StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Q: What is the name of Palpatine`s brother?


A: Ovaltine.

Q. What did Legolas see when he looked into the Mirror of Galadriel?







A: A Bloomin' fine Elf.

i about busted a gut when i came across this one...

elheru, i think you should explain..

Orlando Bloom=Legolas. That's what made it funny for me... sorry if you didn't catch it the first time.

but how does that make it funny???

Legolas looks in the mirror and sees Orlando Bloom... who is Legolas... it's the kinda joke you have to get the first time around for it to be really funny, sorry! maybe someone else can explain...

Elheru Aran wrote:Legolas looks in the mirror and sees Orlando Bloom... who is Legolas... it's the kinda joke you have to get the first time around for it to be really funny, sorry! maybe someone else can explain...

Looks like it's up to me.

[teen girl]Orlando Bloom is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!!!![/teen girl]

So...filthy...must wash...

Well it died the first round. ~Jason

*Melts down thread for scrap.
*Waits for mod to come in and stamp it with something silly like a warning from dalton or a lock.

Nobody else has any jokes??? Aw, hell... this being SDnet i'm sure there are a good few around!

SDnet is all about the deviant wit and sarcastic replies, not the oneliners.
Though fgalkin's got a few.

Me? All I have is a bunch of translated Russian jokes (some of which are funny to Americans, some are not)

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

might as well give us some... you'll find out soon enough whether or not they're good!

Here's the most popular one (many of you have heard it)

A Russian nuclear submarine meets an US nuclear sub. The Russians invite the Americans over for a visit. Suddenly, as the Americans enter, they hear a shout and much cursing by the Russian captain:

WHOT THE FUCK DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTROLS?! WHO THE FUCK DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTROLS?! WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTOLS?! (etc.)

The American captais tells his Russian colleague: "How can you subject your crew to such abuse? Back in the USA, we....."

"THERE IS NO MORE FUCKING USA, YOU IDIOT! WHO DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTOLS?!"

Good enough for you?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

LOL! not bad... a bit silly, but I guess that's the idea!

fgalkin wrote:Here's the most popular one (many of you have heard it)

A Russian nuclear submarine meets an US nuclear sub. The Russians invite the Americans over for a visit. Suddenly, as the Americans enter, they hear a shout and much cursing by the Russian captain:

WHOT THE FUCK DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTROLS?! WHO THE FUCK DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTROLS?! WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTOLS?! (etc.)

The American captais tells his Russian colleague: "How can you subject your crew to such abuse? Back in the USA, we....."

"THERE IS NO MORE FUCKING USA, YOU IDIOT! WHO DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTOLS?!"

Good enough for you?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Woah! I just had a flashback to when Teal'c tried to tell that joke on SG1....

I don't get it....

I assume they dropped the boot on the missile launch board of a SSBN.

ohhhh...

Now I get it.

Thanks.

More please! Anybody?

fgalkin wrote:Here's the most popular one (many of you have heard it)

A Russian nuclear submarine meets an US nuclear sub. The Russians invite the Americans over for a visit. Suddenly, as the Americans enter, they hear a shout and much cursing by the Russian captain:

WHOT THE FUCK DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTROLS?! WHO THE FUCK DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTROLS?! WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTOLS?! (etc.)

The American captais tells his Russian colleague: "How can you subject your crew to such abuse? Back in the USA, we....."

"THERE IS NO MORE FUCKING USA, YOU IDIOT! WHO DROPPED THE BOOT ON THE CONTOLS?!"

Good enough for you?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Lol. That was a good one.

I suppose I'll start with the two canonical MIT freshmen physics jokes:

Q: What do you get when you cross a mouse and an elephant?

A: Mouse Elephant Sin Theta.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

A: You can't cross a scalar and a vector!

I have some Scotsman/Sheep jokes too, but on second thought I probably shouldn't.

Symmetry wrote:
I have some Scotsman/Sheep jokes too, but on second thought I probably shouldn't.

Just replace "Scotsman" with "New Zealander" and you will get a mostly warm reception!

Radio conversation in the Atlantic ocean between Americans and Canadians:

A: Please change your course 15 degrees north to avoid colision. This is captain John of US Navy. I repeat: change course.
C: Sorry, but it is you who must change course.
A: This is the nuclear carrier "Abraham Lincoln" and it's task force. We request you change course or will have to enforce the security of this vessel.
C: This is a lighthouse. You decide.

Be epsilon < 0

In the middle of a forest, a tourist was suddenly confronted with a huge, mean, hungry bear. He turned and started to run as fast as he could. He ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff and has no escape. He fell on his knees, opened his arms to heaven and began to pray, "God, please give this bear some religion!"

Suddenly, there was mighty thunder and lightning and the skies parted and the bear stopped just a feet short of the tourist, and it too fell to its knees and began to pray.

"Dear God" said the bear "I give thee thanks for what I am about to receive..."