You wake up and you are suddenly George W. Bush

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2004-01-01 12:06am

What will you do/think/say?

(you're in the white house of course. As president. Possibly next to Laura Bush as an afterthought....if that's scary for you or good for you, anyhowowowowow.....)

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2004-01-01 12:09am

Shinova wrote:What will you do/think/say?

(you're in the white house of course. As president. Possibly next to Laura Bush as an afterthought....if that's scary for you or good for you, anyhowowowowow.....)

Stop mis-pronouncing every other word (most prevelant example, say "nuclear", not "nukular")

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2004-01-01 12:27am

I would kill the entire cabinet, the speaker, the pro temp, and then myself

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2004-01-01 12:30am

First, declare myself Emperor of the Known Universe. Then procede to preemptively strike every missile silo, submarine, and airfield of any foreign nation that can field nuclear weapons. After that, deploy soldiers to every corner of the world and subdue the locals through use of excessive force and violence. Then, sit atop my throne and rule over a world of slaves.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-01-01 12:36am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:First, declare myself Emperor of the Known Universe. Then procede to preemptively strike every missile silo, submarine, and airfield of any foreign nation that can field nuclear weapons. After that, deploy soldiers to every corner of the world and subdue the locals through use of excessive force and violence. Then, sit atop my throne and rule over a world of slaves.

Shhh! You're rushing it! All you have to do is play the part and you'll get there anyway! I know it's tempting but you have a much better chance of success if you keep it slow and steady... Oh, and kill Cheney, he only plans to usurp you.

And get a hotter wife! Your'e the President!

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-01-01 12:41am

Lazy Raptor wrote:
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:First, declare myself Emperor of the Known Universe. Then procede to preemptively strike every missile silo, submarine, and airfield of any foreign nation that can field nuclear weapons. After that, deploy soldiers to every corner of the world and subdue the locals through use of excessive force and violence. Then, sit atop my throne and rule over a world of slaves.
Shhh! You're rushing it! All you have to do is play the part and you'll get there anyway! I know it's tempting but you have a much better chance of success if you keep it slow and steady... Oh, and kill Cheney, he only plans to usurp you.

And get a hotter wife! Your'e the President!

I call dibs as leader of the secret police...

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2004-01-01 12:47am

I'd suddenly denounce religion in favor of atheism and science and do other things of that nature.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2004-01-01 12:56am

Go back to bed.

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2004-01-01 12:58am

darthdavid wrote:I'd suddenly denounce religion in favor of atheism and science and do other things of that nature.

You have to take small steps before you take worthwhile steps. Correct Bush's little speech impediment first.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2004-01-01 12:59am

Straha wrote:Go back to bed.

ditto

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-01-01 01:00am

I knock it off with the rabid "patriotism", stop pushing for anything related to Patriot Act (I or II, it doesn't matter).

Basically, I stop trying to piss everyone and everything off. If a public apology is necessary, I'd do it (but not before determining how bad the side-effects would be).

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2004-01-01 02:53am

Guess who's singing from the oak tree...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-01-01 03:04am

Many of the things people said they'd do would simply never fly. The president has considerable power, but it's not a dictatorship.

If I woke up tomorrow and discovered that I was President Bush (leaving aside the personal issues of wife and kids), I would probably start making a lot of really incriminating public comments to reporters. For example, I would "accidentally" remark off the record something like "well, if you look at the faith-based initiative and how successful it's been in circumventing the establishment clause, you can see there's really a lot of wiggle room in that old Constitution. We shouldn't think of the Constitution as a hard and fast restriction, but really as more of a vague kind of guideline".

Or "ultimately, when you have to choose between the environment and corporate profits, you have to look at what really matters. The End Times are coming as prophesied in the Book of Revelations anyway, so why should we worry about the environment?"

Or "I think that ideally, America would be a purely Christian nation. If you look at the damage caused by Muslims, by atheists, by Wiccans, and all people who refuse to accept the Lord Jesus Christ into their hearts, it's pretty obvious that this country's problems start and stop with unbelievers. If we could just deport them all, that would be the ideal solution. But I realize that's not a practical final solution."

