IDIOT MASTER CHIEF WANKERS READ THIS FIRST

[Darth Wong]

Reference thread to be used when dealing with Master Chief wanktards who think that Master Chief can reliably dodge weapon blasts and thus make the weapon of most foes virtually useless:

She hefted one launcher and ran along the ridge- she was the fastest Spartan on the Chief's team. He was confident those Grunts wouldn't be able to track her for the three seconds she'd be exposed.

Oops, looks like their so-called "bullet dodging" actually has more to do with just running really fast and only exposing yourself for a few seconds at a time than literally being able to dodge bullets.

Explosive needles bounced off the Chief's armor, detonating as they hit the ground. He saw the flash of a plasma bolt- side stepped- and heard the air crackle where he had stood a split second before.

There's your plasma bolt wanking, but wait- what's that sentence immediately beforehand? Oh yes, he got hammered with needler rounds! Some Master Chief wankers pretend that needler rounds move like bullets, but of course, they haven't a shred of evidence for this claim and their bouncing low-penetration behaviour makes it pretty much impossible.

The Chief and his team sprinted up the half-kilometer sandstone slope in thirty-two seconds flat.

On a flat-out run, we're talking about 60 km/h or so. Very very impressive for a man on foot, but not so impressive that you can't shoot him. Cars travel that quickly on city streets.

The Banshees were one hundred meters away, then fifty meters. Their plasma weapons might recycle fast enough to get another shot ... and at this range, the Chief wouldn't be dodging.

John kicked the door in.

...

There were three men standing behind the armored crate, and one man crouched between them. Colonel Robert Watts- their "package".

John didn't have a clear shot. If he missed, he could hit the Colonel.

The three men, however, didn't have that problem. They fired.

John dove to his left. He caught three rounds in his side- knocking the breath from his body.

John and Kelly fired. Bullets filled the air and pinged off a silver shimmering barrier in front of the creature.

A bolt of blue heat blasted from the claw. The blast was similar to the plasma that had hit Commonwealth ... and boiled a third of it away.

Sam dove forward and knocked John out of the blast's path; the energy burst caught Sam in the side.

The alien raised its arm slightly and pointed at Kelly and James.

A flash of light blinded the Master Chief. There was a deafening explosion and a wave of heat. He blinked for a full three seconds before he recovered his vision.

Where Kelly and James had been there was a burning crater that fanned backward ... nothing but charcoal and ash remained of the Science Chamber behind them.

Kelly had moved in time; she crouched five meters deeper into the room, still firing. James was nowhere to be seen.

We learn later that James lost his arm to the blast, so he obviously didn't dodge it.

The Master Chief policed their plasma pistols and retrieved the shield generators clamped on their forearms. He had standing orders to collect intact specimens of Covenant technology. The Office of Naval Intelligence had not been able to replicate the Covenant's sheld technology. But they were getting close.

In the meantime, the Spartans would use these.

...

The other massive creature turned to face the Master Chief.

He hit the button on the shield generator on his arm and brought it up just in time- the nearest alien's weapon flashed again.

The air in front of the Master Chief shimmered and exploded- he flew backward, crashing through the wall, and skidded for ten meters before slamming into the wall of the next room.

The Jackal shield generator was white-hot. The Master Chief ripped the melted alien device off and threw it away.

Oops, looks like he takes the full force of a Hunter blast to his stolen Jackal shield, despite the ponderous movements of Hunters! Where are those super-reflexes now?

The Master Chief turned as the tent finished collapsing. The remaining four men could see him now. One reached for a grenade on his belt. The other three tracked him with their assault rifles.

The Master Chief threw the pole like a javelin at the man with the grenade. It impacted in his sternum and he fell with a whoopf.

The grenade, minus the pin, however, dropped to the ground.

The Master Chief moved and kicked the grenade. It arced over the parking lot and detonated in a cloud of smoke and shrapnel.

The three remaining Marines opened fire- spraying bullets in a full-auto fusillade. Bullets pinged off the Master Chief's shield.

More wanktard bullshit defeated.

Common Master Chief wanktard rebuttals tend to involve pretending that his reflexes greatly improved with the shielded Spartan armour (when in fact the shield and the ability to hold an AI were the only notable improvements according to the book), pretending that Cortana is always in Master Chief's suit (which she's not) or ignoring the laws of physics as they pertain to impossibly fast accelerations with nothing more than ground traction to provide motive force.