Quran predicted Relativity!

[Dooey Jo]

Normally, I wouldn't post this kind of thing, but the way I found this site was a little special. I did a google for "time dilation" and this site was a sponsored link. Seems like you can't do anything without stumbling across these kind of people. Anyway, here it is:

Is teh truth!!1!oneoneeleven

Their argument appears to go like this:
Take verse X

(Allah) Rules the cosmic affair from the heavens to the Earth. Then this affair travels to Him a distance in one day, at a measure of one thousand years of what you count.

Make assumptions and pick convenient numbers. Come up with number:
299792.5 km/s. Write it out in big letters. Claim victory.

Is it necessary to point out that it's a bit of stretch to interpret that verse to read as "light travels a distance of 12000 distorted lunar orbits in one day". Where the fuck to they even get that it's about the distance the moon covers? That it's about lunar years could be argued since that was what they used back then (and still do), but lunar orbits? Not to mention that you get a figure that is about 15 % off if you use the actual orbit of the moon, and not some "real perfect circular" orbit from which we then must determine a tangentical speed. That's a lot to read into one vague verse. I guess that's why they wasn't able to calculate this before the actual speed of light was known...


But wait, it gets better. The Quran predicts time-dilation, too! Just check out verse Y:

The angels and the Spirit ascend to Him in a day, the measure of which is fifty thousand years.

See? That means that a day was like fifty thousand years (let's ignore what relativity really says and not bother mention to what those figures are relative). And this time we'll not use a lunar year, but a year with 365 days.

What's really funny is that verse X contradicts verse Y. What's really the speed of light here? Does it move "one day in a thousand years" or "one day in fifty thousand years"? They're not even deriving the formula for time-dilation, they're just using it together with the observed speed of light to conclude that if you experience a time-dilation of that magnitude, you're moving close to c.


And that's not all. In verse Z, the Quran (but here we'll spell it Koran) predicts General Relativity:

They challenge you to bring forth that torture [in Hell] and Allah will not break His promise; a day of your Lord [Paradise/Hell promise] is like a thousand years of what you count.

(I thought a day versus a thousand years was the speed of light. Oh well, these people are above consistency I guess)
That's so obvious, so let's not even bother with any calculations here. In fact, it's so obvious that I wonder why muslims wasn't able to derive the formulas for GR 1400 years ago.

Here's a few assorted ideas

And the heaven, We built it with craftsmanship and We are still expanding.

If you think heaven is expanding like any other corporation you're wrong. This actually mean space-time is expanding.

On the day when We will fold the heaven, like the folder compacts the books, and as We originated the first creation We shall return it; a promise (binding on Us); surely We will deliver.

That's right people! Big Crunch is the correct scenario. What? Modern observations point to the opposite? Bah! Let's just retcon that fold to actually mean rip! Yeah, that sounds good! "Books", that can mean "dark energy", too!


There are other little gems (knocking stars that are holes (wtf) === black holes) there too, but you'll have to explore those for yourselves.

What is that drives these kind of people? They can never state their own reasons for doing this (I've never been able to get anything out of a person like this anyway, muslim or otherwise), so why do you think they're doing it?

[DPDarkPrimus]

Typical over-analyzed apologetics. I've seen Christians claim the Bible predicted relativity- nothing new.

[wolveraptor]

Heh, I've seen wackos that say the 2nd law of thermodynamics was revealed through the Bible.

"And yea, all things shall grow old.", or something. Yeah, that's radical and revealing.

[Kuroneko]

I seem to recall Rye having a Greek apologetics project. Having Zeno of Elea's arguments predicting relativity or even quantum mechanics but him failing to see actually see it is actually fairly interesting once dressed up a bit, and may be a good addition to that spoof (what became of it, anyway?).