Or "obviously, we can't go toppling every ruthless and cruel dictator in the world. Most of them don't have oil, so why should we?"

Etc. And why would I say all of these horrible things if I were George Bush? To make sure he would not be re-elected. Because I have no way of knowing how long this personality-exchange situation is going to last, and let's face it: a complete 180 degree turnaround in his policies would merely lead to my own party revolting on me and refusing to support any of my initiatives (or possibly an assassination).

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-01 03:07am

why couldn't i have woken up as a cockroach1111

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-01-01 03:10am

I'd:

-Kill the PATRIOT Act. If the Democrats were marginally competent, they'd use it against me in 2004 and possibly cost me the election.

-Get a new Attorney General. Ashcroft is too far to the right. I'd pick some left-leaning-on-social-issues Republican to fill his spot.

-Instead of giving breaks to charities based on faith, give breaks based on what they do, and whether or not money giving to them is just going to end up in their own coffers.

-Perhaps drop Cheney from the ticket in 2004 and put Rice, in an attempt to get the votes of blacks and women, two groups Republicans aren't doing well with. This is a maybe, perhaps only make her VP is Cheney has another heart attack and is incapable of doing his job.

-Stop leaning so far to the right on social issues like gay marriage. I probably wouldn't legalaze it until I'm re-elected, however. Probably toward the end so I don't have to put up with three years of bitching from the religous right.

-Start supporting nuclear power. Solar and wind aren't efficent enough to power an entire country, and fossil fuels pollute too much. And screw what Greenpeace says, it's not like the administration isn't already.

-Continue operations in Afghanistan, and get the war on Al-Qaeda back on track, while taking steps to minimize casualties in the transfer of power in Iraq, and make sure a theocracy or dictatorship of any stripe is put in power there.

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-01-01 03:30am

I suddenly wake up as a 50+ grey-haired good Christian from Texas?

I'd order the nearest Secret Service agent to surrender his weapon and turn it on myself.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2004-01-01 03:32am

Kuja wrote:I suddenly wake up as a 50+ grey-haired good Christian from Texas?

I'd order the nearest Secret Service agent to surrender his weapon and turn it on myself.

Suicide is the Pansy's way out.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-01-01 03:43am

I would immediately declare myself 'Minister of Masturbation' and declare a world day of jerking off.

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-01-01 03:46am

darthdavid wrote:Suicide is the Pansy's way out.

Only if you consider suddenly becoming George W. to be not as bad as death. I don't.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2004-01-01 03:47am

Darth Wong wrote:Or "I think that ideally, America would be a purely Christian nation. If you look at the damage caused by Muslims, by atheists, by Wiccans, and all people who refuse to accept the Lord Jesus Christ into their hearts, it's pretty obvious that this country's problems start and stop with unbelievers. If we could just deport them all, that would be the ideal solution. But I realize that's not a practical final solution."

I love that one. Especially the last bit. That'd be enough to scare people.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2004-01-01 03:53am

You're all wrong, very first thing to do is roll over take Laura Bush's legs, swing one on each shoulder and plow away making her say she's my bitch and I own her pussy. After blowing a load on her face and making her like it I go downstairs and make a sandwhich.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2004-01-01 04:03am

Stravo, that sickened me. And I don't sicken easily. And Mike, what if it was permanent (or at least till after a possible second term)? What then?

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2004-01-01 04:06am

StormTrooperTR889 wrote:Stravo, that sickened me. And I don't sicken easily. And Mike, what if it was permanent (or at least till after a possible second term)? What then?

Then you find a weapon.

(and I, oddly enough, found nothing wrong with Stravo's post.)

To quote random commenters on FreakHole, "I'd hit that!"

I'm joking guys, I'm joking....

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2004-01-01 04:12am

Mike: Such blatant anti-non-christianity, at first, would be very bad, and might upset even your own party. Tho who cares. :p

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2004-01-01 04:20am

Yeah, I'd hit it. With a crowbar.

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You wake up and you are suddenly George W. Bush

You wake up and you are suddenly George W. Bush

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