Oxymorons

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-11-07 01:39pm

You've all heard oxymorons like "jumbo shrimp", "military intelligence" and "Catholic education". Here are some new ones.

"TOP 35 OXYMORONS:"

35. State worker
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Amtrak schedule
19. Military intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Compassionate conservative
16. "Now, then ..."
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Computer security
8. Political science
7. Tight slacks
6. Definite maybe
5. Pretty ugly
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. Religious tolerance

And the No. 1 oxymoron
1. Microsoft Works

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-11-07 01:44pm

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2002-11-07 01:45pm

"clearly misunderstood" Oh god, my sides, that is SERIOUSLY FUNNY!

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-11-07 01:52pm

Some of them aren't even remotely oxymoronic. Resident Alien is one such example.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 01:55pm

Newtonian Fury wrote:Some of them aren't even remotely oxymoronic. Resident Alien is one such example.

It is.....aliens are from outside the country and have no citizenship....residents are those that have citizenship.

On a side note, Jumbo shrimp!

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-11-07 01:55pm

Go look up 'alien' in a dictionary. Then look up 'resident'. See the difference?

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-11-07 02:05pm

No, residents are defined by the government agency to be someone who lives in the US. Therefore, the term is valid.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 02:07pm

Newtonian Fury wrote:No, residents are defined by the government agency to be someone who lives in the US. Therefore, the term is valid.

Resident is defined as one who has legal citizenship....trust me, I had a lot or residence problems when applying for financial aid at school. I KNOW what I am talking about.

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-11-07 02:14pm

And I only recently became an American citizen. I know the immigration laws and their definition.

For many scholarships, the requirement is either U.S. citizenship or a qualified resident[of the state of University]. A qualification that fits is Resident Alien. Meaning, must have the "Green Card". [The other requirement being must have lived in the state for a while(not too long).]

Residency and citizenship does not mean the same in the law.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 02:17pm

Newtonian Fury wrote:And I only recently became an American citizen. I know the immigration laws and their definition.

For many scholarships, the requirement is either U.S. citizenship or a qualified resident[of the state of University]. A qualification that fits is Resident Alien. Meaning, must have the "Green Card". [The other requirement being must have lived in the state for a while(not too long).]

Residency and citizenship does not mean the same in the law.

Okay, you have a point. But in literal definition, at leats, they are opposite.

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-11-07 02:23pm

Literal definitions are kinda tricky. How do would one define college students who live out of state during school time? Would he be an alien[to that state] because his address out of school is in another state, or would he be a resident because he lives in the dorms during the school time?

During school time he would definitely be a resident of his dorm. But uni's usually list a permanent address.

I like clear cut legal definitions.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 02:27pm

Newtonian Fury wrote:Literal definitions are kinda tricky. How do would one define college students who live out of state during school time? Would he be an alien[to that state] because his address out of school is in another state, or would he be a resident because he lives in the dorms during the school time?

During school time he would definitely be a resident of his dorm. But uni's usually list a permanent address.

I like clear cut legal definitions.

It would, depending on how long he/she lives out of state, and whether or not they are an exchange student.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2002-11-07 02:34pm

wow, look at how one person can turn an oxymoron into quite the argument.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-11-07 02:36pm

Alright: an alien is, by definition, something unkown and unfamiliar. Resident means that a person lives there. It's the simple clash of the definitions that creates an oxymoron.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-07 03:04pm

[1] Should be Darkstar's intelligence

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 03:10pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:[1] Should be Darkstar's intelligence

Or Darkstar's short-windedness, lol.

Sienthal · Post by **Sienthal** » 2002-11-07 04:09pm

Educational Television,

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 04:11pm

Sienthal wrote:Educational Television,

HEY!! I watched NOVA and The History Channel as a kid!!!

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-11-07 04:13pm

Dicovery and History channels!!!!

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 04:19pm

IG-88E wrote:Dicovery and History channels!!!!

Yup. THat's what I watched as a kid. I still like old B&W war movies better than the modern-day ones.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2002-11-07 04:22pm

PBS was all I had as a kid. You guys are lucky.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 04:24pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:PBS was all I had as a kid. You guys are lucky.

Well, it was PBS until I was eight or nine, when the History Channel arrived. Either that, or Nickelodeon, the Family Channel (*kills whoever created "The Waltons"*), or the Disney Channel.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-11-07 04:31pm

I watched scrambled adult channels when I was little.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-11-07 04:35pm

For me, true educational TV is "Jeopardy".

Anyway, what about "creation science"? "Celibate NBA player"? "Fundie logic"? "Unnoficial canon"? "Limited omnipotence"? "Conservative university professor"? Oh, that's not an oxymoron. Just something almost nonexistant.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-07 04:36pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:"Conservative university professor"? Oh, that's not an oxymoron. Just something almost nonexistant.

You'd be surprised...but then again, I don't get much into profs' perosnal lives...