation have been kind to us." -Walter Matthau in The Couch Trip

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-09-14 06:14pm

"It looks like a dildo!"
"That's appropriate. Armed, it can fuck solar systems."

Ulver Seich and Churt Lyne talking about the demilitarized Rapid Offensive Unit Frank Exchange of Views, from Excession by Iain M. Banks

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-09-14 06:14pm

Mine's in my sig.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-09-14 06:29pm

*Floating in the sewer*
"Ah, look. Baby alligators."
"Well, they're buoyant and log-shaped little buddy, but I don't think they're baby alligators."
- Sam and Max, Freelance Police

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-09-14 06:51pm

"No matter how beautiful, sweet, caring and do-able a woman is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit." gurujeff.com, and it really fits with my past experiences.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2003-09-15 12:07am

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-09-15 01:51am

Enigma wrote:Some of my favourite quotes are in my sig.

Where'd you get the one about the endless hordes of werewolf doggies?

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-09-15 02:03am

Xenophobe3691 wrote:
Enigma wrote:Some of my favourite quotes are in my sig.
Where'd you get the one about the endless hordes of werewolf doggies?

Google says Baldur's Gate II.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-09-15 02:04am

Dalton wrote: Google says Baldur's Gate II.

Alright, thanks, was hoping it was a book I could read. Ah well

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-09-15 02:31am

"No retreat, no surrender!" - Imperial Guard armored company Commissar's motto.

"Suffer! You will all suffer!" - Jon Irenicus

"Burn in righteous flames!" - generic flamer-wielding Space Marine battlecry.

"I find your lack of faith.... disturbing." - the big D V

"They came from behind...!" - pilot during Battle of Yavin

"Take evasive action!" - Admiral Ackbar

"While their fighters are attacking I wonder what those Star Destroyers are waiting for...?" - Lando Calrissian

Most anything ever said by Strong Bad.

"Boo says, 'What?'" - Minsc

"You Rebel scum." - Imperial NCO during Battle of Endor

"D'oh!" - If you can't figure this one out, you're retarded.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-15 02:55am

Most anything from Westerns with Eastwood.

"Are you gonna draw those irons or Wistle Dixie boys."

"It's all a lie, the white man is sneaking up on us for a long time."

and the "Present Company exempted" remark reguarding first Indians and then whites.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-09-15 03:58pm

Gotta love Braveheart:

"The problem with Scotland, is that it's full of Scots!" --Bloody Edward Longshanks, Rex.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-09-15 04:35pm

Another Braveheart:

"The Lord said he kin get me owt o' this... but yer fuq'd."
--'The Irishman' (King Brian Buru)

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-09-15 04:39pm

Dead Ringers on Radio 4 wrote:"The name is William Hague, Conservative Party Leader, and I refuse to be reffered to as the illegitamate spawn of Anne Widdecombe and Nicolas Parsons..."

Eddie Izzard in Unrepeatable wrote: "Officer, there's a nutter in the park..."
"Oh, it's a low powered vampire sir, they're no bother this time of year."

Eddie Izzard again in Unrepeatable wrote:
"Jim, Jim! Christ! Jim, Me Bones, Christ Jim, how long have I known you, Jim? As long as Spock? Christ, Spock, Jim, Spock, man, this boys dieing of Lurgi! Lurgi, Jim! 5 Lurgis, and two I've never heard of. I'm going to have to remove his brain, his liver, his lungs and his spleen, and I have to do it with a torch as well."

...

"Then they'd all beam down somewhere, last one down the transporter room's a wanker... ...but if there was a new guy going with them...
"Who's that?"
"Oh, that's Stevens, sir, he's with accounts..."
"Accounts? I didnt know we had an accounts? Stevens?"
"Er, yes sir? Well, last time, the figures were a bit weird, 400 packed lunches were eaten and only two of you beamed down. So I thought I'd beam down, put me best red jumper on."
"We're all wearing light blue, did you know there's a target on the front of your shirt? Anyway, prepare to beam down..."

"Wubbblelubbleleebleleebleleeblearghhhhh"

And the rest of them are just looking at him.

"What was all that about, Stevens?"
"I thought I was beaming down!"
"No, we've got a machine to do that, we pull these levers, see?"
"Oh, you bastards, you just let me do that?!"

The Monty Python posse wrote:
"We are now, no longer the Knights who say Ni."
*Ni*
*Shhh*
"We are now the Knights who say... 'Eki Eki Eki Eki Futang Zoom Boing Bazambria."
*Ni*

"Dinsdale was a perfect ordinary person, except... except that he was convinced that he was being followed by a Giant Hedgehog called Spiny Norman."

"Hold it! I am Inspector Fox of the BBC Light Entertainment Police, Special Flying Squad."
"Flying Fox of the Yard?"
"Stop it!"

There are probably a horde of literary ones as well, but these are the ones that spring to mind right now. Something to do with just having watched Python and Izzard.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-09-15 04:55pm

dunno who said this, or where its from... but its quite possibly the most truthful statement i have ever heard...

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur

Anything said in Latin sounds profound.

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2003-09-15 05:42pm

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
--George Santayana