Cooking disasters

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-05-20 12:23am

All right, I'm sure any of you who cook on a regular basis have had an experimental dish you were making go horribly wrong at some point. So let's hear about it.

I'll start; tonight I was making a dish called Chilled Sesame Ramen; it involves chilling ramen noodles after boiling them and then mixing them with a sauce consisting of veggie oil, sesame seeds, peanut butter, ginger, and soy sauce. Unfortunately I couldn't get the sauce to be very smooth, I realized I didn't have sesame seeds halfway through making the dish, and I overcooked the ramen, so the dish that I ended up created kind of reminds me of that scene from the movie The Client where they dig up a decomposing body covered with maggots. It probably tastes about the same.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-05-20 02:29am

I was once making fried rice with bits of egg in it, and for God knows what reason, I forgot to stir and mix the egg in. So when I opened 'er up there were two big yellow eyes staring back at me. Probably tasted okay, I don't remember, but damn it looked wierd.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-05-20 02:35am

One of my attempts to bake a pie once wound up as a perfect music video for a certain song by Paul McCartney...

Shark Bait · Post by **Shark Bait** » 2004-05-20 03:16am

I once detonated a deep fat fried turkey on a camping trip with my scout troop we found parts of it in a tree 50 yards away

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-05-20 03:20am

Humburger, with Hoisin sauce and frozen peas.

...Nasty.

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2004-05-20 04:32am

My attempt to make a Creme Anglaise resulted in a glorified vanilla sauce. And burned four Euros for real Vanilla for it...

Oh, and don't ever try and toast crispbread

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-05-20 10:23am

I was making a pudding last week, there is a phase where one must pour powder on the mix, then add water to make the "icing." I botched the orderm and the powder floated on the water.

When I got it out of the oven a while later, it had burnt into a great big shell. Quite impressive.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-05-20 10:31am

one time when i was ten i wanted to make rock candy. at the time i'd remembered reading somewhere that it could be created by leaving a glass of water mixed with sugar out on a windowsill in bright sunlight so the water evaporates. if you put a string hanging from a pencil the sugar would collect on the string, eventually forming rock candy.

being the instant gratification type at the time, i got the bright idea that since all it takes is the water evaporating, i could use the microwave to do the same trick. So taking the sugar and water mixture, and the string, i put it in the microwave for about 5 minutes. After about 2 of them i smelled something rather unpleasant coming from it, and after opening the microwave had discovered the sugar had become this icky black dome of carbon bubbling up from the glass, with a rather ruined glass as a result.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-05-20 10:39am

well, i was a part time short order cook in the summertime back when i was 17-18, so i have many a tale of disasterous cooking.

i once accidently ignited the contents of a conveyor feed toaster and set fire to a loaf of bread and several dozen dinner rolls.

while flipping burgers and grilled chicken breasts in an acrobatic fashon to show off in front of the female waitstaff i inadvertantly launched a half pund hamburger into a fryolater

perhaps the most entertaining of my restaraunt mishaps involved a pressurised 5 gallon jug of whipped cream used for ice cream sundaes. We made our own whipped cream, and kept it HEAVILY pressurized with nitrous oxide. Well there was a pressure release valve that is used to depressureize the canister when you have used all of the cream, well i accidently flipped it up and covered a waitress from head to to in heavy whipped cream. and the wall....and ceiling...and the door and the dishwasher etc...etc...etc.